SUSAN  CLEGG 

AND 

HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 


ANNE  WARNER 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

GIFT  OF 
Professor  Malbone  W.  Graham 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 
HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 


1  Nothing    but    the    floor    stopped    me    from    falling 
through  to  China."    FRONTISPIECE.    See  Page  J44- 


SUSAN  CLEGG 

AND  HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 


BY 

ANNE  WARNER 

Author  of  "The  Rejuvenation  of  Aunt  Mary,' 
"Sunshine  Jane,"  etc. 


WITH  FRONTISPIECE  BY 

H.  M.  BRETT 


BOSTON 
LITTLE,  BROWN,  AND  COMPANY 

1916 


Copyright,  1916, 
BY  LITTLE,  BROWN,  AND  COMPANY. 

All  rights  reserved. 


Published,  May,  1916 
Reprinted,  May,  1916 


TS 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I  SUSAN  CLEGG'S  COURTING     .     .     .     .  i 

II  SUSAN  CLEGG  AND  THE  CHINESE  LADY    32 

III  SUSAN  CLEGG  SOLVES  THE  MYSTERY    .  58 

IV  SUSAN  CLEGG  AND  THE  OLIVE  BRANCH  So 
V  SUSAN  CLEGG'S  "IMPROVEMENTS"    .     .  104 

VI  SUSAN  CLEGG  UPROOTED  ....  129 

,  VII  SUSAN  CLEGG  UNSETTLED  ....  153 

VIII  SUSAN  CLEGG  AND  THE  CYCLONE  .  .  176 

IX  SUSAN  CLEGG'S  PRACTICAL  FRIEND  .  216 

X  SUSAN  CLEGG  DEVELOPS  IMAGINATION  .  236 

XI  SUSAN  CLEGG  AND  THE  PLAYWRIGHT  .  256 

XII  SUSAN  CLEGG'S  DISAPPEARANCE  .  .  277 


SUSAN  CLEGG 

AND  HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

I 

SUSAN  CLEGG'S  COURTING 

MRS.  LATHROP  sat  on  her  front 
piazza.,  and  Susan  Clegg  sat  with  her. 
Mrs.  Lathrop  was  rocking,  and  Susan  was 
just  back  from  the  Sewing  Society.  Neither 
Mrs.  -Lathrop  nor  Susan  was  materially 
altered  since  we  saw  them  last.  Time  had 
moved  on  a  bit,  but  not  a  great  deal,  and 
although  both  were  older,  still  they  were  not 
much  older. 

They  were  not  enough  older  for  Mrs. 
Lathrop  to  have  had  a  new  rocker,  nor  for 
Susan  to  have  purchased  a  new  bonnet. 
Susan  indeed  looked  almost  absolutely  un- 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

altered.  She  was  a  woman  of  the  best  wear- 
ing quality;  she  was  hard  and  firm  as  ever, 
and  if  there  were  any  plating  about  her,  it 
was  of  the  quadruple  kind  and  would  last. 

If  the  reader  knows  Susan  Clegg  at  all,  he 
will  surmise  that  she  was  talking.  And  he 
will  be  right.  Susan  was  most  emphatically 
talking.  She  had  returned  from  the  Sewing 
Society  full  to  the  brim,  and  Mrs.  Lathrop 
was  already  enjoying  the  overflow.  Mrs. 
Lathrop  liked  to  rock  and  listen.  She  never 
went  to  the  Sewing  Society  herself — she 
never  went  anywhere. 

"We  was  talking  about  dreams,"  Susan 
was  saying;  "it's  a  very  curious  thing  about 
dreams.  Do  you  know,  Mrs.  Lathrop," 
wrinkling  her  brow  and  regarding  her  friend 
with  that  look  of  friendship  which  is  not 
blind  to  any  faults,  "do  you  know,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  they  said  down  there  that  dreams 
always  go  by  contraries.  We  was  discuss- 
ing it  for  a  long  time,  and  they  ended  up 
by  making  me  believe  in  it.  You  see,  it  all 
began  by  my  saying  how  I  dreamed  last  night 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

that  Jathrop  was  back,  and  he  was  a  cat  and 
your  cat,  too,  and  he  did  something  he  wasn't 
let  to,  and  you  made  one  jump  at  him,  and 
out  of  the  window  he  went.  Now  that  was 
a  very  strange  dream  for  me  to  have 
dreamed,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  Mrs.  Lupey, 
who's  staying  with  Mrs.  Macy  to-day  and 
maybe  to-morrow,  too,  says  she's  sure  it's  a 
sign.  She  says  if  dreams  go  by  contraries, 
mine  ought  to  be  a  sign  as  Jathrop  is  coming 
back,  for  the  contraries  is  all  there :  Jathrop 
wasn't  a  cat,  and  he  never  done  nothing  that 
he  shouldn't — nor  that  he  should,  neither — 
and  you  never  jump — I  don't  believe  you've 
jumped  in  years,  have  you?" 

"I — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  reminiscently. 

"Oh,  that  time  don't  count,"  said  Susan, 
"it  was  just  my  ball  of  yarn,  even  if  it  did 
look  like  a  rat;  I  meant  a  jump  when  you 
meant  it ;  you  didn't  mean  that  jump.  Well, 
an'  to  go  back  to  the  dream  and  what  was 
said  about  it  and  to  tell  you  the  rest  of  it, 
there  wasn't  any  more  of  it,  but  there  was 
plenty  more  said  about  it.  All  of  the  dream 
3 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

was  that  the  cat  went  out  of  the  window,  and 
I  woke  up,  but,  oh,  my,  how  we  did  talk! 
Gran'ma  Mullins  wanted  to  know  in  the 
first  place  how  I  knew  that  the  cat  was  Ja- 
throp.  She  was  most  interested  in  that,  for 
she  says  she  often  dreams  of  animals,  but  it 
never  struck  her  that  they  might  be  any  one 
she  knew.  She  dreamed  she  found  a  daddy- 
long-legs  looking  in  her  bureau  drawer  the 
other  night,  but  she  never  gave  it  another 
thought.  She'll  be  more  careful  after  this, 
I  guess.  Well,  then  I  begun  to  consider, 
and  for  the  life  of  me  I  can't  think  how  I 
knew  that  that  cat  was  Jathrop.  As  I  re- 
member it  was  a  very  common  looking  cat, 
but  being  common  looking  wouldn't  mean 
Jathrop.  Jathrop  was  common  looking,  but 
not  a  common  cat  kind  of  common  looking. 
It  was  a  very  strange  dream,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
the  more  I  consider  it,  the  more  I  can't  see 
what  give  it  to  me.  I  finished  up  the  dough- 
nuts just  before  I  went  to  bed,  for  I  was 
afraid  they'd  mold  in  another  day  with  this 
damp  weather,  but  it  don't  seem  as  if  dough- 
4 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

nuts  ought  to  result  in  cats  like  Jathrop.  If 
I'd  dreamed  of  mice,  it'd  been  different,  for 
some  of  the  doughnuts  was  gnawed  in  a  way 
as  showed  as  there'd  been  mice  in  the  jar: 
It  does  beat  all  how  mice  get  about.  Maybe 
it  was  the  mice  made  me  think  Jathrop  was 
a  cat.  But  even  then  I  can't  see  how  I  did 
come  to  dream  that  dream.  Unless  it  was 
a  sign.  Mrs.  Lupey's  sure  it  was  a  sign. 
We  talked  about  signs  the  whole  of  the  Sew- 
ing Society.  Dreams  and  signs.  Every- 
body told  all  they  knew.  Mrs.  Macy  told 
about  her  snow  dream.  Whenever  Mrs. 
Macy  has  her  snow  dream,  somebody  dies. 
She  says  it's  so  interesting  to  look  in  a  paper 
the  next  time  she  gets  hold  of  one  and  see 
who  it  was.  One  time  she  thought  it  was 
Edgar  Allen  Poe,  but  when  she  read  it  over 
twice,  she  see  that  it  was  just  that  he'd  been 
born.  She  says  her  snow  dream's  a  won- 
derful sign;  it's  never  failed  once.  She 
dreamed  it  the  night  before  the  earthquake 
in  Italy,  and  she  says  to  think  how  many 
died  of  it  that  time ! 

5 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"This  started  Gran'ma  Mullins,  and 
Gran'ma  Mullins  told  about  that  dream  she 
had  the  year  before  she  met  her  husband. 
That  was  an  awful  dream.  I  wonder  she 
met  her  husband  a  tall  after  it.  She  thought 
she  was  alone  in  a  thick  wood,  and  she  saw 
a  man  coming,  and  she  was  scared  to  death. 
She  says  she  can  feel  her  trembling  now. 
She  didn't  know  what  to  do,  'cause  if  she'd 
hid  among  the  trees  he  couldn't  have  seen 
her,  and  that  idea  scared  her  as  bad  as  the 
other.  So  she  just  stood  and  shook  and 
watched  the  man  coming  nearer  and  nearer. 
I've  heard  her  tell  the  story  a  hundred  times, 
but  my  blood  always  sort  o'  runs  cold  to 
hear  it.  The  man  come  nearer  and  nearer 
and,  my,  but  she  says  he  was  a  man!  She 
was  just  a  young  girl,  but  she  was  old  enough 
to  be  afraid,  and  old  enough  not  to  want  to 
hide  from  him,  neither.  She  says  it  was  an 
awful  lesson  to  her  about  going  in  woods 
alone,  because  of  course  you  can't  never  ex- 
pect any  sympathy  if  the  man  does  murder 
you  or  kiss  you — everybody '11  just  say,  'Why 
6 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

didn't  she  hide  in  the  woods?'  Well, 
Gran'ma  Mullins  says  there  she  stood,  and 
she  can  see  herself  still  standing  there.  She 
says  she's  never  been  in  the  woods  since  just 
on  account  of  that  dream — and  then,  too, 
she's  one  of  those  that  the  mosquitos  all  get 
on  in  the  woods.  And  then,  besides,  she 
doesn't  like  woods,  anyway.  And  then,  be- 
sides, there  ain't  no  thick  woods  around  here. 
But,  anyhow,  you  know  what  happened — just 
as  he  got  to  her  she  woke  up,  and  I  must 
say  of  all  the  tame  stories  to  have  to  sit  and 
listen  to  over  and  over,  that  dream  of 
Gran'ma  Mullins  is  the  tamest.  I  get  tired 
the  minute  she  begins  it,  but  my  dream  had 
started  every  one  to  telling  signs,  and  so  of 
course  Gran'ma  Mullins  had  to  tell  hers 
along  with  the  rest. 

"When  she  was  done  Mrs.  Lupey  told  us 
about  her  mother,  Mrs.  Kitts,  and  a  curious 
kind  of  prophetic  dream  she  used  to  have 
and  kept  right  on  having  up  to  the  day  she 
died.  Mrs.  Lupey  said  she  never  heard  the 
like  of  those  dreams  of  her  mother's,  and  I 
7 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

guess  nobody  else  ever  has,  either.  No,  nor 
never  will.  Well,  it  seems  Mrs.  Kitts  used 
to  dream  she  was  falling  out  of  bed,  and  the 
curious  part  is  that  she  always  did  fall  out 
of  bed  just  as  she  dreamed  it,  so  it  never 
failed  to  come  true.  She'd  dream  she  hit 
the  floor  bang!  and  the  next  second  she'd  hit 
the  floor  bang!  Mrs.  Lupey  said  she  never 
saw  such  a  dream  for  coming  true;  if  old 
Mrs.  Kitts  dreamed  she  hit  her  head,  she'd 
hit  her  head,  and  the  time  she  dreamed  she 
sprained  her  wrist,  she  sprained  her  wrist, 
and  the  time  she  had  her  stroke,  as  soon  as 
her  mind  was  got  back  in  place  she  told  them 
she'd  dreamed  she  had  a  stroke  in  her  chair 
just  before  she  fell  out  of  her  chair  with  the 
stroke.  Even  the  minister's  wife  didn't 
have  a  word  to  say. 

"Mrs.  Lupey  said  her  mother  was  a  most 
remarkable  woman.  She's  very  sorry  now 
she  didn't  board  that  painter  for  a  portrait 
of  her.  The  painter  was  so  awful  took  with 
old  Mrs.  Kitts  that  he  was  willing  to  do  her 
for  six  weeks  and  with  the  frame  for  two 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

months.  But  Mrs.  Lupey  was  afraid  to 
have  a  painter  around.  She'd  just  read  a 
detective  story  about  a  painter  that  killed 
the  woman  he  was  painting  because  he  didn't 
want  any  one  else  to  paint  her.  Mrs.  Lupey 
said  it  was  a  very  Frenchy  story — there  was 
a  lot  between  the  lines  and  on  the  lines,  too 
— as  she  couldn't  make  out,  but  it  taught  her 
never  to  have  painters  around,  for  you  never 
could  be  sure  in  a  house  with  four  other 
women  that  he'd  kill  the  one  he  was  paint- 
ing. But  she's  sorry  now,  for  she's  older 
now  and  wiser  and  a  match  for  any  painter 
going,  long-haired,  short-haired  or  no  hair 
at  all.  But  it's  too  late  now,  and  there's 
Mrs.  Kitts  dead  unpainted,  and  all  they've 
got  left  is  a  sweet  memory  and  that  cane  she 
used  to  hit  at  'em  with  when  they  weren't 
spry  enough  to  suit  her,  and  her  hymn-book 
which  she  marked  up  without  telling  any 
one  and  left  for  a  remembrance.  Mrs. 
Lupey  says  such  markings  you  never  heard 
of. 

"When  Mrs.  Lupey  was  all  done,  Mrs. 

9 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Brown  took  her  turn  and  told  us  some  very 
interesting  things  about  Amelia.  Seems 
Amelia  is  so  far  advanced  in  learning  what 
nobody  can  understand  that  she  can  see  quite 
a  little  ways  ahead  now  and  tell  just  what 
she's  going  to  do.  She  can't  see  for  the  rest 
of  the  family,  but  she  can  see  for  herself. 
Sometimes  it's  just  a  day  ahead,  and  some- 
times it's  a  long  way  ahead.  The  longest 
way  ahead  that  she's  seen  yet  is  that  she 
can't  see  herself  ever  getting  up  to  breakfast 
again.  Mrs.  Brown  says  of  course  she  re- 
spects Amelia's  religious  views,  but  it's  try- 
ing when  Amelia  wants  to  go  to  church,  but 
doesn't  see  herself  going,  so  has  to  stay  at 
home.  She  says  Amelia  just  loves  to  sew, 
but  she  can't  see  herself  sewing  any  more, 
so  she's  given  it  all  up.  She  says  Amelia's 
got  a  superior  mind — anybody  can  tell  that 
only  to  see  the  way  she's  took  to  doing  her 
hair — but  she  says  it's  a  little  hard  on  young 
Doctor  Brown  and  her,  who  haven't  got 
superior  minds,  to  live  with  her.  Amelia 
don't  want  to  kill  flies  any  more,  for  fear 
10 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

they're  going  to  be  her  blood  relations  a 
million  years  from  now,  and  Mrs.  Brown 
says  she  never  was  any  good  once  a  mouse 
was  caught,  but  now  she  won't  even  hear  to 
setting  a  trap;  she  says  all  things  has  equal 
rights,  and  if  she  feels  a  spider,  some  one 
has  got  to  take  it  off  her  and  set  it  gently 
outside  on  the  grass.  Oh,  Mrs.  Brown  says, 
Amelia's  very  hard  to  live  up  to,  even  with 
the  best  will  in  the  world.  Mrs. — " 

Here  Susan  was  interrupted  by  Brunhilde 
Susan,  the  minister's  youngest  child,  who 
brought  the  evening  milk  and  the  evening 
paper. 

"There  was  a  letter,  so  I  brought  that, 
too,"  said  Brunhilde  Susan. 

"A  letter!"  said  Susan  in  surprise. 

"It's  for  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  said  Brunhilde 
Susan. 

"For  me!"  said  Mrs.  Lathrop  in  even 
greater  surprise. 

"Yes'm,"  said  Brunhilde  Susan. 

A  letter  for  Mrs.  Lathrop  was  indeed  a 
surprise,  as  that  good  lady  had  only  received 
II 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

two  in  the  last  five  years.  As  those  had 
been  of  the  least  interesting  variety,  she 
looked  upon  the  present  one  with  but  mild 
interest.  The  next  minute  she  gave  a 
scream,  for,  turning  it  over  as  some  people 
always  do  turn  a  letter  over  before  opening 
it,  she  read  on  the  back  "Return  to  Jathrop 
Lathrop  .  .  ."  and  her  fingers  turning  numb 
with  surprise  and  her  head  dizzy  for  the 
same  reason,  she  dropped  it  on  the  floor 
forthwith. 

Brunhilde  Susan  had  turned  and  gone 
back  down  the  walk.  Miss  Clegg,  who  had 
been  regarding  her  friend's  slowness  to  take 
action  with  ill-concealed  impatience,  now 
made  no  attempt  at  concealing  anything,  but 
leaned  over  abruptly  and  picked  up  the  let- 
ter. As  soon  as  she  looked  at  it  she  came 
near  dropping  it,  too.  "From  Jathrop !"  she 
exclaimed,  in  a  tone  appalled.  "Well,  Mrs. 
Lathrop!" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  was  quite  speechless. 
Susan  held  the  letter  and  began  to  regard  it 
closely.  It  was  quite  a  minute  before  an- 

12 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

other  sound  was  made,  then  suddenly  a  light 
burst  over  the  younger  woman's  face.  "It's 
my  dream.  I  told  you  so.  It  was  a  sign, 
just  as  Mrs.  Lupey  said.  He's  coming 
back!" 

She  looked  toward  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  Mrs. 
Lathrop  still  sat  quite  limp  and  gasping  for 
breath. 

"Shall  I  open  it  and  read  it  to  you?"  Susan 
then  suggested. 

"Y — y — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  and  could 
get  no  further. 

At  that  Susan  promptly  opened  the  letter. 
It  was  written  on  the  paper  of  a  Chicago 
hotel,  and  ran  thus: 

"Dear  Mother: 

"Years  have  passed  by,  and  here  I  am  on  my  way 
home  again.  I've  been  to  the  Klondike  and  am  now 
rick  and  on  my  way  home.  I  hope  that  you  are  well 
and  safe  at  home.  You'll  be  glad  to  see  me  home 
again,  I  know.  How  is  everybody  at  home  ?  How 
is  Susan  Clegg?  I  shall  get  home  Saturday  morn- 
ing. 

"Your  afft.  son, 

"J.  LATHROP,  ESQ." 

13 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

That  was  all  and  surely  it  was  quite 
enough. 

"Well,  I  declare!"  Susan  Clegg  said,  star- 
ing first  at  the  letter  and  then  at  the  mother. 
"Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop!  Well,  I  declare.  It 
was  a  sign.  You  and  me'll  never  doubt 
signs  after  this,  I  guess." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  made  an  effort  to  rally,  but 
only  succeeded  in  just  feebly  shaking  her 
head. 

Susan  continued  to  hold  the  letter  in 
her  hand  and  contemplate  it.  Another  slow 
minute  or  two  passed. 

But  at  last  the  wheels  of  life  began  to 
turn  again,  and  that  active  mind,  which 
grasped  so  much  so  readily,  grasped  this 
news,  too.  Miss  Clegg  ceased  to  view  the 
letter  and  began  to  take  action  regarding  it. 

"Did  you  notice  what  he  says  here,  Mrs. 
Lathrop  ?  He  says  he's  rich.  I  don't  know 
whether  you  noticed  or  not  as  I  read,  but  he 
says  he's  rich.  I  wonder  how  rich  he 
means !" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  opened  and  shut  her  eyes  in 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

a  futile  way  that  she  had,  but  continued 
speechless. 

"Rich/'  repeated  Miss  Clegg,  "and  me 
dreaming  of  him  last  night;  that's  very  curi- 
ous, when  you  come  to  think  of  it,  'cause  I'm 
rich,  too.  And  I  was  dreaming  of  him !  It 
doesn't  make  any  difference  my  thinking  he 
was  a  cat ;  I  knew  it  was  Jathrop,  even  if  he 
was  only  a  cat  in  a  dream.  Strange  my 
dreaming  of  him  that  way!  I  can  see  him 
flying  out  of  the  window  right  now.  He  was 
one  of  those  lanky,  long  cats  that  eat  from 
dawn  till  dark  and  every  time  your  back's 
turned  and  yet  keep  the  neighbors  saying 
you  starve  it.  And  to  think  it  was  Jathrop 
all  the  time!  Thinking  of  me  right  that 
minute,  probably.  And  he  says,  'How's 
Susan  Clegg?'  And  he's  rich.  I  do  won- 
der what  he'd  call  rich !" 

Susan  paused  and  looked  at  her  friend, 
but  Mrs.  Lathrop  remained  dumb. 

"The  Klondike,  that's  where  he  went  to, 
was  it?  Goodness,  I  wonder  how  he  ever 
got  there!  Well,  I'll  never  be  surprised  at 
15 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

nothing  after  this.  I've  had  many  little  sur- 
prises in  my  life,  but  never  nothing  to  equal 
this.  Jathrop  Lathrop  come  back  rich! 
Why,  the  whole  town  will  be  at  the  station 
to  meet  him  to-morrow.  I  wonder  if  he'll 
come  in  the  parlor-car!  Think  of  Jathrop 
being  a  cat  overnight  and  coming  in  a  parlor- 
car  next  day!  And  he  says,  'How's  Susan 
Clegg?' " 

The  last  three  words  seemed  to  make  quite 
an  impression  on  Susan,  but  Mrs.  Lathrop 
appeared  smashed  so  supremely  flat  that 
nothing  could  make  any  further  impression 
on  her.  She  continued  dumb,  and  Susan 
continued  to  hold  the  letter  and  comment  on 
it. 

"I  wonder  what  he  looks  like  now.  I 
wonder  if  he's  grown  any  better  looking !  I 
certainly  do  wonder  if  he's  got  any  homelier. 
And  he's  rich!  Why,  nobody  from  this 
town  has  ever  gone  away  and  got  rich  be- 
fore, not  that  I  can  remember.  I  call  my- 
self a  rich  woman,  but  I  ain't  rich  enough  to 
dream  of  writing  it  in  a  letter.  I  certainly 
16 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

should  like  to  know  what  Jathrop  calls  be- 
ing rich.  He  couldn't  possibly  have  millions, 
or  it  would  have  reached  here  somehow. 
Maybe  he's  been  digging  under  another 
name!  I  suppose  three  or  four  thousand 
would  seem  enough  to  make  him  call  himself 
rich.  If  he  comes  home  with  three  or  four 
thousand  and  calls  that  being  rich,  I  shall 
certainly  feel  very  sorry  for  you,  Mrs.  La- 
throp.  He'll  be  very  airy  over  his  money, 
and  he'll  live  on  yours.  If  you've  got  to  have 
any  one  live  with  you,  it's  better  for  them  to 
have  no  money  a  tall,  because  if  they've  got 
ever  such  a  little,  they  always  feel  so  perky 
over  it.  Mrs.  Brown  says  if  Amelia  didn't 
have  that  six  dollars  and  seventy-five  cents  a 
month  from  her  dead  mother,  she'd  be  much 
easier  to  live  with.  Mrs.  Brown  says  when- 
ever Doctor  Brown  trys  to  control  Amelia, 
Amelia  hops  up  and  says  she'll  pay  for  it 
with  her  own  money.  Mrs.  Brown  says  to 
hear  Amelia,  you'd  think  she  had  at  least  ten 
dollars  a  month  of  her  own.  Mrs.  Brown's 
so  sad  over  Amelia.  Amelia  sees  herself 
17 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

doing  such  outlandish  things  some  days. 
Mrs.  Brown  says  your  son's  wife  is  the  big- 
gest puzzle  a  woman  ever  gets.  I  guess 
Mrs.  Brown  would  have  liked  young  Doctor 
Brown  never  to  marry." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  opened  her  mouth  and  shut 
it  again. 

"I  suppose  you're  thinking  where  to  put 
Jathrop  when  he  comes,"  Susan  said  quickly. 
"I've  been  thinking  of  that,  too.  Where 
can  you  put  him,  anyway?  He  never  can 
sleep  in  that  little  shed  bedroom  where  he 
used  to  sleep,  if  he's  really  rich,  and  he'll 
have  to  have  some  place  to  wash  before  we 
can  find  out." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  looked  distressed.  "I — "  she 
began. 

"Oh,  that  wouldn't  do,"  said  Susan,  knit- 
ting her  brows  quickly.  "Think  of  the  work 
of  changing  all  your  things.  No,  I'll  tell  you 
what's  the  best  thing  to  do ;  he  can  sleep  over 
at  my  house.  Father's  room  was  all  cleaned 
last  week,  and  I'll  make  up  the  bed,  and 
Jathrop  can  sleep  there  until  we  find  out  how 
18 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

to  treat  him.  Maybe  his  old  shed  bedroom 
will  do,  after  all,  or  maybe  he's  so  awfully 
rich  he'll  enjoy  sleeping  in  it,  like  the  presi- 
dent liked  to  stack  hay.  Maybe  he'll  ask 
nothing  better  than  to  chop  wood  and  take 
the  ashes  out  of  the  stove  just  for  a  change. 
I  do  wonder  how  rich  he  is.  If  he's  rich 
enough  to  have  a  private  car,  I  expect  this 
town  will  open  its  eyes.  You'll  see  a  great 
change  in  your  position,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  if 
Jathrop  comes  in  a  private  car  to-morrow 
morning.  There's  something  about  a  pri- 
vate car  as  makes  everybody  step  around 
lively.  I  don't  say  that  I  shan't  respect  him 
more  myself  if  he  comes  in  a  private  car. 
But  he  can  sleep  one  night  in  father's  room, 
anyway,  although  if  he  calls  it  being  rich  to 
come  home  with  just  two  or  three  thousand, 
I  think  he'd  better  understand  it's  for  just  one 
night  right  from  the  start.  I  wouldn't  want 
Jathrop  to  think  that  I  had  any  time  to  waste 
on  him  if  he  calls  just  two  or  three  thousand 
being  rich.  It'd  be  no  wonder  I  dreamed  he 
was  a  cat,  if  he's  got  the  face  to  call  that 
19 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

being  rich.  But  that  would  be  just  like 
Jathrop.  You  know  yourself  that  if  Ja- 
throp  could  ever  do  anything  to  disappoint 
anybody,  he  never  let  the  chance  slide.  I 
never  had  no  use  for  Jathrop  Lathrop,  as 
you  know  to  your  cost,  Mrs.  Lathrop.  But, 
still,  if  he  really  is  rich,  I  haven't  got  any- 
thing against  him,  and  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll 
do  right  now:  I'll  go  home  and  put  that 
room  in  order  and  get  my  supper,  and  then 
after  supper  I'll  just  run  down  to  the  square 
and  see  if  anybody  else  knows,  and  then  I'll 
come  back  and  tell  you  if  they  do.  It's  no 
use  your  trying  to  put  things  a  little  in  order, 
because  you  couldn't  straighten  this  place  up 
in  a  month,  and,  besides,  it  isn't  worth  fuss- 
ing till  we  know  how  rich  he  is.  He  may 
just  have  writ  that  in  for  a  joke — to  break  it 
to  you  gently  that  he's  coming  back  again  to 
live  here.  Heaven  help  you  if  that's  the 
case,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  for  Jathrop  never  will. 
It  isn't  in  me  to  deceive  so  much  as  a  fly  on 
the  window,  and  I  never  have  deceived  you 
and  I  never  will." 

20 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

With  which  promise  Susan  took  her  de- 
parture. 

It  was  all  of  three  hours — quite  nine  in 
the  evening — when  Susan  came  back.  She 
found  Mrs.  Lathrop  transferred  to  her  back 
porch  and  seemingly  in  a  somewhat  less  com- 
plete state  of  total  paralysis  than  when  she 
had  left  her. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  looked  up  as  her  friend 
approached  and  smiled. 

"Nobody  knew,"  Susan  announced  as  she 
mounted  the  steps,  "but  every  one  knows 
now,  for  I  told  them.  Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
you  never  saw  anything  like  it.  There  isn't 
a  person  in  town  as  ever  expected  to  see  Ja- 
throp  again,  and  only  about  three  as  always 
thought  he'd  come  back  rich.  Every  one's 
going  to  the  station  to-morrow  morning, 
even  Mrs.  Macy.  Mrs.  Macy  says  if  it's  one 
of  the  mornings  she  can't  walk,  she'll  hire 
Hiram  and  his  wheelbarrow  just  as  she  does 
for  church  those  Sundays.  Everybody's  so 
interested.  I  told  them  about  the  private 
car,  and  everybody  hopes  that  he's  got  one, 
21 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

and  that  he'll  come  in  it.  Mr.  Dill  says  he 
must  be  rich  if  he's  been  to  the  Klondike  and 
come  back  a  tall.  He  says  there's  no  half- 
way work  about  the  Klondike.  Either  you 
come  back  a  millionaire  or  else  you  eat  first 
your  dog  and  then  your  boots  and  that's 
the  last  of  you.  Gran'ma  Mullins  says  she 
never  heard  of  eating  boots  in  the  Klondike ; 
she  thought  you  rode  on  a  sled  there  and 
that  there  weren't  any  women.  She  says 
Hiram's  spoken  of  going  there  once  or  twice, 
and  Lucy  thought  maybe  the  coasting  would 
do  him  good,  but  Gran'ma  Mullins  says  not 
while  she's  alive,  no,  sir.  Why,  it's  'way 
across  America  and  up  a  ways,  and  so  many 
people  want  to  go  up  that  they  have  to  sleep 
three  in  a  berth,  and  she  says  will  you  only 
think  of  Hiram,  with  the  way  she's  brought 
him  up,  three  in  a  berth.  If  the  bed  ain't 
tucked  in  with  Gran'ma  Mullins'  own  par- 
ticular kind  of  tuck,  Hiram  kicks  at  night 
and  don't  get  any  proper  nourishment  out  of 
his  sleep.  No,  Gran'ma  Mullins  says  she 
couldn't  think  of  Hiram  in  the  Klondike 

22 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

sleeping  under  a  snow-pile  and  having  to 
hunt  up  a  whale  whenever  he  was  in  need 
of  more  kerosene  oil.  And  she  says  what 
good  would  millions  do  her  with  the  bones  of 
the  only  baby  she  ever  had  feeding  whatever 
kind  of  creature  they  have  up  there.  No, 
she  says,  no,  and  a  million  times  more,  no; 
she's  been  reading  about  it  in  a  New  York 
paper  that  came  wrapped  around  her  new 
stove  lid,  and  she  knows  all  there  is  to  know 
on  that  subject  now.  She  says  a  New  York 
paper  is  so  interesting.  She  says  the  way  they 
print  them  makes  it  very  entertaining.  She 
was  reading  about  a  sea  serpent,  and  when 
she  turned,  she  turned  wrong,  and  she  read 
twelve  columns  about  the  suffragettes,  look- 
ing eagerly  to  see  when  the  sea  serpent  was 
going  on  again.  She  says  she  give  up  trying 
to  see  why  they  print  them  so  or  ever  trying 
to  finish  any  one  subject  at  a  time;  she  just 
goes  regularly  through  the  paper  now  and 
lets  the  subjects  fight  it  out  to  suit  them- 
selves. She  says  it  makes  the  last  part  very 
interesting.  You  read  about  a  baby,  and 
23 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

after  a  while  you  find  out  whether  it's  the 
Queen  of  Spain's  or  just  a  race-horse.  She 
says  she  supposes  next  Sunday  there'll  be  a 
picture  of  Jathrop  in  the  paper;  maybe 
there'll  be  a  view  of  this  house  with  you  and 
me.  I  think  that  that  would  be  very  inter- 
esting." 

Susan  paused  to  consider  the  idyllic  little 
picture  thus  presented  to  her  mind's  eye,  and 
Mrs.  Lathrop  continued  to  say  nothing. 
After  a  while  Susan  went  on  again: 

"I've  been  thinking  a  good  deal  about  that 
letter,  Mrs.  Lathrop.  I  don't  know  whether 
you  noticed  or  not,  but  to  my  order  of  think- 
ing it  was  very  strange  his  saying,  'How's 
Susan  Clegg?'  That's  a  curious  thing  for 
an  unmarried  man  to  ask  his  mother  about 
an  unmarried  woman.  When  you  come  to 
consider  how  Jathrop  was  wild  to  marry  me 
once,  it  really  means  a  terrible  lot.  I  was 
the  first  woman  except  you  he  ever  kissed; 
he  wasn't  but  a  year  old,  and  I  was  thirteen, 
but  those  things  make  an  impression.  I 
don't  mind  telling  you  that  I've  often  thought 
24 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

about  Jathrop  nights — and  days,  too. '  And 
lately  I've  been  thinking  of  him  more  and 
more.  And  you  can  see  that  he's  been  feel- 
ing the  same  about  me,  for  he's  showed  that 
plain  enough  by  saying  in  black  and  white, 
'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  Jathrop  is  a  very 
silent  nature,  you  can  see  that  from  his  never 
writing  even  to  his  own  mother  in  all  these 
years.  It  means  a  good  deal  when  a  silent 
nature  opens  its  mouth  all  of  a  sudden  and 
writes,  'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  And  then 
my  dreaming  of  him  was  so  strange.  He 
had  soft  gray  fur  and  big  bright  yellow  eyes, 
and  the  way  he  flew  out  of  the  window! 
Even  in  my  dream  I  noticed  how  nice  he 
jumped.  He  made  a  beautiful  cat.  And 
you  know  I  always  stood  up  for  him,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  I  always  did  that.  Even  when  I 
thought  he  needed  lynching  as  much  as  any- 
body, I  never  said  so.  And  now  he's  come 
back  rich,  and  he's  coming  home  to  you  and 
me,  and  he  says,  'How's  Susan  Clegg?' 
'How's— Susan— Clegg?'  " 

Susan's  voice  died  dreamily  away.     Mrs. 
25 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Lathrop  said  nothing.  After  a  minute 
Susan's  voice  went  on  again :  "It's  too  bad 
I  haven't  time  to  sort  of  freshen  up  my 
striped  silk.  It's  got  awful  creasy  laying 
folded  so  long.  I'd  of  put  some  new  braid 
around  the  bottom  if  I'd  known,  and  if  this 
town  wasn't  so  noticey,  I'd  put  my  hair  up 
on  rollers  to-night.  A  little  crimp  sets  my 
wave  off  so.  But,  laws,  everybody'd  be  ask- 
ing why  I  did  it,  and  if  Jathrop's  got  any 
idea  of  me  in  his  head,  it'll  be  very  easy  to 
knock  it  right  straight  out  if  this  town  gets 
first  chance  at  him.  But  I  don't  intend  that 
this  town  shall  get  first  chance  at  him.  I 
shall  be  on  that  platform  to-morrow  morn- 
ing, and  I'll  be  the  nearest  to  that  train,  and 
once  he  gets  off  that  train,  I  shall  bring  him 
right  straight  up  here  to  you  and  me.  It's 
safest,  and  it's  his  duty,  too.  As  soon  as 
you've  seen  him,  I'll  take  him  over  to  my 
house  to  wash.  Then  I'll  give  him  his 
breakfast,  and  by  the  time  he's  done  his 
breakfast,  if  he  really  means  anything,  I'll 
know  it.  If  he  really  means  anything,  we'll 
26 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

come  over  after  breakfast,  and  it'll  do  your 
heart  good  to  see  how  happy  we'll  look.  He 
can  leave  his  bag  in  father's  room  then,  for 
we'll  have  so  much  to  talk  over  it'll  be  more 
convenient  to  take  him  over  there.  You  can 
see  that  for  yourself,  Mrs.  Lathrop — you 
know  how  young  people  like  to  be  alone  to- 
gether when  they're  engaged,  and  a  woman 
of  my  age  don't  need  no  looking  after  any 
longer.  I'm  no  Gran'ma  Mullins  to  be 
worrying  over  woods  nor  yet  any  Mrs. 
Lupey  as  supposes  every  man  you  let  into 
your  house  may  be  going  to  hit  you  over  the 
head  when  you're  thinking  of  something 
pleasant. 

"No,  I  ain't  afraid  of  Jathrop  Lathrop 
nor  of  any  other  man  alive,  thank  heaven. 
But,  if  I  find  out  as  he  don't  mean  anything, 
I  shall  march  him  over  to  you  in  sharp  order, 
bag  and  all.  If  he  don't  mean  anything,  I'll 
soon  know  the  reason  why,  and  as  soon  as  I 
know  the  reason  why,  I'll  send  Mr.  Jathrop 
Lathrop  flying.  'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  in- 
deed! He'll  find  it's  a  very  dangerous  joke 
27 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

to  go  joking  about  me,  no  matter  how  much 
money  he's  scraped  out  of  the  Klondike.  A 
joke  is  a  thing  as  I  never  stand,  Mrs.  La- 
throp,  and  if  you'd  been  one  as  joked,  you'd 
have  found  that  out  to  your  deep  and  abid- 
ing sorrow  long  ago.  Very  few  people  have 
ever  tried  to  have  any  fun  with  me,  and  I've 
got  even  with  the  most  of  them,  I'm  happy  to 
remark.  I  shall  find  out  yet  who  sent  me 
that  comic  valentine  with  the  man  skipping 
over  the  edge  of  the  world  and  me  after  him 
with  a  net,  and  when  I  do  find  out,  I'll  get 
even  about  that,  too.  Me  with  a  net!  I'd 
like  to  see  myself  skipping  after  any  man 
that  was  skipping  away  from  me.  If  he 
was  skipping  toward  me,  I  wouldn't  marry 
him — not  'nless  I  loved  him.  I  know  that. 
Love  is  a  thing  as  you  can't  raise  and  lower 
just  as  the  fancy  strikes  you.  A  woman 
can't  love  but  once,  and  I've  got  a  kind  of 
warm  bubbling  all  around  my  heart  as  tells 
me  that  I've  loved  that  once  and  that  it  was 
Jathrop.  It's  very  strange,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
but  I've  been  thinking  of  Jathrop  a  great 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

deal  lately.  I  keep  remembering  more  and 
more  how  much  I've  been  thinking  about 
him.  I  suppose  he  was  thinking  of  me,  and 
that's  what  started  me.  'How's  Susan 
Clegg?'  I  can  just  seem  to  hear  Jathrop's 
voice;  Jathrop  had  a  very  strange  voice. 
'How's  Susan  Clegg?' 

"The  mind  is  a  curious  thing,  when  you 
stop  to  consider,  Mrs.  Lathrop.  Mrs. 
Brown  says  Amelia  says  minds  can  commu- 
nicate if  you  know  how.  Mrs.  Brown  says 
if  she  calls  to  Amelia  when  she's  in  the  ham- 
mock and  Amelia  don't  answer,  Amelia  al- 
ways explains  afterwards  as  she  was  com- 
municating. 

"It  all  shows  that  the  mind  is  a  wonderful 
thing.  There  was  Jathrop  and  me  commu- 
nicating regularly,  and  me  so  little  under- 
standing what  it  all  meant  that  I  dreamed  he 
was  a  cat.  I  can't  get  over  that  dream.  I 
wonder  if  that  meant  that  he's  got  whiskers 
now.  If  he's  got  whiskers,  and  he  loves  me, 
he's  got  to  cut  'em  right  straight  off.  You'll 
have  to  speak  to  him  about  that  as  soon  as 
29  ' 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND      . 

you  see  him,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  for  I  won't  be 
able  to,  of  course.  And  you  can  see  for 
yourself  that  I  couldn't  have  whiskers 
around.  You  can't  teach  an  old  dog  new 
tricks,  and  I've  had  no  experience  with  whis- 
kers." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  promised  to  remonstrate 
with  Jathrop  if  he  really  had  whiskers,  and 
after  some  further  conversation  Susan  went 
home  and  to  bed  and  slept  soundly.  In  the 
morning  she  was  up  very  promptly,  and  Mrs. 
Lathrop  saw  her  off  for  the  station. 

The  whole  town  was  at  the  station.  But 
in  front  of  them  all — closest  to  the  track — 
stood  Susan  Clegg. 

It  was  a  breathless  moment  when  Johnny 
ran  out  with  the  flag  and  the  train  stopped. 
Susan  motioned  the  rest  back  with  dignity 
and  stood  her  ground  alone.  The  car  door 
opened,  and  a  stout,  homely  man,  with  eyes 
set  wide  apart  and  a  very  large  mouth,  ap- 
peared on  the  platform.  He  was  well 
dressed  and  carried  an  alligator-skin  travel- 
ing-bag. 

30 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Everybody  gasped.  *  But  it  was  not  his 
appearance  nor  the  alligator-skin  bag  that 
caused  them  to  gasp.  It  was  that  Jathrop 
Lathrop,  returning  after  his  long  absence, 
had  brought  back  a  lady  with  him. 


II 

SUSAN  CLEGG  AND  THE  CHINESE  LADY 

AND  not  merely  a  lady,  but  a  Chinese 
lady  at  that.  A  particularly  chubby, 
solemn,  Chinese  lady,  who  descended  from 
the  train  which  brought  Jathrop  Lathrop 
back  to  his  native  town  after  making  a  for- 
tune in  the  Klondike,  and  meekly  trotted 
along  in  his  wake,  carrying  the  large  valise, 
while  Jathrop  carried  the  small  one. 

Susan  walked  off  straightway  with  Jathrop 
and  the  Chinese  lady,  while  the  town  re- 
mained stock  and  staring  behind.  The  town 
was  frankly  "done  did  up."  That  Jathrop 
might  return  with  a  wife  had  never  once  en- 
tered the  head  of  any  one.  Still  less  had  the 
idea  of  any  one  of  that  community  ever  wed- 
ding a  Chinese  been  entertained.  It  was  a 
32 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

peculiarly  overwhelming  sensation,  and  one 
which  led  Gran'ma  Mullins  to  lean  against 
Hiram,  while  Mrs.  Macy  leaned  against  the 
equally  firm  side-wall  of  the  station  itself. 
It  was  several  seconds  before  people  came  to 
their  senses  enough  to  go  around  by  the  track 
gate  and  look  to  see  how  far  the  bewildering 
party  had  got  on  their  way.  They  were  just 
crossing  the  square. 

"Well,  if  that  doesn't  beat  the  Dutch," 
said  Mr.  Kimball,  and  his  words  seemed  to 
break  the  deadlock;  everybody  scattered 
forthwith,  all  talking  at  once. 

Meanwhile  Jathrop,  arriving  at  his 
mother's  gate,  paused  and  said  quite  eas- 
ily: 

"I'll  go  in  alone,  Susan;  mother  will  like 
the  first  hour  or  so  quite  alone  with  me,  I 
know.  Won't  you  take  Hop  Loo  to  your 
house  for  breakfast?" 

Susan,  who  had  by  no  means  as  yet  recov- 
ered from  the  shock  of  the  Celestial  bride, 
opened  and  shut  her  mouth  once  and  her 
eyes  twice,  and  yielded.  For  the  nonce  she 
33 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

seemed  as  speechless  as  Mrs.  Lathrop  her- 
self. Jathrop's  appealing  ease  of  manner 
had  overawed  her  all  the  way  up  from  the 
station,  and  the  walk  had  been  accomplished 
in  stately  silence.  If  the  Klondike  Prodigal 
had  been  surprised  over  the  alteration  in 
Susan,  he  had  not  said  so,  and  now  he 
quietly  handed  Hop  Loo  his  alligator-skin 
traveling-bag  (or  hers,  whichever  it  was), 
and  passing  in  through  his  mother's  gate, 
shut  it  forthwith  behind  him,  and  went  on 
up  the  walk.  Susan  cast  one  look,  which 
would  have  thrown  a  basilisk  into  everlast- 
ing darkness,  after  him;  and  then,  turning, 
marched  back  to  her  own  gate.  Hop  Loo 
followed,  Susan  opened  her  own  gate  and 
passed  through  it;  Hop  Loo  passed  through 
after  her.  Susan  went  up  her  walk;  Hop 
kept  close  to  her  heels.  Together  they 
mounted  the  steps  and  then  entered  the 
house. 

It  was  all  of  half  an  hour  before  Mrs. 
Macy,  the  first  completely  to  rally  from  the 
shock  at  the  station,  arrived  to  call.    When 
34 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

she  climbed  the  steps  and  rang  the  bell,  Susan 
came  to  the  door  at  once.  She  looked  pecul- 
iarly grim  and  smileless.  It  was  plain  to  be 
seen  at  the  present  moment  that  she  was  not 
pleased  with  the  world  in  general. 

"I  thought  I'd  just  come  up  for  a  little," 
began  Mrs.  Macy,  smiling  enough  for  two  all 
alone  by  herself.  Mrs.  Macy  always  tried 
to  keep  up  her  own  spirits  in  a  laudable  at- 
tempt, possibly,  to  heighten  those  of  others. 
"I  thought  maybe  you'd  be  glad  to  see  a  face 
you  knew." 

This  allusion  to  the  Chinese  lady  was  not 
intended  as  unkindly  as  it  might  have  been 
in  better  society,  Mrs.  Macy  being  wholly 
incapable  of  anything  so  subtle. 

"Sit  down,"  said  Susan,  briefly,  indicating 
a  porch  chair.  "There's  no  use  taking  you 
in;  she's  up-stairs  unpacking,  and  she's  al- 
ready set  about  doing  his  cooking.  It's  plain 
to  be  seen  that  Jathrop  Lathrop  never  come 
all  this  way  from  the  Klondike  to  take  any 
chances  of  being  poisoned  by  me  as  soon 
as  he  got  here.  No,  sir,  Jathrop  Lathrop 
35 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

has  learned  too  many  little  tricks  for 
that." 

Susan's  tone  was  extremely  bitter.  She 
had  removed  the  famous  striped  silk  and  ap- 
plied her  hairbrush  to  both  sides  of  her  head 
after  dipping  it  (the  hairbrush,  not  her 
head)  in  water.  It  was  easy  to  be  seen  that 
the  vanities  of  this  life  had  suddenly  become 
offensive  in  her  nostrils. 

"Do  you  suppose  she's  really  his  wife?" 
asked  Mrs.  Macy,  seating  herself  and  looking 
eagerly  in  her  friend's  face. 

"Oh,  yes,  she's  his  wife,"  said  Susan. 

"Oh,  Susan,"  Mrs.  Macy  went  on,  her  eyes 
becoming  quite  globular  under  the  severe 
stress  of  her  curiosity,  "do  you  suppose  any- 
body married  'em,  or  did  he  just  buy  her  for 
beads?" 

"I  don't  know,"  said  Susan,  rocking 
severely  back  and  forth,  "I  don't  know  a  tall. 
You  must  ask  some  one  wiser  than  me  what 
a  white  man  does  about  a  Chinese  when  he 
wants  her  to  cook  for  him.  You  ought  to 
have  seen  her  in  my  kitchen,  Mrs.  Macy ;  she 

36 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

walked  straight  to  my  rack  of  pans  and  took 
down  just  whatever  she  fancied.  I  never 
saw  the  beat !  No,  nor  nobody  else.  She's 
learned  how  to  be  cool  from  Jathrop  and  the 
North  Pole  together,  looks  to  me.  I  never 
see  such  ways  as  Jathrop  has  picked  up.  He 
never  said  a  word  walking  up — nothing  but 
'Ah'  once.  I  don't  call  'Ah'  once  much  of  a 
conversation  for  the  woman  as  rocked  your 
cradle  and  might  have  married  you,  too — if 
she'd  wanted  to.  For  I  could  have  married 
Jathrop  Lathrop,  Mrs.  Macy;  nobody  but  me 
will  ever  know  what  passed  between  us,  but 
I  could  have  married  him.  I  won't  say  what 
prevented,  but  I  can  tell  you  it  wasn't  him. 
And  he's  lived  to  regret  it,  too.  Just  like 
the  minister  regrets  it.  When  the  minister 
speaks  of  the  treasure  that  layeth  up  in 
heaven,  he  doesn't  mean  no  chicken — he 
means  me." 

Susan  paused  and  shook  her  head  an- 
grily. 

"I  don't  doubt  but  what  he's  sorry,"  said 
Mrs.  Macy;  "maybe  he  married  a  Chinese 
37 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

for  fear  any  other  kind  would  remind  him 
of  you." 

Miss  Clegg  rejected  this  possible  poetic 
view  of  Jathrop's  action  with  a  look  of  great 
disgust  accompanied  by  another  shake  of 
the  head. 

"I  don't  believe  it's  very  often  that  a  man 
ever  marries  some  other  woman  on  account 
of  any  other  woman.  That's  very  pretty  in 
books,  but  books  ain't  life.  Life's  life,  and 
if  Jathrop  Lathrop's  married  that  heathen 
Chinese,  he's  got  very  strange  notions  of  life, 
and  that's  all  I  can  say.  Why,  if  she  didn't 
lug  that  heavy  bag  along  and  walk  a  little 
back,  and  he  never  bothered  to  speak  to  her. 
She's  very  different  from  what  I'd  have  been, 
I  can  tell  you.  You  can  maybe  fancy  me 
carrying  Jathrop  Lathrop's  bag  a  little  be- 
hind Jathrop  Lathrop !  I  think  I  see  myself. 
'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  He'll  soon  find  out 
how  Susan  Clegg  is.  What  do  you  think, 
Mrs.  Macy,  what  do  you  think?  When  we 
came  to  his  mother's  gate,  he  just  stopped, 
said  he  thought  she'd  like  him  alone  best, 

38 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

said  to  me,  'Give  Hop  Loo  some  breakfast, 
will  you?' — and  then  if  my  gentleman  didn't 
walk  through  the  gate  and  shut  it  after  him ! 
Well,  I  never  did.  There  was  me  and  his 
wife  carefully  shut  out  on  the  other  side  of 
the  fence  like  we  was  pigs.  And  then  I  had 
to  bring  her  over  here  and  give  her  father's 
room.  What  would  my  dead  and  gone 
father  say  to  a  Chinese  woman  having  his 
room,  I  wonder !  Father  had  very  fine  feel- 
ings for  a  man  as  got  about  so  little,  and  if 
he  was  alive,  I  don't  believe  no  Jathrop  La- 
throp  would  have  gone  sending  no  heathen 
Chinese  wife  to  live  with  me.  She  won't 
live  with  me  long,  I  can  tell  you  that  to  your 
face,  Mrs.  Macy.  I  took  her  because  I  was 
too  dumb  did  up  over  having  a  gate  shut  in 
my  face  by  Jathrop  Lathrop  to  do  anything 
else,  but  I  ain't  intending  to  have  her  long. 
I've  always  been  for  shutting  the  Chinese 
out,  and  I  ain't  going  back  on  my  principles 
at  my  time  of  life.  No,  indeed.  'How's 
Susan  Clegg?'" 

Susan  paused  angrily.     Her  repetition  of 
39 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

the  deceptive  phrase  in  Jathrop's  letter 
seemed  to  turn  her  boiling  wrath  into  one  of 
still,  white  menace.  She  sat  perfectly  still, 
snapping  her  eyelids  up  and  down,  and 
breathing  hard. 

"I  don't  blame  you  one  mite,  Susan,"  said 
Mrs.  Macy  warmly;  "I  wish  Mrs.  Lupey  was 
here.  She  wanted  to  come,  too,  but  she's 
got  her  bag  to  pack  to  go  home.  She  only 
come  for  one  night,  and  to-night'll  make 
two,  so  she  wants  to  get  packed.  But  she 
knows  all  about  the  Chinese.  Her  husband's 
got  a  cousin  who  is  a  missionary  in  China, 
and  she  could  have  felt  for  you.  The  cous- 
in's got  eleven  Chinese  servants  besides  a 
Bible  class  of  two  as  she's  training  to  be 
missionaries  after  they're  trained.  Mrs. 
Lupey  says  she'd  have  known  what  to  do 
when  that  Chinese  lady  got  off  the  train  this 
morning.  They  don't  let  'em  ride  in  the 
same  cars  in  China." 

Just  here  Jathrop  came  out  of  his  mother's 
front  door  and  walked  down  the  path.  Both 
ladies  were  freshly  shocked  by  the  sight.  At 
40 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  gate  he  turned  in  the  opposite  direction. 
Both  ladies  stared  after  him.  Soon  he  was 
out  of  sight.  Then  they  stared  at  each 
other. 

"Well,  what  is  he  up  to  now?"  Mrs.  Macy 
finally  ejaculated. 

"I  don't  know,"  said  Susan  in  a  tone  of 
complete  despair  as  to  ever  again  gaining 
any  insight  into  the  motives  which  moved 
Jathrop,  "I  d'n  know,  Mrs.  Macy.  Don't 
ask  me  anything  about  Jathrop  Lathrop  after 
he's  gone  home  to  see  his  mother  and  has 
handed  me  over  a  Chinese  wife  to  board. 
He  may  be  gone  up  to  Mrs.  Brown's  to  run 
off  with  Amelia  for  all  I  know.  Nothing  is 
ever  going  to  surprise  me  any  more  after  this 
day.  I  only  know  one  thing,  if  he  does  run 
off  with  Amelia,  that  Chinee'll  find  herself 
and  his  valises  dumped  off  of  my  premises 
pretty  quick.  I  never  was  one  for  false 
feelings,  and  I  should  see  no  call  for  Chris- 
tian charity  toward  a  heathen  who  comes  to 
me  with  two  black  bags  on  her  legs  and  a 
dressing-sack  for  an  overcoat." 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I  wonder  if  Jathrop  likes  her  wearing 
such  clothes,"  said  Mrs.  Macy.  "Everybody 
is  wondering." 

"I  don't  know,"  said  Miss  Clegg,  "men 
are  very  queer.  There's  no  telling  what 
they  are  going  to  fancy  till  they  get  out  of 
the  train  married  to  it.  Think  of  his  having 
the  face  to  write  'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  and 
him  married  to  that  puzzle-blocks  thing  all 
the  time.  I  wonder  what  his  mother  said 
when  he  told  her !" 

"Let's  go  over  and  see  Mrs.  Lathrop!" 
suggested  Mrs.  Macy,  "she's  over  there  alone 
now." 

This  idea  immediately  found  favor  with 
Susan.  "But  I'll  have  to  go  in  and  see  what 
she's  up  to  first,"  she  said.  "If  she's  caught 
a  rat  and  is  making  soup  in  my  teapot  with 
it,  I  shan't  feel  to  enjoy  leaving  her  alone 
with  my  teapot." 

Mrs.  Macy  could  but  feel  the  extreme  jus- 
tice of  this  view,  and  Susan,  whose  counte- 
nance indicated  that  she  was  sorely  beset  by 
misgivings,  went  into  the  house. 
42 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

When  she  came  out,  her  face  wore  a  re- 
lieved expression. 

"She's  all  safe,"  she  said.  "She's  asleep 
on  the  floor.  I  must  say  it's  changed  my 
feelings  toward  her.  It  shows  she  knows 
her  place." 

They  walked  sedately  to  Mrs.  Lathrop's. 
They  climbed  the  back  steps,  and  they 
knocked. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  was  busy  making  prepara- 
tions for  dinner.  She  came  to  the  door 
with  a  promptitude  which,  in  view  of  her 
well-known  habit  of  deliberation,  was  little 
short  of  miraculous. 

"We  came  to  see  how  you  were,"  said 
Mrs.  Macy. 

"Come  in,"  said  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

They  walked  in  and  seated  themselves  on 
two  of  the  wooden-bottomed  kitchen  chairs. 
•  Mrs.  Lathrop  went  on  with  her  work.     She 
was  uncommonly  active,  and  her  face  wore 
a  broad,  unusual  smile.     "Jathrop's  gone  up 
to  the  cemetery,"  she  said.     "He's  going  to 
have  a  monument  put  up  to  his  father." 
43 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"What  do  you  think  of — ?"  interrupted 
Susan. 

"Yes,  we  come  to — "  began  Mrs.  Macy. 

"He's  going,"  continued  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
taking  down  a  plate  and  blowing  the  thick 
dust  from  its  surface,  "to  have  an  awful 
handsome  monument  put  up.  Not  a  animal 
like  you  put  up  to  your  father,  Susan,  but  a 
angel  hanging  to  a  pillar  with  both  hands 
and  feeling  for  a  cloud  with  its  feet. 
He  showed  me  the  picture.  And  he's  go- 
ing to  have  the  parlor  papered  and  give 
the  town  a  watering-trough  for  horses, 
with  a  tin  cup  on  a  chain  for  people,  and 
he's—" 

"Yes,  but — "  interrupted  Susan. 

"You  know,  of  course — "  began  Mrs. 
Macy. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  swept  off  the  top  of  the 
rolling-pin  with  the  stove-brush.  "And  he's 
going  to  build  me  on  a  bedroom  right  off 
the  hall,"  she  continued,  "and  put  a  furnace 
under  the  whole  house.  And  one  of  those 
lamps  that  haul  up  and  down,  and  a  new  set 
44 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

of  kitchen  things,  and  he'll  come  here  every 
year  and  see  if  I  want  anything  else,  and  if 
I  do,  I'm  to  have  it.  I'm  to  have  a  pew  in 
church,  even  if  I  never  do  go  to  church,  and 
a  paper  every  day,  and  his  baby  picture  done 
big,  and  be  fitted  for  new  glasses." 

"But,  Mrs.  Lathrop — "  Susan  interrupted, 
seeing  that  Mrs.  Lathrop  was  surely  still  in 
ignorance  as  to  her  Mongolian  daughter-in- 
law. 

"Yes,  you — "  began  Mrs.  Macy. 

"Liza  Em'ly  is  to  do  all  the  sewing  I 
want,"  went  on  Mrs.  Lathrop,  proceeding 
with  her  baking  preparations  at  a  great  rate, 
"and  Jathrop'll  pay  the  bill.  And  any 
things  I  want,  I'm  just  to  send  for,  and 
Jathrop'll  pay  the  bill;  and  anything  I  can 
think  of  what  I  want  done,  I'm  just  to  say  so, 
and  Jathrop'll  pay  the  bill." 

It  seemed  as  if  Susan  Clegg  would  burst 
at  this.  It  was  plain  now  that  Jathrop 
really  was  rich,  and  here  was  his  mother 
supposing  the  rose  was  utterly  thornless. 

"But  did  he  tell  you  about  his  wife?"  she 
45 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

broke  in  desperately.  "That's  what  I  want 
to  know." 

Mrs.  Lathrop,  who  was  mixing  butter  and 
sugar  together  in  a  yellow  bowl,  stopped 
suddenly  and  stared. 

"His  wife!"  she  said  blankly. 

"Yes,  his  wife,"  repeated  Susan. 

"The  wife  he  brought  back  with  him,"  ex- 
plained Mrs.  Macy. 

"The  wife  he — "  Mrs.  Lathrop  pushed 
the  yellow  bowl  a  little  back  on  the  table  and 
rested  her  hands  on  the  edge.  They  trem- 
bled visibly;  "the  wife  he — "  she  repeated. 

"Surely  you  know  that  he  brought  his 
wife  back  with  him?"  said  Mrs.  Macy. 
"Surely  he's  told  you?" 

Mrs.  Lathrop — turned  her  usual  dumb 
self  again — looked  at  Mrs.  Macy  with  al- 
most unseeing  eyes. 

"I—"  she  ejaculated  faintly,  "no,  he—" 

"Now,  you  see,"  exclaimed  Susan,  half  to 
the  friend  and  half  to  the  stricken  mother, 
"it  don't  make  any  difference  what  a  man 
turns  into  outside,  he  stays  just  the  same  in- 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

side.  What  have  I  always  said  to  you,  Mrs. 
Lathrop?  You  can't  make  no  kind  of  a 
purse  out  of  ears  like  Jathrop's.  Jathrop 
Lathrop  could  turn  into  fifty  millionaires, 
and  he'd  still  be  Jathrop  Lathrop.  He  can 
hang  all  the  angels  he  pleases  and  water  all 
the  horses  from  here  to  Meadville,  and  still 
he  never  could  be  any  other  man  but  just 
himself.  And  being  himself,  he  never  by  no 
manner  of  means  could  be  frank  and  open. 
He  was  always  one  that  held  things  back. 
You  thought  it  was  because  he  didn't  have 
no  brains,  but  you  was  his  mother  and  nat- 
urally looked  on  the  best  side  of  him.  But 
he  never  deceived  me,  Mrs.  Lathrop;  I  saw 
through  Jathrop  right  from  the  start. 
There  was  a  foxiness  about  Jathrop  as  no- 
body never  fully  saw  into  but  me.  That  was 
my  reason  for  never  marrying  him — one  of 
my  many  reasons,  for  his  foxiness  hasn't 
been  the  only  thing  about  Jathrop  that  I've 
seen  through.  I  never  was  one  to  soften  the 
blows  to  a  tempered  lamb,  so  I  will  say  that 
so  many  reasons  for  not  loving  a  man  as 
47 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

I've  seen  in  Jathrop  I  never  see  in  any  other 
man  yet.  But  none  of  my  reasons  for  not 
marrying  him  has  ever  equalled  this  new  rea- 
son as  has  cropped  up  now  in  his  bringing 
home  a  wife.  When  a  man  comes  home 
with  a  wife,  then  you  do  see  through  him 
for  good  and  all,  and  when  Jathrop  come 
scrambling  out  from  between  those  two  cars 
this  morning  with  a  heathen  Chinee  at  his 
heels—" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  screamed  loudly.     "A — " 

"Heathen  Chinee,"  repeated  Susan. 

"You  know  what  a  Chinee  is,  don't  you?" 
interposed  Mrs.  Macy;  "they're  from  China, 
you  know." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  retreated  to  her  rocker  with 
a  totter. 

"Yes,  she's  a  heathen  Chinee,"  said  Susan, 
with  unfailing  firmness,  "the  kindest  heart 
in  the  world  couldn't  mistake  her  for  any- 
thing even  as  high  up  as  a  nigger.  Her 
eyes  cross  just  under  her  nose,  and  she's  got 
her  hair  wound  round  her  head  with  a  piece 
of  black  tape  to  hold  it  on.  She  wears  di- 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

vided  skirts  as  is  most  plainly  divided,  and 
not  a  gore  has  she  got  to  her  name  or  her 
figure.  She  is  a  Chinese  and  no  mistake, 
and  you  may  believe  me  or  not,  just  as  you 
please,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  Jathrop  without  a 
so  much  as  by-your-leave  dumped  her  onto 
me  for  breakfast,  and  she's  asleep  on  father's 
floor  now." 

"On  your — "  gasped  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"No,  on  father's,"  said  Susan,  "and  now, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  see  what  he  is  at  last. 
He  not  only  marries  a  Chinese  when  if  he'd 
been  patient  he  might  have  got  a  white  one, 
but  he  brings  her  home,  and  don't  even  tell 
you  he's  brought  her  home,  or  even  that  he's 
got  her,  or  even  that  he's  married  her,  or 
anything.  A  man  might  line  my  house  with 
furnaces  and  have  his  baby  picture  done  big 
in  every  room,  and  I'd  never  forgive  his  act- 
ing in  such  a  way.  I  never  hear  the  beat. 
It  throws  all  the  other  calamities  as  ever 
come  upon  anybody  in  this  community  clean 
out  of  the  shade.  What  will  be  the  use  of 
your  having  a  pew  in  church ;  you  won't  even 
49 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

be  able  to  face  the  minister  now  with  your 
son's  marrying  one  of  them  as  we  have  to 
give  our  good  money  to  teach  to  wear 
clothes.  What  good  will  your  having  the 
parlor  papered  be  with  everybody  ashamed 
to  go  to  see  a  woman  who  has  got  a  Chinese 
daughter.  To  my  order  of  thinking,  you 
was  better  off  poor.  Why,  they  eat  the 
hen's  nests,  the  Chinese  do,  and  prefer  'em 
to  the  eggs.,  It's  small  wonder  I  dreamed 
Jathrop  was  a  cat,  with  him  descending  on 
us  like  the  wrath  of  heaven  married  to  a 
China  woman.  Jathrop's  no  fool  though, 
and  if  you'd  seen  that  humble  heathen  going 
along  back  of  him  with  his  big  valise,  you'd 
have  to  see  as  the  man  as  picks  out  a  wife 
like  that  never  could  have  been  a  fool.  I 
felt  for  her,  I  really  did,  only  she  was  watch- 
ing me  with  the  wrong  eye  all  the  time,  and 
it  made  me  dizzy  to  try  and  look  at  her 
kindly.  I'll  tell  you  what,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
when  Jathrop  comes  back,  you'll  just  go  for 
him  and  give  it  to  him  good.  Men  must 
learn  as  they  can't  bring  their  Chinese  wives 
50 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

into  this  community.  There's  a  principle 
as  we'd  ought  to  live  up  to  whether  we  enjoy 
it  or  not,  and  it's  all  against  marrying  Chi- 
nese. The  Chinese  are  all  right,  I  hope  and 
trust,  but  nothing  as  feeds  itself  with  a 
toothpick  had  ever  ought  to  be  held  pressed 
to  the  bosom  of  families  like  you  and  me, 
Mrs.  Lathrop.  It  isn't  the  way  we're 
brought  up  to  look  at  them,  and  it's  a  well- 
known  fact  as  no  matter  what  the  leopard 
does  to  the  Ethiopian,  he  sticks  to  his  spot 
just  the  same  as  before — " 

"But—"  broke  in  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I  don't  want  to  hurt  your  feelings,  Mrs. 
Lathrop, — we've  been  friends  too  long  for  me 
not  to  feel  kindly  to  you, — but  Mrs.  Macy  is 
a  witness  to  his  bringing  her,  even  if  I  wasn't 
well  known  to  be  one  as  never  lies.  Mrs. 
Macy  is  a  witness,  too,  to  how  he's  got  her 
dressed,  and  a  more  burning  disgrace  than 
this  keeping  your  chosen  wife  in  loose  over- 
alls and  a  jacket  as  any  monkey  on  a  hand- 
organ  would  weep  to  see  the  fit  of,  I  never 
see.  It  may  be  the  custom  in  the  Klondike 
51 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

and  may  be  convenient  for  sliding,  but  this 
is  no  sliding  community,  and,  to  my  order  of 
thinking,  Jathrop  would  have  showed  you 
more  affection  and  us  more  respect  if  he'd 
bought  his  wife  a  bonnet  and  a  shawl  before 
he  brought  her  here." 

Susan  paused  for  breath.  Mrs.  Lathrop 
continued  speechless.  Mrs.  Macy  tried  to 
lighten  the  atmosphere  by  remarking, 
"Lands,  she's  got  a  pigtail,  too." 

Susan  picked  up  the  cudgels  afresh  at  that. 
"Wound  twice  around  her  head,"  she  said 
bitterly;  "oh,  she  is  a  figure  of  fun  and  no 
mistake.  I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  what  Jathrop 
was  ever  thinking  of  the  day  he  picked 
her  out,  but  this  I  do  know,  and  that  is,  that 
he'd  better  pick  her  off  of  me  pretty  quick. 
You  know,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as  a  friend  is  a 
friend  and  I've  always  been  a  good  friend 
to  you,  but  I  never  was  one  to  stand  any 
nonsense — not  now  and  not  never — and 
when  a  man  writes,  'I'm  rich'  and  'How's 
Susan  Clegg?'  he  gets  me  where  no  Chinese 
wife  ain't  going  to  please  me  in  a  hurry. 
52 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

I'm  glad  Jathrop  is  rich,  on  your  account, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  his  being  rich  don't  alter 
my  views  of  him  a  mite.  I  look  upon  him 
as  a  gray  deceiver,  that's  what  I  look  upon 
him  as,  and  if  he's  brought  a  piece  of  car- 
nelian  or  anything  back  to  me,  you  can  tell 
him  to  give  it  to  his  lawfully  wedded  wife, 
for  I  don't  want  to  have  nothing  more  to  do 
with  him." 

"But,  Susan — "  broke  in  poor  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Don't  interrupt  me,  Mrs.  Lathrop;  I'm 
in  no  mood  to  listen  to  no  one  just  now.  I 
ain't  mad,  but  I'm  hurt.  It's  no  wonder  I 
dreamed  he  was  a  cat,  for  of  all  the  sly, 
back-door  things  a  cat  is  the  meanest.  And 
there  was  always  something  very  cat-like 
about  Jathrop  Lathrop — something  soft  and 
slow  and  creepy — nothing  bold  and  out- 
spoken. I  might  have  known  as  even  if  he 
did  come  home  rich,  he'd  find  a  way  to  even 
it  up.  And  now  look  how  he  has  evened  it 
up.  Think  of  your  grandchildren;  there 
won't  be  one  of  'em  able  to  ever  look  any- 
53 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

body  straight  in  more'n  one  eye  at  once. 
Marrying  Chinese  is  terrible,  anyway — in 
some  States  it's  forbidden.  It's  to  be  hoped 
Jathrop'll  keep  out  of  those  States  or  he 
may  land  in'  the  penitentiary  yet." 

Just  here  the  front  door  slammed,  and 
Jathrop's  voice  was  heard  calling,  "Where 
are  you,  mother?" 

He  didn't  wait  for  an  answer,  but  came 
straight  through  the  kitchen.  Entering 
there,  what  he  saw  startled  him  so  much  that 
he  came  to  a  sudden  halt. 

"We've  been  telling  your — "  began  Mrs. 
Macy. 

" — mother  about  your  wife,"  finished  up 
Susan. 

Jathrop  looked  at  all  three  in  great  aston- 
ishment. "About  my  wife!"  he  repeated. 
"Did  you  say  'my  wife'  ?" 

"Yes,"  said  Susan,  absolutely  undaunted. 
"I  think  it  would  have  been  kinder  in  you  to 
have  broke  it  to  her  yourself;  but  anyhow, 
we've  done  it  now." 

"Oh,  Jathrop,  my  son,  my  son!"  wailed 
54 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

poor  Mrs.  Lathrop  in  heart-wringing  Bibli- 
cal paraphrase. 

"But  I  haven't  got  any  wife,"  said  Ja- 
throp.  "What  under  the  sun  do  you  mean  ?" 

There  was  a  clammy  pause;  Susan  and 
Mrs.  Macy  clasped  hands. 

"What  made  you  think  I  had  one?"  Ja- 
throp  asked,  quite  bewildered.  "Who  said  I 
had  one?" 

Susan  rose  with  dignity  and  coughed. 
Mrs.  Macy  rose,  too,  looking  at  Susan. 
Poor  Mrs.  Lathrop  seemed  fairly  terror- 
stricken. 

"I  think  I'll  go  now,"  said  Susan.  "I 
hope  I  needn't  board  her  much  longer,  that's 
all.  Even  if  she's  only  using  the  floor,  it's 
a  floor  as  has  been  sacred  to  my  dead  father 
up  to  now,  and  a  dead  father  is  not  to  be 
lightly  took  in  vain  by  a  heathen  Chinee." 

"But  what  does  it  all  mean?"  asked  Ja- 
throp,  appearing  genuinely  bewildered.  "I 
don't  understand.  What  are  you  talking 
about?" 

Susan  moved  toward  the  door ;  Mrs.  Macy 
55 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

faltered.  "Maybe  it  was  all  right  in  the 
Klondike,"  she  began,  trying  to  put  a  brace 
under  the  situation. 

"Maybe  what  was  all  right  in  the  Klon- 
dike?" asked  Jathrop. 

"To  buy  her  with  beads." 

"To  buy  who  with  beads?  Who's  her?" 
Jathrop's  voice  was  becoming  exasperated. 

"Hop  Loo,"  said  Susan,  in  a  tone  of  pierc- 
ing scorn,  "the  Chinese  lady  as  you  brought 
with  you  and  gave  me  to  board." 

Jathrop  looked  at  them  all  in  amazement. 
"But  Hop  Loo's  a  boy — my  boy,"  he  said. 

"Your  boy !"  said  Susan. 

"Yes,  my  boy." 

Miss  Clegg  turned  and  gave  him  a  long 
look  fraught  with  disgust,  pity,  and  hopeless 
resignation. 

"Jathrop  Lathrop,"  she  said,  "I  did  sup- 
pose you  had  some  sense  even  in  the  view  of 
all  that's  dead  and  gone,  but  I  guess  now 
I'll  have  to  give  up.  I  did  have  some  respect 
for  you  while  I  thought  she  was  maybe  your 
wife,  but  if  you've  gone  so  clean  crazy  that 

56 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

you  believe  that  that  is  your  boy — well!" 
Susan  thereupon  sailed  out  of  Mrs.  La- 
throp's  house  with  Mrs.  Macy  wobbling  in 
her  wake. 


57 


Ill 

SUSAN    CLEGG   SOLVES   THE   MYSTERY 

SUSAN  CLEGG  and  Mrs.  Macy  walked 
down  to  Mrs.  Lathrop's  gate,  and  out 
of  her  gate  and  to  Miss  Clegg's  gate;  the 
whole  in  a  silence  deadly  and  impressive. 
Mrs.  Macy  paused  there. 

"I  don't  believe  I'll  come  in,"  she  said 
doubtfully. 

"I  don't  blame  you,"  said  Susan,  "I 
wouldn't  if  it  was  me.  Jathrop's  boy,  in- 
deed! What  kind  of  a  man  is  it  as'll  have 
a  Chinese  family  and  go  forcing  them  onto 
the  true  and  long-tried  friends  of  his  one  and 
only  mother !" 

"I  can't  see  why  he  didn't  leave  the  boy 
in  the  Klondike,"  said  Mrs.  Macy  slowly  and 
reflectively.  "I  thought  men  always  left 
their  Chinese  families  just  where  they 

58 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

found  'em.  It's  strange  Jathrop  brought 
him  home  with  him." 

"You  see  now  what  my  dream  meant," 
said  Susan  darkly,  "a  cat,  indeed.  It's  small 
wonder  I  knew  the  cat  was  Jathrop  Lathrop. 
Of  all  the  mean,  sly,  creeping  crea- 
tures that  ever  come  up  against  the  back  of 
your  legs  sudden  a  cat  is  the  worst.  A 
snake  is  open  and  aboveboard  beside  a  cat. 
You  can  see  a  snake.  You  don't  see  'em 
often  around  here,  thank  heaven." 

"Well,  we  haven't  seen  Jathrop  often 
around  here  for  a  long  time,"  said  Mrs. 
Macy,  whose  mind  was  as  given  to  easy  logi- 
cal deduction  as  many  of  her  mental  caliber, 
"and  we  do  see  a  lot  of  cats — you  know  that, 
Susan." 

"  'How's  Susan  Clegg  ?'  "  quoted  Susan  in 
a  tone  of  reflective  wrath.  "I  don't  know 
whether  you  know  it  or  not,  Mrs.  Macy,  but 
Jathrop  asked  after  me  in  his  letter  to  his 
mother,  and  him  with  a  Chinese  wife. 
'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  What  did  he  write 
that  for  if  he  was  married,  I'd  like  to  know." 
59 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"Maybe  he  wanted  to  know  how  you 
were,"  suggested  Mrs.  Macy. 

The  look  she  received  in  recognition  of  this 
offered  explanation  led  to  her  immediately 
proposing  to  go  on  home.  "You've  got  the 
Chinaman  to  look  after,  anyhow,"  she  added. 

"You'd  better  come  in  while  I  go  up  and 
look  at  him  again,"  said  Susan  shortly. 
"It's  a  very  strange  sensation  to  be  alone  in 
your  house  with  what  you  fully  and  freely 
take  to  your  dead  father's  bed  and  board, 
supposing  it's  a  wife,  and  then  find  out  as 
it's  her  son  instead.  Come  on  in." 

Mrs.  Macy  was  easily  persuaded,  and  they 
thereupon  went  up  the  walk.  "I  guess  I'll 
go  see  if  he's  still  asleep,"  Susan  said  when 
they  reached  the  piazza,  and  Mrs.  Macy 
forthwith  sat  down  to  await  what  might 
come  of  it. 

Susan  was  absent  but  a  few  minutes;  she 
returned  with  a  fresh  layer  of  disapproval 
upon  her  face. 

"Is  he  still  sleeping?"  Mrs.  Macy  asked. 

"Yes,  he's  still  sleeping,"  Miss  Clegg  re- 
60 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

plied,  jerking  a  chair  forward  for  herself. 
"You'd  know  he  was  Jathrop  Lathrop's  child 
just  by  the  way  he  sleeps.  You  remember 
what  a  one  Jathrop  always  was  for  sleeping. 
I  don't  know  as  I  remember  Jathrop's  ever 
being  awake  till  he  was  fairly  grown. 
Whatever  you  set  him  at  always  just  made 
him  more  sleepy.  You  know  yourself,  Mrs. 
Macy,  as  he  wouldn't  be  no  grasshopper 
with  Mrs.  Lathrop  for  his  mother,  but  a 
cocoon  is  a  comet  beside  what  Jathrop  La- 
throp always  was.  I  don't  know  whether 
he's  rich  or  not,  but  I  do  know  that  heathen 
Chinee  is  his  son,  and  I  know  it  just  by  the 
way  he  sleeps." 

"And  so  Jathrop's  rich,"  said  Mrs.  Macy, 
rocking  agreeably  to  and  fro,  and  evidently 
striving  toward  more  pleasant  conversation. 

"Yes,"  said  Susan  darkly,  "rich  and  with 
a  Chinese  wife  somewhere.  Just  as  often 
as  I  think  of  Jathrop  Lathrop  writing, 
'How's  Susan  Clegg,'  with  a  Chinese  wife  I 
feel  more  and  more  tempered,  and  I  can't 
conceal  my  feelings.  I  never  was  one  to 
61 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

conceal  anything;  if  I  had  a  Chinese  wife 
the  whole  world  might  know  it." 

Just  here  Gran'ma  Mullins  hove  in  sight, 
coming  slowly  and  laboriously  up  the  street. 

"Why,  there's  Gran'ma  Mullins!"  Mrs. 
Macy  exclaimed.  "She's  surely  coming  to 
see  you,  too." 

Both  ladies  remained  silent,  watching  the 
progress  of  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

Gran'ma  Mullins  arrived  a  good  deal  out 
of  breath.  Susan  brought  a  chair  out  of 
the  house  for  her. 

"I  come  to — tell  you,"  panted  the  new  vis- 
itor as  soon  as  she  had  attained  unto  the 
chair,  "that  Jathrop's — things  is — coming." 

"What  things?"  asked  Susan. 

"They  all  come  on — the  ten  o'clock — from 
the  junction;  Hiram  is  helping  unload." 

"What's  he  brought?"  Susan  asked. 

"Well,  he's  brought  an  automobile,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  "and  a  lot  of  other  trunks 
and  boxes." 

"An  automobile!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Macy, 
"well,  he  is  rich  then !" 
62 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"I  wouldn't  be  too  sure  of  that,"  said 
Susan,  "some  very  poor  folks  is  riding  that 
way  nowadays." 

"And  he  brought  three  trunks  and  seven- 
teen big  wooden  boxes,"  continued  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  "big  boxes." 

"Three  trunks  and  sev-en-teen —  Three 
trunks  and  sev-en — "  Susan's  voice  faded 
into  nothingness. 

"Goodness  knows  what's  in  them,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins.  "Hiram  was  getting  so 
hot  unloading  that  I  wanted  him  to  stop  and 
let  me  fan  him,  but  he  wouldn't  hear  to 
it.  Hiram's  so  brave.  If  he  said  he'd  un- 
load something,  he'd  unload  it  if  he  dropped 
dead  under  it  and  was  smashed  to  noth- 
ing." 

There  was  a  pause  of  unlimited  bewilder- 
ment while  Mrs.  Macy  and  Susan  raised 
Jathrop  upon  the  pedestal  erected  by  his 
three  trunks,  seventeen  boxes  and  the  auto- 
mobile. 

"And  to  think  of  his  having  a  Chinese 
wife,"  Susan  exclaimed,  the  keen  edge  of 

63 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

sorrow  cutting  crossways  through  all  her 
words. 

It  was  just  here  that  Mrs.  Lupey  now  ap- 
peared, approaching  at  a  good  pace.  Mrs. 
Lupey  was  a  large,  imposing  woman  and 
wore  a  silk  dolman  with  fringe.  It  was  im- 
mediately necessary  for  the  party  to  adjourn 
to  the  sitting-room,  as  the  piazza  was 
strictly  limited. 

It  was  Mrs.  Lupey  who  without  loss  of 
time  did  away  with  the  Lathrop  parentage 
of  the  young  Chinese. 

"Why,  he's  his  servant,  of  course,"  she 
said  in  a  lofty  scorn.  "I'm  surprised  you 
didn't  know  that  by  his  age." 

"I  did  think  of  his  age,"  Susan  said,  "but 
I  read  once  in  some  paper  as  the  women  in 
China  get  married  when  they're  four  years 
old,  so  you'd  never  be  able  to  tell  nothing  by 
the  age  of  no  one  there.  Well,  well,  and  so 
she  isn't  his  wife,  nor  yet  his  son.  Well,  I'm 
glad — for  Mrs.  Lathrop's  sake." 

"But  if  Jathrop's  really  got  a  automobile 
and  seventeen  trunks,  he  must  be  awful 

64 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

rich,"  said  Mrs.  Macy.  "It'll  be  a  great 
thing  for  this  town  if  Jathrop's  rich.  He'd 
ought  to  be  very  grateful  to  the  place  where 
his  happy  childhood  memories  run  around 
barefoot." 

"Oh,  he'll  remember,"  said  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins,  "it's  easy  to  remember  when  you've  got 
the  money  to  do  it.  But  I  hope  to  heaven 
he  won't  set  Hiram  off  on  that  track  again. 
Hiram  does  so  want  to  go  away  and  make  a 
fortune;  I'm  worried  for  fear  he  will  all  the 
time.  And  Lucy  wants  him  to,  too.  I  can't 
understand  a  woman  as  wants  a  fortune 
worse  than  she  wants  Hiram.  Lucy  doesn't 
seem  to  want  Hiram  'round  at  all  any  more. 
If  he's  asleep,  she  starts  right  in  making  the 
bed  the  same  as  if  he  wasn't  in  it,  and  if  she's 
sewing,  he  don't  dare  go  within  the  length 
of  her  thread. 

"Life  has  come  to  a  pretty  pass  when  a 
wife'll  run  a  needle  into  a  husband  just  for 
the  simple  pleasure  of  feeling  him  go  away 
when  she  sticks  him."  Gran'ma  Mullins 
sighed. 

65 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I  wonder  what  they're  doing  now !"  Mrs. 
Macy  said. 

All  four  turned  at  this  and  looked  toward 
the  Lathrop  house  together.  It  was  quiet 
as  usual. 

"I  d'n  know  as  it  changes  my  opinion  of 
Jathrop  much,  that  being  his  servant,"  said 
Miss  Clegg  suddenly.  "It's  kind  of  differ- 
ent, his  handing  his  wife  or  his  son  over  to 
me ;  but  his  heathen  Chinee  servant !  I  don't 
know  as  I'm  very  pleased." 

"Pleased!"  said  Mrs.  Lupey.  "Why,  in 
San  Francisco  they  make  'em  live  under- 
ground like  rats." 

"Maybe  that  was  why  you  dreamed  he 
was  a  cat,  Susan?"  suggested  Mrs.  Macy, 
whose  brain  seemed  to  grasp  at  the  subject 
under  consideration  with  special  illumi- 
nation. 

Susan  rose.  "I  think  you'd  better  go," 
she  said  abruptly,  "I've  got  to  get  dinner. 
My  mind's  in  no  state  to  deal  with  all  these 
sides  of  Jathrop  and  his  Chinaman  just 
now." 

66 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

What  the  day  brought  up  the  street  and  in 
and  around  Mrs.  Lathrop's  house  would  take 
too  long  to  catalogue.  Suffice  it  to  say  that 
poor  Mrs.  Lathrop,  who  had  been  for  long 
years  the  veriest  zero  in  the  life  of  the  com- 
munity, became  suddenly  its  center  and 
apex. 

When  Jathrop  went  to  New  York  at  the 
end  of  the  week,  he  left  his  mother  not  only 
sitting,  but  rocking  in  the  lap  of  luxury, 
with  her  head  leaning  back  against  more  lux- 
ury and  her  feet  braced  firmly  on  yet  more 
luxury.  Even  her  friend  over  the  way  was 
rendered  utterly  content. 

And  the  pleasantest  part  of  it  all  was  the 
way  that  it  affected  Susan  Clegg.  As  Susan 
sat  by  Mrs.  Lathrop  and  turned  upon  her 
that  tender  gaze  which  one  old  friend  may 
turn  on  another  old  friend  when -the  latter's 
son  has  suddenly  bloomed  forth  golden,  her 
full  heart  found  utterance  thus : 

"Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop — well,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
I  guess  no  one  will  ever  doubt  anything 
again.  Talk  about  dreams,  now!  I 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

dreamed  Jathrop  was  a  cat,  and  the  reason 
was  that  it's  a  well-known  fact  that  cats 
always  come  back.  Why,  Mrs.  Macy  told 
me  once  how  she  chloroformed  a  cat,  and 
put  it  in  a  flour  sack  with  a  stone,  and  put 
the  sack  in  a  hogshead  of  water,  and  put  the 
cover  on  the  hogshead,  and  put  a  stone — an- 
other stone — on  that,  and  went  to  church  to 
hear  the  minister  preach  on  'Do  unto  others 
as  you  do  unto  others,'  and  when  she  came 
back,  the  cat  was  asleep  on  top  of  the  hogs- 
head, and  Mrs.  Macy  got  the  worst  shock 
she  ever  got.  So  you  can  easy  see  why  I 
dreamed  Jathrop  was  a  cat ;  and  he  did  come 
back. 

"I  declare  that'll  always  be  the  pleasantest 
recollection  of  my  life,  how  I  met  him  at  the 
station  and  how  we  came  chatting  up  the 
street  together.  How  he  has  improved, 
Mrs.  Lathrop — not  but  what  he  was  always 
handsome!  There  was  always  something 
noble  about  Jathrop.  Gran'ma  Mullins  said 
yesterday  as  he  made  her  think  of  a  man  she 
saw  in  a  play  once  as  stood  on  his  crossed 
68 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

legs  in  front  of  a  fire  and  smoked.     So  care- 
less. 

"And  then  his  bringing  Mrs.  Macy  that 
polar-bear  skin!  Mrs.  Macy  says  if  there 
was  one  spot  in  the  whole  wide  world  where 
she  never  expected  to  set  foot  it  was  on  top 
of  a  polar  bear,  and  now  she  can  stand  on 
her  head  on  one  if  the  fancy  takes  her.  I 
saw  the  minister  when  I  was  down  in  the 
square  to-night,  and  he  told  me  not  to  speak 
of  it,  but  he  thought  a  service  of  prayer  for 
any  stocks  and  mines  as  Jathrop  has  would 
be  the  only  fitting  form  of  gratitude  which 
a  reverent  and  affectionate  congregation 
might  offer  to  the  great  and  glorious  gen- 
erosity of  him  who  is  going  to  give  us  a 
steeple  after  all  these  years  of  finishing  flat 
at  the  top.  Mr.  Kimball  came  out  to  tell  me 
to  ask  you  if  you'd  like  some  one  to  come 
regularly  for  your  order,  and  he  says  he'll 
keep  caviare  from  now  on,  just  on  the 
chance  of  Jathrop's  being  here  to  eat  it;  he 
says  why  he  didn't  keep  it  before  was  he 
thought  it  was  a  kind  of  chamois  skin. 

69 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"It's  beautiful  to  see  the  faces  down-town, 
Mrs.  Lathrop ;  you  never  saw  nothing  like  it. 
Everybody's  just  so  happy.  Hiram  is  grin- 
ning from  ear  to  ear  over  being  took  to  the 
Klondike,  and  everybody  is  swore  to  not  let 
Gran'ma  Mullins  know  he's  going.  He's 
going  to  climb  out  of  the  window  at  night 
and  get  away  that  way,  and  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins won't  mind  what  she  feels  when  he 
really  does  come  back  a  millionaire,  too. 
She'll  be  just  like  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop ;  no  one 
minds  anything  once  it's  over.  Little  mis- 
understandings are  easy  forgot. 

"And  to  think  there's  been  a  blue  auto- 
mobile puffing  at  these  very  kitchen  steps! 
To  think  you  and  me  was  over  to  Meadville 
and  back  between  dinner  and  supper  one 
day!  I  guess  Mrs.  Lupey  never  got  such  a 
start.  She'd  been  all  the  morning  getting 
home  on  the  train  and  was  only  just  putting 
her  bonnet  away  in  its  box  when  we  rolled 
up.  I  never  enjoyed  nothing  like  that  roll 
up  in  all  my  life!  I  never  see  automobiles 
from  the  automobile's  side  before,  but  now 
70 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

I  can.  When  a  automobile  goes  over  a 
duck  it  makes  all  the  difference  in  the 
world  whether  it's  your  automobile  or  your 
duck. 

"And  then  Jathrop's  generosity!  Not 
but  what  he  was  always  generous.  Deacon 
White  says  he  will  say  that  for  Jathrop,  he 
was  always  generous.  And  look  what  he 
brought  home.  Every  child  in  town  is  just 
about  out  of  their  senses.  Felicia  Hemans 
is  crazy  about  the  earrings,  and  'Liza  Em'ly 
won't  never  take  off  the  bracelet.  Mr. 
Shores  can't  keep  the  tears  back  when  he 
looks  at  his  watch  charm.  I  think  it  was  so 
kind  of  Jathrop.  But  Jathrop  was  always 
kind ;  you  know  yourself  that  a  kinder  crea- 
ture never  lived  than  Jathrop.  I  always 
said  that  for  him. 

"And  then  his  having  a  new  fence  built 
around  the  cemetery.  It  was  thoughtful, 
and  Judge  Fitch  says  nobody  can't  say  more. 
But  Judge  Fitch  says  Jathrop  was  always 
thoughtful;  he  says  he's  been  interested  in 
him  always  just  for  that  very  reason. 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Judge  Fitch  says  Jathrop's  nature  was  al- 
ways that  deep  kind  that's  easy  overlooked. 
He  says  he'll  have  to  confess  to  his  shame 
that  some  of  the  time  he  overlooked  him 
himself.  He  says  it's  very  difficult  to  under- 
stand a  deep  nature,  because  if  a  deep  na- 
ture don't  make  money,  there's  hardly  any 
way  of  ever  knowing  that  it  really  was  deep ; 
people  just  think  you're  a  fool  then — like  we 
always  thought  Jathrop  was.  You  know, 
nobody  ever  thought  he  ever  could  amount 
to  nothing.  You  know  that  yourself,  Mrs. 
Lathrop.  But  making  money  lets  you  see 
just  what  a  person's  got  in  'em  and  see  it 
plain. 

"I'm  sure  for  all  I've  loved  Jathrop  as  if 
he  was  going  to  be  my  own,  for  years  and 
years  and  years,  still  I  never  credited  him 
with  being  the  man  he  is.  I  supposed  he  was 
a  tramp  somewhere — yes,  I  really  did,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  you  may  believe  me  or  not,  but 
that's  just  what  I  thought  when  I  thought 
anything  at  all  about  him — which  wasn't 
often. 

72 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Everybody  in  the  whole  place  is  busy  re- 
membering pleasant  things  about  him  now. 
The  minister's  wife  remembers  his  coming 
to  a  Christmas  tree  once  a  long  time  ago 
when  they  both  was  little ;  she  says  she  hasn't 
thought  of  it  in  thirty  years,  but  she  remem- 
bers it  as  plain  as  day  now, — he  had  on  a 
coat  and  a  little  tie. 

"And  Gran'ma  Mullins  says  she  never  will 
forget  the  day  before  he  was  born,  for  she 
went  to  town  and  dropped  her  little  bead 
bag,  and  you  know  how  much  she  thinks  of 
her  little  bead  bag  now  when  the  beads  is  all 
worn  off,  so  you  can  think  what  store  she  set 
by  it  when  the  beads  were  still  on,  and  so  she 
was  all  back  and  forth  along  the  road  hunt- 
ing for  it  the  whole  blessed  afternoon,  and 
when  she  found  it  and  went  home,  she  was 
tired,  and  she  slept  late  next  morning  be- 
cause her  husband  was  out  very  late  the 
night  before,  and  when  he  slept  late  she  al- 
ways slept  late,  'cause  she  said  sleeping  late 
was  almost  the  only  treat  he  ever  give  her, 
and,  anyhow,  when  they  did  wake  up  and 
73 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

get  up  and  get  out,  there  was  Jathrop,  and 
she  says  she  shall  never  forget  her  joy  over 
having  found  the  bead  bag  again. 

"Mrs.  Macy  says  she  remembers  the  day 
he  hid,  and  you  thought  he  was  in  the  cis- 
tern, and  you  was  kneeling  down  looking  in 
when  he  jumped  out  from  behind  the  stove 
and  give  you  such  a  start  you  went  in  head 
first. 

"I  remember  that  day  myself,  too — father 
was  insisting  he  was  paralyzed  then,  and 
mother  and  me  wouldn't  take  his  word  for 
it,  and  we  fully  expected  he'd  race  over  and 
help  haul  you  out,  but  all  he  said  was,  'She'll 
have  to  manage  the  best  she  can — I'm  par- 
alyzed,' and  we  really  began  to  believe  him 
from  then  on. 

"The  minister  says  he  shall  always  re- 
member how  well  he  looked  when  he  put  on 
long  trousers;  the  minister's  preparing  a 
little  paper  on  Jathrop  to  read  at  the  Sun- 
day-school annual,  and  he  says  he  shall  be- 
gin with  the  day  he  put  on  long  trousers  and 
then  mark  his  rise  step  by  step.  The  min- 
74 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ister's  so  pleased  over  Jathrop's  patting 
Brunhilde  Susan  on  the  head;  he  says  there 
are  pats  and  pats,  but  that  pat  that  Jathrop 
give  Brunhilde  Susan  was  what  he  calls,  in 
pure  and  Biblical  simplicity,  a  pat." 

Susan  paused.  Mrs.  Lathrop  just  felt 
her  diamond  solitaires,  glanced  at  the  new 
kitchen  range,  and  was  silent. 

"And  then,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that  dear 
blessed  little  Chinese  angel — I  tell  you  I 
shall  never  forget  that  boy.  I  liked  his  face 
when  I  first  laid  eyes  on  him,  and  when  I 
thought  he  was  Jathrop's  lawful  wife,  I 
loved  him  as  I'd  loved  even  a  Chinaman  if 
he  was  your  daughter;  but  when  I  saw  him 
cleaning  up  my  sink,  polishing  my  pans, 
washing  out  my  cupboards  and  all  that,  just 
the  same  as  yours,  then  was  when  I  see  that 
a  heathen  Chinee  has  just  the  same  right  to 
go  to  heaven  that  anybody  else  has,  and  from 
then  on  I  just  trusted  him  completely  and 
let  him  do  every  bit  of  the  work  till  he 
left. 

"I  see  now  why  everybody's  so  happy  be- 
75 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ing  a  missionary  if  you  can  just  get  away 
and  live  with  the  Chinee.  I'd  have  kept  that 
boy  if  Jathrop  hadn't  wanted  him — I'd  have 
been  very  glad  to;  and  it's  awful  to  think 
we're  keeping  quiet,  lovable  natures  like  his 
from  settling  here.  A  girl  might  do  much 
worse  than  marry  that  Chinese — very  much 
worse.  A  very  great  deal  worse.  Though 
I  suppose  many  would  hesitate." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  rose,  went  to  the  cupboard, 
took  out  a  bottle  of  homemade  gooseberry 
wine,  poured  out  a  little,  and  took  a  sip.  She 
did  not  offer  any  to  Susan. 

"It'll  do  you  good,"  said  Susan  encourag- 
ingly. "I  don't  like  the  taste  myself,  but 
it'll  do  you  good.  Besides,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
you  must  begin  to  get  used  to  it.  When 
you  go  around  with  Jathrop  in  his  private 
car,  you'll  have  to  drink  wine,  and  if  I  was 
you,  I'd  stop  tying  a  stocking  around  your 
neck  nights,  for  you'll  have  to  wear  a  very 
different  cut  of  gowns  soon.  If  Jathrop 
buys  that  yacht  he's  gone  to  look  at,  you'll 
have  to  wear  a  sailor  blouse." 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Oh,"  said  Mrs.  Lathrop  faintly,  "oh, 
Susan,  I — "  Miss  Clegg  put  her  hastily 
back  into  her  chair. 

"Never  mind  if  it  does  make  your  head  go 
'round  a  little,  Mrs.  Lathrop ;  you  must  learn 
how.  It  may  be  hard,  but  it'll  make  Jathrop 
happy,  and  now  he's  come  back  rich,  that's 
what  everybody  wants  to  do. 

"Mrs.  Brown  says  next  time  he  comes 
she's  going  to  make  him  a  jet-black  pound- 
cake, and  Mrs.  Allen  says  she's  going  to 
work  him  a  pincushion.  She  says  it'll  be  a 
plain,  simple  token  of  affection,  but  those 
whom  Fortune  smiles  on  soon  learn  to  know 
the  true  worth  of  a  simple  gift  of  purest  love. 
She  says  no  one  has  ever  known  how  she 
loved  Jathrop,  'cause  she  kept  it  to  herself 
for  fear  you'd  think  she  was  after  him  for 
Polly." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  rocked  dreamily. 

Susan  rose  to  go. 

"Don't — "  said  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I  must,"  said  Susan.  "Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
think  of  his  giving  me  those  fifty  shares 
77 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

of  stock  just  on  account  of  my  long-suffer- 
ing friendship  for  you.  I  declare  he's  a 
great  character — that's  all  I  can  say. 

"I  always  had  a  feeling  he'd  end  in  some 
unusual  way;  when  they  started  to  lynch 
him,  I  thought  that  was  the  way,  but  now  I 
see  that  this  was  the  Vay,  and  I  thank 
heaven  that  I  wasn't  right  the  other  time 
and  am  right  this  time.  For  human  nature 
is  human  nature,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  people 
are  always  kinder  to  a  woman  whose  son 
comes  home  from  the  Klondike  a  million- 
aire than  they  are  if  they  had  the  bother  of 
lynching  him,  no  matter  how  much  he  may 
have  deserved  it." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  continued  to  finger  her  soli- 
taire earrings  in  happy  silence.  Miss  Clegg, 
who  never  exhibited  any  tenderness  toward 
anything,  went  over  and  arranged  the  fold- 
over  of  her  friend's  gold-embroidered,  silk- 
quilted  kimono. 

"I'll  be  glad  when  your  new  hair  gets  here, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  said  tenderly,  "it'll  make 
a  different  woman  of  you.  It's  astonishing 

78 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

what  a  little  extra  hair  can  do ;  I  always  feel 
that  when  I  put  on  my  wave. 

"You  and  me  will  have  to  be  getting  used 
to  all  kinds  of  new  things  now.  And  that 
beautiful  dream  of  mine  letting  us  know  he 
was  coming.  Mrs.  Brown  says  Amelia  says 
the  Egyptians  worshiped  cats  and  used  to 
pickle  them  when  they  died. 

"It's  astonishing  how,  if  you  know 
enough,  you  can  see  how  any  dream  is  full 
of  meaning.  There's  Jathrop  so  fond  of 
pickles,  and  you  and  me  worshiping  him. 
And  he  writing  in  every  letter  he  has  time  to 
get  somebody  to  write  for  him,  'How's  Susan 
Clegg?'" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  lapsed  into  beatific  slumber. 
Susan  Clegg  went  quietly  home. 


IV 

SUSAN    CLEGG   AND   THE  OLIVE   BRANCH 

IT  was  not  in  reason  to  suppose  that  the  re- 
turn of  Jathrop  Lathrop  should  continue 
to  occupy  wholly  the  attention  of  the  com- 
munity. Each  week — even  each  day — 
brought  its  fresh  interests.  Not  the  least 
exciting  of  the  provocative  elements  was 
borne  back  from  the  metropolis  to  which 
'Liza  Em'ly,  that  hitherto  negatively  re- 
garded olive  branch  of  the  ministerial  fam- 
ily, had  but  recently  emigrated.  'Liza 
Em'ly,  it  was  whispered  one  day,  had  writ- 
ten a  book. 

The  Sewing  Society,  at  its  next  meeting, 
discussed  it,  as  a  matter  of  course;  and 
Susan  Clegg,  equally  as  a  matter  of  course, 
promptly  reported  the  proceedings  to  her 
friend  and  neighbor,  Mrs.  Lathrop. 
80 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Well,"  she  began,  sitting  down  with  the 
heavy  thump  of  one  who  is  completely  and 
utterly  overcome,  "I  give  up.  It's  beyond 
me.  I  was  to  the  Sewing  Society,  and  it's 
beyond  them  all,  too.  The  idea  of  'Liza 
Em'ly's  writing  a  book!  No  one  can  see 
how  she  ever  come  to  think  as  she  could 
write  a  book.  No  one  can  see  where  she 
got  any  ideas  to  put  in  a  book.  I  don't 
know  what  any  one  thought  she  would 
do  when  she  set  out  for  the  city  to 
earn  her  own  living,  but  there  wasn't 
a  soul  in  town  as  expected  her  to  do  it, 
let  alone  writing  a  book,  too.  I  can't  see 
whatever  gives  any  one  the  idea  of  earning 
their  living  by  writing  books.  Books  always 
seem  so  sort  of  unnecessary  to  me,  anyway 
— I  ain't  read  one  myself  in  years.  No  one 
in  this  community  ever  does  read,  'and  that's 
what  makes  everybody  so  surprised  over 
'Liza  Em'ly,  after  living  among  us  so  long 
and  so  steady,  starting  up  all  of  a  sudden 
and  doing  anything  like  this.  And  what 
makes  it  all  the  more  surprising  is  she  never 
81 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

said  a  word  about  it  either — never  wrote 
home  to  the  family  or  told  a  living  soul. 
And  so  you  can  maybe  imagine  the  shock  to 
the  minister  when  he  got  word  as  his  own 
flesh  and  blood  daughter  had  not  only  writ- 
ten a  book  but  got  it  all  printed  without  con- 
sulting him.  His  wife  says  he  was  com- 
pletely done  up  and  could  hardly  speak  for 
quite  a  little  while,  and  later  when  the  news- 
paper clippings  begin  to  come,  he  had  to  go 
to  bed  and  have  a  salt-water  cloth  over  his 
eyes.  I  tell  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  the  minister 
is  a  very  sensitive  nature;  it's  no  light  thing 
to  a  sensitive  nature  to  get  a  shock  like  a 
daughter's  writing  a  book." 

"Is—"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Well,  I  should  say  that  it  was,"  said  Miss 
Clegg.  "I  should  say  that  it  was.  And  not 
only  is  it  being  advertised,  but  people  are 
buying  it  just  like  mad,  the  papers  say.  The 
minister  is  still  more  upset  over  that;  seems 
the  responsibilities  of  even  being  connected 
with  books  nowadays  is  no  light  thing. 
There  was  that  man  as  was  shot  for  what 
82 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

he  wrote  in  a  book  the  other  day,  you  know, 
and  the  minister's  wife  says  as  the  minister 
is  most  nervous  over  what  may  be  in  the 
book;  she  says  he  says  very  few  books  as 
everybody  is  reading  ought  to  be  read,  and 
he  knows  what  he's  talking  about,  for  he's  a 
great  reader  himself.  Why,  his  wife  says 
he's  got  books  hid  all  over  the  house,  and 
she  says — -speaking  confidentially — as  he 
says  most  of  'em  he's  really  very  sorry  he's 
read — after  he's  finished  'em.  She  says — 
he  says  he'll  know  no  peace  night  or  day 
now  until  he's  read  'Liza  Em'ly's  book.  I 
guess  it's  no  wonder  that  he's  nervous. 
'Liza  Em'ly's  been  a  handful  for  years,  and 
since  she  fell  in  love  with  Elijah,  there's 
been  just  no  managing  her  a  tall.  If  Eli- 
jah'd  loved  her,  of  course  it  would  have  been 
different,  but  Elijah  wasn't  a  energetic  na- 
ture, and  'Liza  Em'ly  was,  and  when  a  ener- 
getic nature  loves  a  man  like  Elijah,  there's 
just  no  knowing  where  they  will  end  up.  I 
never  see  why  Elijah  didn't  love  'Liza  Em'ly, 
but  her  grandmother's  nose  has  always  been 

83 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

against  her,  and  he  told  me  himself  as  it  was 
all  he  could  think  of  when  he  sat  quietly  down 
to  think  about  her.  But  all  that's  neither 
here  nor  there,  for  it's  a  far  cry  from  a  girl's 
nose  to  her  brains  nowadays,  thank  heavens, 
and  'Liza  Em'ly's  got  something  to  balance 
her  now.  Polly  White  has  sent  for  one  of 
the  books.  She  says  she'll  lend  it  around,  no 
matter  what's  in  it.  Polly  says  there's  one 
good  thing  in  getting  married,  and  that  is  it 
makes  you  a  married  woman,  and  being  a 
married  woman  lets  you  read  all  kinds  of 
books.  I  guess  Polly's  been  a  great  reader 
since  she  was  married.  She's  meant  to  get 
some  good  out  of  that  situation,  and  she's 
done  it.  The  deacon  isn't  so  badly  off, 
either.  I  wouldn't  say  that  he's  glad  he's 
married  all  the  time,  but  I  guess  some  of 
the  time  he  don't  mind,  and  it's  about  all 
married  people  ask  if  only  some  of  the  time 
they  can  feel  to  not  be  sorry.  A  little  let-up 
is  a  great  relief." 

"You — "  said  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  I  know,"  said  Miss  Clegg,  "but  I 
84 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

pick  up  a  good  deal  from  others,  and  there's 
a  feeling  as  married  women  have  when  they 
talk  to  a  woman  as  they  suppose  can't  pos- 
sibly know  anything  just  'cause  she  never 
got  into  any  of  their  troubles,  as  makes  them 
show  forth  the  truth  very  plainly.  I  won't 
say  as  married  women  strike  me  more  and 
more  as  fools,  for  it  wouldn't  be  kindly,  but 
I  will  say  as  the  way  they  revel  in  being  mar- 
ried and  saying  how  hard  it  is,  kind  of  strikes 
me  as  amusing.  /  wouldn't  go  into  a  store 
and  buy  a  dress  and  then,  when  every  one 
knew  as  I  picked  it  out  myself,  keep  running 
around  telling  how  it  didn't  fit  and  was  tear- 
ing out  in  all  the  seams — but  that's  about 
what  most  of  this  marriage  talk  comes  to. 
I  do  wonder  what  'Liza  Em'ly  has  said  about 
marriage  in  Deacon  Tooker  Talks.  That's 
a  very  funny  name  for  a  book,  I  think  my- 
self, but  that's  what  she's  named  it.  And  as 
it  seems  to  be  about  most  everything,  I  sup- 
pose it  must  be  about  marriage,  too.  Of 
course  'Liza  Em'ly's  so  wild  to  marry  Elijah 
that  everybody  knows  that  that  was  what 

85 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

took  her  up  to  town.  She  didn't  want  to 
earn  her  living  any  more  than  any  girl  does. 
Nobody  ever  really  aches  to  earn  their  liv- 
ing. But  some  has  to,  and  some  wants  to 
be  around  with  men,  and  there  ain't  no  bet- 
ter way  to  be  around  with  men  nowadays 
than  to  go  to  work  with  'em.  You  have  'em 
all  day  long  then,  and  pretty  soon  you  have 
'em  all  the  time.  'Liza  Em'ly  wants  to  have 
Elijah  all  the  time." 

"What — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Oh,  she  says  she  thinks  they're  so  con- 
genial; she  told  me  herself  as  Elijah  'under- 
stood.' It  seems  to  be  a  great  thing  to  un- 
derstand nowadays.  It's  another  of  those 
things  we  used  to  take  for  granted  but  which 
is  now  got  new  and  uncommon  and  most 
remarkable.  She  told  me  when  she  and 
Elijah  watched  the  sun  setting  together,  they 
both  understood,  and  she  seemed  to  feel  that 
that  was  a  safe  basis  on  which  to  set  out  for 
town  and  start  in  to  earn  her  own  living. 
The  minister  didn't  want  her  to  go.  He  was 
very  much  against  it.  It  cost  such  a  lot, 
86 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

too.  The  minister's  wife  said  it  would  have 
been  ever  so  much  cheaper  to  fix  a  girl  to  get 
married.  You  can  get  married  with  six 
pairs  of  new  stockings,  the  minister's  wife 
says,  and  it  takes  a  whole  dozen  with  the 
heels  run  to  earn  your  living.  The  minis- 
ter's wife  was  very  confidential  with  me 
about  it  all,  and  'Liza  Em'ly  confided  con- 
siderably in  me,  too.  They  both  knew  I'd 
never  tell.  Every  one.  always  confides  in  me 
because  they  know  I  never  tell.  Why,  the 
things  folks  in  this  community  have  told  me ! 
Well ! — But  I  never  tell.  The  real  reason  I 
never  tell  is  because  they  always  tell  every 
one  themselves  before  I  can  get  around,  but 
then  a  confiding  nature  is  always  telling  its 
affairs,  and  so  you  can't  really  blame  "em. 
I  never  tell  my  awn  affairs,  because  I've 
learned  as  affairs  is  like  love  letters,  and  if 
they're  interesting  enough,  it  is  very  risky. 
But  really,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  I  must  be  going 
now,  and  as  soon  as  I  get  hold  of  that  book, 
I'll  be  over  with  my  opinion.  Deacon 
Tooker  Talks!  My,  but  that  is  a  funny 

87 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

name  for  a  book!  I  can't  see  myself  what 
kind  of  a  book  it  can  possibly  be  with 
that  title — but  anyway,  we  shall  soon  know 
now." 

"Yes,  we — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  indeed,"  said  Susan,  and  the  seance 
broke  up  for  that  day. 

It  was  resumed  the  day  after,  and  the  day 
after  that,  but  no  further  progress  having 
been  made  in  the  development  of  'Liza 
Em'ly's  affairs,  that  interesting  topic  re- 
mained in  abeyance  until  after  the  next  meet- 
ing of  the  Sewing  Society,  when  the  subject 
was  put  forward  with  emphasis. 

"You  never  hear  the  beat,"  said  the  lady 
who  nearly  always  went  to  the  Sewing  Soci- 
ety to  the  lady  who  hadn't  been  there  for 
years;  "this  book  of  'Liza  Em'ly's  seems  to 
be  something  just  beyond  belief.  Polly  read 
it  all  aloud  to  us  to-day,  and  I  must  say  it's 
a  most  astonishing  book.  I  will  tell  you  in 
confidence,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as  I  ain't  sur- 
prised that  the  minister  hid  his  copy  and  that 
the  newspapers  is  all  printing  things  about  it. 
88 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Seems  it's  a  man  in  bed  talking  to  his  wife 
who  is  asleep  most  of  the  time,  only  he  don't 
pay  the  slightest  attention  to  her  not  paying 
the  slightest  attention.  Polly  had  the  name 
right,  it  is  Deacon  Tooker  Talks  (which  is 
a  most  singular  name  to  my  order  of  think- 
ing). The  cover  has  got  a  picture  of  the 
deacon's  head  on  a  pillow  talking,  and  you 
can  think  how  the  minister  would  feel  over 
his  daughter's  book's  cover  having  a  pillow 
on  it!  I  walked  home  with  Mrs.  Fisher, 
and  she  will  have  it  that  'Liza  Em'ly's  put 
her  father  into  the  book,  soul  and  body. 
There's  a  man  called  Mr.  Lexicon  as  is  a 
lawyer  in  the  book,  and  Mrs.  Fisher  says  it's 
the  minister.  I  wouldn't  swear  as  it  wasn't 
the  minister  myself,  but  I  hate  to  believe  it, 
for  a  girl  as'll  put  her  father  in  a  book  would 
be  equal  to  most  anything,  I  should  suppose. 
But  Mrs.  Fisher's  sure  it's  the  minister ;  she 
says  she  knew  him  right  off  by  his  ear-muffs. 
Only  'Liza  Em'ly  has  disguised  the  ear-muffs 
by  calling  them  overshoes.  Mr.  Lexicon  has 
always  got  on  his  overshoes.  Mrs.  Fisher 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

waited  until  we  got  away  from  all  the  rest, 
and  then  she  showed  me  a  review  from  a  New 
York  paper  that  just  took  my  breath  away. 
It  says  no  such  book  has  appeared  before  a 
welcoming  public  in  two  hundred  and  fifty 
years,  and  she's  going  to  write  the  paper  and 
ask  what  the  book  two  hundred  and  fifty 
years  ago  was  about.  Mrs.  Fisher  says 
she's  thinking  very  seriously  of  writing  a 
book  herself.  She  says  she's  always  wanted 
to  write  a  book,  and  now  she  thinks  she'll  go 
up  to  town  and  see  'Liza  Em'ly  and  ask  her 
about  their  writing  a  book  together.  She 
says  she'll  furnish  all  the  story,  and  'Liza 
Em'ly  can  write  the  book.  Then  they'll 
divide  the  money  even.  And  there'll  be 
money  to  divide,  too,  for  'Liza  Em'ly's  book 
is  surely  selling.  Mrs.  Macy  come  up  after 
Mrs.  Fisher  went  home,  and  she  had  a  piece 
out  of  another  newspaper  that  Mrs.  Lupey 
sent  her,  saying  the  book  was  in  its  ninth  edi- 
tion already.  She  had  it  with  her  at  the 
Sewing  Society,  but  she  didn't  bring  it  out, 
out  of  consideration  for  the  feelings  of  the 
90 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

minister's  wife.  Mrs.  Macy  says  she  thinks 
she'll  write  a  book,  too.  She's  got  the  same 
idea  as  Mrs.  Fisher  about  writing  it  with 
'Liza  Em'ly,  only  she  says  she'll  let  'Liza 
Em'ly  use  some  of  her  own  ideas  mixed  in 
with  Mrs.  Macy's  ideas,  and  she  can  have 
two  thirds  of  the  money.  She  says  it  can't 
be  hard  to  write  a  book,  or  'Liza  Em'ly 
couldn't  never  have  done  it,  but  she  says  'Liza 
Em'ly  has  got  the  Fishers  in  her  book,  and 
she's  surprised  Mrs.  Fisher  didn't  recognize 
'em  at  the  Sewing  Society.  'Liza  Em'ly 
calls  'em  the  Hunters.  Fishers,  hunters — 
you  see !  An'  John  Bunyan  she  calls  Martin 
Luther,  an'  in  place  of  being  a  genius,  she 
covered  that  all  up  by  making  him  a  painter. 
Laws,  Mrs.  Macy  says  writing  a  book's  easy. 
She  says  that  book  of  'Liza  Em'ly's  is  really 
too  flat  for  words,  and  what  makes  people 
buy  it,  she  can't  see.  Well,  7  shan't  buy  a 
copy,  I  know  that.  I  ain't  knowed  'Liza 
Em'ly  all  my  life  to  go  doing  things  like  that 
now." 

With  which  very  common  view  as  to  the 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

works  produced  by  our  intimate  friends,  Miss 
Clegg  rose  to  take  her  departure. 

"Did — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop,  when  they 
next  met. 

"No — I  asked,  but  not  a  soul  knew.  We 
haven't  got  any  man  in  town  as  it  could  pos- 
sibly be.  They  was  all  discussing  it,  too. 
Mrs.  Macy  and  Mrs.  Fisher  is  really  going  to 
town  to  see  'Liza  Em'ly  and  take  up  their 
ideas  to  talk  over.  Mrs.  Macy  is  putting  her 
ideas  down  on  a  piece  of  paper,  so  as  to  be 
sure  she  has  'em  with  her.  Mrs.  Fisher's 
keeping  hers  in  her  head,  for  she  says  if  she 
lost  them,  anybody  might  write  her  book. 
They  think  they'll  go  Tuesday.  I  hope  they 
will,  'cause  if  they  do,  they'll  come  straight 
from  the  train  and  tell  me,  and  then  I'll  come 
straight  over  and  tell  you." 

With  which  amicable  arrangement  Miss 
Clegg  again  took  her  departure. 

It  was  quite  two  weeks  before  affairs 
shaped  themselves  for  Mrs.  Macy  and  Mrs. 
Fisher  to  go  to  the  city  on  their  literary  er- 
rand, but  they  managed  it  at  last,  and  you 
92 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

may  be  very  sure  that  Mrs.  Lathrop  peeked 
eagerly  and  earnestly  out  of  her  window 
many  times  the  afternoon  after  their  jour- 
ney. They  came  up  to  call  upon  Miss  Clegg 
and  narrate  their  adventures  quite  accord- 
ing to  their  usual  friendly  ideals,  and  directly 
they  took  their  leave  that  good  lady  hied 
herself  rapidly  to  Mrs.  Lathrop  to  tell  the 
tale. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  met  her  at  the  door  and  both 
sank  into  chairs  immediately. 

"Well,  what—"  said  the  older  lady  then, 
and  her  younger  friend  rejoined  promptly: 

"Perfectly  dumfounding;  nothing  like  it 
was  ever  knowed  before  or  ever  will  be 
again." 

"Wha—  ?"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"They're  both  completely  paralyzed.  Mrs. 
Fisher  can't  say  a  word,  and  Mrs.  Macy  can't 
keep  still." 

"Wha — ?"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  again. 

Miss  Clegg  drew  a  sharp  breath.  "They 
went  to  see  'Liza  Em'ly,  an'  they  saw  her. 
My  goodness  heavens,  I  should  think  they 
93 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

did  see  her.  Mrs.  Macy  says  if  any  one 
ever  supposed  as  the  Hanging  Gardens  of 
Babylon  was  any  wonder,  they'd  ought  to  go 
to  the  city  an'  see  'Liza  Em'ly,  and  the  Hang- 
ing Gardens  would  keep  their  mouths  shut 
forever  after." 

"Wha — ?"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  for  the 
third  time. 

But  Miss  Clegg  was  now  quite  ready  to 
discharge  her  full  duty.  "Seems  'Liza 
Em'ly's  book  went  into  the  twentieth  edition 
yesterday,"  she  said,  opening  her  eyes  and 
mouth  with  great  expressiveness.  'They 
knew  that  before  they  got  there,  for  you  can 
believe  Mrs.  Macy  or  not,  just  as  you  please, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  there  were  actually  sign- 
boards saying  so  stuck  up  all  along  in  the 
fields  as  the  train  went  by.  The  train-boy 
had  the  books  for  sale  on  the  train,  too,  and 
kept  dropping  'em  on  top  of  'em  all  the  way, 
but  they  didn't  mind  that,  for  Mrs.  Fisher 
read  her  book  as  fast  as  she  could  until  he 
picked  it  up  again,  and  she  read  to  good  pur- 
pose, for  this  afternoon  she  asked  for  a  glass 
94 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

of  water,  and  while  I  was  out  with  her  in  the 
kitchen  getting  it,  she  told  me  there  isn't  a 
mite  of  doubt  but  Mrs.  Macy  is  in  the  book, 
and  Doctor  Carter  of  Meadville  is  in  right 
along  with  her.  Mrs.  Fisher  says  'Liza 
Em'ly  has  called  her  Miss  Grace  and  him 
Doctor  Wagner  of  Lemonadetown,  but  she 
says  she  knew  'em  instantly  by  the  descrip- 
tion of  how  they  was  in  love ;  she  says  you'd 
recognize  how  they  was  in  love  right  off.  I 
must  say,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as  I  think  'Liza 
Em'ly  ought  to  be  very  careful  what  she 
writes  about  real  people  if  you  can  tell  'em 
as  quick  as  that;  but  anyway,  they  got  to 
town  and  took  a  street  car,  and  then,  lo  and 
behold,  if  their  first  little  surprise  wasn't  the 
finding  as  'Liza  Em'ly  has  stopped  living 
where  she  lives  and  gone  to  live  in  a  hotel, 
so  they  had  to  go  to  the  hotel,  too,  and  when 
they  got  there,  what  do  you  think? — If  'Liza 
Em'ly  wasn't  giving  a  reception  to  celebrate 
the  twentieth  edition !" 

"Wh—  ?"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  indeed,"  continued  Miss  Clegg,  "cer- 
95 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

tainly — yes,  I  should  say  so,  too.  If  they 
didn't  get  a  fine  shock  over  'Liza  Em'ly  and 
her  hotel  and  her  reception  and  the  whole 
thing,  Mrs.  Macy  says  she'll  never  know 
what  a  shock  is  when  she  sees  it.  Seems 
they  was  shoved  into  one  end  of  a  elevator 
without  so  much  as  by  your  leave  and  out  the 
other  end  before  they'd  caught  their  breath, 
and  then  they  found  themselves  in  a  room 
with  flowers  all  tied  up  in  banners,  and 
Elijah,  with  his  hair  parted  in  the  middle, 
passing  cups  of  tea  which  a  lady,  with  her 
muff  on  her  head,  was  pouring  out,  while 
'Liza  Em'ly  sat  on  a  table  swinging  her  feet 
in  shoes  she  never  bought  in  this  town,  Mrs. 
Macy '11  take  her  Bible  oath,  and  a  dress  that 
trained  on  the  floor  even  from  the  table." 

"My  heavens  alive !"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Oh,  that  isn't  anything,"  said  Susan,  "just 
you  wait.  Well,  and  so  Mrs.  Macy  says  you 
can  maybe  imagine  their  feelings  when  they 
found  their  two  perfectly  respectable  and  well 
brought  up  selves  in  the  middle  of  such  a  kind 
of  a  party !  One  man  and  one  girl  was  under 

96 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  piano  playing  cat's  cradle,  while  another 
man  was  doing  a  sum  on  the  wallpaper  with 
a  hatpin.  Mrs.  Macy  says  she  wouldn't  have 
been  surprised  at  nothing  after  that,  you'd 
think,  but  she  says  when  it  comes  to  'Liza 
Em'ly  nowadays,  you  don't  know  even  what 
you're  thinkin',  for  you'd  suppose  '"Liza. 
Em'ly  would  at  least  have  looked  ashamed  of 
her  feet  and  her  train.  Instead  of  that,  she 
just  clapped  her  hands  and  said,  'Hello,  home- 
folks,'  which  nearly  sent  Mrs.  Fisher  over 
backwards.  Elijah  saw  them  then,  and  he 
had  the  good  manners  to  drop  a  teacup,  but 
even  he  didn't  look  anywhere  near  as  used  up 
as  in  Mrs.  Macy's  opinion  a  man  away  from 
business  with  his  hair  parted  in  the  middle 
in  the  middle  of  the  afternoon  had  ought  to 
look.  He  gave  them  chairs  though,  and  they 
set  down  between  a  young  lady  as  was  smok- 
ing a  cigarette  and  another  as  was  very  care- 
fully powdering  herself  in  a  little  mirror  set 
in  her  pocketbook.  Just  then  there  was  a 
noise  like  a  awful  crash  and  a  hailstorm,  and 
after  they'd  both  jumped  and  Mrs.  Macy 
97 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

come  near  dislocating  her  hip,  they  see  that 
a  man  was  beginning  on  the  piano.  Well, 
Mrs.  Macy  says  such  piano-playing  her  one 
hope  is  as  she  may  be  going  to  be  spared  here- 
after ;  she  says  he'd  skitter  up  the  piano  with 
both  hands,  and  then  he'd  bang  his  way  back 
to  where  he  belonged,  and  every  time  he  hit 
the  very  bottom,  he'd  give  his  head  a  flop  and 
jerk  down  another  lot  of  hair  over  his  eyes. 
Mrs.  Macy  says  she  never  see  a  man  with  so 
much  loose  hair  where  he  could  manage  it, 
for  he  kept  getting  down  more  and  more  till 
he  looked  like  a  cocoanut  and  nothing  else,  so 
help  Mrs.  Macy,  and  then,  when  he  was  com- 
pletely hid,  he  hit  the  piano  four  cracks  and 
folded  his  arms  and  was  done." 

"Mercy  on — !"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I  should  say  so,"  continued  Miss  Clegg, 
"and  Mrs.  Macy  says  everybody  clapped  like 
mad,  and  then  'Liza  Em'ly  come  to  earth  and 
went  and  threw  her  arms  around  his  neck, 
which  to  Mrs.  Macy's  order  of  thinking, 
didn't  look  much  like  she  was  going  to  marry 
Elijah.  And  then,  before  they  could  shake 

98 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

hands  or  say  good-by  or  do  a  thing,  a  boy 
came  in  with  a  lot  of  telegrams  on  a  tray,  and 
while  'Liza  Em'ly  was  fixing  half  a  spectacle 
in  one  eye  to  read  'em,  a  young  lady  dressed 
in  snakeskins,  and  very  little  else,  jumped 
into  the  room  right  over  the  backs  of  their 
two  chairs  in  a  most  totally  unlooked-for 
way,  and  then  began  to  spin  about  and 
wriggle  here  and  there  and  in  and  out  gen- 
erally, and  Mrs.  Fisher  got  up  and  said  they 
really  must  go,  and  Elijah  showed  'em  to  the 
door  with  the  lady  in  snakeskins  making  fig- 
ure eights  around  them  all  three  and  'Liza 
Em'ly  throwing  a  rose  at  them  and  kissing 
her  hand  till  somehow  they  got  into  the  hall. 
They  walked  down  flights  of  stairs  then  till 
they  thought  there  never  would  be  a  bottom 
anywhere,  and  then  they  looked  at  each  other, 
and  after  a  while  they  got  where  they  could 
speak,  and  then  they  came  home." 

"Well,  wha— ?"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Me,  too,"  said  Susan,  "I  think  it's  awful! 
And  the  worst  of  it  is  for  her  to  be  the  min- 
ister's daughter.  Think  of  it !  They  bought 
99 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

a  paper  as  had  her  picture  on  it  and  a  account 
of  the  reception  as  they'd  just  been  at.  It 
said  Herr  Schnitzel  Beerstein  played,  so  they 
know  his  name  now,  and  Madame  Kalouka 
S-k-z-o-h  danced,  so  when  it  comes  to  her 
name,  they  ain't  much  better  off  than  they 
were  before.  Wherever  they  looked  they 
see  posters  of  Deacon  Tooker  Talks,. and  peo- 
ple in  the  cars  was  all  discussing  the  book. 
Two  ministers  is  going  to  take  it  for  a  text 
to-morrow,  and  the  candy  stores  has  all  got 
little  candy  boxes  like  beds  with  a  chocolate 
drop  for  Deacon  Tooker  and  a  gum-drop  for 
his  wife." 

"Well,  wha— "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I  don't  know,"  said  Miss  Clegg.  "The 
book's  made  right  out  of  this  community, 
and  since  I've  read  it  myself,  I  can  see  who 
every  one  is  except  Deacon  Tooker.  I  can't 
see  who  Deacon  Tooker  is,  for  we  haven't 
got  anybody  like  him.  He's  talking  the 
whole  time;  in  fact,  the  book  is  all  what  he 
says  about  everything,  and  all  his  wife  ever 
does  is  to  wake  up  when  he  shakes  her  and 
100 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

then  go  to  sleep  again.  The  idea's  very  re- 
markable of  a  man  laying  awake  chattering 
to  himself  all  night  long,  but  I  never  heard 
of  any  such  person  here.  Our  only  deacon  is 
Deacon  White,  and  he  never  talks  a  tall." 

"I  wonder  if  the  min — "  began  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"No,  I  don't  believe  so,"  said  Miss  Clegg. 
"My  goodness,  suppose  he  did  and  hit  some- 
thing like  they  did!  No,  I  hope  he  won't 
ever  think  of  it,  and  as  for  'Liza  Em'ly,  I 
hope  she'll  remember  her  married  father  and 
mother  soon  and  remember  her  quiet  and  lov- 
ing home,  too,  before  she  gets  in  the  habit 
of  having  parties  like  that  very  often.  My 
gracious,  think  of  going  to  call  on  a  girl  as 
you  see  christened  and  having  a  snake-lady 
gartering  her  way  up  your  leg  while  you 
were  trying  to  say  good-by  and  get  away 
alive.  Mrs.  Macy  says  the  creature  was  div- 
ing here  and  wriggling  there  and  slipping 
under  tables  and  over  chairs  in  a  way  as 
made  your  flesh  go  creeping  right  after  her. 
Well,  it's  clear  'Liza  Em'ly's  started  on  a 
101 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

most  singular  career.  Mrs.  Macy  says  first 
they  give  her  a  sandwich  with  a  bow  of  rib- 
bon on  it,  and  she  swallowed  the  ribbon ;  and 
then  they  give  her  a  piece  out  of  a  cake  that 
they  said  had  a  lucky  quarter  in  it,  and  she's 
almost  sure  she  swallowed  the  quarter,  so 
maybe  she  was  prejudiced." 

"Well,  I — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"They  felt  the  same  way,"  said  Miss 
Clegg;  "they've  come  home  very  much  used 
up.  Mrs.  Macy  says  you  can  talk  to  her 
about  the  days  of  ancient  Rome  and  the  way 
folks  act  underground  in  Paris,  but  she  says 
she  knows  positively  as  what  she  and  Mrs. 
Fisher  saw  with  their  own  eyes  in  'Liza 
Em'ly's  sitting-room  beat  all  those  kind  of 
little  circuses  hollow.  Mrs.  Macy  says  she's 
seen  enough  of  what  they  call  high  life  now 
to  last  her  till  she  dies  of  shame.  She  says 
the  only  bright  spot  in  the  whole  thing  is  as 
'Liza  Em'ly's  nose  isn't  anywhere  near  as 
prominent  as  you'd  think  any  more,  and  she's 
got  a  automobile  and  is  going  to  Europe  when 
the  book  goes  into  its  fiftieth  edition." 
1 02 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Well— I—"  mused  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  and  I  will,  too,"  said  Miss  Clegg. 
"I'll  go  straight  home  and  do  it.  I'm  awful 
tired.  And  it  bothers  me  more  than  I  like  to 
own  not  knowing  who  Deacon  Tooker  is. 
You  know  my  nature,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  al- 
though I  was  never  one  to  try  to  find  out 
things  nor  to  talk  about  'em  after  I've  man- 
aged to  find  'em  out,  still  I  never  was  one  to 
like  not  to  know  things,  and  I  must  say  I  do 
want  to  know  who  Deacon  Tooker  is.  Well, 
they  say  all  things  comes  to  him  who  waits, 
so  I  think  I  won't  stop  here  any  longer. 
Good-by,  and  when  I  do  find  out,  you  can 
count  on  my  coming  right  over  to  tell  you." 

"Goo — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

But  Miss  Clegg  had  shut  the  door  after 
her. 


103 


V 

SUSAN  CLEGG'S  "IMPROVEMENTS" 

THERE  was  nothing  small  or  mean  or 
economical  about  Jathrop  Lathrop,  now 
that  he  had  turned  out  rich.  He  was  the 
soul  of  generosity,  the  epitome  of  liberality, 
the  concentrated  essence  of  filial  devotion  as 
expressed  in  checks  and  carte-blanche  orders 
directed  at  his  mother. 

One  of  his  earliest  kind  thoughts  was 
to  have  Mrs.  Lathrop's  home  completely 
modernized,  and  as  Susan  Clegg  lived  next 
door  and  was  his  mother's  best  and  dearest 
friend,  he  decided  to  build  her  house  over, 
too. 

To  that  end  he  hunted  up  the  highest-priced 
architect  of  whom  he  could  hear  and  asked  to 
have  designs  submitted  forthwith.  The  high- 
est-priced architect  readily  undertook  the  re- 
104 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

construction  of  the  Lathrop  and  Clegg  domi- 
ciles, but  being  too  occupied  to  go  down  into 
the  country  and  look  over  the  field  person- 
ally, he  delegated  one  of  his  youngest  and 
most  promising  assistants  to  accomplish  the 
task,  and  the  young  and  promising  assistant 
forthwith  packed  his  dress-suit  case  and  set 
off. 

He  was  an  assistant  of  most  extraordinary 
youth  and  almost  unbelievable  promise,  and 
he  saw  a  chance  to  plan  colleges  (endowed  by 
J.  Lathrop,  Esq.),  palaces  (to  be  built  for 
Lathrop,  the  millionaire),  possibly  to  be  com- 
missioned with  the  overseeing  of  the  artistic 
development  of  some  new,  up-springing  city 
(Lathropville,  Alaska,  or  something  of  that 
sort),  if  he  should  only  succeed  in  at  once 
accomplishing  a  close  union  of  feeling  with 
the  golden  offspring  of  our  old  friend.  His 
first  really  rich  client  is  to  a  young  debutant 
in  bricks  just  what  a  well-hung  picture  is  to 
the  budding  artist,  or  a  song  before  royalty 
is  to  a  singer.  Such  being  the  well-known 
facts  of  life  the  young  and  promising  assist- 
105 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ant  fully  intended  to  do  himself  proud  in  the 
reconstruction  of  the  two  houses  consigned 
by  Jathrop's  benevolence  to  his  tender  mer- 
cies. 

The  young  architect  came  to  town  and 
went  to  the  hotel  (at  Jathrop's  expense). 
He  spent  the  next  ten  days  in  going  twice 
each  day  to  study  his  task,  sketch  its  realities 
and  idealities,  and  also  make  the  acquaint- 
ance of  Mrs.  Lathrop  and  Susan  Clegg,  for 
he  was  a  young  man  of  new  and  novel  ideas, 
and  one  of  his  newest  and  most  novel  ideas 
was  to  build  a  house  which  would  really  suit 
those  who  were  to  live  in  it.  He  was  so 
young  that  he  had  no  conception  as  to  how 
this  was  to  be  done,  nor  the  faintest  inkling 
as  to  what  a  Titanic-crossed-with-Prome- 
thean  undertaking  it  would  be  to  do,  if  even 
he  did  know  how;  but  he  felt — and  most 
truly — that  it  was  a  new  view  of  the  rela- 
tion between  house  and  builder,  and  he  felt 
proud  over  having  thought  it  out  for  himself 
as  well  as  for  all  time  to  come.  Then  he  had 
another  novel  idea — not  so  altogether  his 
1 06 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

own,  however — which  was  that  a  house 
should  "express  its  dweller."  This  latter 
idea  was  quite  beyond  the  grasp  of  his  pres- 
ent audience  and  just  a  little  beyond  his  own 
grasp,  too,  but  he  was  brave  and  conscien- 
tious and  didn't  see  it  that  way  at  all. 

It  has  taken  some  time  to  lay  out  all  these 
premises,  but  if  there  is  any  one  with  whom 
one  can  desire  close  acquaintance  it  is  surely 
the  man  who  comes  to  build  over  a  com- 
fortable and  in-most-ways-satisfactory  home 
of  long  years'  standing,  so  I  trust  that  the 
minutes  have  not  been  altogether  wasted. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  and  Miss  Clegg  received  the 
young  man  and  his  mission  in  such  states  of 
mind  as  were  entirely  compatible  with  their 
individual  outlook  over  life. 

"I  must  say  I'm  far  from  altogether  liking 
him,"  Susan  said  to  her  friend,  a  very  real 
note  of  disapproval  in  her  voice,  one  day  to- 
ward the  end  of  the  week.  Mrs.  Lathrop 
was  rocking  in  her  new  old-gold-plush  sta- 
tionary rocker  and  listened  as  usual  with  in- 
terest. "He's  on  the  woodpile  now,  drawing 
107 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

a  three-quarter  profile  of  the  woodshed. 
The  way  he  perches  anywhere  and  then  goes 
to  work  and  draws  anything  would  surely 
make  an  English  snail  pull  his  castle  right 
into  his  house  along  with  him,  for  I've  got  a 
feeling  as  there's  nothing  about  me  as  he 
hasn't  got  in  his  book  by  this  time,  and 
there's  many  things  he's  drawn  as  I  never 
would  choose  to  have  the  world  in  general 
looking  over.  I'm  sure  I  don't  want  no  view 
of  my  woodshed  going  down  to  posterity 
for  one  thing.  I've  had  to  have  a  woodshed, 
but  I've  never  admired  it,  and  the  way  I've 
nailed  anything  handy  over  holes  in  it  is  far 
from  my  usual  way  of  mending.  You've  al- 
ways mended  'hit  or  miss,'  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and 
after  years  of  such  doings  as  was  more 
worthy  a  poorhouse  than  a  Christian,  heaven 
has  seen  fit  to  reward  your  patching  with  a 
son  fresh  from  the  Klondike,  but  I've  always 
darned  blue  with  blue  and  brown  with  brown, 
and  the  only  spot  in  my  whole  life  that  I 
haven't  carefully  and  neatly  matched  the 
stripes  in  is  my  woodshed,  and  now  to-day 
108 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

when  I  was  thinking  very  seriously  of  using 
it  up  for  the  kitchen-stove  next  winter,  if 
there  isn't  a  young  man  from  New  York  out 
drawing  it  in  black  and  white,  and  ten  to  one 
he'll  print  it  in  some  unexpected  Sunday 
paper  marked  7atnr°P  Lathrop's  mother's 
friend  Susan  Clegg's  woodshed !'  That'll  be 
a  pretty  kettle  of  fish,  and  you  needn't  tell  me 
that  there  won't  be  somebody  to  perk  up  and 
say,  'No  smoke  without  some  fire,'  which  will 
be  as  good  as  throwing  it  in  my  teeth  that  I'm 
one  of  those  as  use  a  safety  pin  when  a  but- 
ton's off,  when  it's  a  thing  as  I've  never  done 
and  never  would  do  even  if  there  is  a  proverb 
that  a  pin's  a  pin  for  all  that." 

Susan  paused  here  and  looked  upon  her 
friend  in  serious  question.  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
however,  merely  continued  to  rock  pleas- 
antly. A  change  had  come  over  the  spirit 
of  her  rocking  since  the  return  of  Jathrop. 
She  had  rocked  for  years  with  a  more  or  less 
apologetic  air,  as  if  she  knew  that  there  were 
those  who  might  criticize  her  action  and  yet 
she  couldn't  personally  feel  that  she  really 
109 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ought  to  give  it  up.  But  now  she  rocked  with 
a  wide,  free  swing  as  if  life  was  life  and  if 
she  liked  to  rock,  she  was  going  to  rock,  and 
if  there  were  those  who  objected,  they  could 
object — she  didn't  care.  There  is  nothing 
that  so  quickly  develops  an  independent 
standpoint  as  the  possession  of  money ;  there 
is  nothing  that  so  fully  produces  a  convic- 
tion that  one  is  thoroughly  justified  in  doing 
just  exactly  what  one  pleases ;  there  is  noth- 
ing that  leads  to  quite  the  same  lofty  in- 
difference as  to  whether  what  pleases 
one  pleases  or  displeases  all  the  rest  of  the 
world. 

We  have  but  to  look  at  Jathrop  to  see  that 
this  is  true.  Of  all  the  tame,  mild-eyed,  list- 
less young  individuals,  Jathrop  was  the 
worst,  falling  asleep  on  an  average  of  three 
times  an  afternoon  in  school,  and  never  keep- 
ing conscious  a  whole  evening.  Whether  a 
sudden  change  in  Jathrop's  character  was  the 
cause  of  making  him  a  financial  power  or 
whether  his  Klondike-acquired  bank  account 
was  the  cause  -of  his  awakening,  it  still  is  a 
no 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

fact  that  now  in  his  quiet  way  he  was  a  very 
live  person. 

Jathrop  was  indifferent  to  a  degree,  also, 
as  witness  his  appearance  with  his  Chinese 
boy  whom  everybody  took  to  be  his  wife  with 
his  great  baggy  trousers  and  pig-tail  that  no 
respectable  boy,  Chinese  or  otherwise,  should 
wear.  Of  course,  it  must  be  acceded  that 
Jathrop  was  indifferent  in  that  case  from 
ignorance.  He  did  not  know  what  the  world 
was  saying. 

Perhaps  that  accounts  for  the  lofty  atti- 
tude, one  might  say  lofty  altitude,  of  so  many 
of  our  millionaires.  They  are  so  far  re- 
moved from  the  world  that  their  ears  cannot 
hear  what  is  being  said.  People  talk  in 
whispers  about  the  "very  rich,"  which  makes 
it  doubly  hard  for  them  to  hear,  or  hearing, 
to  think  that  it  matters  very  much,  else  peo- 
ple would  shout.  However,  when  all  is  said, 
money  does  make  a  difference. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  had  been  a  silent,  sat-upon, 
unaggressively-rocking  person  for  years; 
now  Jathrop  had  come  back  from  the  Klon- 
III 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

dike  and  altered  all  that ;  it  was  not  that  she 
had  turned  talkative,  it  was  not  that  she  had 
so  far  altered  the  very  foundations  of  her  be- 
ing as  to  presume  ever  to  try  to  contradict 
any  other  body's  opinions,  but  the  return  of 
Jathrop  and  the  wealth  of  Jathrop  had  found 
expression  in  his  mother  through  the  one 
medium  of  almost  all  expression  with  her. 
Mrs.  Lathrop  had  ceased  to  concern  herself 
as  to  the  length  or  the  vigor  of  her  rocking. 
It  was  beautiful  to  see  the  energy  of  inde- 
pendence with  which  she  went  back  and 
forth,  bringing  her  feet  down  with  an  audi- 
ble clap  whenever  she  desired  fresh  impetus. 

Susan  Clegg  did  not  seem  to  sympathize. 
Instead,  sitting  on  her  straight  chair  oppo- 
site, she  shook  her  head  severely,  further  dis- 
content making  itself  visible  in  the  manner 
of  her  shake. 

But  Mrs.  Lathrop  was  proof  against  all 
manifestations  of  disapproval  now.  She 
flew  back  and  forth  in  the  old-gold-plush  sta- 
tionary rocker  like  the  happy  pendulum  of 
some  beatific  clock.  Jathrop  was  home. 
112 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Jathrop  was  rich.     Jathrop  would  buy  her 
anything  she  wanted. 

"I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  Su- 
san went  on,  the  discontent  ringing  some- 
what more  distinctly  in  her  tone,  "as  I'm 
much  taken  with  this  idea  of  building  us  over, 
even  if  Jathrop  does  mean  it  kindly.  I  know 
there's  a  many  as  would  nigh  to  go  out  of 
their  senses  at  the  very  idea  of  being  made 
over  new  for  nothing,  but  I  was  never  one 
to  go  out  of  my  senses  easy,  and  that  young 
man  on  the  woodpile  doesn't  give  me  any 
kind  of  secure  feeling  as  to  what  he'll  make 
out  of  my  house.  He  looks  to  me  like  the 
kind  of  young  man  as  will  open  doors  square 
across  windows  where  the  knob'll  smash  the 
glass  sure  if  you're  trying  to  carry  a  bureau 
out  at  the  time  of  the  house-cleaning.  The 
kind  of  cravats  he's  got  looks  to  me  like  his 
chimneys  would  be  very  likely  not  to  draw, 
and  their  color  gives-me  a  feeling  that  dough- 
nuts in  his  house  will  smell  in  shut-up  closets 
a  week  after  the  frying.  You  know  what 
shut-up  fryings  is  like  after  they've  had  no 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

fresh  air  for  a  week,  but  I  wasn't  raised  that 
way.  When  I  have  fish  I  have  fish  and  done 
with  it,  and  when  I  have  onions  I  have 
onions,  and  I  ain't  very  wild  over  maybe 
boarding  my  fish  and  my  onions  in  my  best 
bonnet  henceforth  and  forever. 

"Mrs.  Brown  was  telling  me  yesterday  as 
she  heard  of  some  city  woman  as  had  a  sys- 
tem of  ventilation  put  into  her  house,  and  the 
rats  and  mice  used  it  so  freely  that  you 
couldn't  sleep  nights.  They  nested  in  it,  and 
they  fought  in  it,  and  they  died  in  it,  all  as 
happy  and  gay  as  you  please,  and  the  family 
had  to  have  it  picked  out  of  the  walls  in  the 
end  and  all  new  paper  put  on.  That's  the 
kind  of  ideas  young  men  call  modern  im- 
provements, and  that  young  man  on  the 
woodpile  is  about  as  modern  and  improving 
as  they  make  'em,  I  take  it. 

"I  can't  say  what  it  is  about  that  young 
man  that  I  don't  like,  but,  being  as  I'm  always 
frank  and  open  with  you,  I  will  remark  that 
so  far  I  ain't  found  one  thing  about  him  as  I 
do  like.  He's  been  down  cellar  hammering 
114 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

on  the  wall  wherever  the  wind  blew  him  to 
listeth  to  hammer,  and  I  had  to  sit  up-stairs 
and  listen  without  no  chance  to  blow  myself. 
I  caught  him  down  on  all  fours  this  morning 
peeking  under  my  front  porch,  and  he  didn't 
even  have  the  manners  to  blush.  As  to  the 
way  he  makes  free  with  the  outside  of  your 
house,  I  wouldn't  waste  breath  with  trying 
to  tell  you,  but  my  own  feeling  is  that  an 
architect  learns  his  trade  on  a  tight-rope  to 
judge  from  that  young  man's  manner,  and 
from  what  I've  seen  while  he  was  swinging 
by  one  arm  from  your  premises,  I  wouldn't 
feel  safe  to  take  a  bath  even  on  top  of  a  chim- 
ney, myself." 

Susan  rose  at  this  and  went  to  the  window 
and  looked  out;  from  her  expression  as  she 
turned,  it  was  plain  to  be  seen  that  the  artist 
was  still  at  his  task. 

"I  don't  know,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  said, 
coming  back  to  her  seat,  "I  d'n  know,  I'm 
sure,  as  I'm  took  with  this  idea  a  tall.  I 
never  was  one  for  favors  either  given  or 
asked,  and  although  I  know  this  isn't  no 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

favor,  but  just  a  evidence  of  what  I've  been 
through  with  you  first  and  last,  still  it's  done 
in  spite  of  me  and  I've  got  no  feeling  that  I'm 
going  to  enjoy  it.  There's  something  about 
kindness  as  is  always  most  trying  to  the  peo- 
ple who've  got  no  choice  but  to  stand  up  and 
be  tried.  People  who  get  freely  given  to  is 
in  the  habit  of  getting  what  they  don't  want 
and  can't  use,  but  I  ain't.  I'm  very  far  from 
it.  There's  nothing  in  me  that's  going  to  be 
pleased  with  getting  a  green  hat  when  I 
needed  a  pink  coat — no,  sir. 

"And  I  don't  need  nothing.  Or  if  I  do,  I 
can  buy  it.  I  know  Jathrop  means  it  kindly, 
but  Jathrop  can't  enter  into  my  ways  of 
thinking.  Jathrop  is  looking  into  life  from 
the  Klondike  gold-fields  and  I'm  looking  at 
it  from  my  back  stoop.  That  young  man 
was  out  swishing  his  pocket  handkerchief 
about  and  sucking  his  thumb  and  holding  it 
up  all  yesterday  afternoon,  and  about  the 
time  I'd  made  up  my  mind  to  bolt  him  out 
of  the  kitchen  for  a  lunatic,  he  come  in  and 
told  me  he  really  thought  there  was  wind 
116 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

enough  in  your  back  yard  and  my  back  yard 
together  to  run  a  windmill,  in  which  case  a 
water  system  could  be  easy  inaugurated.  I 
told  him  I  didn't  know  you  could  inaugurate 
anything  but  a  president,  but  he  said  any- 
thing as  you  hadn't  had  before  and  thought 
was  going  to  work  fine  and  be  a  great  im- 
provement could  be  inaugurated.  I  told  him 
I  supposed  I  could  stand  a  windmill  if  you 
could. 

"What  do  you  think — what  do  you  think, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  if  that  young  man  didn't  ask 
if  he  might  go  and  look  up  the  parlor  fire- 
place !  Well,  I  told  him  he  could,  and  I  give 
him  a  newspaper  to  shake  his  head  on  after 
he  was  done  looking,  too.  He's  been  in  my 
garret  until  I  bet  he  knows  every  trunk  label 
by  heart,  and  I  must  say  I  feel  as  if  I'd  have 
very  little  of  my  own  affairs  to  tell  on  Judg- 
ment Day  if  he  gets  dressed  and  out  of  his 
grave  quicker  than  I  get  dressed  and  out  of 
mine.  But  that  isn't  all,  whatever  you  may 
think.  There's  a  many  other  things  about 
him  as  I  don't  like  and  don't  like  a  tall. 
117 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"For  one  thing,  he's  got  a  way  of  looking 
around  as  if  it  was  my  house  that  was  the 
main  thing  and  I  was  the  last  and  smallest 
piece  of  cross-paper  tied  in  the  kite's  tail. 
To  my  order  of  thinking,  that's  a  far  from 
polite  way  for  a  young  man  as  Jathrop's 
hiring  and  boarding  to  look  on  a  woman 
whose  house  he  may  thank  his  lucky  stars  if 
he  may  get  the  chance  to  build  over.  Mrs. 
Macy  says  Mrs.  Lupey  says  architects  is  all 
like  that,  but  I'm  far  from  seeing  why.  I 
don't  consider  that  young  man  superior  a 
tall.  I  consider  his  brains  as  very  far  from 
being  equal  to  my  own.  When  he  asks  me  to 
hold  the  other  end  of  his  tape-line  and  does 
it  just  as  if  a  pin  would  do  as  well,  only  I  was 
handier  at  the  moment,  I'm  very  far  from 
feeling  flattered.  I  never  saw  just  such  a 
young  man  before,  and  when  I  think  of  be- 
ing delivered  up  to  him — house  and  all — for 
the  summer,  I'm  also  very  far  from  feeling 
easy.  I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  what  will  be  the 
end  of  this,  but  I  do  know  that  it  looks  to  me 
like  a  pretty  bad  business." 
118 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Susan  paused  again  and  looked  at  her 
friend,  but  Mrs.  Lathrop  just  rocked  onward. 
Life  had  widened  so  tremendously  for  her 
that  she  couldn't  possibly  be  perturbed  in  any 
way  or  by  anything.  If  the  roof  fell  in, 
Jathrop  would  buy  her  another,  and  if  she 
were  smashed  by  it,  Jathrop  would  have  her 
put  together  again.  Why  worry? 

The  young  man  remained  ten  days  in  all, 
and  when  his  visit  of  investigation  was  com- 
pleted, he  returned  to  New  York.  Jathrop 
took  him  to  the  Lotus  Club  to  wash  and  to 
the  Yacht  Club  to  lunch  and  to  Claremont 
in  the  afternoon  (in  his  motor),  and  they 
talked  it  all  over.  The  young  man  had  his 
sketches,  ideas,  ideals,  and  plans  all  tied  into 
a  neat  patent  cover  with  cost-estimates  lightly 
glued  in  the  back.  Jathrop  was  deeply  inter- 
ested, and  the  young  man  expounded  the  in- 
most soul  of  all  his  measurements  and  pro- 
posed altitudes  and  alterations.  The  young 
man  reminded  Jathrop  of  his  pertinent  hy- 
pothesis that  a  house  should  express  its 
owner.  Jathrop's  own  view  of  "express" 
119 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

was  that  if  you  could  pay  the  bill,  it  beat 
freighting  all  out  of  sight,  but  he  felt  that 
perhaps  the  young  man  meant  something  dif- 
ferent, so  he  merely  gave  him  a  cigar. 

The  young  man  took  the  cigar  and  pro- 
ceeded to  elucidate  his  hypothesis  by  explain- 
ing that,  having  carefully  studied  both  Mrs. 
Lathrop  and  Miss  Clegg,  he  should  suggest 
that  Miss  Clegg's  house  express  her  by  being 
severely  Doric  and  that  Mrs.  Lathrop's 
should  be  rambling  and  Queen  Anne  with 
wide,  free  floor  spaces.  He  further  sug- 
gested a  hyena-headed  door-knocker  for 
Miss  Clegg  and  an  electric  button  to  press, 
so  that  the  door  opened  of  itself  for  Mrs. 
Lathrop.  Also  a  roofless  pergola  to  connect 
the  two  houses.  Jathrop  liked  all  his  ideas 
and  sketches  very  much,  but  as  he  was  really 
good-hearted  and  had  not  the  least  desire  to 
present  green  hats  to  those  who  wanted  pink 
coats,  he  had  the  whole  book  sent  down  to  his 
mother  and  begged  her  to  carefully  inspect  it 
in  company  with  Susan  Clegg.  They  in- 
spected it. 

120 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Well,"  said  Susan,  "all  I  can  say  is  I'll 
have  to  carry  this  book  home  and  sit  down 
and  try  and  make  out  what  he  does  mean. 
He's  done  it  very  neat,  that  I  will  say,  but 
between  crosses  and  dotted  lines  and  your 
house  behind  mine  like  two  Roman  emperors 
on  a  cameo  pin,  I  can't  make  head  or  tail  of 
what's  going  to  be  done  to  either  of  us.  I 
can't  even  find  my  own  house  in  this  plan  on 
some  pages,  and  as  for  this  bird-cage  walk 
that  I'm  supposed  to  run  back  and  forth  in 
like  a  polar  bear  in  a  circus  all  day  long,  my 
own  opinion  is  that  if  it's  got  no  roof,  it's  go- 
ing to  be  very  hard  indeed  about  the  snow  in 
winter,  for  I'll  have  to  carry  every  single 
solitary  shovelful  to  one  end  or  the  other  so 
as  to  throw  it  out  of  either  your  kitchen  win- 
dow or  mine.  That's  all  the  good  that  will 
do  us." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  swung  to  and  fro,  totally  un- 
concerned. No  sort  of  proposition  could  dis- 
concert her  now.  If  the  house  when  built 
over  proved  a  failure,  Jathrop  would  build 
her  another. 

121 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Susan  took  the  prettily-bound  portfolio 
home  with  her  and  spent  the  evening  over  it. 
She  studied  it  profoundly  and  to  some  pur- 
pose, for  the  next  morning  when  she  brought 
it  back  to  Mrs.  Lathrop,  it  held  but  few 
secrets,  other  than  those  of  a  purely  technical 
character,  for  her. 

"I've  been  all  through  it,"  she  said  to  her 
friend,  "and  now  I  can't  really  tell  what  I 
think  a  tall.  But  this  I  do  know,  if  we  ever 
really  get  these  houses,  I  will  be  running  back 
and  forth  from  dawn  to  dark  through  that 
wire  tunnel  in  a  way  as'll  make  the  liveliest 
polar  bear  that  ever  kept  taking  a  fresh  turn 
look  like  a  petrified  tree  beside  me.  Why, 
only  to  keep  the  conveniences  he's  got  put  in 
scoured  bright  would  take  me  all  of  every 
morning  in  my  house,  to  say  nothing  of  wip- 
ing up  the  floors,  for  Jathrop  isn't  intending 
to  buy  us  no  carpets  ever.  We're  to  sit 
around  on  cherry  when  we  ain't  on  Georgia 
pine,  and  he's  got  every  mantelpiece  marked 
with  the  kind  of  wood  we're  to  burn  in  it, 
and  he's  been  kind  enough  to  tell  us  what 
122 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

colored  china  we're  to  use  in  each  bedroom. 
We're  to  shoot  our  clothes  into  the  cellar 
through  a  hole  from  up-stairs  and  wash  'em 
there  in  those  two  square  boxes  as  we 
couldn't  make  out.  That  thing  I  read  'angle- 
hook'  is  a  'inglenook,'  and  so  far  from  sitting 
in  it  to  fish  we're  to  set  in  it  to  look  at  the 
fire,  if  we  can  get  any  mahogany  to  burn  in 
that  particular  fireplace. 

"Those  fans  are  stairs,  we're  to  go  up  'em 
the  way  the  arrow  points,  and  heaven  knows 
where  or  how  we're  to  get  down  again.  What 
we  thought  was  beds  is  closets,  and  what  we 
thought  was  closets  is  beds,  and  it's  evident 
with  all  his  hopping  and  hanging  he  didn't 
really  charge  his  mind  with  us  a  tall,  for  he's 
got  a  bedroom  in  your  house  marked  'Mr. 
Lathrop/  when  the  last  bit  of  real  thought 
would  have  made  him  just  have  to  remember 
as  you're  a  widow.  He's  give  me  a  sewing- 
room  when  he  must  have  seen  that  I  always 
do  my  mending  in  the  kitchen,  and  he's  give 
us  each  enough  places  to  wash  to  keep  the 
whole  community  clean.  I  must  say  he's 
123 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

tried  to  be  fair,  for  he's  give  both  houses  the 
same  number  of  rooms  and  the  same  names 
to  each  room.  We've  each  got  a  summer 
kitchen,  but  he  left  the  spring  and  autumn  to 
scratch  along  anyhow;  we've  each  got  a 
bath-tub,  and  we've  each  got  a  china-closet 
as  well  as  a  pantry,  which  shows  he  had  very 
little  observation  of  the  way  you  keep  things 
in  order." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  absorbed  all  this  with  the 
happy  calm  of  a  contented  (and  rocking) 
sponge. 

"But  what  takes  me  is  the  way  he's  not 
only  got  a  finger,  but  has  just  smashed  both 
hands,  into  every  pie  on  the  place,"  Susan 
continued.  "He's  moved  the  chicken-house 
and  give  us  each  a  horse  and  give  the  cow  a 
calf  without  even  so  much  as  'by  your  leave.' 
I  don't  know  which  will  be  the  most  surprised 
if  this  plan  comes  true — me  with  my  horse, 
or  the  cow  finding  herself  with  a  calf  in  the 
fall  as  well  as  the  spring  this  year.  Then  it 
beats  me  where  he's  going  to  get  all  his  trees, 
for  both  houses  is  a  blooming  bower,  and 
124 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  way  tree-toads  will  sing  me  to  sleep  shows 
he's  had  no  close  friends  in  the  country. 
Trees  brushing  your  window  mean  mos- 
quitos  at  night  and  spiders  whenever  they 
feel  so  disposed.  And  that  ain't  all,  what- 
ever you  may  think,  for  you  haven't  got  a 
window-pane  over  four  inches  square  and,  as 
every  window  has  fifty-six  of  them,  I  see 
your  windows  going  dirty  till  out  of  very 
shame  I  get  'em  washed  for  your  funeral. 
And  that  ain't  all,  whatever  you  may  think, 
either,  for  the  snow  is  going  to  lodge  all 
around  all  those  little  gables  and  inglenooks 
he's  trimmed  your  roof  with,  and  you'll  leak 
before  six  months  goes  by,  or  I'll  lose  my 
guess." 

But  it  was  impossible  to  impress  Mrs. 
Lathrop.  If  things  leaked,  Jathrop  would 
have  them  mended.  She  just  rocked  and 
rocked. 

"I  don't  know  what  to  write  Jathrop  about 
these  plans,"  Susan  Clegg  said  slowly.  "Of 
course,  I've  got  to  write  him  something,  and 
I  declare  I  don't  know  what  to  say.  He 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

means  it  kindly,  and  there's  nothing  in  the 
wide  world  that  makes  things  so  hard  as 
when  people  mean  kindly.  You  can  do  all 
sorts  of  things  when  people  is  enemies,  but 
when  any  one  means  anything  kindly,  you've 
got  to  eat  it  if  it  kills  you.  Mrs.  Allen  was 
telling  me  the  other  day  that  since  she's  took 
a  vow  to  do  one  good  action  daily,  she's  lost 
most  all  of  her  friends. 

"That  just  shows  how  people  feel  about 
being  grabbed  by  the  neck  and  held  under 
till  you  feel  you've  done  enough  good  to  'em. 
Jathrop  means  this  well,  but  I've  got  a  feel- 
ing as  we'll  go  through  a  great  deal  of  misery 
being  built  over,  and  I  really  don't  think  we'll 
be  so  much  better  off  after  we've  survived. 
You'll  have  to  be  torn  right  down,  and  the 
day  that  that  young  man  was  up  on  my  porch 
post,  he  said  he  couldn't  be  positive  that  I'd 
keep  even  my  north  wall.  He  pounded  it  all 
over  in  the  dining-room  until  the  paper  was  a 
sight,  and  then  when  he  saw  how  very  far 
from  pleased  I  was,  he  tried  to  get  out  of  it 
by  saying  the  wall  would  have  to  come  down, 
126 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

anyhow.  I  think  he  saw  toward  the  last 
that  he'd  gone  too  far  in  a  many  little  ways. 
I  didn't  like  his  taking  the  hens  off  their  nests 
to  measure  how  wide  the  hen-house  was.  I 
consider  a  hen  is  one  woman  when  she's 
seated  at  work  and  had  ought  not  to  be  called 
off  by  any  man  alive.  But,  laws,  that  young 
man  wasn't  any  respecter  of  work  or  hens  or 
anything  else!  He  called  himself  an  artist, 
and  since  I've  been  studying  these  plans,  I've 
begun  to  think  as  he  was  really  telling  the 
truth,  for  artists  is  all  crazy,  and  anything 
crazier  than  these  plans  I  never  did  see. 
Not  content  with  having  us  wash  in  the  sink 
and  the  cellar,  we're  to  wash  under  the  front 
stairs,  too,  not  to  speak  of  all  but  swimming 
up-stairs." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  just  smiled  and  rocked  more. 

"I'm  not  in  favor  of  it,"  said  Miss  Clegg, 
rising  to  go.  "I  don't  believe  it'll  be  any  real 
advantage.  We'll  be  like  the  Indians  that 
die  as  soon  as  you  civilize  'em — that's  what 
we'll  be.  The  windmill  will  keep  us  awake 
nights,  and  you  don't  use  any  water  to  speak 
127 


SUSAN  CLEGG'S  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

of,  anyhow.  So  I  don't  see  why  I  should  be 
kept  awake.  As  for  that  laughing  tiger  he's 
give  me  on  my  front  door,  I  just  won't  have 
it,  and  that's  all  there  is  about  it.  A  laugh- 
ing tiger's  no  kind  of  a  welcome  to  people 
you  want,  and  when  people  come  that  I  don't 
want,  I  don't  need  no  tiger  to  let  'em  know  it. 
No,  I  never  took  to  that  young  man,  and  I 
don't  take  to  his  plans.  I  don't  like  those 
four  pillars  across  my  front  any  more  than  I 
do  that  mouse-hole  without  a  roof  that  he's 
give  me  to  go  to  you  in.  I  consider  it  a  very 
poor  compliment  to  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that 
he's  fixed  it  so  if  I  once  start  to  go  to  see  you, 
I've  got  to  keep  on,  for  I  can't  possibly  get 
out  so  to  go  nowhere  else." 

Susan  Clegg  paused.  Mrs.  Lathrop 
rocked. 

"Well  ?"  said  Miss  Clegg,  impatiently. 

But  Mrs.  Lathrop  just  rocked.  If  Susan 
didn't  like  it,  she  needn't  like  it.  Jathrop 
would  pay  the  bill. 

Susan  Clegg  went  home,  her  mind  still 
unconvinced. 

128 


VI 

SUSAN    CLEGG   UPROOTED 

MANY  things  against  which  we  protest 
bitterly  at  first  we  eventually  come  to 
accept  and  possibly  even  to  enjoy.  It  was 
that  way,  to  a  degree  at  least,  with  the  recon- 
struction of  the  houses  of  Susan  Clegg  and 
her  friend  Mrs.  Lathrop,  neither  lady  being 
particularly  charmed  with  the  idea  when  it 
was  originally  presented,  and  Miss  Clegg  be- 
ing even  frankly  displeased  with  the  plans 
that  were  sent  down  for  approval.  But  the 
plans  were  accepted,  nevertheless,  after  some 
alterations,  and  by  easy  stages  Susan  Clegg 
and  Mrs.  Lathrop  arrived  at  that  degree  of 
philosophy  which  enabled  them  to  face  with 
commendable  composure  the  fact  that  they 
must  vacate  their  dwellings  for  an  indefi- 
nitely extended  period. 
129 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

It  was  not  that  Miss  Clegg  had  ceased  to 
entertain  doubts  as  to  the  advisability  of  "be- 
ing renovated,"  nor  was  it  that  Mrs.  Lathrop 
looked  forward  gladly  to  a  temporary 
transplanting  of  herself  and  her  rocker. 
But  Jathrop' s  glory  as  a  millionaire  was  now 
so  strongly  to  the  fore  in  their  minds  that 
both  bowed,  more  or  less  resignedly,  to  his 
wishes. 

"I  must  say  I  d'n  know  how  this  thing  is 
going  to  work  out  in  the  end,"  Susan  ob- 
served to  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as  the  date  set  for 
the  beginning  of  the  work  drew  nearer. 
"I'm  against  it  myself,  but  I  ain't  against 
Jathrop,  so  I'm  giving  up  my  views  just  to 
see  what  will  happen.  My  own  opinion  is  as 
it's  all  very  well  to  build  over  most  anything, 
but  if  your  house  is  to  be  built  over,  you've 
got  to  get  out  of  it,  and  I  must  say  as  I  don't 
just  see  as  yet  when  we  get  out  of  our  houses 
what  we're  going  to  get  into.  Jathrop  says 
we  can  go  to  the  hotel,  and  that  he'll  pay  the 
bill.  Well,  I  must  say  it's  good  he'd  pay  the 
bill,  for  I'd  never  go  to  any  hotel  if  somebody 
130 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

else  didn't  pay  the  bill — I  know  that.  But 
even  if  I  haven't  got  the  bill  to  pay,  I  don't 
feel  so  raving,  raring  mad  to  go  to  the  hotel. 
It  wouldn't  matter  to  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  for 
nothing  ever  does  matter  to  you,  and  anyway, 
even  if  anything  had  mattered  to  you  before, 
you'd  not  mind  it  now  that  Jathrop's  come 
back.  But  just  the  same  a  hotel  does  matter 
to  me.  They  take  very  little  interest  in  their 
housekeeping  in  hotels,  and  no  matter  who's 
eat  off  of  what,  if  they  can  use  it  again — and 
they  generally  can — they  always  do.  Why, 
they  churn  up  the  melted  odds  and  ends  of 
ice-cream  and  serve  'em  out  as  fresh-made 
with  that  cheerful  countenance  as  loveth  no 
giver.  And  what  we'd  throw  to  the  cat  they 
scrape  right  back  into  the  soup  pot,  and  glad 
enough  to  get  it.  I  don't  suppose  you'd  mind 
what  you  ate,  nor  what  kind  of  a  cloth  had 
dusted  your  plate,  but  I  was  brought  up  to  be 
clean,  and  I  don't  want  to  sleep  with  spiders 
swinging  themselves  down  to  see  how  I  do  it. 
No,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  I  can't  consider  no  hotel, 
not  even  in  common  affection  for  Jathrop. 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

I'd  go  down  a  well  on  my  hands  and  knees  to 
dig  coal  for  him  if  necessary,  or  I'd  do  any 
other  thing  as  a  woman  as  respects  Jathrop 
might  do  if  she  didn't  respect  herself  more. 
But  live  in  a  hotel  I  will  not,  and  you  can 
write  and  tell  him  so,  for  /  don't  want  to  hurt 
his  feelings.  But  all  kindness  has  its  limits, 
and  if  I  let  a  boy  architect  run  through  the 
heart  of  my  house,  I  consider  as  I've  done 
enough  to  prove  my  Christian  spirit  for  one 
year." 

"What — ?"  ventured  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but 
Susan  Clegg  went  right  on. 

"I  don't  see  where  we're  ever  going  to  put 
our  things  while  they  haul  our  walls  down 
and  rock  our  foundations.  That  young  man 
says  there  won't  be  a  room  as  won't  have  to 
have  something  done  to  it,  and  I  don't  want 
my  furniture  spoiled,  even  if  I  do  have  to 
have  my  house  built  over  against  my  will. 
My  furniture  is  very  good  furniture,  Mrs. 
Lathrop.  It's  been  oiled,  and  rubbed,  and 
polished  ever  since  it  was  bought,  and  none  of 
the  chairs  has  ever  had  their  middles  stepped 
132 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

on,  and  nothing  of  mine  has  got  a  sunk  hole 
from  sitting, — no,  sir !  My  mattresses  is  all 
slept  even,  from  side  to  side,  and  there  ain't 
a  bottle-mark  in  the  whole  house.  It's  a  sin 
to  take  and  wreck  a  happy  home  like  mine. 
I  shall  have  untold  convenience  hereafter,  but 
I  shall  never  take  any  more  real  comfort. 
That's  what  I  see  a-coming.  And  where  un- 
der the  sun  we  are  going  to  put  our  things 
the  Lord  only  knows." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  was  one  of  those  who  rarely 
take  a  question  as  a  personal  matter.  She 
made  no  suggestion;  she  just  rocked. 

"I  can  see  what  I've  got  to  be  doing,"  said 
Susan,  a  clearer  light  breaking.  "I've  got  to 
be  getting  up  and  seeing  where  you  and  me 
can  go,  and  where  we  can  put  our  goods.  I 
don't  want  to  live  under  the  same  roof  with 
you  if  I  can  possibly  help  it.  And  not  to  do 
it's  going  to  be  hard,  for  knowing  we're  such 
friends,  folks  is  going  to  naturally  plan  to 
take  us  together.  I  don't  want  to  hurt  your 
feelings,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  yet  I  can't  in 
Christian  courtesy  deny  that  to  live  with  you 
133 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

would  drive  me  distracted,  and  so  I  shan't 
consider  it  for  a  minute.  Not  for  one  single 
minute.  Still,  I  can't  live  far  from  you,  for 
we  are  old  friends,  and  the  brother  that 
leaveth  all  else  to  cleave  to  his  brother  wasn't 
more  close  when  he  done  it  than  I  am  to  you. 
Besides,  if  they're  building  our  houses  over, 
I  shall  naturally  be  pretty  lively  in  watching 
them  do  it,  and  as  one  of  the  houses  is  yours, 
you'll  like  to  be  where  I  can  easy  tell  you  how 
it's  being  done.  And  so  it  goes  without  say- 
ing we've  got  to  be  close  together.  But  not 
too  close  together." 

All  these  premises  were  so  undeniably  true 
that  the  passive  Mrs.  Lathrop  could  not  have 
gainsaid  them  even  had  she  been  so  disposed ; 
which  she  wasn't. 

Accordingly,  upon  the  very  next  day, 
Susan  began  her  search  for  an  abiding  place, 
and  the  right  abiding  place  was — as  she  had 
predicted — not  to  be  easily  found. 

"There's  plenty  of  places,"  said  Susan, 
when  she  returned  from  her  task,  "but  they 
don't  any  of  them  suit  my  views.  You're 
134 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

easily  suited,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  I'm  not  and 
never  will  be.  I'm  of  a  nature  that  never  is 
to  be  lightly  took  in  vain,  nor  yet  to  be  just 
lightly  took  either.  And  no  one  isn't  going 
to  put  me  in  a  room  that'll  be  sunny  in  July, 
nor  yet  in  one  that  will  be  shady  in  Septem- 
ber. No  room  as  is  pleasant  in  September 
can  help  being  most  hot  in  summer;  and  al- 
though I'm  willing  to  be  hot  in  my  own 
house,  I  will  not  be  hot  in  any  place  where  I 
pay  board.  You'll  do  very  well  almost  any- 
where, Mrs.  Lathrop,  for  Lord  knows  what- 
ever other  virtues  you  may  have,  being  par- 
ticular could  never  be  left  at  your  door  in  no 
orphaned  basket.  But  I'm  different.  Mrs. 
Brown  would  take  us  until  young  Doctor 
Brown  and  Amelia  gets  back,  and  Mrs. 
Allen  would  be  glad  of  the  very  dust  of  our 
feet ;  but  I  couldn't  go  to  either  of  those  two 
places.  Mrs.  Brown  would  have  to  have 
both  of  us,  for  there's  no  one  else  to  take  you, 
and  Mrs.  Allen  would  want  to  read  us  her 
poetry.  It's  all  right  to  write  if  you  ain't 
got  brains  or  time  for  nothing  better,  but  I 
135 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

have,  and  I  ain't  going  to  knowingly  board 
myself  with  no  one  as  hasn't." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  made  no  comment.  She 
merely  rocked  and  waited. 

"As  for  our  things,"  Susan  continued, 
"I've  found  where  we  can  put  them.  It 
wasn't  easy,  but  I  never  give  up,  and  Mr. 
Shores  says  he's  willing  we  should  have  all 
the  back  of  his  upper  part.  I  told  him  as  I 
should  want  to  be  able  to  go  to  'em  any  time, 
and  he  said  far  be  it  from  him  to  desire  to 
prevent  no  woman  from  visiting  what  was 
her  own.  I  could  see  from  his  tone  as  he 
was  thinking  of  his  wife  as  run  off  with  his 
clerk,  and  it  does  beat  all  how  you  can  even 
make  a  misery  out  of  a  woman's  visiting  her 
furniture  if  you  feel  so  inclined.  So  the 
goods  is  off  our  minds,  and  now  it's  just  us 
as  has  got  to  be  put  somewheres  till  our  own 
doors  is  opened  to  us  again.  I  must  say  I'd 
like  to  know  where  we'll  end." 

On  the  very  next  day  the  solution  was  ef- 
fected. 

"I've  got  it  all  fixed,"  said  Susan,  return- 

136 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ing,  dovelike,  with  the  evening  shadows. 
"Mrs.  Macy'll  take  one  of  us  and  Gran'ma 
Mullins  the  other.  Gran'ma  Mullins  says 
with  Hiram  gone  to  the  Klondike  and  Lucy 
gone  to  her  father,  either  you  or  me  can  have 
their  room;  only  for  the  love  of  heaven  we 
mustn't  look  like  Hiram  in  bed;  for  her  heart 
is  aching  and  breaking,  and  the  car-wheels 
of  his  train  ain't  grinding  on  any  track  half 
as  much  as  they're  grinding  in  her  tenderest 
spot.  Now  the  question  is,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
which'll  go  which,  and  it's  a  thing  as  I  must 
consider  very  carefully,  for  Lord  knows  I 
don't  want  to  be  no  more  miserable  than  I've 
got  to  be.  And  it  goes  without  saying  I 
wouldn't  choose  to  live  with  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins, nor  Mrs.  Macy,  nor  nobody  else  if  I  had 
my  choice.  I'm  too  much  give  to  liking  to 
live  alone  with  myself.  Of  course,  Mrs. 
Macy  is  a  pleasanter  disposition  than 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  for  she  ain't  got  Hiram  to 
wear  my  bones  into  skin  over;  but  I  feel  as 
living  with  Mrs.  Macy  all  summer  will  surely 
lead  to  her  trying  to  make  it  come  out  even 
137 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

for  the  rent  up  to  next  January,  so  I  would 
have  to  worry  over  that.  Then,  too,  even  if 
Gran'ma  Mullins  is  wearing,  she's  soothing 
too,  and  I  shall  need  soothing  this  summer. 
I  declare,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  I  can't  well  see  how 
I'm  ever  going  to  pack  up  my  things.  I  can't 
see  what's  to  keep  'em  from  getting  scratched 
and  the  corners  knocked.  How  can  I  fix 
a  toilet  set  smooth  together?  A  toilet  set 
don't  never  fit  smooth  together;  the  handles 
always  stick  out.  And  the  frying-pan's  got 
a  handle  too,  and  a  clothesbar  ain't  any  ways 
adaptable  to  nothing.  Chair  legs  is  very  bad 
and  table  legs  is  worse,  and  there's  Mother's 
wedding-present  clock  as  found  its  level  years 
ago  and  ain't  been  stirred  since.  Father  give 
it  to  her,  and  it's  so  heavy  I  couldn't  stir  it  if 
I  wanted  to,  anyhow.  But  I  don't  want  to 
stir  it.  It's  my  dead  mother's  last  wish,  and 
as  such  is  sacred.  I  wasn't  to  stir  Father 
nor  the  clock.  It's  a  French  clock,  and  it's 
marble.  It's  a  handsome  clock.  It  was 
Father's  one  handsome  present  to  Mother. 
And  now  I've  got  to  put  it  in  storage.  And 

138 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

then  there's  our  hens.  I  don't  know  but 
what  it'd  be  wisest  to  set  right  to  eating 
them.  I  know  one  thing — I'll  never  board 
chickens.  Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  this  is  going  to 
be  an  awful  business !  Think  of  the  carpets ! 
Think  of  the  window  shades,  and  my  dead 
mother's  lamberquins !  Think  of  the  things 
in  the  garret!  And  the  things  in  the 
cellar!  And  the  things  in  the  closets!  I 
don't  know,  I'm  sure,  how  we'll  ever  get 
moved." 

As  the  days  went  on,  the  slow  trend  of  life 
brought  the  problem  still  more  pressingly  to 
the  front.  Susan  decided  to  lodge  herself 
with  Gran'ma  Mullins.  Gran'ma  Mullins, 
whose  heart  was  still  very  heavy  over  Hi- 
ram's escape  from  the  home  nest,  would  have 
preferred  Mrs.  Lathrop.  Mrs.  Lathrop's 
capacity  for  listening  would  have  meant 
much  to  Gran'ma  Mullins  in  these  hours  of 
bitter  loneliness ;  but  Mrs.  Macy  wanted  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  and  Susan  didn't  want  Mrs.  Macy, 
so  the  outcome  of  that  question  was  a  fore- 
gone conclusion. 

139 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

When  all  was  settled,  Jathrop  despatched 
emissaries  who,  with  a  deftness  and  dex- 
terity possessed  only  by  the  hirelings  of 
millionaires,  descended  on  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
and  in  the  course  of  a  single  afternoon 
transferred  her,  her  rocker,  and  the  whole 
contents  of  her  bedroom  to  Mrs.  Macy's. 
The  emissaries  offered  to  do  the  same 
thing  for  Susan  Clegg,  but  she  rejected 
their  aid.  Alone  and  unassisted  Susan 
wrestled  with  her  packing,  and  no  one 
ever  knew  just  how  she  accomplished  it.  It 
took  her  several  days,  and  it  introduced  a 
new  order  of  things  into  not  only  her  life  but 
her  speech.  Her  struggle  was  valiant,  but 
towards  the  end  she  had  to  call  on  Felicia 
Hemans  and  Sam  Durny  for  help.  When, 
on  Saturday  night,  Susan  arrived  at  Gran'ma 
Mullins's,  her  first  observation  was  that  when 
the  Lord  got  through  with  the  creation  it  was 
small  wonder  He  arranged  to  rest  on  the 
seventh  day. 

"I  d'n  know  as  I  shall  ever  get  up  again," 
she  said  to  Gran'ma  Mullins,  who  was  watch- 
140 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ing  her  take  off  her  bonnet.  "A  apron  as  has 
been  used  to  carry  things  in  for  six  days  is 
bright  and  starched  beside  me.  Oh,  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  pray  on  your  folded  knees  as  Hiram 
won't  come  back  rich  and  want  to  build  you 
over !  Anything  but  that.'' 

"Oh,  if  he'll  only  come  back,  it's  all  I'll 
ask!"  returned  Gran'ma  Mullins  sadly. 
"To  think  he  can't  get  there  for  four  weeks 
yet.  And  think  of  Hiram  in  a  boat !  Why 
Hiram  can't  even  see  a  mirror  tipped  back 
and  forth  without  having  to  go  right  where 
he'll  be  the  only  company.  And  then  to  be 
in  a  boat !  A  boat  is  such  a  tippy  thing.  I 
read  about  one  man  being  drowned  in  one 
last  week.  They're  hooking  for  him  with 
dynamite  to  see  if  they  can  even  get  a  piece 
of  him  back  for  his  wife.  His  wife  isn't 
much  like  Lucy,  I  guess.  Oh,  Susan,  you'll 
never  know  what  I've  stood  from  Lucy! 
Nobody  will." 

Miss  Clegg  shook  her  head  and  looked 
about  her  quarters  with  an  eye  that  was 
dubious. 

141 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I've  got  some  eggs  for  supper,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  "one  for  you  and  one  for 
me,  and  one  for  either  of  us  as  can  eat 
two." 

"I  can  eat  two,"  said  Susan,  who  thought 
best  to  declare  herself  at  the  outset. 

"Is  your  things  all  out  of  the  house?" 
Gran'ma  Mullins  asked,  as  they  seated  them- 
selves at  the  table. 

"Oh,  yes,"  answered  Susan,  "everything  is 
out!  Towards  the  last  we  acted  more  like 
hens  being  fed  than  anything  else,  but  we  got 
everything  finished." 

"Did  you  get  the  clock  out  safe  ?" 

Susan's  expression  altered  suddenly. 
"The  clock!  Oh,  the  clock!  What  do  you 
think  happened  to  that  clock  ?  And  I  didn't 
feel  to  mind  it,  either." 

"Oh,  Susan,  you  didn't  break  it !" 

"I  did.  And  in  sixty  thousand  flinders. 
And  I'm  glad,  too.  Very  glad.  It's  a  sad 
thing  as  how  we  may  be  found  out,  no  matter 
how  careful  we  sweep  up  our  trackings. 
And  I  don't  mind  telling  you  as  the  bitterest 
142 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

pill  in  my  cup  of  clearing  out  has  been  that 
very  same  clock." 

"It  was  such  a  handsome  clock,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  opening  her  naturally  open 
countenance  still  wider.  "Oh,  Susan! 
What  did  happen?" 

"You  thought  it  was  a  handsome  clock," 
said  Susan,  "and  so  did  I.  It  was  such  a 
handsome  clock  that  we  weren't  allowed  to 
pick  it  up  and  look  at  it.  Father  screwed  it 
down  with  big  screws,  so  we  couldn't,  and  he 
wet  'em  so  they  rusted  in.  I  had  a  awful 
time  getting  those  screws  out  to-day,  I  can 
tell  you.  You  get  a  very  different  light  on 
a  dead  and  gone  father  when  you're  trying  to 
get  out  screws  that  he  wet  thirty-five  years 
ago.  Me  on  a  stepladder  digging  under  the 
claws  of  a  clock  for  two  mortal  hours !  And 
when  I  got  the  last  one  out,  I  had  to  climb 
down  and  wake  my  foot  up  before  I  could  do 
the  next  thing.  Then  I  got  a  block  and  a 
bed-slat,  and  I  proceeded  very  carefully  to 
try  how  heavy  that  handsome  clock — that 
handsome  marble  clock — might  be.  I  put  the 
143 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

block  beside  it,  and  I  put  the  bed-slat  over  the 
block  and  under  the  clock.  Then  I  climbed 
my  ladder  again,  and  then  I  bore  down  on  the 
bed-slat.  Well,  Gran'ma  Mullins,  you  can 
believe  me  or  not,  just  as  you  please,  but  it's  a 
solemn  fact  that  nothing  but  the  ceiling 
stopped  that  clock  from  going  sky-high. 
And  nothing  but  the  floor  stopped  me  from 
falling  through  to  China.  I  come  down  to 
earth  with  such  a  bang  as  brought  Felicia 
Hemans  running.  And  the  stepladder  shut 
up  on  me  with  such  another  bang  as  brought 
Sam  Durny." 

"The  saints  preserve  us!"  ejaculated 
Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"It  wasn't  a  marble  clock  a  tall,"  confessed 
Susan.  "It  was  painted  wood.  That  was 
why  Father  screwed  it  down.  Oh,  men  are 
such  deceivers!  And  the  best  wife  in  the 
world  can't  develop  'em  above  their  natural 
natures.  I  expect  it  was  always  a  real  pleas- 
ure to  Father  to  think  as  Mother  and  me 
didn't  know  that  marble  clock  was  wood.  I 
don't  know  what  there  is  about  a  man  as 
144 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

makes  his  everyday  character  liking  to  de- 
ceive and  his  Sunday  sense  of  righteousness 
satisfied  with  just  calling  it  fooling.  Well, 
he's  gone  now,  and  the  Bible  says  'to  him  as 
hath  shall  be  given/  so  I  guess  he's  settling 
up  accounts  somewheres.  Give  me  the  other 

egg!" 

After  supper  they  stepped  over  to  Mrs. 
Macy's,  which  was  next  door,  and  the  four 
sat  on  the  piazza  in  the  pleasant  spring  twi- 
light. Mrs.  Macy  was  so  happy  over  having 
Mrs.  Lathrop  instead  of  Susan  Clegg  that 
she  smiled  perpetually.  Mrs.  Lathrop  sat 
and  rocked  in  her  old-gold-plush  rocker. 
Gran'ma  Mullins  and  Susan  Clegg  occupied 
the  step  at  the  feet  of  the  other  two. 

"Well,  Susan,"  Mrs.  Macy  remarked  medi- 
tatively, "I  never  looked  to  see  you  leave  your 
house  any  way  except  feet  first.  Well,  well, 
this  certainly  is  a  funny  world." 

"Yes,"  returned  Susan,  brief  for  once,  "it 
certainly  is." 

"It's  a  very  sad  world,  I  think,"  con- 
tributed Gran'ma  Mullins  with  a  heavy, 
145 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

heavy  sigh.  "My  goodness,  to  think  this 
time  last  spring  Hiram  was  spading  up 
the  potato  patch!  And  now  where  is 
he?" 

"Nobody  knows,"  answered  Susan.  "See 
how  many  years  it  was  till  Jathrop  come 
back.  But  I  do  hope  for  your  sake,  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  that  when  Hiram  does  come  back 
he  won't  take  it  into  his  head  to  buy  this 
house  and  build  it  over  for  you." 

Gran'ma  Mullins  looked  at  Mrs.  Macy, 
and  Mrs.  Macy  looked  back  at  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  and  a  message  flashed  and  was  an- 
swered in  the  glances. 

"Well,  Susan,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins 
with  neighborly  interest,  "you  do  see  that 
the  house  needs  fixing  up,  don't  you?" 

Susan  was  the  owner  and  Mrs.  Macy  only 
the  tenant,  and  the  implication  was  not  at  all 
pleasing  to  her.  She  turned  with  the  air  of 
the  weariest  worm  that  had  ever  done  so  and 
gave  Gran'ma  Mullins  a  look  that  could  only 
be  translated  as  an  admonition  to  mind  her 
own  business.  Whereupon  Gran'ma  Mul- 
146 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

lins  promptly  subsided,  and  the  subject  did 
not  come  up  again. 

It  was  on  a  Monday — the  very  next  Mon- 
day— that  the  workmen  arrived  and  set  to 
work  to  demolish  the  outer  casing  of  the 
homes  of  Susan  and  Mrs.  Lathrop.  Susan 
went  up  and  stood  about  for  an  hour,  view- 
ing the  way  they  did  it  with  great  but  re- 
signed scorn.  She  went  every  day  there- 
after, and  her  heart  was  rent  at  the  sight  of 
the  sacrilege.  Then,  to  add  to  her  woe, 
Gran'ma  Mullins  proved  less  soothing  than 
had  been  expected,  and  Susan  suffered 
keenly  at  her  hands. 

"Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  said  one  morn- 
ing, when  the  exigencies  of  shopping  left  the 
two  old  friends  full  freedom  of  intercourse, 
"if  I'm  going  to  live  in  that  house  for  this 
whole  summer,  the  first  thing  that  I'll  have 
to  do  is  either  to  change  Gran'ma  Mullins  or 
change  me!  I  can  see  that.  Why,  I  never 
heard  anything  like  Gran'ma  Mullins'  views 
on  Hiram.  You've  heard  Mrs.  Macy,  and 
I've  told  you  what  Lucy's  told  me  whenever 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

I've  met  her,  but  I  never  had  no  idea  it  was 
anything  like  what  it  is.  I'm  stark,  raving 
crazy  hearing  about  Hiram.  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins  says  no  child  was  ever  like  Hiram,  and  I 
begin  to  wonder  if  it  ain't  so.  No  child  ever 
made  such  an  impression  on  his  mother  be- 
fore,— I  can  take  my  Bible  oath  on  that,  for 
she's  talking  about  him  from  the  time  I  wake 
till  long  after  I'm  asleep, — and  she  remem- 
bers things  in  the  stillness  of  the  night  and 
wakes  me  up  to  hear  'em  for  fear  she'll  for- 
get 'em  before  morning.  Last  night  she 
was  up  at  two  to  tell  me  how  Hiram  used  to 
shut  his  eyes  before  he  went  to  sleep  when 
he  was  a  baby.  She  said  he  had  a  different 
way  of  doing  it  from  any  other  child  that's 
ever  been  born.  He  picked  it  all  up  by  him- 
self. She  couldn't  possibly  tell  me  just  how 
he  did  it,  but  it  was  most  remarkable.  He 
had  it  in  May  and  well  into  June  the  year  he 
was  born,  but  along  in  July  he  began  to  lose 
it,  and  by  October  he  opened  and  shut  just 
like  other  people's  babies.  That's  what  I 
was  woke  up  to  hear,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and 
148 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Herod  was  a  sweet  and  good-tempered 
mother  of  ten  compared  to  me  as  I  listened. 
And  then  at  daybreak  if  she  didn't  come  in 
again  to  explain  as  Hiram  was  so  different 
from  all  other  babies  that  he  crept  before 
he  walked,  and  the  first  of  his  trying  to 
walk  he  climbed  up  a  chair  leg." 

"Why,  Jathrop — "  volunteered  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Of  course.  They  all  do.  But  I  must 
say  I  don't  see  how  I'm  going  to  stand  it  till 
my  house  is  ready  to  receive  me  back  with 
open  bosom  if  this  is  the  way  she's  going  on 
straight  along.  I  wouldn't  stay  with  Mrs. 
Macy  because  I  was  tired  of  hearing  what 
she  said  Gran'ma  Mullins  said  about  Hiram, 
but  it  never  once  struck  me  that  if  I  stayed 
with  Gran'ma  Mullins  I'd  have  it  all  to  hear 
straight  from  the  fountain  mouth.  My 
lands  alive,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  never  hear 
the  beat !  Hiram  used  to  wrinkle  up  his 
face  when  she  washed  it,  and  he  never 
wanted  to  have  a  bath.  And  he  used  to 
bring  mud  turtles  into  the  house;  and  when 
149 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

she  thinks  of  that  and  how  now  he's  off  for 
the  Klondike,  she  says  she  feels  like  going 
straight  after  him.  She  says  she  could  be 
very  useful  in  the  Klondike.  She  could  pol- 
ish his  pick  and  his  sled-runners,  and  hang 
up  his  snowy  things,  and  wash  out  his  gold 
and  his  clothes.  She  says  she  can't  just  see 
how  they  wash  out  gold,  but  she  knows  how 
to  polish  silver,  and  she  says  mother-love 
like  hers  can  pick  up  anything.  She  goes  on 
and  on  till  I  feel  like  going  to  the  Klondike 
myself.  I'm  getting  a  great  deal  of  sym- 
pathy for  Lucy.  Lucy  always  said  she 
could  have  been  happy  with  Hiram — maybe 
— if  it  hadn't  been  for  his  mother.  Lucy's 
got  no  kind  of  tender  feeling  for  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  and  I  certainly  don't  feel  to  blame 
her  none." 

"Is  your — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop,  striv- 
ing towards  pleasanter  paths. 

"Well,  it  ain't  burnt  up  yet,"  answered 

Susan.     "I  stopped  at  Mr.  Shores'  coming 

back  and  took  a  look  at  it,  and  I  was  far 

from  pleased  to  find  the  door  as  opens  into 

150 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  next  room  to  the  room  as  my  furniture 
is  locked  up  in  a  little  open.  Goodness 
knows  who'd  opened  it,  but  it  looked  very 
much  like  some  one  had  been  trying  my  door, 
to  me.  I  asked  Mr.  Shores,  and  I  saw  at  a 
glance  as  it  was  news  to  him,  which  shows 
just  how  much  interest  he's  taking  in  look- 
ing out  for  my  things.  He  said  maybe  the 
cat  had  pushed  it  open.  The  cat!  I  un- 
locked my  door  and  went  in.  The  furni- 
ture's all  safe  enough,  but  it's  enough  to  put 
any  housekeeper's  heart  through  the  clothes 
wringer  only  to  see  how  it's  piled.  The  beds 
is  smashed  flat  along  the  wall,  and  wherever 
they  could  turn  a  table  or  a  chair  upside 
down  and  plant  something  on  the  wrong  side 
of  it,  they've  done  it.  As  for  the  way  the 
dishes  is  combined,  I  can  only  say  that  the 
Lord  fits  the  back  to  the  burden,  so  the  wash- 
bowls is  bearing  everything.  They've  put 
Mother's  picture  in  a  coal-hod  for  safety, 
and  the  coal-hod  is  sitting  on  the  bookcase. 
It's  a  far  from  cheering  sight,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
but  you  know  I  was  against  being  built 


SUSAN  CLEGG'S  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

over  from  the  start.  When  I  see  the  walls 
of  my  happy  home  being  smashed  flat  and 
then  picked  over  like  they  was  raisins  to  see 
what'll  do  to  use  again,  and  then  when  I  see 
my  furniture  put  together  in  a  way  as  no  one 
living  can  make  head  or  tail  of,  and  when  I 
see  myself  woke  up  at  three  in  the  night  to 
be  told  that  sometimes  when  Hiram  was  a 
baby  he  would  go  to  sleep  and  sometimes  he 
wouldn't,  why  I  feel  as  if  that  Roman  as 
they  rolled  down  hill  in  a  barrel  because  he 
wouldn't  stay  anywhere  else  where  they  put 
him  was  sitting  smoking  cross-legged  com- 
pared to  me.  I  d'n  know  what  I'm  going  to 
do  this  summer.  It  would  just  drive  an  or- 
dinary woman  crazy.  But  I  presume  I'll 
survive." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  looked  slightly  saddened. 
"Well,  Susan, — "  she  began  to  murmur 
sympathetically. 

"Oh,  it  doesn't  matter,"  said  Susan.  "Of 
course,  if  it  gets  where  I  can't  stand  it,  we'll 
just  have  to  change  houses,  that's  all." 


152 


VII 

SUSAN    CLEGG   UNSETTLED 

LIFE  under  the  roof  of  Gran'ma  Mullins 
eventually — and  eventually  was  a  mat- 
ter of  days  rather  than  weeks — became  un- 
bearable for  Susan  Clegg.  At  least,  she  so 
decided,  and  finding  opportunity  in  the  fact 
that  both  Gran'ma  Mullins  and  Mrs.  Macy 
had  gone  to  market,  Susan  hastened  to  her 
old  friend,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  laid  open  her 
fresh  burden  of  woes. 

"I  can't  stand  it,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  de- 
clared with  strongest  emphasis,  "I  can't 
stand  it.  No  matter  what  the  Bible  says,  a 
saint  on  a  gridiron  would  smile  all  over  and 
wriggle  for  nothing  but  joy  only  to  think  as 
where  he  was  and  wasn't  boarding  with 
Gran'ma  Mullins.  It's  awful.  That's  what 
it  is — awful.  I  never  had  no  idea  that  noth- 
153 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ing  could  be  so  awful.  I've  got  to  where 
I'm  thinking  very  seriously  of  leaving  my 
property  to  Lucy.  I'm  becoming  very  sorry 
for  Lucy.  Lucy  isn't  properly  appreciated. 
Why,  Hiram  was  stung  by  a  bee  once, — no 
ordinary  bee,  but  a  bee  a  third  bigger  than 
the  usual  bee, — and  it  swelled  up  all  differ- 
ent from  common,  and  Gran'ma  Mullins 
thought  he  was  surely  going  to  die  right 
there  before  her  streaming  eyes.  But 
Hiram  was  so  bright  he  remembered  about 
putting  mud  on  bee-bites,  and  he  did  it. 
Only  there  wasn't  no  mud,  and  nobody  knew 
what  they  could  do  about  it.  But  Hiram's 
mind  wasn't  like  the  mind  of  a  ordinary 
person.  Hiram's  mind  is  all  different,  and 
Hiram  said,  just  as  quick  as  scat,  to  mix 
water  and  earth  and  make  some  mud.  So 
they  did,  and  the  water  and  earth,  Gran'ma 
Mullins  says,  made  the  finest  mud  she  ever 
saw.  They  covered  up  Hiram's  bee-bite 
with  it,  and  it  didn't  leave  so  much  as  a  scar. 
And  now  there's  Hiram  in  the  Klondike, 
knowing  just  what  to  do  when  bit  by  a  bee, 
154 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

but  without  a  notion  what  to  put  on  if  a  seal 
catches  him  unawares.  And  all  this  going 
on  hour  after  hour,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  me 
sitting  there  waiting  for  my  dinner,  half  mad 
anyway  over  the  way  my  dead-and-gone 
father's  home  is  being  torn  limb  from  limb, 
and  in  no  mood  to  listen  to  anything.  Oh, 
laws,  no !  It's  no  use.  I  can't  stand  it,  and 
I  won't  either." 

Susan  paused  expressively. 
Mrs.  Lathrop  gasped.  "What  will—?" 
"I'm  going  to  find  another  place  to  live 
right  away,"  Susan  went  on.  "I've  too 
much  consideration  for  you  to  ask  you  to  go 
there,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  besides,  I  feel  it 
would  be  exchanging  the  fire  for  the  stew- 
pan  for  me  to  come  here.  I'm  going  this 
town  over  this  very  afternoon,  and  I  think 
I'll  find  some  place  where  I  can  sleep  part  of 
the  night,  at  any  rate.  I  guess  I  got  about 
three  quarters  of  a  hour's  sleep  last  night. 
Gran'ma  Mullins  woke  me  up  weeping  on 
the  foot  of  my  bed  before  daylight.  Just 
before  daylight  is  her  special  time  for  recol- 
155 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

lecting  how  Hiram  used  to  drink  milk  out  of 
a  cup  when  he  was  a  baby,  and  how  he  used 
to  eat  candy  if  anybody  gave  him  any,  and 
other  remarkable  doings  that  he  did.  My 
lands,  I  wish  Job  could  have  met  Gran'ma 
Mullins!  His  friends  and  his  boils  would 
have  just  been  pleasant  things  to  amuse  him, 
then.  I'm  going  first  to  Mrs.  Allen,  and 
then  I'm  going  to  every  one.  I  shan't  make 
no  bones  about  my  errand,  for  everybody 
knows  Gran'ma  Mullins.  I'll  have  the  sym- 
pathy of  the  whole  community.  I  need  sym- 
pathy, and  I  feel  I  can  soak  up  a  good  lot  of 
it  if  I'm  let  to." 

"How's  the — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"They're  still  pulling  'em  down,"  said 
Susan  gloomily.  "It's  a  awful  sight,  and 
one  that  doesn't  give  me  more  strength  for 
Gran'ma  Mullins.  I  shall  never  have  an- 
other house  that  will  suit  me  as  mine  did, 
Mrs.  Lathrop.  I  know  that  Jathrop  means 
it  kindly,  and  I'm  far  from  being  one  to 
hold  any  gift-horse  by  the  tail,  but  the  truth 
is  the  truth,  and  I  must  say  nothing  teaches 

156 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

you  to  really  prize  your  cupboards  like  see- 
ing men  going  through  'em  with  pick-axes. 
There  was  many  little  conveniences  in  my 
house  as  I  never  really  thought  much  of  un- 
til now  I  see  'em  gone  forever.  But  it's  a 
poor  cat  that  lives  on  spilt  milk,  so  I'll  say  no 
more  of  that,  but  go  back  and  get  ready  to 
hunt  up  a  place  to  live.  For  live  I  must, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  live  I  will.  And  I  won't 
live  by  eating  and  drinking  and  breathing 
Hiram  Mullins  the  twenty-four  hours  round, 
neither." 

Miss  Clegg's  round  of  visits  ended,  curi- 
ously enough,  in  her  establishing  herself  with 
Lucy  Mullins. 

"Which  I  don't  doubt  is  a  very  great  sur- 
prise to  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  confessed 
to  her  friend  that  evening.  "But  Lucy  ran 
across  me  in  the  street,  and  when  she  saw 
me,  those  two  women  who  met  in  the  Bible 
and  knew  all  each  other's  business  directly 
was  strangers  passing  on  express  trains  be- 
side Lucy  and  me.  I  took  one  look  at  Lucy, 
and  I  see  she  knowed  it  all.  Judge  Fitch  is 
157 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

going  to  be  away  a  lot  this  month,  seeing 
where  he  can  hire  his  witnesses  for  a  big 
lawsuit,  and  Lucy  says  she  and  me'll  be  alone 
and  able  to  be  silent  from  dawn  to  dark  and 
on  through  the  night.  She  don't  want  to 
have  to  listen  to  no  manner  of  talk,  she  says, 
and  I  can  have  the  second  floor  all  alone  to 
myself,  for  her  and  her  father  sleep  in  the 
wings  down-stairs." 

"So  you — "  said  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  I  didn't  look  no  more.  I  was 
suited,  so  I  didn't  see  no  use  in  further  fuss- 
ing. I  shall  tell  Gran'ma  Mullins  to-night 
and  go  there  to-morrow.  And  I  may  in  con- 
fidence remark  as  no  howling  oasis  in  a  des- 
ert ever  howled  for  joy  the  way  I'll  feel  like 
howling  when  I  get  my  trunk  on  a  wheel- 
barrow again.  I've  spoke  for  the  wheel- 
barrow at  eight  o'clock  to-morrow  morning, 
so  I'll  be  over  at  Lucy's  and  settled  before 
you  wake  up,  Mrs.  Lathrop." 

The  next  day  Susan  went,  and,  surprising 
as  it  may  seem,  Gran'ma  Mullins  was  singu- 
larly content  over  her  going. 

158 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"I  don't  want  to  make  no  trouble  between 
friends,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins,  clambering 
up  Mrs.  Macy's  steps  to  sit  with  Mrs.  Macy 
and  Mrs.  Lathrop.  "But  really,  Susan  is  be- 
come most  changed  since  her  house  is  begun 
to  be  built  over.  I  wouldn't  hardly  have 
known  her.  I  wouldn't  say  stuck-up  and  I 
wouldn't  say  airy,  but  I  will  say  as  she's  most 
changed.  I  wouldn't  say  rude,  neither,  but 
I  didn't  consider  it  exactly  friendly  to  al- 
ways either  pull  her  breath  in  long  and  loud 
or  else  let  it  out  short  and  sharp  whenever  I 
mentioned  Hiram.  Hiram  is  my  only  legal 
and  natural  child,  and  with  him  in  the  Klon- 
dike, and  my  heart  aching  and  quaking  and 
breaking  for  fear  the  ice'll  thaw  and  let  him 
through  into  some  unexpected  volcano  all  of 
a  sudden,  how  can  I  but  mention  him  ?  You 
know  what  Hiram  is  to  me,  Mrs.  Macy. 
We  haven't  lived  in  these  two  houses  for 
forty  years  without  your  knowing  what 
Hiram  is  to  me.  You  remember  him  as  a 
baby,  Mrs.  Macy,  but  you  don't,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, so  I'll  tell  you  what  Hiram  was  as 
159 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

a  baby.     Hiram  was  a  most  remarkable — " 
When  Mrs.   Lathrop   saw   Susan   Clegg 
again,  Miss  Clegg  was  looking  far   from 
happy. 

"Are  you — ?"  enquired  Mrs.  Lathrop. 
"Well,  I  d'n  know,"  came  the  answer 
more  than  a  little  dubiously.  Then:  "See- 
ing that  I  am  always  frank  and  open  with 
you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  I  may  as  well  say  plainly 
as  I  ain't.  Very  far  from  it.  I  never  knew 
when  I  went  to  live  with  Lucy  as  Judge  Fitch 
has  got  a  dog  as  barks.  He  ain't  no  ordi- 
nary dog — he's  a  most  uncommon  dog.  He 
only  barks  when  it's  moonlight,  or  when  he 
hears  something,  and  I  must  say  he's  got  the 
sharpest  ears  I  ever  see.  But  it  isn't  his 
barking  that's  so  bad,  as  it  is  that  whenever 
he  barks,  Lucy  gets  right  up  to  see  whether 
it's  Hiram  come  back.  It  seems  the  reason 
Lucy  took  me  to  board  is  she  hates  to  go 
around  the  house  alone  nights  with  the  dog 
and  a  candle.  That's  a  pretty  thing  for  me 
to  never  mistrust  till  I  got  there  with  my 
trunk.  I  must  say  I  don't  blame  Lucy  for  not 
160 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

liking  to  go  around  alone,  for  the  dog  smells 
your  heels  all  the  time,  and  if  he  was  in  the 
Klondike  with  Hiram  his  nose  couldn't  be 
colder.  But  all  the  same  I  think  she  ought 
to  of  told  me.  For  whatever  it  may  be  to 
others,  a  cold  nose  is  certainly  most  new  to 
my  heels.  Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  we  was  out 
hunting  with  our  dog  three  times  last  night, 
and  Lucy  says  often  enough  he  gets  her  up 
nine  and  ten  times.  Lucy's  so  nervous  for 
fear  Hiram'll  come  back  that  she  can't  pos- 
sibly sleep  if  she  thinks  there's  a  chance  of 
it.  She  says  if  Hiram's  come  back,  she 
wants  to  know  it  right  off.  She  says  that's 
her  nature.  If  she's  got  to  have  a  tooth  out, 
she  wants  it  out  at  once.  She  says  she  never 
was  one  to  shrink  from  nothing.  And  the 
dog's  prompt,  too.  He's  quite  of  the  same 
mind  as  Lucy.  He  gives  one  bark,  and  then 
he  don't  dilly-dally  none.  He  gets  right  up, 
and  by  the  time  he's  got  to  Lucy,  Lucy's  got 
up  too,  and  they  both  come  racing  up-stairs 
for  me  to  join  'em.  My  door  don't  lock,  so 
the  dog's  licking  my  face  before  I  know 
161 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

where  I  am.  And  then,  before  I  know  much 
more  where  I  am,  we're  all  three  capering 
down-stairs  together  again.  Then  we  take 
the  whole  house  carefully  around  and  listen 
at  every  door  and  window,  with  the  dog 
smelling  while  we  listen.  Then,  when  we 
know  for  sure  as  it  ain't  Hiram,  the  dog 
scrambles  back  into  his  basket,  and  Lucy 
tucks  him  up,  and  she  and  I  go  back  to  bed 
alone  and  untucked.  That's  a  pretty  kettle 
of  fish.  And  you  can  believe  me  or  not,  just 
as  you  please,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  I  never  had 
no  notion  of  having  my  heels  smelled  by  a 
cold  dog's  nose  three  times,  and  maybe  nine, 
a  night  when  I  went  to  live  at  Judge  Fitch's, 
and  if  it  keeps  on,  I  shall  just  leave.  Lucy's 
got  no  lease  on  me,  and  although  I'm  sorry 
for  her,  I  ain't  anywhere  near  sorry  enough 
for  her  to  be  woke  up  to  pussy-cornering  all 
over  the  premises  with  a  dog  the  livelong 
night  through.  As  between  having  Gran'- 
ma  Mullins  sitting  on  my  feet  wailing  over 
Hiram,  and  Lucy's  dog  smelling  of  my  heels 
while  we  hunt  for  Hiram,  I  think  I'd  rather 
162 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

have  Gran'ma  Mullins.  I  was  warm  and 
comfortable  and  laid  out  flat  at  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  but  I'm  goodness  knows  what  at 
Lucy's.  And  I  do  hate  having  my  face 
licked.  I  don't  like  it.  I  never  was  used  to 
such  things,  and  I  can't  begin  now." 

"What  will — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I  shall  look  up  another  nice  place  to  live," 
said  Miss  Clegg,  "and  I  shall  take  a  leaf  out 
of  the  dog's  book  and  be  prompt  about  it,  too. 
I've  spoke  for  the  wheelbarrow  to-morrow 
at  ten  o'clock,  and  I  shall  move  then,  whether 
or  no." 

Susan,  again  on  the  lookout  for  a  new 
abiding  place,  discovered  a  most  attractive 
proposition  in  Mrs.  Allen.  Mrs.  Allen  and 
her  husband  lived  alone,  were  neat  and  well- 
fed,  and  kept  no  dog. 

"I'll  never  go  where  there's  a  dog  again, 
I  know  that,"  said  Susan.  "Why,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  if  I  was  in  a  blizzard  in  Switzer- 
land and  fifty  of  those  little  beer-keg  dogs 
they've  got  there  came  scurrying  up  to  res- 
cue me,  I  wouldn't  get  up  and  let  'em  have 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

the  joy  of  seeing  me  obliged.  I  won't  ever 
get  up  for  no  dog  again  in  my  life,  I  know 
that.  And  I  know  it  for  keeps.  And 
there's  a  bolt  on  my  side  of  my  door  at  Mrs. 
Allen's.  I've  looked  to  that,  too;  and  no 
one  is  to  wake  me  nights ;  I've  looked  to  that. 
I  told  Mrs.  Allen  all  the  story  of  what  I'd 
suffered,  and  she  said  she'd  see  as  I  had 
peace  in  her  house.  She  told  me  that  I'd 
suffered  because  I  needed  to  suffer,  but  now 
I  was  to  have  peace,  and  I'd  have  it  with  her. 
I  didn't  bother  to  ask  what  she  meant,  for 
I  guess  if  she's  got  any  secret  thorn,  I'll  find 
it  out  quick  enough,  anyhow.  And  if  it's 
anything  that  wakes  me  up  nights,  my  pres- 
ent feeling  is  as  I  won't  be  well  able  to  bear 
it.  Well,  the  wheelbarrow  is  set  for  ten 
o'clock,  and  so  I  must  go,  and  when  I  see 
you,  I'll  know  what's  wrong  with  Mrs.  Allen, 
and  the  Lord  help  me  if  it's  something  as 
makes  me  have  to  move  again.  That's  all 
I  can  say." 

Susan  did  not  visit  her  old  friend  directly 
after  her  third  change  of  residence.     Two 
164 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

whole  days  passed  by,  and  Mrs.  Lathrop  was 
openly  troubled. 

"Don't  you  worry,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins 
soothingly.  "There's  nothing  the  matter 
with  her,  because  I  see  her  in  the  square  this 
very  morning.  But  she  looked  at  me  odd 
and  went  down  a  side  street.  I'm  sure  I 
hope  Susan's  not  losing  her  mind." 

"Oh,  wouldn't  that  be  awful!"  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Macy  with  real  sympathy.  "We'd 
have  to  appoint  a  commission  to  catch  her 
and  sit  on  her,  and  then  if  she  was  put  in 
the  insane  asylum,  I  guess  Susan  Clegg 
would  be  mad." 

"Oh,  Susan  wouldn't  like  that  a  bit,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins  meditatively.  "They 
make  little  cups  and  saucers  out  of  beads. 
I  know,  because  Hiram  had  one  once.  And 
they  read  books  with  the  letters  all  punched 
out  at  you." 

"You're  thinking  of  the  Home  for  the 
Blind,"  corrected  Mrs.  Macy.  "I  was  there 
once,  too.  I  don't  think  Susan  would  mind 
going  there  so  much,  because  of  course  she 

165 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

can  see,  which  would  give  her  a  great  ad- 
vantage over  the  others,  and  Susan  does  like 
to  have  an  advantage  over  anybody  else. 
But  I  don't  believe  she'd  like  going  to  the 
Insane  Asylum  much.  The  Insane  Asy- 
lum's so  limited.  My  husband's  sister  went 
to  the  Insane  Asylum  once,  but  it  didn't 
help  her  none,  so  she  came  home.  It 
wouldn't  ever  suit  Susan." 

"Well,  maybe  not,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins 
amicably.  "And  I  don't  think  she  could  go 
there,  anyway,  for  she  isn't  crazy,  and  she's 
got  her  own  money.  So  why  should  she  be 
a  charge  on  the  county?" 

The  very  next  day  Susan  came  wearily  in 
to  see  her  old  friend. 

"Well,  I  d'n  know  what  I've  ever  done  to 
have  this  kind  of  a  summer,"  she  began,  seat- 
ing herself  sadly.  "Why  didn't  I  stay  in 
my  own  house  and  just  simply  take  you  to 
board  while  they  laid  violent  hands  on  your 
house?  I  was  against  being  built  over  all 
along,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  know  that.  And 
now  the  fox  has  his  cheese  and  the  cow  has 
1 66 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

her  corn,  just  as  the  Scripture  says,  but 
Susan  Clegg's  absolutely  forced  to  live  with 
Mrs.  Allen.  Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  don't 
know  what  living  with  Mrs.  Allen  is,  and 
you  can't  imagine,  either.  I  never  dreamed 
of  such  a  thing  before  I  went  there.  I  was 
a  little  afraid  she'd  want  to  read  me  her 
poetry,  but  her  poetry  would  have  been 
paradise  to  what  is.  Seems  as  if  Mrs.  Allen 
has  got  a  new  kind  of  religion,  and  heaven 
help  the  present  run  of  mankind  if  any  more 
new  religions  is  sprung  on  us,  and  heaven 
help  me  if  I've  got  to  live  long  with  Mrs. 
Allen's  new  one.  Mrs.  Allen's  new  religion 
is  most  peculiar.  I  never  see  nothing  like 
it.  It's  Persian,  and  it's  very  singular  just 
to  look  at.  But  it's  most  awful  to  live  with. 
Lucy  and  her  dog  is  simple  beside  it,  and  as 
to  Gran'ma  Mullins,  she's  nothing  but  a 
baby  dabbing  a  ball  in  comparison.  Accord- 
ing to  Mrs.  Allen's  new  religion,  you  mustn't 
find  fault  with  nothing  or  nobody — never. 
Everything's  all  right,  no  matter  how  wrong 
it  is;  and  if  you  lose  your  purse,  you  was 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

meant  to  lose  it,  so  why  complain?  You 
was  give  your  purse  for  just  a  little  while, 
and  in  place  of  wildly  running  here  and 
there  trying  to  find  it,  you  must  just  thank 
heaven  for  kindly  letting  you  have  it  so  long, 
and  think  no  more  about  it.  If  you're  meant 
to  see  any  more  of  that  purse,  it'll  kindly 
look  you  up  itself.  But  it's  no  manner  of 
use  your  looking  for  it,  because  if  heaven 
takes  back  a  purse  deliberately,  never  intend- 
ing to  return  it,  it  never  does  return  it,  and 
that's  all  there  is  to  be  said  on  the  subject. 
Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  think  perhaps  you 
can  see  what  it  would  be  to  live  with  any 
one  that  feels  to  see  life  in  that  way ;  but  you 
don't  really  know  what  you  think  a  good 
deal  of  the  time,  and  never  less  than  now. 
Mrs.  Allen's  things  is  mostly  back  in  heav- 
en's hands  again,  and  her  biscuits  is  mostly 
burnt,  and  not  one  bit  does  she  care,  seeing 
as  she  don't  consider  as  she  has  the  least 
thing  to  do  with  any  of  it.  She's  happy  and 
singing  and  forgetting  from  dawn  to  dark. 
She  says  the  day'll  soon  be  that  the  whole 
168 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

earth  will  see  the  truth  and  be  singing  with 
her.  She  says  the  toiling  millions  will  cease 
to  toil  then,  and  lif  e'll  be  all  Adams  and  Eves 
and  no  manner  of  misery.  In  the  meantime, 
I  don't  get  nothing  to  eat,  and  when  I  feel 
to  holler  down-stairs,  she  says  dinner  was 
meant  to  be  late  that  day,  or  it  couldn't  pos- 
sibly have  been  late.  Not  by  no  manner  of 
means." 

"Well,  I — "  commented  Mrs.  Lathrop 
blankly. 

"Just  my  way  of  seeing  it,"  said  Susan, 
"and  she  aggravates  me  still  more  with 
pointing  her  moral,  from  dawn  to  dark. 
She  says  it's  beautiful  to  see  how  beautiful 
life  comes  along.  You  and  me  needed  quiet, 
and  we  got  quiet.  And  now  we  need  our 
houses  built  over,  and  we're  getting  'em  built 
over.  I  told  her  I  didn't  need  my  house 
built  over  a  tall,  and  she  said  as  I  just 
thought  so,  but  that  I  really  did,  or  it 
wouldn't  be  being  done.  Well,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  what  I  will  run 
up  against  next.  But  I  don't  believe  I  can 

169 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

stay  at  Mrs.  Allen's.  I  really  don't.  There's 
one  thing — it'll  be  mighty  easy  to  leave  her, 
for  I  shan't  have  to  say  nothing.  I  shall 
say  I  was  meant  to  leave  and  then  and  there 
leave.  It's  a  poor  religion  as  don't  fit  others 
as  easy  as  its  own  selves ;  and  I  ain't  washed 
in  the  Aliens'  dirty  rain  water  full  of  dead 
and  drowned  bugs  for  two  days  because  I 
was  meant  to  wash  and  they  was  meant  to 
drown,  without  learning  how  to  turn  even  a 
drowned  bug  to  my  advantage.  No,  sir,  I'm 
going  out  this  afternoon  and  see  what  I  can 
get,  and  if  I  can't  do  no  better,  I'll  buy  a 
bolt  for  my  door  and  come  back  to  Gran'ma 
Mullins.  Gran'ma  Mullins  has  her  good 
points.  I  always  said  that,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
Gran'ma  Mullins  certainly  has  her  good 
points.  And  I  must  learn  to  bear  Hiram  if 
I  must.  There's  one  thing  certain:  I  can 
hear  about  Hiram  in  bed,  and  I  don't  have 
to  get  up  and  out  of  bed  to  hunt  for  him. 
And  whatever  else  Gran'ma  Mullins  does, 
she  don't  burn  her  bread  and  blame  it  on  the 
Almighty.  Mrs.  Allen's  got  the  Bible  so  pat 
170 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

that  you  don't  need  to  do  nothing,  according 
to  her — nothing  a  tall,  but  just  sit  still  and 
let  the  world  turn  you  around  with  its  turn- 
ing. She  says  Solomon  said  the  little  lilies 
didn't  spin,  and  so  why  should  she?  Well, 
if  we're  to  quit  doing  everything  that  lilies 
don't  have  a  hand  in,  I  must  say  we'll  soon 
be  in  a  pretty  state.  I  never  was  one  to  ad- 
mire Solomon  like  some  people,  and  as  for 
David,  I  think  he  was  a  fool — dancing 
around  the  ark  like  he'd  just  got  it  for 
Christmas !" 

Susan  searched  long  and  wearily  for  a 
fourth  abiding  place  that  afternoon,  but  in 
the  end  she  had  to  speak  for  the  wheelbar- 
row for  the  next  morning  and  move  back  to 
Gran'ma  Mullins's. 

And  Gran'ma  Mullins  was  very  glad  to 
see  her  back. 

"Your  bed's  all  made  up  with  the  same 
sheets  for  you,  Susan,"  she  said  cordially, 
"and  I  ain't  even  swept  so  as  to  spoil  the 
homelike  look.  You'll  see  your  own  last 
burnt  matches  and  all,  just  as  you  left  'em." 
171 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I've  bought  a  bolt  for  my  door,"  said 
Susan,  "and  I'll  beg  to  borrow  a  screwdriver 
and  something  sharp  to  put  it  on  with." 

"I'll  get  'em,"  agreed  Gran'ma  Mullins 
happily,  "and  I  won't  wake  you  no  more 
nights,  Susan.  I  suppose  it's  only  natural 
that  you,  never  having  been  married,  can't 
possibly  know  the  feelings  of  a  mother.  But 
I  meant  it  kindly,  Susan.  When  Lucy 
speaks  of  Hiram,  she  means  it  unkindly. 
But  when  I  speak  of  Hiram,  I  always  mean 
it  kindly." 

"Yes,  I  know,"  said  Susan,  "and  if  I  be- 
lieved like  Mrs.  Allen  does,  I'd  know  I  was 
meant  to  listen  and  wouldn't  mind.  But  I 
don't  take  no  stock  in  that  religion  of  Mrs. 
Allen's,  and  I  won't  be  woke  up.  And  al- 
though I  don't  want  to  hurt  your  feelings, 
I  do  want  that  understood  right  from  the 
beginning." 

"I'll  remember,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins 
submissively.  "And  now  I'll  fetch  the 
screwdriver." 

That  evening  the  four  friends  sat  pleas- 
172 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

antly  once  again  on  Mrs.   Macy's  piazza. 

"Mrs.  Lathrop  had  a  letter  from  Jathrop 
to-day.  Did  you  know  that,  Susan?"  asked 
Mrs.  Macy. 

"No,  I  didn't/'  returned  Susan  Clegg. 
"What  did  he  say?" 

"He's  going  sailing  to  the  West  Indies  in 
his  new  boat,"  Mrs.  Macy  informed  her. 
"He's  going  for  his  health,  and  he's  going 
to  take  three  other  millionaires  and  their 
own  doctor." 

Susan  appeared  unimpressed. 

"He  sent  his  mother  a  book  about  the 
place  where  he's  going,"  said  Mrs.  Macy. 
"Do  you  want  to  see  it?"  She  went  in  and 
brought  it  out. 

Susan  took  the  volume  and  viewed  the 
title  with  an  indifferent  eye. 

"Stark's  Guide  to  the  Bahamas"  she  read 
aloud.  "What  are  they — something  to 
eat?" 

"You're  thinking  of  bananas,"  suggested 
Mrs.  Macy.  "It's  islands.  It's  where  Co- 
lumbus hit  first.  Nobody  knows  just  where 
173 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

he  hit,  but  he  hit  there;  everybody  knows 
that." 

Susan  placed  the  book  under  her  arm. 
"I'll  read  it,"  she  said  briefly.  "But  I  must 
say  as  to  my  order  of  thinking  Jathrop's  set- 
ting off  just  now  is  very  much  like  a  hen  get- 
ting up  from  her  eggs.  Here's  you  and 
me — "  addressing  Mrs.  Lathrop  directly — 
"with  our  houses  done  away  with,  and  him 
as  has  engineered  the  wreck  skipping  away 
with  a  parcel  of  men." 

"He  isn't  skipping,"  interposed  Mrs. 
Macy.  "He's  sailing — sailing  in  his  own 
private  boat,  like  the  tea-man  with  the  cup." 

"Oh,  I  don't  care  what  he's  doing,"  said 
Susan,  rising.  "I'm  about  beat  out,  and 
I'm  going  home  and  going  to  bed.  Such  a 
week !  The  Bible  says  'Whom  the  Lord  lov- 
eth  He  chaseth,'  and  heaven  knows  I've  been 
chased  this  week  till  my  legs  is  about  wore 
off.  Such  a  week !  I've  had  all  the  chasing 
I  want  for  one  while.  And  I  never  was 
great  on  being  loved,  so  I'm  going  home  and 
going  to  bed." 

174 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Whereupon,  with  the  Guide  to  the  Baha- 
mas under  her  arm  and  a  heavy  fold  between 
her  brows,  Susan  Clegg  stalked  over  to  her 
temporary  domicile. 

"I  don't  think  Susan's  very  well,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"Maybe  she's  worried  over  Jathrop,"  sug- 
gested Mrs.  Macy. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  said  nothing.  She  just 
rocked. 


175 


VIII 

SUSAN    CLEGG  AND   THE   CYCLONE 

*'T  D'N  know,  I'm  sure,  what  star  this 
•»•  town  could  ever  have  been  laid  out  un- 
der," said  Susan  Clegg,  one  exceptionally  hot 
night  as  the  four  friends  sat  out  on  Mrs. 
Macy's  steps,  "but  my  own  opinion  is  as  it 
must  have  been  a  comet,  for  we're  always 
skiting  along  into  some  sort  of  hot  water. 
When  it  ain't  all  of  us,  it's  some  of  us,  and 
when  it  ain't  some  of  us,  it's  one  of  us ,  and 
now  the  walls  of  my  house  is  up  I'd  be  will- 
ing to  bet  a  nickel  as  a  calamity'll  happen 
along  just  because  something's  always  hap- 
pening here  and  my  walls  is  the  young- 
est and  tenderest  thing  in  the  community 
now." 

"Your  roof  ain't — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

176 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Of  course  not;  how  could  it  be,  when 
my  walls  is  only  just  up?  I  don't  wish  to 
be  casting  no  stones  at  him  as  is  the  least 
among  us,  but  I  will  say,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as 
Jathrop's  orders  seem  to  be  taking  you  up 
under  the  loving  protection  of  their  wings, 
while  I'm  running  around  like  I  was  a  viper 
without  no  warm  bosom  to  hatch  me.  Your 
walls  have  been  up  and  a-doing  for  a  week, 
but  my  walls  have  been  sitting  around  wait- 
ing until  I  was  nigh  to  put  out.  To  see  your 
laths  going  in  and  your  plaster  going  on, 
while  I  stay  lumber  and  nails,  is  a  lesson  in 
yielding  to  the  will  of  heaven  as  I  never  cal- 
culated on.  There's  few  things  more  ag- 
gravating than  to  see  some  other  house 
speeding  along  while  your  own  house  sits 
silently,  patiently  waiting.  Of  course  I 
can't  say  nothing,  as  even  the  boy  as  carries 
water  knows  my  house  is  going  to  be  a  pres- 
ent to  me  in  the  end.  It's  all  right,  and 
likely  enough  the  Lord  has  seen  fit  to  send 
this  summer  to  me  as  a  chastisement;  but  I 
will  say  that  if  I'd  known  how  this  summer 
177 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

was  going,  the  Lord  would  most  certainly 
have  had  to  plan  some  other  way  to  punish 
me.  I  don't  say  as  it  wasn't  natural  that 
your  walls  should  go  up  first,  Jathrop  being 
your  son,  and,  now  that  he's  rich,  no  more  to 
me  than  a  benefactor — " 

"Oh,  Susan!"  expostulated  Mrs.  Macy. 

"That's  what  he  is,  Mrs.  Macy;  he's  my 
benefactor,  and  I  can't  escape  if  I  want  to. 
You  may  tend  a  man's  mother  ten  years,  day 
and  night,  house  cleanings  and  cistern  clean- 
ings, moths  and  the  well  froze  up,  and  if  the 
man  comes  back  rich,  he's  your  benefactor." 

"Susan!"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop,  "you—" 

"Don't  deny  it,  Mrs.  Lathrop;  it's  the 
truth.  It's  one  of  those  truths  that  the 
wiser  they  are,  the  sadder  you  get.  It's  one 
of  those  truths  as  is  the  whole  truth  and  a 
little  left  over;  and  I'm  learning  that  I'm  to 
be  what's  left  over,  more  every  day.  After 
a  life  of  being  independent  and  living  on  my 
own  money,  I'm  now  going  down  on  my 
knees  learning  the  lesson  of  being  humbly 
grateful  for  what  I  don't  want.  I  may 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

sound  bitter,  but  if  I  do  it  isn't  surprising, 
for  I  feel  bitter ;  and  Gran'ma  Mullins  knows 
I'm  always  frank  and  open,  so  she'll  excuse 
my  saying  that  there's  nothing  in  living  with 
her  as  tends  to  calm  me  much.  A  woman  as 
sleeps  in  a  bed  as  Hiram  must  have  played 
leap-frog  over  all  his  life  from  the  feel  of  the 
springs,  and  pours  out  of  a  pitcher  as  has  got 
a  chip  out  of  its  nose,  ain't  in  no  mood  to 
mince  nothing.  I  never  was  one  to  mince, 
and  I  never  will  be — not  now  and  not  never. 
Mincing  is  for  them  as  ain't  got  it  in  them 
to  speak  their  minds  freely;  and  my  mind  is 
a  thing  that's  made  to  be  free  and  not  a 
slave." 

"Well,  really,  Susan,"  expostulated  Mrs. 
Macy,  "what  ever — " 

"Don't  interrupt  me,  Mrs.  Macy.  I'm 
full  of  goodness  knows  what,  but  whatever 
it  is,  I'm  too  full  of  it  for  comfort.  There's 
nothing  in  the  life  I'm  leading  this  summer 
to  make  me  expect  comfort,  and  very  little 
to  make  me  feel  full,  but  there's  things  as 
would  make  a  man  dying  of  starvation  bust 
179 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

if  he  experienced  them.  And  I'm  full  of 
such  things.  I  never  had  no  idea  of  being 
out  of  my  house  all  summer,  and  now,  when 
my  walls  is  up  at  last,  and  it  looks  like  maybe 
I'd  get  back  a  home  feeling  some  day  soon, 
I  must  up  and  get  quite  another  kind  of  feel- 
ing— a  feeling  that  something  is  going  to 
happen.  It's  a  very  strange  feeling,  and  at 
first  I  thought  it  was  just  some  more  of 
Gran'ma  Mullins'  cooking;  but  it  kept  get- 
ting stronger,  and  when  I  was  in  the  square, 
I  spoke  to  Mr.  Kimball  about  it ;  and  he  says 
this  is  cyclone  weather,  and  maybe  a  cyclone 
is  going  to  happen.  He  says  a  man  was  in 
town  yesterday  wanting  to  insure  everybody 
against  fire  and  cyclones.  Most  everybody 
did  it.  Mr.  Kimball  says  after  the  young 
man  got  through,  you  pretty  much  had  to  do 
it.  Them  as  had  policies  with  the  company 
could  get  the  word  'cyclone'  writ  in  for  a 
dollar.  I  guess  the  young  man  did  a  very 
good  day's  work.  Mr.  Kimball  says  if  it's 
true  as  there's  any  cyclones  coming  nosing 
about  here,  he  wants  his  dried-apple  machine 
180 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

insured  anyhow.  It's  a  fine  machine,  and 
every  kind  of  fruit  as  is  left  over  each  night 
comes  out  jam  next  day,  while  all  the  vege- 
tables make  breakfast  food.  He  says  it's  a 
wonder." 

"What  makes  him  think  we're  going  to 
have  a  cyclone?"  inquired  Mrs.  Macy  anx- 
iously. 

"He  says  the  weather  is  cyclony.  And  he 
says  if  I  feel  queer  that's  a  sign,  for  I'm  a 
sensitive  nature." 

"I  never — "  said  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"No,  nor  me,  neither.  But  Mr.  Kimball 
seemed  to  feel  there  wasn't  no  doubt.  He 
says  I'm  just  the  kind  of  sensitive  nature  as 
could  feel  a  cyclone.  Why,  he  says  cyclones 
take  the  roofs  off  the  houses !" 

"Ow !"  cried  Gran'ma  Mullins  in  surprise. 

"If  one's  coming,  I'm  glad  to  know,  for  I 
never  see  one  near  to,"  said  Mrs.  Macy  pen- 
sively. 

"You  won't  see  it  a  tall,"  said  Susan,  "for 
Mr.  Kimball  says  the  only  safe  place  in  a 
cyclone  is  the  cellar;  and  to  pull  a  kitchen 
181 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

table  over  you  to  keep  the  house  from 
squashing  you  flat  when  it  caves  in." 

"My  heavens  alive!"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"That's  what  he  said.  But  he  says  not  to 
worry,  for  the  young  man  told  him  as  they're 
getting  so  common  no  one  notices  them  any 
more.  He  says  they're  always  going  hop, 
skip,  and  jump  over  Kansas  and  everywhere, 
and  no  one  pays  no  attention  to  'em.  He 
knows  all  about  it.  But  he  wanted  it  clear 
as  he  was  only  insuring  for  cyclones;  he 
says  his  firm  wouldn't  have  nothing  to  do 
with  tornadoes.  You  can  get  as  much  on  a 
cyclone  as  on  a  fire,  but  you  can't  get  a  penny 
on  a  tornado — " 

"What's  the  diff— "  asked  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins. 

"That's  the  trouble;  nobody  can  just  tell. 
A  cyclone  is  wind  and  lightning  mixed  by 
combustion  and  drove  forward  by  expulsion, 
the  young  man  told  Mr.  Kimball.  He  said 
they'd  got  cyclones  all  worked  out,  and  they 
can  average  'em  up  same  as  everything  else, 
but  he  says  a  tornado  is  something  as  no  man 
182 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

can  get  hold  of,  and  no  man  will  ever  be  able 
to  study.  Tornadoes  drive  nails  through 
fences— " 

"Where  do  they  get  the  nails?"  asked 
Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"I  d'n  know.  Pick  'em  out  of  the  fences 
first,  I  guess.  And  they  strip  the  feathers 
off  chickens  and  scoop  up  haystacks  and 
carry  them  up  in  the  air  for  good  and  all." 

"Oh,  my!"  cried  Mrs.  Macy. 

"Mr.  Kimball  said  the  young  man  told  him 
that  a  tornado  dug  up  a  complete  marsh  once 
in  Minnesota  and  spread  it  out  upside  down 
on  top  of  a  wood  a  little  ways  off ;  and  when 
there's  a  tornado  anywhere  near,  the  sew- 
ing-machines all  tick  like  they  was  tele- 
graphing." 

"No!"  cried  Mrs.  Macy. 

"Yes,  the  young  man  said  so." 

''But  do  you  believe  him?" 

"I  don't  know  why  not.  I  wouldn't  be- 
lieve Mr.  Kimball  because  he's  always  fix- 
ing up  his  stories  to  sound  better  than  they 
really  are,  which  makes  me  have  very  little 

183 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

faith  in  him ;  but  Judge  Fitch  says  he'd  make 
a  splendid  witness  for  any  one  just  on  that 
very  account.  Judge  Fitch  says  with  a  little 
well-advised  help  Mr.  Kimball  would  carry 
convictions  to  any  man, — he  don't  except 
none, — but  I  see  no  reason  why  the  young 
man  wasn't  telling  the  truth.  Young  men 
do  tell  the  truth  sometimes ;  most  everybody 
does  that.  A  tornado  catches  up  pigs  and 
carries  'em  miles  and  pulls  up  trees  by  the 
roots.  I  don't  wonder  they  won't  insure 
'em." 

"The  pigs?"  asked  Mrs.  Macy. 

"No,  the  tornadoes." 

"What's  the  signs  of  a  tornado?"  asked 
Gran'ma  Mullins  uneasily. 

"Well,  the  signs  is  alike  for  both.  The 
signs  is  weather  like  to-day  and  a  kind  of 
breathlessness  like  to-night.  Mr.  Kimball 
says  a  funnel-shaped  cloud  is  a  great  sign; 
and  when  you  see  it,  in  three  minutes  it's  on 
you,  and  off  goes  your  roof  if  it's  a  cyclone, 
and  off  you  go  yourself  if  it's  a  tornado." 

"My  heavens  alive!"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
184 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

clutching  the  arms  of  her  old-gold-plush 
stationary  rocker. 

"Do  people  ever  come  down  again?" 
Gran'ma  Mullins  inquired;  she  was  very 
pale. 

"Elijah  didn't,  Mr.  Kimball  says." 

"Elijah  Doxey?"  cried  Mrs.  Macy. 
"Why,  is  he  off  on  a  cyclone  ?  No  one  ever 
told  me." 

"No,  Elijah  in  the  Bible,  you  know.  The 
Elijah  as  was  caught  up  in  a  chariot  of  fire. 
Mr.  Kimball  says  there  ain't  a  mite  of  doubt 
in  his  mind  but  that  it  was  a  tornado.  I 
guess  Mr.  Kimball  told  the  truth  that  time, 
for  it's  all  in  the  Bible." 

"That's  true,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins.  "I 
remember  Elijah  myself.  He  kept  a  tame 
raven,  seems  to  me,  or  some  such  thing." 

"Oh,  Susan !"  Mrs.  Lathrop  cried  out  sud- 
denly. "There's  a  fun — "  Her  voice 
failed  her;  she  raised  her  hand  and  pointed. 

Susan  turned  quickly,  and  her  face  be- 
came suddenly  gray-white.  "It  can't  be  a 
cy — "  she  faltered. 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

With  that  all  four  women  jumped  differ- 
ent ways  at  once. 

"Where  shall  we  go?"  shrieked  Mrs. 
Macy.  "Oh,  saints  and  sinners  preserve  us ! 
Oh,  Susan,  where  shall  we  go?" 

But  Susan  Clegg  stood  as  if  paralyzed, 
staring  straight  at  the  funnel-shaped  cloud. 

Gran'ma  Mullins  started  for  her  own 
house;  Mrs.  Lathrop  sprang  up  and  clasped 
the  piazza  post  nearest ;  Mrs.  Macy  grabbed 
her  skirts  up  at  both  sides  and  faced 
the  cyclone  just  as  she  had  once  faced  the 
cow. 

The  funnel-shaped  cloud  came  sweeping 
towards  them.  The  town  was  between,  and 
a  darkness  and  a  mighty  roar  arose.  Build- 
ings seemed  falling;  the  din  was  terri- 
ble. 

"I  knew  it,"  said  Susan  grimly.  "It  is  a 
cyclone!"  She  faced  the  worst — standing 
erect. 

The  next  instant  the  storm  was  on  them 
all.  It  lifted  Mrs.  Lathrop's  old-gold-plush 
stationary  rocker  and  hurled  it  at  that  good 
186 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

lady,  smashing  her  hard  against  the  post. 
It  raised  the  roof  of  Mrs.  Macy's  house  and 
dropped  it  like  an  extinguisher  over  the  flee- 
ing form  of  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"Oh,  Gran'ma  Mullins,  it  is  a  cyclone!" 
Susan  shrieked.  But  Gran'ma  Mullins  an- 
swered not. 

A  second  mighty  burst  of  fury  blew  down 
two  trees,  and  it  blew  Susan  herself  back 
against  the  side  wall  of  the  house  which 
shook  and  swayed  like  a  bit  of  cardboard. 

"Oh,  yes,  it's  a  cyclone,"  Susan  screamed 
over  and  over.  "Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  it's  a 
real  cyclone !  It  isn't  a  tornado ;  you  can  see 
the  difference  now.  It's  a  cyclone;  look  at 
the  roof;  it's  a  cyclone!" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  could  see  nothing.  She  and 
the  old-gold-plush  stationary  rocker  were  all 
piled  together  under  the  piazza  post. 

And  now  came  the  third  and  worst  burst 
of  fury.  It  crashed  on  the  blacksmith's 
shop;  it  carried  the  sails  of  the  windmill 
swooping  down  the  road,  and  then  "without 
halting,  without  rest"  lifted  Mrs.  Macy  with 

187 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

her  outspread  skirts  and  carried  her  straight 
up  in  the  air.  "Oh!  Oh!"  she  shrieked  and 
sailed  forth. 

Susan  gave  a  piercing  yell.  "Oh,  Mrs. 
Macy,  it's  a  tornado,  it's  a  tornado!"  But 
Mrs.  Macy  answered  not. 

Tipping,  swaying,  ducking  to  the  right  or 
left,  she  flew  majestically  away  over  her 
own  roof  first  and  then  over  that  of  Gran'ma 
Mullins'  woodshed. 

"Help!  Help!"  cried  Gran'ma  Mullins 
from  under  the  roof. 

Mrs.  Lathrop  was  oblivious  to  all,  smashed 
by  her  own  old-gold-plush  stationary  rocker. 

Susan  Clegg  stood  as  one  fascinated,  star- 
ing after  the  trail  which  was  all  that  was 
left  of  Mrs.  Macy. 

"It  was  a  tornado!"  she  said  over  and 
over.  "Mrs.  Macy'll  always  believe  in  the 
Bible  now,  I  guess.  It  was  a  tornado!  It 
was  a  tornado !" 

"No,  they  ain't  found  her  yet,"   Susan 
said,  coming  into  the  hotel  room  where  Mrs. 
188 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Lathrop  and  Gran'ma  Mullins  had  found  a 
pleasant  and  comfortable  refuge  and  were 
occupied  in  recuperating  together  at  Ja- 
throp's  expense.  Neither  lady  was  seri- 
ously injured.  Gran'ma  Mullins  had  been 
preserved  from  even  a  wetting  through  the 
neat  capping  of  her  climax  by  Mrs.  Macy's 
roof;  while  Mrs.  Lathrop's  squeeze  between 
the  piazza,  post  and  her  well  beloved  old- 
gold-plush  stationary  rocker  had  not — as 
Gran'ma  Mullins  put  it — so  much  as  turned 
a  hair  of  even  the  rocker. 

"No  one's  heard  anything  from  her  yet," 
continued  Susan,  "but  that  ain't  so  surpris- 
ing as  it  would  be  if  anybody  had  time  to 
want  to  know.  But  nobody's  got  time  for 
nothing  to-day.  The  town's  in  a  awful  tak- 
ing, and  I  d'n  know  as  I  ever  see  a  worse 
situation.  You  two  want  to  be  very  grate- 
ful as  you're  so  nicely  and  neatly  laid  aside, 
for  what  has  descended  on  the  community 
now  is  worse'n  any  cyclone,  and  if  you  could 
get  out  and  see  what  the  cyclone's  done, 
you'd  know  what  that  means." 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"Was  you  to  my  house,  Susan?"  asked 
Gran'ma  Mullins  anxiously. 

"I  was ;  but  the  insurance  men  was  before 
me,  or  anyhow,  we  met  there." 

'The  insurance  men !" 

"That's  what  I  said, — the  insurance  men. 
Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  we  all  know  one  side  of 
what  it  is  to  insure  ourselves,  but  now  the 
Lord  in  his  infinite  wrath  has  mercifully 
seen  fit  to  show  us  the  other  side.  The  As- 
syrian pouncing  down  on  the  wolf  in  his 
fold  is  a  young  mother  wrapping  up  her  first 
baby  to  look  out  the  window  compared  to 
those  insurance  men.  They  descended  on  us 
bright  and  shining  to-day,  and  if  we  was 
murderers  with  our  families  buried  under 
the  kitchen  floor,  we  couldn't  be  looked  on 
with  more  suspicion.  I  was  far  from 
pleased  when  I  first  laid  eyes  on  'em,  for 
there's  a  foxiness  in  any  city  man  as  comes 
to  settle  things  in  the  country  as  is  far  from 
being  either  soothing  or  syrupy  to  him  as 
lives  in  the  country;  but  you  can  maybe 
imagine  my  feelings  when  they  very  plainly 
190 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

informed  me  as  I  couldn't  put  the  roof  back 
on  Mrs.  Macy's  house  till  it  was  settled 
whether  it  was  a  cyclone  or  a  tornado — " 

"Settled — whether — "  cried  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Cyclone  or  tornado,"  repeated  Susan. 
"The  first  thing  isn't  to  get  to  rights,  but  it 
is  to  settle  whether  we've  got  any  rights  to 
get.  I  never  dreamed  what  it  was  to  be  in- 
jured— no,  or  no  one  else  neither.  Seems  if 
it's  a  tornado,  we  don't  get  a  cent  of  our  in- 
surance. And  to  think  it  all  depends  on 
Mrs.  Macy." 

"On  Mrs. — "  cried  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"Yes,  because  she's  the  only  one  as  really 
knows  whether  she  was  carried  off  or  not. 
Well,  all  I  can  say  is,  if  she  don't  come  back 
pretty  quick,  we're  going  to  have  a  little 
John  Brown  raid  right  here  in  town; 
we—" 

"But  what—?" 

"I'm  telling  you.  It'll  be  the  town  rising 
up  against  the  insurance  men,  and  the  in- 
surance men  will  soon  find  that  when  it 
191 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

comes  to  dilly-dallying  with  folks  newl> 
cycloned  upside  down,  it's  life  and  death  if 
you  don't  deal  fair.  What  with  chimneys 
down  and  roofs  turned  up  at  the  corner  like 
the  inquiring  angels  didn't  have  time  to  take 
the  cover  all  off  but  just  pried  up  a  little  to 
see  what  was  inside, — I  say  with  all  this  and 
everything  wet  and  Mrs.  Macy  gone,  this 
community  was  in  no  mood  to  be  sealed 
up-" 

"Sealed  up!"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop  and 
Gran'ma  Mullins  together. 

"That's  what  it  is.  Sealed  up  we  are,  and 
sealed  up  we've  got  to  stay  until  Mrs.  Macy 
gets  back — " 

"But — "  cried  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"Everybody's  just  as  mad  as  you  are. 
Charging  bulls  is  setting  hens  beside  this 
town  to-night.  Even  Mr.  Kimball's  mad  for 
once,  in  his  life ;  he's  losing  money  most  awful, 
for  he  can't  sell  so  much  as  a  paper  of  tacks. 
They've  got  both  his  doors  and  all  his  win- 
dows sealed,  and  he's  standing  out  in  front 
with  nothing  to  do  except  to  keep  a  sharp  eye 
192 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

out  for  Mrs.  Macy.  He  says  it  ain't  in 
reason  to  expect  as  she'll  fly  back,  but  she's 
got  to  come  from  somewhere,  and  he  means 
to  prevent  her  getting  away  again  on  the  sly. 
He  says  his  opinion  is  as  she'd  have  stood  a 
better  chance  before  airships  was  so  com- 
mon. He  says  ten  years  ago  folks  would 
have  took  steps  for  hooking  at  her  just  as 
quick  as  they  saw  her  coming  along,  but 
nowadays  it'd  be  a  pretty  brave  man  as 
would  try  to  stop  anything  he  saw  flying 
overhead.  I  guess  he's  about  right  there. 
It's  a  hard  question  to  know  what  to  do  with 
things  that  fly,  even  if  Mrs.  Macy  hadn't 
took  to  it,  too.  My  view  is  that  we  advance 
faster  than  we  can  learn  how  to  manage 
our  new  inventions.  I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure, 
though,  what  Mrs.  Macy  is  going  to  do  about 
this  trip  of  hers.  She  went  without  even 
the  moment's  notice  as  folks  in  a  hurry  al- 
ways has  had  up  to  now.  She's  been  gone 
most  twenty-four  hours.  She's  skipped 
three  meals  already,  not  to  speak  of  her  night 
and  her  nap;  and  you  know  as  well  as  I  do 
193 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

how  Mrs.  Macy  was  give  to  her  nights  and 
her  napping." 

Susan  shook  her  head,  and  Mrs.  Lathrop 
looked  wide-eyed  and  alarmed. 

"But  now — "  Gran'ma  Mullins  asked. 

"I've  been  all  over  the  place,"  Susan  con- 
tinued. "I  didn't  understand  fully  what 
was  up  when  I  scurried  off  to  try  and  get 
those  men  to  put  the  roof  back  on  Mrs. 
Macy's  house,  but  I  know  it  all  now.  It's 
no  use  trying  to  get  anybody  to  do  nothing 
now;  the  whole  town's  upside  down  and  in- 
side out.  I  never  see  nothing  like  it.  And 
the  insurance  men  has  got  it  laid  down  flat 
as  nobody  can't  touch  nothing  till  it's  settled 
whether  it's  a  cyclone  or  a  tornado.  Seems 
a  good  many  was  insured  for  cyclones  right 
in  with  their  fires  without  knowing  it;  but 
there  ain't  a  soul  in  the  place  insured  against 
a  tornado,  because  you  can't  get  any  insur- 
ance against  tornadoes — no  one  will  insure 
them.  The  insurance  men  say  if  it's  a  tor- 
nado, we  won't  have  nothing  to  do  except  to 
do  the  best  we  can;  but  if  it's  a  cyclone,  we 
194 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

mus'n't  touch  anything  till  they  can  get 
some  one  to  judge  what's  worth  saving  and 
how  much  it's  worth  and  deduct  that  from 
our  insurance.  That's  how  it  is." 

"But  what  has — ?"  began  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins. 

"How  long — ?"  demanded  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Nobody  knows,"  said  Susan.  "The 
whole  town  is  asking,  and  nobody  knows. 
The  insurance  company  won't  let  anybody 
go  home  or  get  anything  unless  they'll  sign 
a  paper  giving  up  their  insurance  and  swear- 
ing that  it  was  a  tornado.  Mr.  Dill  just 
had  to  sign  the  paper  because  he  was  taking 
a  bath  and  had  nothing  except  the  table 
cover  to  wear.  He  signed  the  paper  and 
said  he'd  swear  anything  if  only  for  his 
shoes  alone ;  and  it  seems  that  his  house  isn't 
hurt  a  mite,  and  he  didn't  have  no  insurance 
anyhow.  A  good  many  is  blaming  him,  but 
he  says  he  really  couldn't  think  of  anything 
in  the  excitement  and  the  table  cloth.  It's 
a  awful  state  of  things.  The  cyclone  has 
tore  everything  to  pieces,  and  the  insurance 
195 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

men  has  put  their  seal  on  the  chips.  People 
is  being  drove  to  all  lengths.  The  minister 
and  his  family  is  camping  in  the  henhouse. 
Our  walls  is  fell  in  so  goodness  knows  what 
will  happen  to  you  and  me  next,  Mrs.  La- 
throp.  The  wires  is  all  down,  so  we  can't 
hear  nothing  about  the  storm.  The  rails  is 
all  up,  so  there's  no  trains.  The  church  is 
stove  in,  so  we  can't  pray.  But  I  must  say 
as  to  my  order  of  thinking,  it  looks  as  if  no 
one  feels  like  praying.  The  insurance  men 
is  running  all  over,  like  winged  ants  hatch- 
ing out,  sealing  up  more  doors  and  more 
windows  every  minute  and  getting  more 
signatures  as  it  was  a  tornado  before 
they'll  unstick  them.  Nothing  can't  be 
really  settled  till  Mrs.  Macy  conies  back. 
Mrs.  Macy  is  the  key  to  the  whole  situa- 
tion." 

"But  why—?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"The  Jilkins  is  in  from  Cherry  Pond,  and 

all  it  did  there  was  to  rain.     The  Sperrits 

was  in,  too,  and  the  storm  was  most  singular 

with  them.     It  hailed  in  the  sunshine  till 

I96 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

they  see  four  rainbows — they  never  see  the 
beat.  Mr.  Weskins  is  advising  everybody 
to  go  into  their  houses  and  make  a  test  case 
of  it.  Judge  Fitch  is  advising  everybody  not 
to.  It's  plain  as  he's  on  the  side  of  the  in- 
surance men.  He  says  just  as  they  do,  that 
we'd  better  wait  till  Mrs.  Macy  comes  back 
and  hear  her  story.  He  says  in  the  very  na- 
ture of  things  her  view'll  be  a  most  general 
one.  He  says  all  there  is  to  know  she'll 
know;  she'll  know  the  area  affected  and  be 
able  to  tell  whether  it  was  electricity  or  just 
wind.  Mr.  Kimball  said  if  she  went  far 
enough,  she'd  be  a  star  witness;  but  no  one 
thinks  that  jokes  about  Mrs.  Macy  ought  to 
be  told  now.  The  situation  is  too  serious. 
It  may  be  very  serious  for  Mrs.  Macy.  If 
the  storm  stopped  sudden,  it  may  be  very 
serious  indeed  for  Mrs.  Macy.  Mrs.  Macy 
isn't  as  young  as  she  was,  and  she  hadn't  the 
least  idea  of  leaving  town;  she  wasn't  a  bit 
prepared,  that  we  can  all  swear  to.  She  was 
just  carried  away  by  a  sudden  impulse — as 
you  might  say — and  the  main  question  is  how 
197 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

far  did  she  get  on  her  impulse,  and  where  is 
she  now  ?  To  my  order  of  thinking,  it  all  de- 
pends on  how  she  come  down.  Cycloning 
along  like  she  was,  if  she  come  down  on  a 
pond  or  a  peak,  she'll  be  far  from  finding  it 
funny.  I  was  thinking  about  her  all  the  way 
here,  and  I  can't  think  of  any  way  as'll  be 
easy  for  her  to  come  to  earth,  no  matter  how 
she  comes.  And  if  she  hits  hard,  she  isn't 
going  to  like  it.  Mrs.  Macy  was  never  one  as 
took  a  joke  pleasant ;  she  never  made  light  of 
nothing.  She  took  life  very  solemn-like — a 
owl  was  a  laughing  hyena  compared  to  Mrs. 
Macy.  It's  too  bad  she  was  that  way.  My 
own  view  is  as  she  never  got  over  not  getting 
married  again.  Some  women  don't.  She 
always  took  it  as  a  reflection.  There's  no  re- 
flection to  not  getting  married ;  my  opinion  is 
as  there's  a  deal  of  things  more  important 
and  most  thing's  more  comfortable.  If  Mrs. 
Macy  was  married,  she'd  be  much  worse  off 
than  she  is  right  now,  for  instead  of  being 
able  to  give  her  whole  time  and  attention  to 
whatever  she's  doing  and  looking  over,  she'd 

198 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

be  wondering  what  he  was  giving  his  time 
and  attention  to  doing  and  prying  into. 
When  a  man's  out  of  your  sight,  you've  al- 
ways got  to  wonder,  and  most  of  the  time 
that's  all  in  the  world  you  can  do  about  a 
man.  Now  Mrs.  Macy's  perfectly  independ- 
ent, she  can  go  where  she  pleases  and  come 
down  when  she  pleases,  and  she  hasn't  got 
to  tell  what  she  saw  unless  she  wants  to. 
Mrs.  Brown  says  she  ain't  never  been  no- 
where. It's  plain  to  be  seen  as  Mrs.  Brown's 
envying  Mrs.  Macy  her  trip." 

"But  why — ?"  began  Gran'ma  Mullins 
with  great  determination. 

"That's  just'  it,"  replied  Susan  promptly. 
"I  declare,  I  can't  but  wonder  what'll  happen 
next.  I'm  in  that  state  that  nothing  will  sur- 
prise me.  Everything's  so  upset  and  off  the 
track  there's  no  use  even  trying  to  think. 
My  walls  is  fell  into  my  cistern,  and  Mrs. 
Macy's  roof  is  sitting  on  the  ground  beside 
her  house  yet.  The  insurance  men  has  sealed 
up  Gran'ma  Mullins'  house,  and  they 
wouldn't  leave  the  henhouse  open  till  I  signed 
199 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

a  affidavit  on  behalf  of  the  hens  and  released 
'em  from  all  claims  for  feed.  Mr.  Dill  said 
they  tried  to  seal  up  his  cow.  They've  got 
Mr.  Kimball's  dried-apple  machine  tied  with 
a  rope.  It's  awful." 

"But  Susan — "  interrupted  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins. 

"Mr.  Weskins  says  the  great  difficulty  is 
the  insurance  men  say  they  don't  see  how 
anything  is  going  to  be  settled  or  decided  un- 
til we  hear  from  Mrs.  Macy.  The  point's 
right  here.  If  she  comes  back,  it's  evidence 
as  it  was  a  tornado,  because  if  she  comes  back 
it  proves  as  she  was  carried  off,  in  which  case 
the  insurance  men  won't  have  to  pay  nothing 
anyhow,  and  we'll  all  be  unsealed  and  allowed 
to  go  to  work  putting  our  roofs  back  on  our 
heads  and  clearing  up  as  fast  as  we  can.  But 
Mr.  Weskins  says  if  Mrs.  Macy  don't  come 
back,  there'll  be  no  way  to  prove  as  she  was 
even  carried  off  by  the  storm  for  you,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  had  your  back  turned;  and  you, 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  was  under  the  roof;  and 
I'm  only  one,  and  it  takes  two  witnesses  to 
200 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

prove  anything  as  is  contrary  to  law  and  na- 
ture." 

"Do  they  doubt — ?"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
quite  excited — for  her. 

"Yes,  they  do.  They  doubt  everything. 
Insurance  men  don't  take  nothing  for 
granted.  They've  decided  to  just  pin  their 
whole  case  to  Mrs.  Macy,  and  there's  Mrs. 
Macy  gone  away  to,  heaven  knows  where." 

"Well,  Susan,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins,  "we 
must  look  on  the  bright  side.  Mrs.  Macy'll 
have  something  to  talk  about  as'll  always  in- 
terest everybody  if  she  does  come  back,  and  if 
she  don't  come  back,  we'll  always  have  her  to 
remember." 

"Yes,  and  if  we  don't  get  our  houses  un- 
stuck pretty  soon,  we'll  remember  her  a  long 
while,"  said  Susan  darkly. 

Three  days  passed  by  and  no  word  was 
heard  from  Mrs.  Macy.  As  soon  as  the  tele- 
graph assumed  its  usual  route,  messages  .were 
sent  all  about  in  the  direction  whither  she  had 
flown,  but  not  a  trace  of  her  was  discovered 
by  any  one.  The  town  was  very  much 
20 1 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

wrought  up,  for  although  its  members  were 
given  to  having  strange  experiences,  no  ex- 
perience so  strange  as  this  had  ever  happened 
there  before.  The  exasperation  of  being 
barred  out  of  house  and  home  until  Mrs. 
Macy  should  be  found,  naturally  heightened 
the  interest.  Everybody  had  had  just  time  to 
add  the  magic  word  "cyclone"  to  their  policies 
before  the  cyclone  came  "damaging  along" 
— as  Susan  Clegg  expressed  it.  Susan  was 
much  perturbed. 

"Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop," — she  said  on  the 
afternoon  of  the  third  day,  as  she  came  into 
the  hotel  room  where  the  mother  of  the  mil- 
lionaire was  now  equal  to  her  usual  vigorous 
exercise  in  her  old-gold-plush  stationary 
rocker.  "Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you  may  well 
be  grateful  as  Jathrop  has  got  money  enough 
for  us  to  be  living  here,  for  the  living  of  the 
community  is  getting  to  be  no  living  a  tall." 

Gran'ma  Mullins,  still  in  bed,  turned  her- 
self about  and  manifested  a  vivid  interest, 
"Well,  Susan,"  she  said,  "it's  three  days  now; 
how  long  is  this  going  to  keep  up  ?" 
202 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"It  can't  keep  up  very  much  longer,  or 
we'll  have  a  new  French  Revolution,  that's 
what  we'll  have,"  said  Susan.  "Why,  the 
community  is  getting  where  it  won't  stand 
even  being  said  good  morning  to  pleasantly. 
The  children  is  running  all  over,  pulling  each 
other's  hair,  and  Deacon  White  says  he's  go- 
ing to  buy  a  pistol.  Things  is  come  to  a 
pretty  pass  when  Deacon  White  wants  to 
buy  a  pistol,  for  he's  just  as  afraid  of  one  end 
as  the  other.  But  it's  a  straw  as  shows 
which  way  the  cyclone  blew  his  house." 

"But  isn't  something — ?" 

"Something  has  got  to  be  done.  The  boys 
stretched  a  string  across  the  door  of  the  in- 
surance men's  room  this  morning,  and  they 
fell  in  a  heap  when  they  started  out ;  and  some 
one  as  nobody  can  locate  poured  a  pitcher  of 
ice  water  through  the  ventilator  as  is  over 
their  bed.  Seeing  that  public  feeling  is  on 
the  rise,  they  sent  right  after  breakfast  for 
the  appraisers,  and  they're  going  to  begin  ap- 
praising and  un-sealing  to-morrow  morning. 
They've  entirely  give  up  the  idea  of  waiting 
203 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

for  Mrs.  Macy.  The  town  just  won't  stand 
for  any  more  hanging  around  waiting  for 
nothing.  I  never  see  us  so  before.  Every 
one  is  so  upset  and  divided  in  their  feelings 
that  some  think  we'd  ought  to  horsewhip  the 
insurance  men,  and  some  think  we'd  ought  to 
hold  a  burial  service  for  Mrs.  Macy." 

"I  wouldn't  see  any  good  in  holding  a  serv- 
ice for  Mrs.  Macy,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins. 
"She  wouldn't  have  been  buried  here  if  she 
was  dead;  she  was  always  planning  to  go  to 
Meadville  when  she  was  dead." 

"Yes,"  said  Susan,  "I  know.  Because  Mrs. 
Lupey's  got  that  nice  lot  with  that  nice 
mausoleum  as  she  bought  from  the  Penny- 
backers  when  they  got  rich  and  moved  even 
their  great-grandfather  to  the  city." 

"I  remember  the  Pennybackers,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins.  "Old  man  Pennybacker 
used  to  drive  a  cart  for  rags.  It  was  a  great 
day  for  the  Pennybackers  when  Joe  went 
into  the  pawnbroker  business." 

"Yes,"  said  Susan,  "it's  wonderful  how 
rich  men  manage  to  get  on  when  they're 
204 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

young.  Seems  as  if  there's  just  no  way  to 
crowd  a  millionaire  out  of  business  or  kill 
him  off.  I'm  always  reading  what  they  went 
through  in  the  papers,  but  it  never  helped 
none.  A  millionaire  is  a  thing  as  when  it's 
going  to  be  is  going  to  be,  and  you've  just  got 
to  let  'em  do  it  once  they  get  started." 

"It  was  a  nice  mausoleum,"  said  Gran'ma 
Mullins.  "Mrs.  Macy  has  told  me  about  it  a 
hundred  times.  It's  so  big,  Mrs.  Lupey  says, 
she  can  live  up  to  her  hospitable  nature  at 
last,  for  there's  room  for  all  and  to  spare. 
Mrs.  Macy  was  the  first  person  she  asked. 
Mrs.  Macy  thought  that  was  very  kind  of 
just  a  cousin.  There's  only  Mrs.  Kitts 
there,  now,  and  Mrs.  Lupey's  aunt,  Mrs. 
Cogetts." 

"Mrs.  Macy  didn't  know  she  had  a  aunt," 
said  Susan.  "Mrs.  Cogetts  came  way  from 
Jacoma  just  on  account  of  the  mausoleum. 
That's  a  long  ways  to  come  just  to  save  pay- 
ing for  a  lot  where  you  are,  seems  to  me ;  but 
some  natures'll  go  to  any  lengths  to  save 
money." 

205 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I  wonder  where  Mrs.  Macy  is  now,"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  with  a  sigh. 

"Nobody  knows.  A  good  many  is  decided 
that  it's  surely  a  clear  case  of  Elijah,  only 
nobody  pretends  to  believe  in  the  Bible  so 
much  as  to  think  that  she  can  go  up  and  stay 
there.  Mrs.  Macy'd  have  to  come  down,  and 
the  higher  she  went  the  more  heaven  help 
her  when  she  does  come  down.  Mrs.  Macy 
was  very  solid,  as  we  all  know  who've  heard 
her  sit  down  or  seen  her  get  up,  and  I  can't 
see  no  happy  ending  ahead,  even  though  we 
all  wish  her  well.  The  insurance  men  is  very 
blue  over  her  not  coming  back,  for  they  ex- 
pected to  prove  a  tornado  sure ;  but  even  in- 
surance men  can't  have  the  whole  world  run 
to  suit  them  these  days.  Anyhow,  my  view  is 
as  it's  no  use  worrying.  Spilt  milk's  a  poor 
thing  to  cook  with.  If  you're  in  the  fire,  you 
ain't  in  the  frying-pan.  The  real  sufferers  is 
this  community,  as  is  all  locked  out  of  their 
houses.  The  Browns  is  living  in  the  cellar 
to  the  cowshed,  with  two  lengths  of  sidewalk 
laid  over  them.  Mrs.  Brown  says  she  feels 
206 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

like  a  Pilgrim  Father,  and  she  sees  why  they 
got  killed  off  so  fast  by  the  Indians, — it  was 
so  much  easier  to  be  scalped  than  to  do  your 
hair.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Craig  takes  turns  at  one 
hammock  all  night  long.  Mrs.  Craig  says 
they  change  regular,  for  whoever  turns  over 
spills  out,  and  the  other  one  is  sitting  looking 
at  the  moon  and  waiting  all  ready  to  get 
in." 

"I  declare,  Susan,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins 
warmly,  "I  think  it's  most  shocking.  I  won't 
say  outrageous,  but  I  will  say  shocking." 

"But  what  are  you  going  to  do  about  it?" 
said  Susan.  "That's  the  rub  in  this  country. 
There's  plenty  as  is  shocking,  but  here  we  sit 
at  the  mercy  of  any  cyclone  or  Congress  as 
comes  along.  Here  we  was,  peaceful,  happy, 
and  loving,  and  a  cyclone  swishes  through. 
Down  comes  half  a  dozen  men  from  the  city 
and  seals  up  everything  in  town.  I  tell  you 
you  ought  to  have  heard  me  when  they  was 
sealing  up  your  house  and  Mrs.  Macy's.  I 
give  it  to  'em,  and  I  didn't  mince  matters 
none.  I  spoke  my  whole  mind,  and  it  was  a 
207 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

great  satisfaction,  but  they  went  right  on  and 
sealed  up  the  houses." 

"Oh,  Susan,"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop,  "how 
are—?" 

"All  in  ruins,"  replied  Susan  promptly. 
"I  don't  believe  you  and  me  is  ever  going  to 
live  in  happy  homes  any  more.  Fate  seems 
dead  set  against  the  idea.  And  nobody  can 
get  ahead  of  Fate.  They  may  talk  all  they 
please  about  overcoming,  and  when  I  was 
young  I  was  always  charging  along  with  my 
horns  down  and  my  tail  waving  same  as  every 
other  young  thing ;  but  I'm  older  now,  and  I 
see  as  resignation  is  the  only  thing  as  really 
pays  in  the  end.  I  get  as  mad  as  ever,  but  I 
stay  meek.  I  wanted  to  lam  those  insurance 
men  with  a  stick  of  wood  as  was  lying  most 
handy,  but  all  I  did  was  to  walk  home.  Mr. 
Shores  says  he's  just  the  same  way.  We  was 
talking  it  over  this  morning.  He  says  when 
his  wife  first  run  off  with  his  clerk,  he  was 
nigh  to  crazy;  he  says  he  thought  getting 
along  without  a  wife  was  going  to  just  drive 
him  out  of  his  senses,  and  he  said  her  taking 
208 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  clerk  just  seemed  to  add  insult  to  perjury, 
but  he  says  now,  as  he  gets  older,  he  finds  hav- 
ing no  wife  a  great  comfort." 

"I  wish  Jathrop  would — "  sighed  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Well,  he  will,  likely  enough,"  said  Susan. 
"Now  he's  rich,  some  girl  will  snap  him  up, 
and  he  won't  find  how  he's  been  fooled  till 
three  or  four  months  after  the  wedding." 

"I  suppose  Jathrop  could  marry  just  any 
one  he  pleased  now,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins, 
sighing  in  her  turn.  "Hiram  didn't  have  no 
choice ;  Jathrop'll  have  a  choice." 

"He  may  be  none  the  better  for  that,"  said 
Susan  darkly.  "If  Jathrop  Lathrop  is  wise, 
he'll  not  go  routing  wildly  around  like  a 
president  after  a  elephant;  he'll  stick  to 
what's  tried  and  true.  But  I  have  my  doubt 
as  to  Jathrop's  being  wise ;  very  few  men  with 
money  have  any  sense." 

"Who  do  you  think — ?"  began  Mrs.  La- 
throp, looking  intently  at  Susan. 

"I  d'n  know,"  said  Susan,  looking  hard  at 
Mrs.  Lathrop ;  "far  be  it  from  me  to  judge." 
209 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"They  do  say,  Susan,"  said  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins  wisely,  "as  he'll  end  up  by  marrying  you. 
Everybody  says  so." 

Susan  shook  her  head  hard.  "It's  not  for 
me  to  say.  Affairs  has  been  going  on  and 
off  between  Jathrop  and  me  for  too  many 
years  now  for  me  to  begin  to  discuss  them. 
What  is  to  be  will  be,  and  what  isn't  to  be 
can't  possibly  be  brought  about." 

Gran'ma  Mullins  sighed  again,  and  Mrs. 
Lathrop  went  on  rocking.  As  she  rocked, 
she  viewed  Susan  Clegg  from  time  to  time  in 
a  speculative  manner.  It  was  many,  many 
years  since  she  had  suggested  to  Susan  the 
idea  of  marrying  Jathrop. 

It  was  the  next  morning  that  Mrs.  Macy 
re-appeared  on  the  scene.  The  insurance 
men  had  unsealed  all  the  houses,  and  the  re- 
sult was  her  discovery. 

"Well,  you  could  drown  me  for  a  new-born 
kitten,  and  I'd  never  open  my  eyes  in  sur- 
prise after  this,"  Susan  expounded  to  the 
friends  at  the  hotel.  "But  Mrs.  Macy  al- 
210 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ways  was  peculiar;  she  was  always  give  to 
adventures.  To  think  of  her  living  there  as 
snug  as  a  moth  in  a  rug,  cooking  her  meals 
on  the  little  oil-stove — " 

"But  where — ?"  interposed  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"I'm  telling  you.  She's  been  sleeping  in  a 
good  bed,  too,  and  being  perfectly  comfort- 
able while  we've  all  been  suffering  along  of 
waiting  for  her  to  come  back." 

"But  Susan — "  cried  Gran'ma  Mullins, 
wide-eyed. 

"I'll  tell  you  where  she  was;  she  was  in 
your  house — that's  where  she  was.  The  cy- 
clone just  gave  her  a  lift  over  your  woodshed, 
and  then  it  set  her  down  pretty  quick.  She 
says  she  came  to  earth  like  a  piece  of  thistle- 
down on  the  other  side.  Her  story  is  as  your 
back  door  was  open,  so  she  run  in,  and  then 
it  begun  to  rain,  so  she  saw  no  reason  for  go- 
ing out  again.  When  it  stopped  raining,  she 
looked  out  and  seen  nobody.  That  isn't  sur- 
prising, for  we  wasn't  there.  She  thought 
that  it  was  strange  not  seeing  any  lights,  but 
she  started  to  go  home,  and  she  says  what 

211 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

was  her  feelings  when  she  fell  over  her  own 
roof  in  the  path.  She  says  of  all  the  strange 
sensations  a  perfectly  respectable  woman  can 
possibly  ever  get  to  start  to  go  home  and  fall 
over  her  own  roof  is  surely  the  most  singular. 
She  says  she  was  so  sleepy  she  thought  maybe 
she  was  dreaming,  and  not  having  any  lan- 
tern, it  was  no  use  trying  to  investigate,  so 
she  just  went  back  to  your  house  and  went  to 
bed  in  my  bed.  She  says  she  dreamed  of 
Hiram's  ears  all  night  long.  I'd  completely 
forgot  Hiram's  ears,  which  is  strange,  for 
they  was  far  and  away  the  most  amusing 
things  in  this  community.  I  think  that  way 
he  could  turn  'em  about  was  so  entertaining. 
That  way  he  used  to  cock  'em  at  you  always 
give  him  the  air  of  paying  so  much  attention. 
They  say  he  never  cocked  'em  at  Lucy  but 
once — " 

"Oh,  my,  that  once!"  exclaimed  Gran'ma 
Mullins  involuntarily. 

"It  was  a  sin  and  a  shame  for  Lucy  to 
choke  Hiram's  ears  off  like  she  did,"  Susan 
declared  warmly.  "She  just  seemed  to  take 

212 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

all  the  courage  right  out  of  'em.  Hiram  al- 
ways reminded  me  of  a  black-and-tan  as  long 
as  he  had  the  free  use  of  his  ears,  but  after 
Lucy  broke  their  backbone  like  she  did,  he 
never  reminded  me  of  much  of  nothing." 
Susan  paused  to  sigh.  Gran'ma  Mullins 
wiped  her  eyes. 

"You  and  Hiram  give  up  to  Lucy  too 
much,"  said  Susan.  "I  wish  she'd  married 
me." 

"I  wish  she  had,  Susan,"  said  Gran'ma 
Mullins.  "I  wouldn't  wish  to  seem  unkind 
to  the  wife  of  my  born  and  wedded  only  son, 
but  I  do  wish  that  she'd  married  you,  and  if 
Hiram  could  only  see  Lucy  with  a  mother's 
clear  blue  eye,  he'd  wish  it,  too." 

"Where  is — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop,  desir- 
ing to  recur  to  the  main  object  under  discus- 
sion. 

"Oh,  she's  gone  straight  over  to  Mead- 
ville,"  said  Susan.  "Oh,  my,  she  says,  but 
think  of  her  feelings  as  she  sat  inside  that 
nice,  comfortable  house  and  realized  that 
she  was  the  only  person  in  town  with  a 
213 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

roof  over  her  head!  You  see,  she  heard 
me  talking  with  the  insurance  men,  and 
she  didn't  know  why  we  was  to  be  sealed 
up,  but  she  got  it  all  straight  as  we  was 
going  to  be  turned  out  of  house  and  home, 
and  she  says  she  made  up  her  mind  as 
no  one  should  ever  know  as  she  was 
in  a  house  and  so  come  capering  up  to  put 
her  out.  She  says  she  settled  down  as  still 
as  -a  mouse,  made  no  smoke,  and  never 
lit  so  much  as  a  candle  nights.  Mrs.  Macy 
is  surely  most  foxy !" 

"And  she's  gone  to  Meadville?"  said 
Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"Yes,  she  didn't  want  to  pay  board  here, 
and  her  own  house  hasn't  got  no  roof,  so 
she's  gone  to  Mrs.  Lupey.  Old  Doctor  Car- 
ter was  over  here  to  appraise  the  damage 
done  to  folks,  and  he  took  her  back  with 
him." 

"I  wonder  if  she'll  ever — "  wondered 
Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"I  d'n  know.  If  folks  talk  about  a  mar- 
riage long  enough,  it  usually  ends  up  that 
214 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

way.  Doctor  Carter  and  Mrs.  Macy  has 
been  kind  of  jumping  at  each  other  and  then 
running  away  for  fifteen  years  or  so.  They 
say  he'd  like  her  money,  but  he  hates  to  be 
bothered  with  her." 

"She  wouldn't  like  to  be  bothered  with 
him,  either,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"I  know,"  said  Susan.  "That's  what's 
making  so  few  people  like  to  get  married  now- 
adays. They  don't  want  to  be  bothered  with 
each  other." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  fixed  her  little,  black,  beady 
eyes  hard  on  Susan. 

Susan  stared  straight  ahead. 


215 


IX 

SUSAN  CLEGG'S  PRACTICAL  FRIEND 

"TVyf  RS.  SPERRIT  can't  stand  it  no 
•i-V.1.  longer,  and  she's  going  visiting," 
announced  Susan  Clegg  to  the  three  friends 
who,  seated  together  on  Mrs.  Macy's  piazza, 
had  been  awaiting  her  return  from  down- 
town. Both  Mrs.  Macy  and  Gran'ma  Mul- 
lins  were  now  back  in  their  own  houses  after 
the  temporary  absence  due  to  the  cyclone,  and 
Mrs.  Lathrop  and  she  who  might  yet  be  her 
daughter-in-law  were  reestablished  as  their 
paying  guests. 

"Why,  I  never  knew  that  Mr.  Sperrit  was 
that  kind  of  a  man,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins, 
opening  her  eyes  very  wide  indeed.  "I 
wouldn't  say  he's  han'some,  and  I  wouldn't 
say  he's  entertaining;  but  I  always  thought 
they  got  on  well  together." 
216 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"He  isn't  that  kind  of  a  man  a  tall"  re- 
joined Susan,  who  had  been  holding  one  hat- 
pin in  her  mouth  while  she  felt  for  the  other, 
but  now  freed  herself  of  both.  "It's  just 
that  Mrs.  Sperrit's  sick  of  all  this  clutter  of 
mending  up  after  the  cyclone.  She  says 
she's  nervous  for  the  first  time  in  her  life 
and  has  got  to  have  a  change.  She  says  the 
carrying  off  of  the  barn  and  its  never  being 
heard  from  any  more  has  got  on  her  nerves 
somehow,  even  if  it  was  only  a  barn.  She 
says  God  forgive  her  and  not  to  mention  it  to 
you,  Mrs.  Macy,  but  she  wishes  every  hour  of 
her  life  as  the  cyclone  had  took  you  and  left 
their  barn,  because  the  barn  had  her  sewing- 
machine  in  it,  and  she'd  as  leave  be  dead  as  be 
without  that  sewing-machine." 

"Where — ?"  mildly  interpolated  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Mr.  Sperrit  says  wherever  she  likes. 
He's  been  upset  by  the  barn  too,  because  it 
had  his  tool-chest  in  it,  and  he's  such  a  handy 
man  with  his  tools  that  he  feels  for  her  in  a 
way  as  not  many  women  get  felt  for." 
217 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

''Where  does — ?"  began  Gran'ma  Mullins. 

"She  didn't  know  at  first,  but  now  she 
thinks  she'll  go  and  stay  with  her  cousin. 
She  hasn't  had  much  to  do  with  her  cousin 
for  years,  and  she  says  she  feels  as  maybe  the 
barn  was  a  judgment.  She  never  got  along 
well  with  her  cousin.  She  says  her  cousin 
was  pretty,  with  curls,  and  she  herself  was 
freckled,  with  straight  hair,  and  so  it  was 
only  natural  as  she  always  hated  her.  I 
don't  feel  to  blame  her  none,  for  curls  is  very 
hard  on  them  as  is 'born  straight-haired. 
But  there  was  more  reasons  than  one  for 
Mrs.  Sperrit  not  to  get  along  with  her  cousin, 
and  she  says  it  never  was  so  much  the  curls 
as  it  was  her  not  being  practical.  Mrs. 
Sperrit  is  practical,  and  she's  always  been 
practical,  and  her  cousin  wasn't.  They 
didn't  speak  for  years  and  years." 

"Whatever  set  'em  at  it  again?"  asked 
Mrs.  Macy. 

"Well,  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  it  come  by  de- 
grees. She  says  she  first  noticed  as  her 
cousin  was  trying  to  make  up  about  five  years 
218 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ago,  but  she  thought  she'd  best  wait  and  be 
sure.  Mrs.  Sperrit's  practical;  she  don't 
never  look  in  anywhere  until  she's  leaped 
around  the  edge  enough  to  know  what  she's 
doing.  She  says  her  cousin  named  her  first 
boy  Gringer,  which  is  Mrs.  Sperrit's  family 
name ;  but  then,  it  is  the  cousin's  family  name, 
too,  so  she  didn't  pay  any  attention  to  that. 
Then  she  named  her  first  girl  Eliza,  which,  as 
we  know,  is  Mrs.  Sperrit's  own  name,  but 
seeing  as  it  was  the  name  of  the  grandmother 
of  both  of  them,  she  didn't  pay  any  attention 
to  that,  either.  Then  she  named  the  second 
boy  Sperrit,  which  was  a  little  pointed,  of 
course;  and  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  if  her  cousin 
had  been  practical,  she  would  certainly  have 
thought  that  the  Sperrits  ought  to  have  given 
the  child  something.  But  she  wasn't  and 
didn't,  and  they  didn't.  Then  she  named  the 
second  girl  Azile — which  is  Eliza  spelt  back- 
wards— and  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  it  was  the 
spelling  of  Eliza  backwards  as  first  showed 
her  how  awful  friendly  her  cousin  was  trying 
to  get  to  be.  Then,  when  she  named  the 
219 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

third  boy  Jacob,  after  Mr.  Sperrit,  and  the 
fourth  boy  Bocaj — which  is  Jacob-  spelled 
backwards — Mrs.  Sperrit  says  that  it  was  no 
use  pretending  not  to  see.  Besides,  naming 
the  baby  Bocaj  just  did  go  to  her  heart,  par- 
ticularly as  the  baby  wasn't  very  strong,  any- 
way. So  since  then  the  Sperrits  has  sent 
'em  a  turkey  every  Thanksgiving  and  a  quar- 
ter apiece  to  the  children  every  Christmas." 

"What's  she  named  the  other  children?" 
asked  Mrs.  Macy  with  real  interest. 

"Why,  there  ain't  no  more  yet.  Bocaj  is 
only  six  months  old." 

"Oh,  then  they  ain't  sent  no  turkey  yet!" 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Macy. 

"No,  not  yet,  but  when  they  begin,  they'll 
keep  it  up  steady.  And  now  Mrs.  Sperrit 
says  she'll  go  and  visit  and  see  for  herself 
how  things  are.  She's  not  very  hopeful  of 
enjoying  herself,  for  she  says  visiting  a  per- 
son as  isn't  practical  is  most  difficult.  She 
knows,  because  when  she  taught  school,  she 
used  to  board  with  a  family  as  was  that  way. 
She  says  she  kept  the  things  she  bought  then, 
220 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

and  she  shall  take  'em  all  to  her  cousin's. 
She  says  when  you  stay  with  any  one  as  isn't 
practical,  you  must  take  your  own  spirit- 
lamp,  and  teapot,  and  kettle,  and  tea,  and 
matches,  and  a  small  blanket,  and  pen  and 
ink,  and  a  box  of  crackers,  and  a  sharp  knife, 
and  some  blank  telegrams,  and  a  good  deal 
of  court-plaster,  and  a  teacup,  and  sugar  if 
you  take  it,  and  a  ball  of  good  heavy  string, 
and  your  own  Bible,  and  a  pillow.  And 
never  forget  to  wear  your  trunk-key  round 
your  neck,  even  if  you  only  go  down-stairs  to 
look  at  the  clock.  She's  got  all  those  things 
left  over  from  her  school-teaching  days. 
She  says  everything  always  comes  in  handy 
again  some  time  if  you're  practical,  and  she 
thanks  God  she's  practical." 

"I  don't  think  that  I  should  care  to  visit 
that  way,"  said  Gran'ma  Mullins  thought- 
fully. "I  wouldn't  say  I  wouldn't,  and  I 
wouldn't  say  I  couldn't,  but  I  don't  think — " 

"She's  going  Tuesday,"  continued  Susan 
Clegg.  "Mr.  Sperrit  says  she  can,  and  she's 
going  Tuesday.  She's  written  her  cousin, 

221 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

and  her  cousin's  written  her.  Her  cousin 
says  they'll  be  too  glad  for  words,  and  for 
her  to  stay  till  Christmas — or  till  Thanksgiv- 
ing, anyway.  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  she  won't 
do  that,  but  she'll  stay  until  the  end  of  next 
week  if  she  can  stand  her  cousin's  husband. 
She  says  she  never  had  any  use  for  her 
cousin's  husband,  because  he  isn't  practical 
either,  and  when  he  was  young,  his  tie  was 
never  on  straight.  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  a  man 
that  wears  his  tie  crooked  when  he's  young  is 
the  kind  to  keep  shy  of  later.  She  says  he'll 
never  have  a  pocket  knife  and  borrow  hers, 
and  never  have  a  pencil  and  borrow  hers. 
And  then,  too,  she's  almost  sure  as  by  this 
time  he's  spoilt  her  cousin's  temper ;  and  visit- 
ing a  cousin  whose  temper's  spoilt  wouldn't 
be  fun,  even  if  she  was  practical.  Which 
this  one  ain't." 

"If  her  cousin's  got  a  sharp  tongue  I — " 
began  Gran'ma  Mullins  in  quiet,  sad  reminis- 
cence. 

"She  was  buying  some  wood  alcohol  and  a 
cheap  spoon  at  Mr.  Kimball's,"  Susan  went 
222 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

on.  "She  took  me  in  her  buggy  and  drove 
me  up  to  look  at  our  houses,  which  is  trying 
feebly  to  climb  again  to  where  they  was  be- 
fore the  cyclone.  But  they're  a  sorry  sight. 
I  don't  know  when  we're  ever  going  to  get 
into  them,  I'm  sure.  I  only  wish  Jathrop 
was  to  see  how  slow  those  carpenters  can  be." 
Then  Miss  Clegg's  countenance  assumed  a 
coy  expression,  her  eyes  lowered  bashfully, 
and  her  fingers  nervously  sought  to  touch  be- 
tween the  buttons  of  her  waist  some  treas- 
ured object  hidden  within.  "I — I  had  a  let- 
ter from  him  to-day." 

And  at  that  all  three  listeners  started  in 
more  or  less  violent  amazement. 

"What !"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Nothing  that  I  can  tell  any  one,"  said 
Susan  serenely.  "So  it's  no  use  asking  me 
another  word  about  it." 

Mrs.  Sperrit  left  on  Tuesday  precisely  and 
practically  as  she  had  planned;  but  she  re- 
turned very  much  sooner  than  she  had  ex- 
pected. 

"And  no  wonder,"  declared  Susan,  just 
223 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

back  from  the  Sewing  Society,  to  Mrs.  La- 
throp,  who  never  went.  "I  should  say  it  was 
no  wonder.  Well,  Mrs.  Sperrit  has  had  an 
experience,  and  I  guess  no  lost  barn  will  ever 
lead  her  into  looking  up  no  more  cousins  after 
this." 

"She's  so  worn-looking,"  said  Gran'ma 
Mullins,  who  had  returned  with  Susan.  "I 
wouldn't  say  white,  and  I  wouldn't  say  wor- 
ried, but  I  call  it  peaked." 

"Why,  she's  been  through  enough  to  make 
a  book,"  said  Mrs.  Macy,  who  had  come  in 
with  the  others,  " — a  book  like  The  Jungle,  as 
makes  you  right  down  sick  in  spots." 

"Oh,  The  Jungle  isn't  so  bad,"  said  Susan. 
"If  it  was,  Roosevelt  would  have  straightened 
it  out  soon  enough  when  he  was  in  it  him- 
self. But  what's  awful  about  Mrs.  Sperrit 
is  what  she  has  suffered,  for  that  woman  cer- 
tainly has  suffered.  She's  a  lesson  once  for 
all  as  to  visiting.  No  one  as  hears  her  is 
ever  going  lightly  visiting  after  this.  She 
lost  her  trunk-key  as  soon  as  she  landed  in 
the  house,  and  she  says  she  was  too  took  up 
224 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

to  miss  it  for  three  days,  which  shows  what 
kind  of  a  time  she  had.  Why,  her  cousin 
went  right  to  bed  as  soon  as  she  got  there,  be- 
cause she  said  as  she  knowed  that  Mrs.  Sper- 
rit  was  practical  and  could  do  everything  bet- 
ter than  she  could.  So  that  was  a  nice  be- 
ginning to  begin  with.  Well,  she  says  such 
a  house  you  never  see.  The  chickens  come 
into  the  dining-room,  and  they  was  raising 
mud  turtles  in  the  bathtub,  and  caterpillars 
in  the  cake-box.  The  children  was  awful 
right  from  the  start.  She  slept  in  the  room 
with  two  of  them,  and  they  woke  her  up 
mornings  playing  shave  with  the  ends  of  her 
braids.  She  found  out  as  they  dipped  'em 
first  in  the  water  pitcher  and  then  in  the  tooth 
powder  to  make  it  like  lather." 

"My  heavens  alive!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"Then  Jacob,  who's  only  two  and  a  half, 
ate  mashed  potatoes  with  his  fingers,  which 
is  a  thing,  Mrs.  Sperrit  says,  as  must  be  seen 
to  be  believed,  and  they  all  just  swum  in  jam 
from  dawn  to  dark.  She  says  she  never  see 
225 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

such  children,  anyway.  Whenever  anybody 
sat  down,  they'd  play  she  was  the  Alps,  and 
go  back  and  forth  over  her  wherever  they 
could  get  a  purchase.  And  she  says — would 
you  believe  it? — her  cousin  is  got  to  be  so 
calm  that  it  drives  you  out  of  your  senses 
only  to  see  the  way  she  takes  things.  Mrs. 
Sperrit  says  all  she  can  say  is  as  when  a 
woman  as  isn't  practical  does  go  to  bed,  she's 
resigned  to  that  degree  that  you  wish  you 
could  blow  her  up  with  dynamite  if  only  to 
see  her  move  quick  just  once." 

"Why  didn't  she  come  home?"  asked  Mrs. 
Macy.  "My  view  would  be  as  I'd  come 
home.  I  said  so  to  her  to-day." 

"She  did  come  home,  didn't  she?"  said 
Miss  Clegg.  "You  heard  her,  and  you  know 
she's  home.  It's  Mrs.  Lathrop  as  all  this  is 
new  to,  isn't  it?  Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  it 
would  go  to  your  heart  to  hear  what  hap- 
pened to  all  those  little  conveniences  as  she 
took.  There  wasn't  no  sharp  knife  in  the 
house  but  hers,  so  she  never  see  hers  after 
she  unpacked  it.  There  wasn't  no  string 
226 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

or  court-plaster  either,  so  they  disappeared 
too.  Then  they  run  out  of  tea  the  minute 
they  see  she  brought  some,  and  not  being 
practical,  her  cousin's  teapot  naturally  didn't 
have  no  nose,  so  she  lost  her  teapot,  too. 
The  whole  family  took  her  hairbrush  and 
used  it  for  a  clothes  brush,  and  she  thinks 
for  a  shoe  brush  when  she  was  down-town. 
Her  cousin  wore  her  stockings  and  her  col- 
lars, and  her  cousin's  husband  slept  on  the 
pillow  with  the  blanket  folded  around  him. 
Not  being  practical,  he  liked  his  feet  free." 

"Well,  I  nev— !"  ejaculated  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Mrs.  Sperrit  said  by  the  third  day  she  had 
to  begin  to  do  something,  so  she  asked  if  she 
could  clean  her  own  room,  and  her  cousin 
said  she  was  going  to  let  her  make  herself 
happy  in  her  own  way  and  just  to  go  ahead 
and  clean  the  whole  house  if  she  liked.  So 
she  went  to  work  and  cleaned  the  whole 
house,  and  she  says  such  a  house  she  never 
dreamed  could  exist.  She  found  families 
of  mice,  and  families  of  swallows,  and  fami- 
lies of  moths.  She  found  things  as  had  been 
227 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

lost  for  years,  and  they  was  wild  with  delight 
to  see  'em  again.  She  found  things  as,  she 
says,  she  wouldn't  like  to  say  she  found,  be- 
cause when  all's  said  and  done  a  cousin  is  still 
a  cousin,  but  she  says — Good  lands,  what  she 
found!  Well,  she  says  when  she  got  the 
house  cleaned,  her  cousin  was  still  in  bed,  so 
she  took  heart  of  grace  and  asked  if  she 
might  .teach  the  children  to  mind.  Her 
cousin  said  she  didn't  care,  so  Mrs.  Sperrit 
went  to  work  on  those  six  children.  Well, 
she  says  that  was  a  job,  and  it  was  that  as  led 
to  her  coming  away  like  she  did.  She  says 
the  children  was  the  very  worst  children  any- 
body ever  saw.  She  says  she  taught  school, 
and  she  thought  she  knew  children,  but  any- 
thing like  those  children  nobody — even  those 
as  is  chock  full  of  things  not  fit  to  eat — could 
ever  by  any  possibility  of  dreamed  of.  Why, 
she  says  they  was  used  to  heating  the  poker 
and  jabbing  one  another  with  it  when  mad; 
and  while  you  was  leaning  down  to  tie  your 
shoe,  they'd  snatch  your  chair  away  from  be- 
hind you,  and  such  games.  But  Mrs.  Sper- 
228 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

rit  is  practical,  and  she  believes  in  her  Bible, 
and  she  thought  as  how  the  Lord  had  deliv- 
ered them  into  her  hands  and  set  to  work. 
She  said  she  begun  by  washing  them  all — 
for  they  was  always  slippery  from  jam. 
And  then  she  cut  their  nails  very  short  and 
started  in.  Well,  she  says  it  was  some  work, 
for  they  was  so  funny  she  could  hardly  keep 
from  laughing.  She  says  they're  mighty 
bright  children — she  must  say  that  for  'em, 
although  it  don't  soften  her  feelings  a  mite 
towards  'em.  Well,  she  says  you  couldn't  do 
nothing  a  tall  with  'em.  But  she  didn't  lose 
courage.  When  she  talked  serious,  they  took 
it  as  a  great  joke,  and  she  had  to  stop  for 
meals  so  often  that  it  used  her  all  up;  for 
she  says  such  steady  eating  she  never  see. 
She  says  the  meals  was  most  terrible,  too, 
as  they  always  had  herring,  and  of  course 
the  bones  made  so  much  picking  that  the  chil- 
dren kept  telling  her  she  ate  with  her  fingers, 
herself.  She  says  that  was  the  most  awful 
part,  the  way  they  talked  back.  But  she 
didn't  despair.  She  kept  washing  them  out 
229 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

of  the  jam  and  taking  a  fresh  cut  at  their 
nails,  until  finally  come  the  last  hour  of 
wrath.  And  then,  she  says,  they  did  make 
her  mad — good  and  mad." 

"But  what  did—?"  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Well,  seems  the  worst  child  was  'Zile. 
Of  course,  Mrs.  Sperrit,  having  taught 
school,  thought  they'd  pronounce  it  like 
Azalea,  and  make  a  real  pretty  name  out  of 
Eliza  spelt  backwards,  but  seems  they 
dropped  the  A  and  just  called  her  'Zile  to 
rhyme  with  file;  and  Mrs.  Sperrit  says  she 
rhymed  with  file  all  right." 

"Go  on,  Susan,"  urged  Mrs.  Macy. 

"Well,  the  cousin  and  the  husband  was  in- 
vited to  go  on  a  all-day  excursion,  so  the 
cousin  got  up  and  dressed  and  went.  She 
said  she  might  as  well,  seeing  as  Mrs.  Sper- 
rit was  there  with  the  children.  When  they 
was  gone,  Mrs.  Sperrit  made  up  her  mind  as 
now  was  her  chance  to  bring  those  children 
to  time,  once  and  for  all.  So  she  rolled  up 
her  sleeves  and  give  'em  all  a  good  bath — for 
she  says  the  way  they'd  get  freshly  jammed 
230 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

was  most  astonishing — and  then  she  went 
up-stairs  to  get  her  scissors  to  cut  their  nails. 
She  was  opening  her  trunk  to  get  out  the 
scissors  when  she  heard  a  click.  Well,  when 
she  run  to  the  door,  what  do  you  suppose? 
She  found  they'd  locked  her  in. 

"Well,  maybe  you  can  imagine  her  feel- 
ings !  She  says  she  was  never  so  mad  in  all 
her  life.  She  called  through  the  door,  but 
not  a  sound.  There  was  a  crack  big  enough 
to  put  your  hand  through  under  the  door,  and 
she  tried  to  look  through  it,  but  it  wasn't 
high  enough  to  put  your  eye  to.  Then  she 
heard  a  shout  and  run  to  the  window.  There 
they  all  was,  out  on  the  grass  in  front, — all 
but  Bocaj,  who  was  asleep  in  his  cradle 
down-stairs.  Well,  such  doings!  She  says 
'Zile,  who  was  always  full  of  ideas,  was  just 
outstripping  herself  in  ideas  this  time.  They 
had  a  old  pair  of  scissors,  and  first  they  went 
to  work  for  half  an  hour  cutting  each  other's 
hair.  She  says  you  can  maybe  think  of  her 
feelings  in  the  upper  window,  left  in  charge 
of  'em,  with  full  permission  to  whip  'em  if 
231 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

necessary,  and  having  to  sit  and  watch  'em 
trim  each  other  anyway  the  notion  hit  'em. 
She  says  tying  a  man  to  a  tree  while  canni- 
bals eat  up  his  family  is  the  only  thing  as 
would  express  it  a  tall.  After  they  got  done 
cutting  hair,  they  went  in  and  got  a  pot  of 
jam  and  brought  it  out  and  sat  down  in  full 
sight  and  eat  jam  with  their  fingers  till  there 
was  no  more  jam.  She  says  she'd  stopped 
calling  things  to  'em  by  that  time  and  was 
just  sitting  quietly  in  the  window,  thanking 
God  for  every  minute  as  they  stayed  where 
she  could  see  what  they  was  doing.  But 
when  they  had  finished  the  jam,  they  went  in 
the  house  and  was  so  deathly  quiet  she  was 
scared  to  fits.  She  thought  maybe  they  was 
setting  fire  to  something.  But  after  a  while 
they  begun  to  bang  on  the  piano,  and  when 
she  was  half  crazy  over  the  noise,  she  looked 
towards  the  door,  and  there  was  the  key 
poked  under.  She  made  a  jump  for  the  key, 
and  it  was  jerked  back  by  a  piece  of  string. 
And  her  own  string  at  that.  Then  she  was 
called  to  the  window  by  Gringer  yelling,  and 
232 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

while  she  was  trying  to  hear  what  he  had  to 
say — the  piano  jangling  worse  than  ever — 
they  opened  the  door  suddenly  and  bundled 
Bocaj  into  the  room  and  then  locked  the  door 
again. 

'The  baby  was  just  woke  up  and  hungry, 
and  it  was  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish.  She  says 
she  made  up  her  mind  then  and  there  to  quit 
that  house  and  adopt  Bocaj.  She  says  she 
saw  as  there  was  no  use  trying  to  reform 
the  rest ;  but  Bocaj  was  so  little  and  helpless, 
and  nothing  in  her  heart  made  her  feel  as  he 
couldn't  be  raised  to  be  practical.  She  went 
to  work  and  fed  him  crackers  soaked  in  boil- 
ing water  while  she  packed  her  trunk.  And 
when  her  cousin  came  home,  she  was  sitting 
with  her  bonnet  on  ready  to  go.  Her  cousin 
just  naturally  felt  awful.  She  wanted  to  call 
it  a  joke ;  but  Mrs.  Sperrit  is  a  woman  whose 
feelings  isn't  lightly  took  in  vain.  She  left, 
and  she  took  Bocaj  with  her.  She  tele- 
graphed Mr.  Sperrit,  and  he  met  her  at  the 
train.  He  was  some  disappointed  because 
he'd  forgotten  about  the  baby's  name  and 
233 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

thought  from  reading  it  in  the  telegraph  that 
she  was  bringing  back  a  monkey.  Seems 
Mr.  Sperrit  has  always  wanted  a  monkey, 
and  she  wouldn't  have  one.  But  now  she 
says  he  can  have  a  monkey  or  anything  else, 
if  he'll  only  stay  practical.  She  says  she 
doesn't  believe  she  could  ever  live  with  any 
one  as  wasn't  practical,  after  this  expe- 
rience." 

Susan  paused,  Mrs.  Macy  and  Gran'ma 
Mullins  rose  to  go  to  their  kitchens  and  get 
suppers  for  their  guests.  When  they  had 
gone,  Susan,  having  Mrs.  Lathrop  alone, 
eased  a  troubled  conscience. 

"Oh,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  confided,  "do  you 
remember  me  saying  the  other  evening  I'd 
had  a  letter  from  Jathrop  ?" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  suddenly  stopped  rocking. 
"Yes — yes,  Susan,"  she  answered  eagerly. 
"I_" 

"Well,  I  didn't  have  one.     It  was  just  as 

everybody  in  this  community  has  got  their 

minds  fixed  on  Jathrop's  being  wild  about 

me,  so  I  felt  to  mention  a  letter,  and  I  shall 

234 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

go  on  mentioning  getting  a  letter  from  him 
whenever  the  spirit  moves  me." 

"Why,  Susan — !"  exclaimed  Mrs.  La- 
throp. 

"It  doesn't  hurt  him  a  tall"  said  Susan 
Clegg  with  calm  decision,  "and  it  saves  me 
from  being  asked  questions.  And  you  know 
as  well  as  I  do,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that  I  can  have 
him  if  I  want  him." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  sat  open-mouthed,  dumb. 

"If  I  don't  have  him,  it'll  be  because  I  don't 
want  him,"  added  Miss  Clegg  with  dignity. 
"So  it's  no  use  your  saying  one  other  word, 
Mrs.  Lathrop." 

And  Mrs.  Lathrop,  thus  adjured,  refrained 
from  further  speech. 


X 

SUSAN    CLEGG   DEVELOPS    IMAGINATION 


be  it  from  me,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  said 
Susan  Clegg,  returning  from  an  early 
errand  down-town  and  dropping  in  at  Mrs. 
Macy's  to  find  her  friend  still  in  her  own 
room  and  rocking  in  her  old-gold  stationary 
rocker.  It  was  now  autumn,  and  to  take  the 
chill  off  the  room  an  oil  burner  was  brightly 
ablaze.  "Far  be  it  from  me  to  say  anything 
disrespectful  of  such  a  good  Samaritan  as 
your  son  Jathrop,  but  as  we  have  it  in  the 
scriptures,  he  certainly  does  move  in  a  mys- 
terious way  his  neighbors  to  inform.  It's 
mighty  good  of  him  to  go  to  all  the  expense 
of  building  over  my  house  in  a  way  I'd  never 
in  this  wide  world  have  had  it  if  I  could  'a' 
understood  those  plans  of  that  boy  architect, 
and  it  may  be  —  providing  we  escape  earth- 
236 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

quake,  fire,  blood,  and  famine — that  I'll  get 
into  it  once  more  before  next  summer,  not- 
withstanding it's  all  of  two  months  behind 
yours,  you  being  his  mother,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
and  me  only  your  friend.  But  a  early  frost 
is  sure  to  crack  the  plaster,  and,  seeing  as  the 
glass  blowers  has  gone  on  a  strike,  there's 
no  telling  when  they'll  blow  the  panes  for 
the  windows.  Just  the  same,  kind  and  good 
as  Jathrop  is,  he  might  have  had  more 
consideration  for  me  as  would  this  day 
have  been  his  wife,  if  I'd  felt  to  answer 
him  with  a  three-letter  word  instead  of  a  two, 
than  to  put  me  on  the  pillar  of  scorn  before 
a  community  as  has  known  me  always  as  a 
scrupulous  lover  of  the  voracious  truth." 

"You  don't — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop,  in 
mild  astonishment. 

"Yes,  I  do,"  continued  Susan,  with  grow- 
ing indignation.  "Jathrop  has  done  his  best 
to  make  me  out  a  liar,  and  I  don't  know  as 
I'll  ever  be  able  to  hold  my  head  up  again. 
He's  struck  me  in  the  tenderest  spot  he  could 
strike  me  in,  and  not  boldly  neither,  but  in  a 
237 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

skulking,  underhand  way  that  makes  it  all 
the  bitterer  pill  to  swallow." 

"I  can't  see — "  objected  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"No,  nor  me  neither.  But  he  did,  and  in 
no  time  everybody'll  know  it  from  Johnny, 
at  the  station,  to  Mrs.  Lupey  in  Meadville, 
not  forgettin'  the  poor  demented  over  to  the 
insane  asylum.  And  it  all  comes  of  those 
letters  I  have  been  getting  from  Jathrop  dur- 
ing the  summer." 

"But—" 

"Yes,  I  know  and  you  know  there  was  no 
letters  a  tall.  But  everybody  else,  except 
you  and  me  and  the  postmaster,  believed  I 
had  a  letter  regular  every  week.  Whenever 
I  run  short  of  subjects  at  the  Sewing  Society, 
I  just  fell  back  on  my  last  letter  from  Jathrop 
and  told  them  all  about  what  he  was  doing  in 
those  islands.  I'd  read  the  book  he  sent, 
and  I'd  read  it  to  good  profit.  There  was 
some  things  as  I  didn't  quite  understand,  of 
course,  but  on  them  I  just  put  my  own  inter- 
pretations, and  knowing  Jathrop  as  I  did,  it 
was  easy  enough  for  me  to  figure  out  how 
238 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

he'd  be  most  likely  to  act  in  a  strange,  bar- 
baric land.  The  book  didn't  have  a  word  to 
say  about  the  costumes  of  the  native  tribes, 
but  I'm  not  so  ignorant  as  not  to  know  how 
those  South  Sea  Islanders  never  wear  noth- 
ing more  hamperin'  than  sea-shell  earrings 
and  necklaces  of  sharks'  teeth ;  and  I'd  read, 
too,  that  foreign  visitors,  on  account  of  the 
unbearable  heat,  was  in  the  habit  of  adoptin' 
the  native  fashions  in  dress.  When  you  get 
started  makin'  things  up,  there's  no  knowing 
just  where  you're  likely  as  to  end.  It's  so 
easy  to  go  straight  ahead  and  say  just  what- 
ever you  please  that  seems  in  any  way  inter- 
esting. And  so,  when  Mrs.  Fisher  asked  me 
one  day  whether  I  supposed  there  was  any 
cannibals  there,  I  said  there  was  one  cannibal 
tribe  that  was  most  ferocious  and  had  appe- 
tites that  there  was  no  such  thing  as 
quenchin'.  I  said  that  in  Jathrop's  last  letter 
he  had  written  me  about  how  this  tribe  had 
captured  the  cook  off  the  yacht  and  that  when 
they  finally  found  his  captors  and  defeated 
them  in  a  desperate  battle  lasting  three  days, 
239 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

all  that  was  found  of  the  cook  was  two 
chicken  croquettes." 

"For  gra — !"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"That's  what  Mrs.  Fisher  said.  Of 
course,  with  the  cook  eat  up — all  but  what 
was  in  the  two  croquettes,  that  is, — Jathrop 
and  his  millionaire  friends  was  a  good  deal 
put  about.  There  wasn't  a  one  of  'em  as 
knew  the  first  thing  about  cooking,  and  after 
the  exercise  of  the  three  days'  battle  they  was 
most  awful  hungry.  And  then,  I  says,  quot- 
ing from  the  letter  from  Jathrop  which  never 
came,  they  had  a  piece  of  real  luck,  just  as 
millionaires  is  always  having.  They  had 
taken  one  prisoner,  and  by  means  of  signs, 
not  knowin'  a  word  of  the  cannibal  language, 
they  discovered  that  the  prisoner  was  the 
cook  of  the  tribe.  He  pointed  to  the  cro- 
quettes as  a  example  of  his  handiwork,  and 
Jathrop  said  that  he  never  saw  anything  in 
the  cookin'  line  that  looked  more  toothsome 
than  they  did.  So,  of  course  they  engaged 
the  cannibal  cook  on  the  spot  and  carried  him 
back  to  the  yacht  with  'em.  Everything 
240 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

went  well  for  a  few  days,  but  on  a  day  when 
they  had  invited  the  chief  of  a  friendly  tribe 
to  dinner,  there  was  something  as  aroused 
their  suspicions.  The  principal  dish  for  the 
feast  was,  so  far  as  they  could  make  out  from 
the  cook's  sign-language,  a  savory  rabbit 
stew.  Now  as  they  had  never  seen  or  heard 
tell  of  a  rabbit  in  the  Bahamas,  they  was 
naturally  curious  to  learn  where  the  cook  had 
managed  to  dig  it  up.  He  either  couldn't  or 
wouldn't  tell.  I  says  that  Jathrop  says  you 
might  'a'  thought  that  the  cook  was  a  thirty- 
second  degree  mason  and  that  the  origin  of 
the  rabbit  was  a  thirty-second  degree  masonic 
secret.  The  millionaires  gathered  in  council 
and  discussed  the  question,  pro  and  con, 
from  every  obtainable  or  imaginable  angle. 
Then,  just  as  they  were  about  to  adjourn 
without  having  reached  any  conclusion  what- 
ever, they  rang  for  the  cabin  boy  to  fetch 
some  liquid  refreshment.  But  there  wasn't 
no  answer.  And  they  might  'a'  been  ringing 
yet  as  to  any  good  it  would  do.  They  never 
did  see  that  cabin  boy,  and  the  only  one  to  eat 
241 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

the  savory  rabbit  stew  was  the  visiting 
chief." 

"I  don't — "  observed  Mrs.  Lathrop,  rock- 
ing faster. 

"Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you're  right  about 
that,"  Susan  confirmed,  loosening  her  shawl, 
for  the  oil-stove  was  rapidly  lifting  the 
room's  temperature.  "I  don't  see,  myself, 
why  anybody  should  ever  have  known  any 
better,  and  nobody  would  have,  if  it  hadn't 
been  as  Jathrop  took  it  into  his  head  to  talk 
to  a  newspaper  man  at  Atlantic  City  on  about 
the  same  day  as  I  had  him  missing  the 
cabin  boy  and  refusing  a  helping  to  the 
rabbit  stew.  Mr.  Kimball  showed  me  the 
paper  as  came  from  New  York  wrapped 
around  a  new  ledger  he  just  received  by  ex- 
press. The  reporter  had  written  two  col- 
umns and  over  about  the  'Klondike  Bonanza 
King,'  and  if  Jathrop  had  set  his  mind  to 
makin'  me  out  a  Ananias  and  a  Saphira 
boiled  into  one,  he  couldn't  have  succeeded 
better.  He  hasn't  been  in  the  Bahamas  a 
tall.  The  yacht  started  for  there,  but  it  went 
242 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

to  Cuba  instead,  and  he  and  his  friends  only 
stayed  in  Cuba  a  week.  From  there  they 
went  down  to  Panama  and  looked  over  the 
canal  as  far  as  it's  gone.  They  spent  the 
summer  sailin'  from  one  summer  resort  to 
another,  and  I  must  say  I  should  think  there 
was  better  ways  of  passin'  the  time  than  that. 
When  it  comes  to  eatin',  I'd  about  as  leave 
eat  the  dishes  of  a  cannibal  cook  as  eat  things 
made  of  the  salt  water  that  people  go  bathin' 
in,  and  that's  what  they  do  at  Atlantic  City. 
The  minister  showed  me  some  candy  'Liza 
Em'ly  sent  him  from  Atlantic  City  in  July, 
and  I  know  what  I'm  talkin'  about,  for  it  was 
printed  on  the  paper  around  each  piece. 
'Salt-water  Taffy.'  Think  of  that!  It's 
plain  to  be  seen  that  they  ain't  got  any  fresh 
water  there,  or  they  wouldn't  use  salt.  Ja- 
throp  and  the  other  millionaires,  I  suppose, 
drink  nothin'  but  wine,  but  the  poor  folks 
must  drink  salt  water  or  go  thirsty.  I  sup- 
pose it  saves  salt  in  seasonin',  but  I'd  rather 
have  my  vituals  unseasoned  than  have  'em 
salted  with  water  that  folks  has  swum  in. 
243 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

They  certainly  ain't  got  no  enterprise,  that's 
sure.  If  they  had  they'd  pipe  water — fresh 
water — from  somewheres.  And  if  there's 
no  place  near  enough  to  pipe  it  from,  they'd 
build  cisterns.  But  water's  not  the  only 
thing  as  shows  their  shiftlessness.  Our 
town  isn't  exactly  a  metropolis,  but  we  got 
a  few  cement  sidewalks.  Atlantic  City  ain't 
got  a  one.  I  heard  about  that  long  ago. 
And  in  these  days  of  progress,  too!  Noth- 
ing but  a  board  walk  on  its  principal  street — 
nothing  a  tall." 

"What  did—?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"He  said  a  good  deal  more'n  his  prayers, 
I  can  tell  you  that.  He  said  his  object  in 
going  to  the  Bahamas,  to  which  he  never 
went,  after  all,  was  to  look  into  the  possi- 
bility of  securin'  a  large  tract  of  land  there 
for  the  cultivation  and  growth  of  sisal. 
Now  what  under  the  sun  would  you  suppose 
sisal  was  ?  I  saw  in  the  book  that  sisal  was 
being  grown  in  increasing  quantities  in  the 
islands,  and  I  just  naturally  supposed  it  was 
some  sort  of  animal.  It  might  of  been 
244 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

buffalo,  or  it  might  of  been  guinea  pigs,  but 
when  I  spoke  at  the  Sewing  Society  of  how 
Jathrop  had  mentioned  the  great  number  of 
sisal,  and  Mrs.  Allen  says :  'What  is  sisal  ?' 
I  just  right  then  and  there  on  the  spur  of  the 
minute  says:  'Why,  don't  you  know? 
Sisal  is  a  sort  of  small  oxen  striped  like  a 
zebra  and  spotted  like  a  leopard.'  And 
would  you  believe  it,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  when 
Mr.  Kimball  asked  me  that  same  question  to- 
day, I  said  the  very  same  thing — small  oxen 
striped  like  a  zebra  and  spotted  like  a  leopard. 
That's  what  Mrs.  Allen  told  me  you  said, 
Miss  Clegg,'  says  he,  'but  accordin'  to  the 
paper,  Jathrop  Lathrop  don't  quite  agree 
with  you.'  I  don't  know,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  I 
d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  why  Jathrop  should  take 
pleasure  in  making  me  appear  like  a  igno- 
ramus, but  there  ain't  no  question  about  it 
that  that's  what  he  did  when  he  gave  that 
interview  to  that  there  reporter.  'What  kind 
of  animal  is  a  sisal,  then,  Mr.  Kimball?'  I 
asked,  and  you  can  believe  me  my  blood  was 
boilin'  in  my  veins.  'It  ain't  no  animal  a 
245 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

tall,9  he  says.  'It's  hemp  what  they  make 
ropes  out  of  to  hang  murderers  with.  And 
the  seeds  they  feed  canaries  on.'  'Well,'  I 
says,  'that  may  be  the  reporter's  sisal,  but 
it  ain't  mine,  and  it  ain't  Jathrop's.  The 
newspapers  never  get  nothin'  right  nohow, 
but  when  it  comes  to  reducin'  cattle  into 
rope  and  birdseed,  they  are  certainly  goin' 
one  better  on  the  Chicago  pork  packers.'  In 
all  my  life  I  have  never  been  a  respecter  of 
the  untruth,  but  I  know  enough  on  the  sub- 
ject to  tell  a  good  lie  when  necessity  calls 
upon  me  and  to  stick  to  it  as  long  as  it  has  an 
eyelid  to  hang  by.  But  I  will  say  this  for 
your  son  Jathrop,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  that  is 
that  before  he  got  done  with  that  reporter,  he 
didn't  leave  so  much  as  a  eyelash,  let  alone  a 
lid.  It  wasn't  only  that  he'd  never  been  to 
those  islands  a  tall,  and  I'd  been  tellin'  every- 
body in  town  as  how  I'd  had  a  letter  from 
him  there  every  week  the  whole  summer 
through,  but  he  must  air  his  acquaintance 
with  things  on  the  islands  just  as  if  he'd  been 
born  and  raised  there.  And  it  seems  there 
246 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

ain't  no  natives  within  miles  of  the  Bahamas, 
and  hasn't  been  since  Columbus  and  his  peo- 
ple was  there,  goin'  on  fifteen  hundred  years 
ago.  Columbus  told  'em  that  he'd  take  'em 
to  the  land  where  all  their  dead  relatives  and 
friends  had  gone  to,  a  land  flowin'  with  milk 
and  honey,  and  he  kept  his  word.  Seems  he 
shipped  every  last  mother's  son  and  daugh- 
ter of  'em  back  to  Spain  with  him,  and  left 
the  islands  bare  for  the  next  comers.  It 
may  have  appeared  a  rather  roundabout  way 
for  the  native  Bahamians  to  reach  heaven 
and  their  departed  folks,  seeing  as  it  led 
through  hard  work  in  the  Spanish  mines,  but 
there  ain't  no  question  whatever  that  they 
every  one  got  there  in  the  end." 

"You  mean — "  suggested  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

•"I  mean  that  unless  Lathrop  or  the  re- 
porter made  it  up,  or  the  pair  of  'em  together, 
that  nobody  lives  there  now  except  whites 
and  blacks,  and  there's  not  enough  whites  to 
make  a  nice  shepherd's  plaid  out  of  the  com- 
bination. But  savagery,  except  for  pirates, 
has  never  had  any  place  there,  and  canni- 
247 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

balism  is  absolutely  unknown.  It's  all  very 
humiliating,  and  it'd  'a'  been  much  better  to 
let  people  ask  me  and  never  said  nothing  back 
a  tall.  When  people  is  in  the  dark,  they've 
got  to  imagine  for  themselves,  and  as  long 
as  they  don't  tell  what  they  imagine  to  others, 
no  piece  in  a  newspaper  can  never  make 
'em  blush.  I  can  tell  you  it's  learnt  me  a 
lesson  as  I  won't  soon  forget.  I'll  never  get 
over  the  way  Mr.  Kimball  looked  at  me  when 
he  said  as  how  sisal  was  hemp ;  and  me  think- 
ing all  the  time  it  was  a  animal  when  it  was  a 
herb.  Well,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  it's  a  ill  wind 
that  don't  chill  the  shorn  lamb.  I'm  that 
chilled  that  I  feel  I  never  shall  talk  again. 
I'll  never  say  black  is  black  or  white  is  white 
until  I've  looked  at  the  color  twice  with  my 
glasses  on.  Accuracy  is  the  best  policy,- 1 
says,  from  this  day  henceforth." 

"You  might — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  sym- 
pathetically. 

"That's  true,  too.  I  might  have  known 
that  it  didn't  sound  true  to  be  getting  letters 
every  week  from  a  man  who  went  away  to 
248 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  Klondike  and  never  sent  his  mother  so 
much  as  a  picture  postal  card  in  all  the  years 
he  was  there.  But  then,  too,  you've  got  to 
consider  the  kind  of  folks  as  you're  telling 
things  to,  and  with  all  due  respect  to  the 
ladies  of  the  Sewing  Society,  from  Mrs. 
Allen  to  Gran'ma  Mullins,  they're  not  over- 
burdened with  the  kind  of  intellect  as  can  add 
two  and  two  and  get  the  same  answer  twice 
in  succession.  There  wasn't  a  one  of  'em 
as  thought  of  that,  or  they'd  'a'  said  it 
straight  out,  without  once  considering  my 
feelings.  And  I'll  say  this  much  for  you, 
Mrs.  Lathrop:  you're  not  the  best  house- 
keeper I  ever  see,  and  you're  about  a  match 
for  Mrs.  Sperrit's  cousin  when  it  comes  to 
being  practical,  but  you  have  got  some 
brains,  and  I'd  no  more  think  of  trying  to  de- 
ceive you  than  I'd  think  of  trying  to  deceive 
Judge  Fitch  when  he'd  got  a  big  retainer  to 
get  the  truth  out  of  me." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  leaned  down  and  turned  out 
the  oil  burner. 

'  Was  that—  ?" 

249 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"No,  it  wasn't  all.  There  was  something 
else  that  has  set  me  all  of  a  flutter.  If  it 
wasn't  as  you  never  can  tell  whether  a  news- 
paper is  voracious  or  just  bearing  false  wit- 
ness, I'd  certainly  feel  as  if  Jathrop  was  play- 
ing fast  and  loose  with  my  affections.  I  can 
remember,  and  you  can  remember,  too,  when 
the  freedom  of  the  press  didn't  mean  free- 
dom to  make  a  Pike's  Peak  out  of  a  ant  hill. 
But  in  these  days  there's  no  telling  whether, 
when  we  read  of  a  poor  soul  being  attacked 
by  a  wild  beast,  it's  a  jungle  tiger  or  just  a 
pet  yellow  kitten.  Folks  would  rather  read 
about  the  tiger  than  the  kitten,  and  so  the 
papers  give  'em  what  they  want  without  any 
regard  for  the  real  facts  a  tall.  Elijah 
Doxey,  who's  a  real  editor  if  there  ever  was 
one,  and  knows  all  about  the  paper  business, 
says  that  the  newspaper,  like  everything  else, 
has  to  keep  abreast  of  the  times  or  go  to  the 
wall,  and  that  since  people  in  these  days  'Id 
rather  read  fiction  than  history,  it  stands  to 
reason  a  paper  can't  stand  in  its  own  light  by 
sticking  always  to  cold  commonplace  facts." 
250 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"Did  the — ?"  Mrs.  Lathrop  attempted 
mildly  to  question. 

"I  don't  know,  I  d'n  know,  I'm  sure,  Mrs. 
Lathrop.  But  the  interview  with  Jathrop 
wasn't  all  interview,  by  no  means.  It  said  a 
lot  about  his  party,  and  it  mentioned  each  of 
the  millionaires  as  was  in  it.  Seems  the  in- 
terview was  given  on  one  of  those  Atlantic 
City  board  walks,  and  it  was  given — from 
what  on  earth  do  you  think,  Mrs.  Lathrop? 
From  a  wheel  chair.  Jathrop  in  a  wheel 
chair!  Think  of  that!  And  not  alone, 
either.  'Beside  him/  wrote  the  interviewer, 
'was  the  beautiful,  dark-eyed  Cuban  sefiora 
who,  rumor  says,  is  soon  to  become  his  bride/ 
My  lands!  If  it  hadn't  been  for  Mr.  Kim- 
ball's  apple  barrel,  I  certainly  would  have 
dropped.  It  would  'a'  been  bad  enough  if 
they  was  both  strong  and  well,  but  to  think 
of  Jathrop  being  too  weak  to  walk  and  going 
to  marry  a  foreigner  no  more  robust  than 
himself.  You  can't  imagine  the  shock  it  give 
me.  For  a  minute  I  was  clean  speechless, 
and  I'd  'a'  been  dumb  yet,  I  do  believe,  if  it 
251 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

wasn't  as  I  begun  to  figure  things  out  in  my 
head  and  got  sight  of  a  ray  of  hope.  Just  as 
like  as  not,  I  says,  Jathrop  was  suffering  from 
the  sudden  change  of  climate, — from  the 
Klondike  to  Cuba  seems  to  me  a  pretty 
rigorous  switch  for  any  constitution, — and 
the  Cuban  woman  was  more'n  likely  his 
trained  nurse  fetched  from  the  island. 
Either  that  or  the  woman  was  just  recover- 
ing from  a  illness,  and  Jathrop  got  in  to  ride 
with  her  out  of  pure  kindness  of  heart. 
Then,  too,  I  remembered  that :  'rumor  says,' 
and  cheered  right  up.  Rumor  never  told  the 
truth  yet,  as  far  as  I  know,  and  it's  not  in 
reason  to  believe  the  shameless  thing  is  go- 
ing to  reform  in  these  degenerate  days. 
Jathrop  may  be  going  to  marry  the  senora,  I 
don't  say  he  isn't,  and  I  don't  say  he  is.  But 
before  I  believe  it,  I've  got  to  have  some  bet- 
ter authority  than  what  rumor  says.  He's 
steered  clear  of  wives  in  the  Klondike,  and 
he's  steered  clear  of  'em  in  other  places,  and 
I  don't  see  as  there's  any  reason  to  think  his 
steering  apparatus  come  to  grief  while  he 
252 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

was  in  Cuba.  'How's  Susan  Clegg?'  That 
was  what  he  wrote  in  the  first  letter  you'd 
had  from  him  in  a  dog's  age,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
and  it  showed  pretty  clear  to  me  who  he  was 
thinking  of  while  engaged  in  the  steering  op- 
eration." 

"You  don't  think — "  Mrs.  Lathrop  began 
distressfully. 

"No  man  as  was  seriously  sick,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, ever  talked  two  whole  long  newspaper 
columns  to  a  reporter.  You  can  bank  on 
that.  He  was  well  enough  to  make  me  out 
the  king  of  prevaricators,  and  it  took  some 
strength  and  a  good  deal  of  attention  to 
small  details  to  do  it,  and  as  the  Cuban 
senora  never  said  one  word  in  all  that  time, 
I  can't  think  as  she  is  cutting  any  figure 
eights  in  his  affairs.  Consequently,  I  don't 
believe  it'll  pay  either  of  us  to  do  any  great 
lot  of  worrying." 

"If — "  Mrs.  Lathrop  attempted  once  more 
to  interpolate. 

"That's  just  what  I  told  Mr.  Kimball. 
If  Mrs.  Lathrop  could  only  see  this  paper,' 
253 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

I  says,  'I  know  she'd  be  delighted.'  It 
stands  to  reason  as  a  mother  must  be  proud 
of  a  son  who,  after  having  no  more  sense 
than  to  take  a  kicking  cow  for  a  bad  debt, 
goes  to  the  Klondike  and  comes  back  a  mil- 
lionaire; but  it  stands  to  reason,  too,  that 
she'd  be  more  proud  of  him  to  get  two  col- 
umns of  free  advertising  in  a  New  York 
paper  that  can  sell  its  columns  to  the  depart- 
ment stores  for  real  money.  Well,  I  asked 
him  for  the  paper  just  to  show  you,  and 
though  he  didn't  feel  to  part  with  it,  just  the 
same  he  did  in  the  end,  and  I  carried  it  away 
in  triumph." 

"You've  brought—" 

"No,  I  haven't.  I'm  sorry  to  disappoint 
you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  more  sorry  than  I  am  to 
disappoint  Mr.  Kimball  in  not  being  able  to 
return  it,  but  the  truth  is  I  lost  it  on  the  way 
home." 

"Lost—" 

"Every  last  scrap  of  it.  And  I  can't  say 
as  it  was  altogether  accidental  either.  As 
Shakespeare  says:  'Self-protection  is  the 
254 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

best  part  of  valor.'  If  that  paper  was  ever 
to  get  before  the  Sewing  Society,  my  char- 
acter would  be  stripped  off  me  to  the  last  rag. 
Mr.  Kimball  can  say  what  was  in  it,  but 
without  the  paper  itself,  he'll  have  a  hard 
time  proving  anything,  and  my  word  when 
it  comes  to  a  dispute  is  as  good  as  his  and 
a  thousand  times  better." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  leaned  forward  and  for  a 
moment  stopped  rocking. 

"You — "  she  said  quietly  but  tensely. 

"Tore  it  into  small  bits,"  returned  Susan, 
rising,  "and  scattered  them  to  the  winds  of 
heaven.  There's  a  paper  trail  all  the  way 
from  the  square  to  Mrs.  Macy's  gate." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  resumed  her  rocking  and  re- 
lapsed into  silence. 

Susan  Clegg,  laying  her  finger  to  her  lips 
as  a  parting  warning,  went  quietly  out. 


255 


XI 

SUSAN    CLEGG   AND   THE   PLAYWRIGHT 

"TT7ELL,"  said  Miss  Clegg  to  her  dear 
V  V  friend  in  the  early  fall  of  that  same 
year,  while  they  still  waited  under  alien  roofs 
the  completion  of  their  own  made-over 
houses,  "the  men  who  write  the  Sunday 
papers  and  say  that  when  you  look  at  the 
world  with  a  impartial  eye  in  this  century 
you  can't  but  have  hopes  of  women  some  day 
developing  into  something,  surely  would 
know  they  spoke  the  truth  if  they  could  see 
Elijah  Doxey  now." 

"But  Eli — "  expostulated  Mrs.  Lathrop. 
"No,  of  course  not.  But  'Liza  Em'ly  is, 
and  it's  her  I'm  talking  about.  She  was  up 
to  see  me  this  afternoon,  and  she  says  she'll 
spare  no  money  nowhere.  The  trained 
nurse  is  to  stay  with  him  right  along  forever 

256 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

if  he  likes,  and  the  two  can  have  her  auto- 
mobile and  ride  or  walk  or  do  anything,  with- 
out thinking  once  what  it  costs.  There  was 
a  doctor  up  from  the  city  again  yesterday, 
and  that  makes  four  visits  at  a  hundred  a 
visit.  But  'Liza  Em'ly  says  even  if  Elijah 
hadn't  anything  of  his  own,  she'd  pay  all  the 
bills  sooner'n  think  anything  that  could  be 
done  was  being  left  out.  It's  a  pretty  sad 
case,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  this  last  doctor  says 
he  never  see  a  sadder.  He  said  nothing 
more  could  be  done  right  now,  for  there 
really  is  nothing  in  this  community  to  remind 
Elijah  that  he  ever  wrote  a  play,  if  they  only 
could  get  those  clippings  from  the  news- 
papers away  from  him.  But  that's  just 
what  they  can't  do.  He  keeps  looking  them 
over,  and  then  such  a  look  of  agony  comes 
into  his  eyes, — and  Elijah  was  never  one  to 
bear  pain  as  you  must  know,  remembering 
him  with  the  colic, — and  he  clasps  his  hands 
and  shakes  his  head,  and — well,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, Elijah  just  wasn't  strong  enough  to 
write  a  play,  and  some  one  as  was  stronger 
257 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ought  to  of  restrained  him  right  in  the  first 
of  it." 

"He — "  said  Mrs.  Lathrop  pityingly. 

"Yes,  that's  it,"  confirmed  Susan,  "and 
oh,  it's  awful  to  take  a  bright  young  prom- 
ising life  like  his  and  wreck  it  completely 
like  that!  To  see  Elijah  walking  about  with 
a  trained  nurse  and  those  clippings  at  his 
age  is  surely  one  of  the  most  touching  sights 
as  this  town'll  ever  see.  'Liza  Em'ly  says 
she  offered  a  thousand  dollars  to  any  news- 
paper as  would  print  one  good  notice,  'cause 
the  doctors  say  just  one  good  notice  might 
turn  the  whole  tide  of  his  brain.  But  the 
newspapers  say  if  they  printed  one  good  no- 
tice of  such  a  play,  the  Pure  Food  Commis- 
sion would  have  'em  up  for  libel  within  a 
week,  and  they  just  don't  dare  risk  it.  This 
last  doctor  says  he  can't  blame  Elijah  for 
going  mad,  'cause  he  knows  a  little  about 
the  stage  through  being  in  love  with  a  actress 
once,  and  he  says  he  wasn't  treated  fair. 
He  says  play-writing  is  not  like  any  other 
kind  of  writing,  and  Elijah  wasn't  prepared 

258 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

for  the  great  difference.  Seems  all  words 
on  the  stage  mean  something  they  don't 
mean  in  the  dictionary,  and  that  makes  it 
very  hard  for  a  mere  ordinary  person  to 
know  what  they're  saying  if  they  say  any- 
thing a  tall.  And  then,  too,  Elijah  never 
grasped  that  the  main  thing  is  to  keep  the 
gallery  laughing,  even  if  the  two-dollar  peo- 
ple have  tears  running  down  their  cheeks. 
And  you  can't  write  for  the  stage  nowadays 
without  you  keep  folks  laughing  the  whole 
time.  Elijah  never  thought  about  the  laugh- 
ing, because  his  play  was  a  tragedy  like  Ham- 
let, only  with  Hamlet  left  out.  For  the  lady 
is  dead  in  the  play,  and  her  ghost  is  all  that's 
left  of  her.  But  'Liza  Em'ly  told  me  to- 
day as  his  trouble  came  right  in  the  start, 
for  the  people  who  look  plays  over  no  sooner 
looked  Elijah's  over  before  they  took  hold 
of  it  and  fixed  it.  And  they  kept  on  fixing 
it  till  it  was  Hamlet  with  nobody  but  Hamlet 
left  in.  And  then,  so  as  to  manage  the 
laughs,  they  dressed  everybody  like  chickens 
if  they  turned  back-to.  So  that  while  the 
259 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

audience  was  weeping,  if  any  one  on  the 
stage  turned  'round,  they  went  off  into 
shrieks  of  laughter.  'Liza  Em'ly  says  they 
never  told  Elijah  about  the  chicken  feathers, 
and  the  opening  night  was  the  first  he  knew 
about  that  little  game,  for  he  was  laid  up  for 
ever  so  long  before  then.  He  got  all  used 
up  in  the  first  part  of  the  rehearsals;  for  it 
seems  you  can  only  have  a  theater  to  rehearse 
in  at  times  when  even  the  people  who  sweep 
it  don't  feel  to  be  sweeping.  And  so  they 
always  rehearse  from  one  to  six  in  the  morn- 
ing. And  Elijah  naturally  wasn't  used  to 
that.  But  they'd  had  trouble  even  before 
then;  for  right  from  the  start  there  was  a 
pretty  how-d'ye-do  over  the  plot.  Seems 
Elijah  wanted  his  own  plot  and  his  own  peo- 
ple in  his  own  play,  and  they  had  a  awful 
time  getting  it  through  his  head  as  it's  honor 
enough  to  have  your  own  play,  and  it's  only 
unreasonable  to  stick  out  for  your  own  plot 
and  your  own  people  too.  'Liza  Em'ly  says 
they  had  a  awful  time  with  him  over  it  all, 
and  there  was  a  time  when  he  felt  so  bad 
260 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

over  giving  up  his  plot  and  his  people  that 
any  one  ought  to  have  seen  right  there  as 
he'd  never  be  strong  enough  to  stand  all  the 
rest  of  what  was  surely  coming.  'Liza 
Em'ly  didn't  tell  me  the  whole  of  the  rest 
what  come,  but  Mr.  Kimball  told  me  that 
what  was  one  great  strain  on  Elijah,  right 
through  to  the  hour  he  begun  to  scream,  was 
that  the  leading  lady  fell  in  love  with  him 
and  used  to  have  him  up  at  all  hours  to  fix 
up  her  part,  and  then  kiss  him.  And  Elijah 
didn't  want  to  fix  up  her  part,  and  he  hated 
to  be  kissed.  But  they  told  him  the  part 
must  be  fixed  up  to  suit  her,  and  that  the 
kisses  didn't  matter,  because  they  was  only 
little  things  after  all. 

"He  was  wading  along  through  the  mire 
as  best  he  could,  when  all  of  a  sudden  it  come 
out  as  she  had  one  husband  as  she'd  com- 
pletely overlooked  and  never  divorced.  He 
turned  up  most  unexpectedly  and  come  at 
Elijah  about  the  kisses.  Then  they  told 
Elijah  he  couldn't  do  a  better  thing  by  his 
play  than  to  let  the  man  shoot  him  two  or 
261 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

three  times  in  places  as  would  let  him  be 
carried  pale  and  white  to  a  box  for  the  open- 
ing night;  and  then,  between  the  last  two 
acts,  marry  the  lady  and  let  it  be  in  all  the 
morning  papers.  You  can  maybe  think, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  how  such  a  idea  would  come 
to  the  man  as  is  to  be  shot.  But,  oh,  my, 
they  didn't  make  nothing  of  Elijah's  feelings 
in  the  matter.  Nothing  a  tall.  They  just 
set  right  to  work  and  called  a  meeting  of  the 
play  manager  and  the  stage  manager  and  the 
leading  lady's  manager  and  Elijah's  mana- 
ger, and  the  man  who  really  does  the  man- 
aging. They  all  got  together,  and  they 
drew  up  a  diagram  as  to  where  Elijah  was 
to  be  hit,  and  a  contract  for  him  and  the 
leading  lady  to  sign  as  they  wouldn't  marry 
anybody  else  in  the  meantime.  And  if  it 
hadn't  been  for  'Liza  Em'ly,  the  deal,  as 
they  called  it,  would  have  gone  straight 
through.  For  Elijah  was  so  dead  beat  by 
this  time  that  about  all  he  was  fit  for  was 
to  sit  on  a  electric  battery  with  a  ice  bag 
on  his  head,  and  look  up  words  in  a  stage 
262 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

dictionary  and  then  cross  'em  out  of  his 
play." 

"Oh,  I—"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"That's  just  what  'Liza  Em'ly  said  she 
said,"  rejoined  Susan  Clegg.  "I  tell  you, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  'Liza  Em'ly  is  no  fool  since 
her  book's  gone  into  the  thirty-seventh  edi- 
tion, and  that's  a  fact.  She  told  me  to-day 
as  when  she  realized  the  man  she  loved — 
for  'Liza  Em'ly  really  loves  Elijah ;  any  one 
can  see  that  just  by  looking  at  the  trained 
nurse  she's  got  him — was  being  murdered 
alive,  she  went  straight  up  and  took  a  hand 
in  the  matter  herself.  I  guess  she  had  a 
pretty  hard  time,  for  the  leading  lady 
wouldn't  hear  to  changing  any  of  what  they 
call  the  routing,  and  said  if  Elijah  wasn't 
shot  and  married  according  to  the  signed 
agreement,  she  wouldn't  play.  And  when  a 
leading  lady  won't  play,  then  is  when  you 
find  out  what  Shakespeare  really  did  write 
for,  according  to  'Liza  Em'ly.  For  a  little 
they  was  all  running  this  way  and  that 
way,  just  beside  themselves,  with  the  leading 
263 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

lady  in  the  Adirondacks  and  two  detectives 
watching  her  husband.  And  the  man  as 
was  painting  the  scenery  took  a  overdose  of 
chloral  and  went  off  with  all  his  ideas  in  his 
head,  and  that  unexpected  trouble  brought 
'em  all  together  again.  The  husband  came 
down  off  his  high  horse  and  said  he'd  take 
five  per  cent,  of  the  net —  Don't  ask  me 
what  that  means,  for  Mr.  Dill  don't  know 
either — and  the  littlest  chorus  girl  and  go  to 
Europe.  And  he  said,  too,  as  he'd  sign  a 
paper  first  releasing  Elijah  from  all  claim  on 
account  of  his  wife.  So  they  all  signed,  and 
he  sailed.  He  was  clear  out  to  sea  before 
they  discovered  as  he  had  another  wife  as 
he'd  never  divorced,  so  the  leading  lady 
could  of  married  Elijah,  after  all.  Well, 
that  was  a  pretty  mess,  with  a  husband  as 
had  no  claim  on  nobody  gone  off  to  Europe 
with  five  per  cent,  of  the  net.  The  stage 
manager  and  Elijah's  manager  took  the 
Mauretania  and  started  right  after  him,  for 
when  it  comes  to  five  per  cent,  on  any  kind 
of  stage  thing,  Mr.  Kimball  says,  any  mon- 
264 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

keying  counts  up  so  quick  that  even  hiring 
a  yacht  is  nothing  if  you  want  to  catch  that 
five  per  cent,  in  time.  So  they  was  off,  one 
in  the  captain's  room  and  the  other  in  the 
bridal  suite,  while  'Liza  Em'ly  was  down  in 
Savannah  getting  local  color  to  patch  up  the 
scenery,  leaving  Elijah  totally  unprotected 
on  his  battery  with  his  ideas. 

"But  Elijah  wasn't  to  be  left  in  peace  even 
now.  Seems  they  was  having  a  investiga- 
tion into  the  poor  quality  of  the  electricity  in 
the  city,  and  a  newspaper  opened  a  referen- 
dum and  made  'em  double  the  power.  The 
company  was  so  mad,  they  didn't  give  no 
warning  to  a  soul,  but  just  slid  up  the  needle 
from  100  to  200  right  then  and  there;  and 
one  of  the  results  was  they  blew  Elijah 
nearly  through  the  ceiling.  Nothing  in  the 
world  but  the  ice  bag  saved  him  from  having 
his  skull  caved  in,  and  the  specialist  thinks 
he's  got  a  concussion  in  his  sinus  right  now. 
Poor  Elijah!" 

"But — ?"  Mrs.  Lathrop  queried. 

"They  took  him  to  the  hospital,  and  from 

265 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

then  on  to  the  opening  night  he  had  nothing 
to  do  with  his  own  play.  The  leading  lady 
married  the  stage  manager  till  she  got  the 
stage  to  suit  her,  and  then  she  married  the 
man  who  really  does  the  managing  until  she 
got  everything  else  to  suit  her.  Next,  with- 
out letting  any  of  the  others  know,  she  mar- 
ried Elijah's  manager  secretly,  so  that  when 
poor  Elijah  in  the  hospital  thought  he  was 
looking  at  his  manager,  he  was  really  nurs- 
ing a  viper  in  his  bosom.  When  'Liza  Em'ly 
came  back  with  her  local  color,  they  told  her 
they  didn't  want  it  because  they  was  going 
to  have  the  camping-out  scene  in  the  parlor, 
and  play  the  people  all  liked  a  joke.  When 
she  went  to  a  lawyer  to  protest,  the  lawyer 
looked  through  all  Elijah's  contracts  and  said 
Elijah  had  never  stipulated  as  the  camping- 
out  scene  should  be  in  the  woods.  So  'Liza 
Em'ly  paid  him  fifty  dollars  and  come  away 
a  good  deal  wiser  than  she  went. 

"Then  come  the  opening  night,  and  Mr. 
Kimball  says  he  shall  never  forget  that  open- 
ing night  as  long  as  he  lives.     You  know  he 
266 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

bought  himself  one  of  those  hats  as  when 
you  sit  on  'em  just  gets  a  better  shape,  and 
then  he  went  up  to  see  his  own  nephew's  own 
play.  Seems  he  sat  on  his  hat  in  Elijah's 
own  box,  but  he  says  Elijah  was  looking 
very  bad  even  before  the  curtain  went  up. 
Seems  Elijah  didn't  expect  much,  but  he  did 
have  just  a  little  hope  that  here  and  there  in 
spots  he'd  see  some  of  his  own  play.  But 
the  hope  was  very  faint.  After  the  curtain 
went  up,  it  kept  getting  fainter.  Of  course 
Elijah  meant  it  for  a  tragedy  and  called  it 
Millicent;  and  seeing  the  title  changed  to 
Milly  Tilly  was  a  hard  blow  to  him  right  in 
the  beginning.  Seems  the  woman  poisoned 
herself  because  she  was  unhappy,  and  after 
she's  dead,  she  remembers  there  was  some 
poison  left  in  the  bottle,  and  so  she  wants  to 
warn  the  family.  It  was  a  very  nice  plot, 
Polly  White  thinks,  and  Elijah  was  wild 
over  it  'cause  there's  never  been  a  plot  used 
like  it.  But  of  course  his  idea  was  as  it 
should  be  took  seriously.  Do  you  wonder 
then,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that  the  first  time  in  the 
267 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

play  when  one  of  the  play  actors  turned 
round  he  nearly  died?  Mr.  Kimball  says 
he  nearly  died  himself.  He  says  he  never 
saw  anything  so  funny  as  those  chicken 
backs  in  all  his  life.  He  says  people  was 
just  laying  any  way  and  every  way  in  their 
seats,  wailing  to  stop,  so  they  could  stop  too. 
He  says  he  was  laughing  fit  to  kill  himself 
when  all  of  a  sudden  he  looked  up  to  see 
Elijah,  and  he  says  nothing  ever  give  him 
such  a  chill  as  Elijah's  then-and-there  ex- 
pression. Seems  Elijah  was  just  staring  at 
the  leading  lady  as  was  flapping  her  wings 
and  playing  crow,  while  the  gallery  was 
pounding  and  yelling  like  mad.  And  then 
Elijah  suddenly  shot  out  of  the  box  and 
round  behind  the  scenes  and  vanished  com- 
pletely." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  gasped  and  lifted  her  hands, 
but  no  word  issued  from  between  her  lips. 

"Well,  of  course  we  know  now  what  hap- 
pened, but  nobody  did  then.  Nobody  was 
expecting  him  on  the  stage,  before  the  scenes 
or  behind  'em,  and  Mr.  Kimball  didn't  know 
268 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

where  he  was  gone.  So  it  was  the  end  of 
the  piece  before  he  was  really  missed.  Then 
they  begun  to  hunt,  and  no  Elijah  high  or 
low  nowhere.  You  know  how  the  papers 
was  full  of  it,  and  there  would  have  been 
more  about  it,  only  Mr.  Kimball  and  'Liza 
Em'ly  supposed  it  was  just  advertising. 
Even  'Liza  Em'ly  thought  it  was  the  wrong 
kind  of  advertising  and  that  the  leading  lady 
had  seen  Elijah's  face  and  thought  it  was 
better  to  kidnap  him  until  the  play  got  set- 
tled down  her  way.  Seems  if  you  can  keep 
a  play  going  any  kind  of  a  way  for  a  little 
while,  you  can't  never  change  it  afterwards, 
no  matter  what  you've  put  in  it.  It's  all 
most  remarkable  business,  a  play  is.  But 
anyway,  wherever  he  was,  they  all  moved 
on  to  the  next  town  anyhow.  'Liza  Em'ly 
and  Mr.  Kimball  went  right  with  them  to 
protect  Elijah's  interest,  as  it  was  plain  to 
be  seen  from  where  Elijah's  manager  was 
sleeping,  where  his  interest  was  now.  And 
as  soon  as  they  begun  to  unload  the  scenery, 
the  afternoon  of  that  day,  whatever  do  you 
269 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

suppose?  There  was  Elijah,  just  where 
he'd  fell  when  he  tripped  over  the  first  scene. 
They'd  carted  him  off  in  the  triangle  that 
unfolds  into  a  grand  piano,  right  along  to 
the  baggage-car,  where  they'd  piled  the 
whole  of  his  play  on  top  of  him,  ending  up 
even  with  the  chicken  feathers." 

"Great  heav — !"  cried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"So  he  said,"  interrupted  Miss  Clegg. 
"But  there  was  no  help  for  it.  Seems  while 
you're  playing  Act  III.  of  a  play,  Act  II.  is 
getting  packed  up,  and  Act  I.  is  already  in 
the  train.  So  Elijah  was  all  packed  and 
pretty  flat  before  they  even  missed  him,  and 
most  crazy  before  he  was  found.  Well,  and 
so  to  try  and  soothe  him  they  took  him  to  the 
theater  that  night  again,  and  the  leading 
lady,  when  she  looked  at  him  and  saw  how 
awful  weak  he  looked,  sent  him  in  a  new 
idea  she'd  got,  which  was  to  let  her  have  a 
poster  done  of  him  packed  up  in  the  scenery. 
Then  every  night  he  could  sit  in  a  box  and 
at  a  certain  sign  give  a  yell  and  shoot  out. 
Then  she'd  make  a  speech  about  his  having 
270 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

been  in  the  scenery  car  all  the  night  before, 
and  being  naturally  kind  of  excited.  She 
said  it  would  make  the  play  draw  like  mad. 
Well,  Elijah  wouldn't  consent  to  that  a  tall. 
And  then  again  they  worked  with  him  and 
talked  to  him  and  called  him  a  fool  till  he 
really  begun  to  get  awfully  scared.  They 
had  in  all  the  managers  together,  and  they 
wouldn't  let  him  consult  any  one.  Seems 
they  just  all  sat  looking  at  his  forehead  just 
over  his  nose  where  you  hypnotize  people, 
and  he  kept  getting  more  and  more  scared. 
Seems  he  told  his  nurse,  during  what  they 
call  a  lucid  interval,  that  you  can  talk  all  you 
please  about  will  power — and  it  may  be  true 
of  people  in  general — but  no  rule  ever  made 
on  earth  can  possibly  apply  to  any  one  who 
has  just  written  a  play.  There's  something 
about  writing  a  play  as  takes  all  the  marrow 
out  of  your  bones  and  the  blood  out  of  your 
body.  And  he  says  he  wasn't  no  more  re- 
sponsible when  he  signed  that  contract  to  go 
mad  in  a  box  every  evening  and  at  least  one 
matinee  every  week  than  a  grasshopper.  He 
271 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

says  his  one  and  only  thought  by  that  time 
was  to  get  away  from  'em  and  make  a  break 
to  where  he'd  never  hear  about  his  play 
again.  But  after  he'd  signed,  they  never  let 
him  out  of  sight.  They  locked  him  up  in  a 
dressing-room  with  the  leading  lady's  pet 
mouse  until  after  the  performance,  and 
then  they  took  him  and  introduced  him  to 
two  very  big  managers  as  was  engaged  to  do 
nothing  except  manage  him  nights  in  the 
box. 

"Well,  you  know  the  rest,  Mrs.  Lathrop. 
He  really  did  go  mad,  then,  and  we've  got 
him  here  now  helpless,  getting  rich  almost  as 
fast  as  'Liza  Em'ly,  and  crazy  as  a  loon.  I 
declare,  it's  one  of  the  saddest  cases  I  ever 
see.  I  don't  know  whatever  can  be  done. 
They  say  as  fast  as  he  gets  sane,  the  play'll 
surely  drive  him  crazy  again,  so  I  don't  see 
what  'Liza  Em'ly  will  do.  She  set  with  me 
the  whole  afternoon  and  talked  very  nicely 
about  it  all.  To  see  her  here,  you'd  never 
think  she  could  act  the  way  Mrs.  Macy  and 
Mrs.  Fisher  tell  about.  I  can  see  she's  got  a 
272 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

little  airy,  and  she  says  she  misses  her  maid 
and  her  secretary  more  than  she  ever  tells  the 
minister's  family;  but  on  the  whole  I  like 
her  very  much,  and  her  devotion  to  Elijah  is 
most  beautiful.  She  says  he's  the  one  love  of 
her  life,  and  she  shall  marry  him  if  ever  he 
gets  sense  enough  to  know  what  he's  doing. 
If  he  doesn't,  she  says  she  shall  take  a  yacht 
and  sail  with  him  and  write  books  until  he 
dies.  She  says  they  can  land  once  in  a  while 
to  get  their  provisions  and  their  royalties. 
But  she  says  the  only  possible  salvation  for 
Elijah,  as  things  are  now,  will  be  to  stay 
where  he  never  sees  a  car  to  remind  him  of 
scenery,  or  a  house  to  remind  him  of  a  stage, 
for  years  and  years  to  come.  I  asked  her 
what  she  really  thought  of  his  play,  and  she 
said  she  thought  the  leading  lady  was  just 
right  and  very  clever,  only  Elijah  was  too 
sensitive  a  nature  to  understand  little  artistic 
touches  like  the  chicken  feathers.  She  says 
folks  are  too  tired  nowadays  to  be  bothered 
to  laugh.  They  want  to  be  made  to  laugh 
without  even  thinking.  She  says  Elijah  is  a 
273 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

earnest  nature  as  likes  to  work  his  laughs  out 
very  carefully  and  conscientious;  but  the 
leading  lady  understands  getting  the  same 
effect,  only  a  million  times  quicker,  with 
chicken  feathers  and  divorces.  'Liza  Em'ly 
says  the  leading  lady  is  very  fair  according  to 
her  own  idea  of  fairness.  She  didn't  have 
no  money  to  put  in  the  play,  so  she  agreed  to 
put  in  four  divorces  and  one  scandal  as  her 
part  of  the  stock.  Now  the  play's  only  been 
on  a  month,  and  she's  paid  up  everything  ex- 
cept one  divorce  and  the  scandal;  and  she's 
done  so  well  they're  trying  to  work  up  some 
scheme  to  let  her  pay  both  those  off  at  the 
same  time.  The  play  is  going  fine.  They 
print  columns  about  Elijah  and  his  madness, 
and  the  whole  company  is  learning  to  crow 
together  at  the  end  of  the  second  act.  Every 
night  they  take  out  a  little  of  what  Elijah 
wrote,  and  the  main  manager  says  that 
there'll  soon  be  nothing  of  Elijah  left  in  ex- 
cept the  ghost,  and  the  ghost  of  the  bottle, 
and  the  agreement  to  pay  Elijah  his  royal- 
ties. And  according  to  the  main  manager's 
274 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

views,  that's  being  pretty  fair  and  square 
with  Elijah." 

"Do  you — ?"  queried  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Well,  I  don't  know,"  answered  Miss 
Clegg,  "I  really  d'n  know  what  to  say.  I'm 
kind  of  dumb  did  over  both  'Liza  Em'ly  and 
Elijah,  for  you  know  as  well  as  I  do,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  that  nobody  ever  looked  for  those 
kind  of  things  from  them." 

"Shall—?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  if  it  ever  comes  where  I  can,"  re- 
sponded Miss  Clegg,  "I  shall  like  to  see  it 
very  much." 

"Did—?"  pressed  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Oh,  yes,  I  asked  her,"  Susan  admitted,  "I 
asked  her  fair  and  square.  I  says :  '  'Liza 
Em'ly,  there's  no  use  denying  as  you've  used 
real  people  in  this  community  in  your  book, 
and  now  I  want  to  know  who  is  Deacon 
Tooker  ?'  She  said  Deacon  Tooker  was  just 
the  book  itself.  She  seemed  more  amused 
than  there  was  any  particular  sense  in ;  but  I 
thought  if  anything  could  give  her  a  good 
laugh,  it  wasn't  me  would  begrudge  her. 
275 


SUSAN  CLEGG'S  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

There's  this  to  be  said  for  our  young  folks 
when  they  do  get  rich,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and 
that  is  that  they're  nice  about  it,  and  it  makes 
every  one  feel  kindly  towards  'em.  Every 
one  feels  kindly  towards  Jathrop,  and  every 
one  feels  kindly  towards  'Liza  Em'ly,  and 
as  for  poor,  dear  Elijah — Well !" 

The  tone  was  expressive  enough.  Mrs. 
Lathrop  shook  her  head  sadly.  Then  both 
were  silent. 


XII 
SUSAN  CLEGG'S  DISAPPEARANCE 

THE  "building-over"  of  Susan  Clegg 
and  her  friend,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  was 
completed  during  the  second  week  in  Decem- 
ber, and  in  less  than  twenty-four  hours  they 
were  once  more  established  in  their  own 
dwellings,  surrounded  by  their  own  goods 
and  chattels.  For  only  the  briefest  space, 
however,  did  Miss  Clegg  remain  where  she 
was  put.  Then  she  hurried  through  the  pas- 
sageway afforded  by  the  connecting  pergola 
and  burst  excitedly  into  her  neighbor's  brand 
new  kitchen  in  the  very  center  of  which  sat 
Mrs.  Lathrop  in  her  old-gold-plush  station- 
ary rocker,  calmly  surveying  her  domiciliary 
spick-and-spanness.  On  her  lap  lay  a  justr 
opened  letter;  but  for  once  the  scrupulously 
observing  Miss  Clegg  failed  to  observe. 
She  was  too  full  of  fresh  trials. 
277 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"I  d'n  know  whatever  sins  I  committed  in 
this  world,  Mrs.  Lathrop,"  she  began,  drop- 
ping into  the  nearest  chair  and  facing  her 
friend  in  an  upright,  a  little  bent  forward 
attitude  that  was  clearly  pugnacious,  "that  I 
should  have  these  things  visited  upon  me. 
The  Lord  knows,  just  the  same  as  you  do,  as 
I've  always  been  a  good  and  pure  woman, 
loving  my  neighbors  like  myself  and  doing 
all  my  Christian  duties  as  I  was  give  to  see 
'em.  When  I  was  tore  up  from  my  home 
by  the  roots  and  cast  wilted  and  faded  upon 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  where  the  infant  memo- 
ries of  Hiram  certainly  wasn't  calculated  to 
do  no  reviving,  I  made  the  best  of  it.  I 
made  the  best  of  Lucy  and  a  dog  with  a  cold 
nose,  too ;  and  I  bore  up  with  courage  and  no 
complaint  under  Mrs.  Allen  and  her  Persian 
religion.  And  I  did  it  all  to  please  you,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  and  your  fool  of  a  son,  Jathrop, 
whose  money,  it's  my  opinion,  has  acted  on 
him  in  a  most  injurious  way.  He  never  had 
much  sense,  as  you  yourself  know,  but  now 
he  ain't  got  no  sense  a  tall" 

278 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

"I  don't—"  Mrs.  Lathrop  started  gently  to 
protest. 

"Well,  I  do,"  rejoined  Susan  Clegg  spirit- 
edly ;  "and  if  you  don't,  you  ought  to.  Any- 
how, I  mean  to  tell  you,  if  it's  the  last  act  of 
my  life.  Anybody  as  has  any  sense  a  tall 
must  have  seen  that  building  over  was  just 
a  mite  removed  from  building  new;  and 
what's  new  never  did  go  with  what's  old, 
and  it  never  will.  If  we  was  to  be  built 
over,  we  ought  to  have  been  all  built  over  or 
let  alone.  Jathrop's  built  the  houses  over, 
but  he  ain't  built  over  the  furnishings,  and 
the  built-over  houses  and  the  not-built-over 
furniture  and  carpets  and  window  shades 
and  pots  and  kettles  and  pans  and  china  and 
linen  and  everything  else  don't  agree  and 
just  naturally  can't  and  never  can.  They're 
fighting  now  like  sixty,  and  they'll  go  on 
fighting  the  longer  they're  kept  together. 
My  house  was  restful  and  peaceful  before, 
but  now  it's  like  a  circus  with  all  the  wild  ani- 
mals let  loose.  And  I  can  tell  you  this,  Mrs. 
Lathrop ;  my  things  is  getting  the  worst  of  it. 
279 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Why,  before  they  went  to  storage  at  Mr. 
Shores',  they  was  in  the  best  repair  you  ever 
see,  and  now  it  would  make  your  heart  ache 
to  look  at  'em.  They've  aged  a  century  at 
least  during  the  summer.  They're  wrinkled 
and  halt  and  lame  and  blind,  and  the  new 
paper  on  the  walls  and  the  new  polish  on  the 
floors  and  the  new  paint  on  the  woodwork  is 
making  'em  look  sicker  and  sicker  every  min- 
ute. If  there's  a  society  for  the  prevention 
of  cruelty  to  furniture  and  other  household 
goods,  it  ought  to  put  Jathrop  Lathrop  in 
prison.  I  feel  so  sorry  for  those  poor  tables 
and  chairs  and  bedsteads  and  all  the  rest  of 
'em  as  I  could  cry  my  eyes  out  this  very 
minute.  There's  one  walnut,  haircloth  sofa 
as  Father  laid  on  before  he  was  took  to  his 
bed  as  is  pitiful  to  behold.  It  looks  sicker 
than  Father  did  even  in  his  last  hours,  and  I 
wouldn't  be  surprised  any  minute  to  see  it 
just  turn  over  all  of  itself  and  give  up -the 
ghost.  And  everything  has  on  such  a  re- 
proachful look  it's  more  than  human  nature 
can  bear  to  face  it.  If  I'd  ever  thought  as 
280 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

being  built  over  would  of  come  to  this,  I'd 
of  gone  on  my  knees  and  worked  'em  to  the 
bare  bones  before  I'd  of  put  up  with  it." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  continued  to  rock  in  silence. 

"Still,  there's  no  cloud,  however  black,  as 
hasn't  got  some  silk  in  its  lining,  and  the  silk 
in  this  is  the  clock  as  Father  gave  Mother, 
which  was  supposed  to  be  marble  and  wasn't. 
Much  as  I  hated  that  clock,  I  couldn't  have 
borne  to  see  its  agonies  when  set  on  by  the 
new  fireplace  below,  and  the  pink  and  gold 
wall  paper  behind,  and  the  roses  and  cupids 
in  the  cornish  above.  It  must  just  of  shriv- 
eled in  shame  instead  of  going  out  in 
glorious  flight,  as  it  did  when  I  set  it  flying 
at  the  end  of  the  bedslat.  Lord  knows, 
though,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that's  a  small  thing 
to  be  thankful  for ;  and  it's  the  only  thing.  I 
haven't  begun  yet  to  tell  you  all.  And  I 
don't  intend  to.  There's  a  limit  to  my 
temper,  and  if  I  once  got  started,  there's  no 
saying  where  I'd  end.  But  there's  one  thing 
more  as  I  can't  hold  in,  and  it's  the  thing  as 
was  marked  on  the  plans :  'But.  Pan.'  I 
281 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

never  did  understand  why  I  should  be  give  a 
separate  room  to  keep  butter  pans  in,  seeing 
as  I  ain't  got  no  cow,  let  alone  no  dairy.  And 
even  if  I  had,  why  I  should  keep  my  butter 
pans  or  my  milk  pans  either  in  a  little  alley- 
way between  the  kitchen  and  the  dining- 
room,  just  where  the  heat  and  smells  could 
get  at  'em  from  one  side  and  the  flies  from 
both,  not  to  mention  the  added  footsteps  put 
on  me  journeying  from  the  stove  to  the  din- 
ner table.  You  can  see  for  yourself,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  there's  no  sense  in  it,  whatever. 
But  I'd  never  say  a  word  about  it,  if  that  was 
all.  But  it  ain't  all.  It's  the  littlest  part. 
For  Jathrop's  cruelty  hasn't  stopped  with 
torturing  the  furniture.  It's  clear  he 
couldn't  be  satisfied  till  he  fixed  up  a  trap  as 
sooner  or  later  would  hit  me  square  in  the 
face  and  break  my  nose.  At  both  ends  of 
his  'But.  Pan.'  he's  had  hung  doors  as  swing, 
and  springs  on  'em  to  make  'em  swing  hard 
and  deadly.  What  either  one  of  those 
swinging  doors  might  do  to  my  features,  let 
alone  to  the  pudding  or  stew  I  might  be 
282 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

carrying,  it  isn't  in  mortal  tongue  to  express. 
If  I  could  find  one  thing  as  was  right  in  the 
whole  house,  I'd  be  fair  and  square  enough  to 
overlook  the  others;  but  there  ain't  to  my 
mind  a  single  solitary  betterment.  There's 
glass  knobs  on  all  the  doors  as  will  show 
every  finger  mark,  and  will  keep  me  busy 
wiping  from  dawn  to  dark.  The  old  brown 
knobs  never  showed  nothing  and  didn't  never 
have  to  be  thought  of,  let  alone  polished. 
It's  always  been  my  idea  as  a  cupboard  was  a 
place  to  shut  things  up  in  out  of  sight,  and 
here  if  he  hasn't  gone  and  put  glass  doors 
on  the  one  in  the  corner  of  the  dining  room, 
so  as  every  one  can  see  just  what's  meant  to 
be  hid.  It's  clear  to  be  seen  he's  crazy  on  the 
subject  of  glass,  which  I  ain't  and  never 
have  been.  And  I  don't  like  the  way  he's 
stinted  things  as  is  necessary  and  put  all  the 
money  in  things  as  had  better  been  left  out. 
Necessities  before  everything  is  my  motto. 
What  use,  I'd  like  to  know,  is  that  cupid  and 
rose  cornish  ?  But  he  puts  that  there  just  to 
catch  dust  and  leaves  out  the  whole  of  one 

283 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

parlor  wall.  If  you'll  believe  me,  Mrs.  La- 
throp,  there's  not  a  hair  or  hide  of  a  wall  be- 
tween my  entry  hall  and  my  parlor.  Noth- 
ing but  a  pair  of  white  posts  as  most  people 
use  on  their  piazzas.  How  I'm  ever  going 
to  keep  that  parlor  dark  I  don't  see ;  for  he's 
got  glass  over  the  front  door  and  on  both 
sides  of  it,  and  no  shutters  to  keep  the  sun 
out.  He's  built  in  both  the  kitchen  stove 
and  the  ice  box,  and  for  the  life  of  me,  I 
can't  find  no  reasonable  way  of  taking  the 
ashes  out  of  the  one  or  the  water  out  of  the 
other.  The  builder  says  the  ashes  dump  into 
a  place  in  the  cellar  and  the  water  from  the 
ice  drains  down  a  pipe  underneath  the  house. 
But  I  don't  like  neither  plan.  The  drip  from 
a  ice  box  is  a  very  cheering  sound,  I  think, 
and  with  hot  ashes  going  down  cellar  where 
you  can't  see  'em,  I'll  be  in  deadly  fear  of  the 
house  going  up  in  smoke  while  I'm  dreaming 
in  my  bed.  The  long  and  the  short  of  it  is, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  I  feel  as  I  have  been  assaulted 
and  robbed.  Jathrop's  took  away  my  home 
and  left  me  a  house  as  isn't  a  home  to  me 
284 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

and  never  can  be.  And  as  far  as  I  can  see, 
he's  done  the  same  to  you,  which  is  ten  thou- 
sand times  worse,  you  being  his  mother." 

"I — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop,  taking  up  the 
letter  from  her  lap  so  that  at  last  it  was 
forced  upon  Susan's  observance. 

"From  him,  I  suppose,"  Miss  Clegg  in- 
stantly concluded,  reaching  for  it.  "If  he's 
got  anything  to  say  in  his  defence,  I'm  sure 
I'd  delight  to  read  it.  But  no  matter  what 
he  says,  he  can't  undo  to  me  what  he's  done 
to  me.  I'll  never  feel  the  same  towards  Ja- 
throp,  your  son  or  not  your  son,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, as  long  as  I  live." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  passed  the  letter  to  Miss 
Clegg.  Like  all  of  Jathrop's  letters,  it  was 
brief  and  to  the  point.  He  announced  that 
he  would  spend  Christmas  with  his  mother 
in  her  rebuilt  home  and  would  bring  with 
him  a  friend  as  his  guest.  Susan  read  it 
over  twice,  turning  the  page  each  time,  evi- 
dently in  hope  of  finding  an  enlightening 
postscript. 

"Well,  of  all  things !"  she  exclaimed,  as  she 
285 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

passed  the  letter  back  to  her  friend.  "Com- 
ing to  see  his  work  of  destruction  and  going 
to  bring  her  with  him !" 

"He  don't — "  Mrs.  Lathrop  endeavored  to 
explain. 

"He  don't,  because  he  don't  dare;  but 
there's  no  question  what  he  means.  He's 
bringing  the  sefiora.  And  he  wouldn't  bring 
her  if  it  wasn't  that  he's  going  to  marry  her. 
Even  you  must  see  that.  And  if  there  was 
ever  a  insult  multiplied  by  perjury,  Jathrop's 
done  it  in  that  action.  It's  a  good  thing  he 
didn't  ask :  'How's  Susan  Clegg  ?'  this  time, 
as  he  did  the  time  he  was  coming  back  from 
the  Klondike.  For  I  don't  believe  I  could 
ever  have  stood  that.  All  I  can  say,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  is  as  I'm  sorry  for  you  from  the 
soles  of  my  feet  up.  You'll  never  in  the 
world  be  able  to  get  up  a  Christmas  dinner  as 
will  please  any  sefiora,  you  can  take  my  word 
on  that.  And  not  to  please  her  will  be  a  bad 
beginning  with  a  senora  as  is  to  be  your  fu- 
ture daughter-in-law.  Sefioras  don't  care 
shucks  for  turkey  and  mince  pie.  They're 
286 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

not  used  to  'em  and  likely  to  get  .indigestion 
from  'em,  and  think  what  it  would  mean  to 
Jathrop,  let  alone  to  her,  if  she  should  be  car- 
ried off  by  a  acute  attack  right  here  in  your 
new,  built-over  house,  at  the  dinner  table. 
He'd  blame  it  on  you,  and  like  as  not  she'd 
haunt  you  the  rest  of  your  living  days.  No, 
sir.  You've  got  to  give  her  Spanish  omelets 
with  lots  of  red  peppers  in  'em,  and  every- 
thing else  Creole  style,  which  means  all  he't 
up  with  tabasco  sauce  fit  to  burn  out  your  in- 
sides.  It's  eating  like  that  as  makes  those 
Spaniards  and  Cubans  so  dark  colored  you 
can't  tell  'em  from  mulattoes.  The  peppers 
and  the  tabasco  sauce  bakes  'em  brown  on 
the  outside,  after  leaving  'em  all  scorched 
and  parched  within." 

For  once,  however,  Susan  Clegg  was 
wrong  in  her  deduction.  Jathrop  arrived  in 
a  red  automobile  on  the  day  before  Christ- 
mas, with  a  chauffeur  in  bear-skins  driving, 
and  a  guest  in  sealskin  beside  him.  But  the 
guest  was  not  the  senora.  It  was  one  of  Ja- 
throp's  millionaire  friends  who,  Jathrop  said, 

287 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

could  buy  and  sell  him  twenty  times  over. 
He  was  a  small  man  with  a  bald  head  and  a 
red  beard  and  old  enough  to  be  Jathrop's 
father. 

Miss  Clegg  viewed  the  arrival  from  her 
bedroom  window  and  was  so  glad  it  wasn't 
the  senora  that  she  at  once  set  about  baking 
extra  doughnuts  and  mince  pie  to  contribute 
to  the  festivities  of  the  morrow.  This  occu- 
pied her  until  supper  time.  Then  she  made 
a  hurried  meal,  washed  her  one  plate  and  cup 
and  saucer,  and  loaded  down  with  her  thank 
offering,  flitted  through  the  pergola  and  in  at 
Mrs.  Lathrop's  kitchen  door.  The  kitchen 
was  empty,  but  voices  penetrating  from  the 
dining  room  told  her  that  her  friend  and  her 
visitors  were  still  at  table.  Being  a  trifle 
nervous  and  unable  to  sit  quietly,  she  began 
at  once  to  put  the  disordered  kitchen  into 
some  degree  of  order,  purely  for  the  sake  of 
occupation. 

She  had  just  finished  washing  and  scour- 
ing the  pots  and  pans  and  was  flushing  the 
waste-pipe  of  Mrs.  Lathrop's  new  porcelain 
288 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

sink  with  lye-water  so  strong  that  her  eyes 
ran  tears  from  the  fumes,  when  the  voices 
growing  more  and  more  audible  told  her  that 
Jathrop  was  leading  his  mother  and  his  guest 
toward  the  kitchen.  She  just  had  time  hur- 
riedly to  dry  her  hands  on  the  roller  towel 
when  they  appeared. 

"Well,  well,"  exclaimed  Jathrop,  in  appar- 
ent surprise,  "if  here  ain't  our  old  friend, 
Susan  Clegg!" 

There  is  no  question  that  Miss  Clegg  was 
slightly  flustered  at  thus  being  taken  un- 
awares, but  she  recovered  herself  promptly, 
and  shook  hands  cordially  with  Jathrop  and 
not  less  cordially  with  the  little  millionaire, 
whom  he  introduced  as  Mr.  Kettlewell.  And 
Mr.  Kettlewell  was  cordiality  itself.  Every- 
body sat  down,  right  there  in  the  kitchen  and 
talked  for  a  full  hour,  and  in  the  course  of 
the  talk,  Jathrop  told  Susan  that  he  had  ar- 
ranged with  a  department  store  in  New  York 
to  let  her  have  whatever  she  needed  for  her 
built-over  house  and  charge  the  same  to  his 
account.  She  could  select  the  things  from 
289 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

the  firm's  catalogue,  or  go  to  the  city  at  his 
expense  and  pick  out  the  actual  articles.  It 
was  his  Christmas  present  to  his  mother's 
and  his  own  oldest  friend.  In  conclusion, 
Jathrop  joined  with  his  mother  in  an  invita- 
tion to  Susan  to  take  Christmas  dinner  with 
them;  and  Mr.  Kettlewell  smilingly  begged 
her,  for  his  sake,  not  to  refuse.  Altogether 
Susan  had  the  pleasantest  evening  she  had 
experienced  in  years,  and  the  next  morning, 
while  Jathrop  and  Mr.  Kettlewell  were  off  in 
the  car  after  evergreens  with  which  to  deco- 
rate the  two  houses,  she  ran  over  with  the 
express  purpose  of  telling  Mrs.  Lathrop  so. 

"Jathrop  mayn't  have  much  judgment 
when  it  comes  to  selecting  architects,"  she  be- 
gan, "nor  again  when  it  comes  to  selecting 
servants,  as  was  proved  by  his  bringing  that 
Hop  Loo  all  the  way  from  the  Klondike. 
Nor  again,  neither,  when  it  comes  to  wives, 
if  it's  a  real  fact  that  he's  going  to  marry 
a  brown-baked  senora ;  but  there's  no  getting 
away  from  the  fact  that  he's  a  king  in  choos- 
ing his  men  friends.  I've  seen  men  in  my 
290 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

life  of  all  sorts  and  descriptions,  from  the 
minister  to  the  blacksmith,  but  I  ain't  never 
see  before  such  a  handsome,  high-minded, 
superior  gentleman  as  Jathrop's  friend,  Mr. 
Kettlewell.  I  never  thought  much  of  bald- 
headed  men  before,  but  his  head  is  so  white 
and  shiny,  it's  a  pleasure  to  look  at  it.  And  I 
always  just  hated  a  red  beard ;  but  Mr.  Ket- 
tlewell's  beard  is  of  a  different  red.  It's  a 
nice,  warm,  comforting  red  as  makes  you  feel 
as  cosy  as  the  glow  of  a  red-hot  stove  when 
the  thermometer's  down  around  zero.  I 
can't  say  either,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  as  I  wasn't 
more  or  less  prejudiced  against  men  as  never 
rightly  grew  up,  but  stopped  in  the  women's 
sizes.  But  there's  a  something  about  Mr. 
Kettlewell's  proportions  as  gives  you  the  idea 
he's  really  taller  than  he  seems.  And  there's 
only  one  thing  to  compare  his  voice  to.  It's 
milk  and  honey.  My  lands,  what  a  sweet, 
clear-rolling,  liquid  voice  that  Mr.  Kettlewell 
has!" 

"Ja — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"Yes,  I  heard  him.  But  I  don't  put  that 
291 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

against  Mr.  Kettlewell,  not  a  tall.  I'm  sure 
he  made  every  penny  of  it  honestly,  and  if 
he's  retired  from  business  now,  it  don't  mean 
he's  quit  work.  It's  no  easy  job  cutting 
coupons  off  all  the  bonds  he  must  have,  and 
collecting  rents  is  a  occupation  I  don't  envy 
nobody.  It's  the  penalty  that  rich  men  have 
to  pay  for  their  success.  They  work  hard 
to  get  the  principal,  and  then  they're  made  to 
work  twice  as  hard  to  get  the  interest. 
There's  no  such  thing  as  rest  for  the  rich 
any  more'n  there  is  for  the  poor.  I  used  to 
think  before  Father  died  as  I'd  like  to  roll  in 
wealth,  but  it  ain't  no  easy  rolling,  I  can  tell 
you  that,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  especially  when 
you've  got  a  tenant  like  Mrs.  Macy,  who 
won't  buy  so  much  as  a  gas-tip  or  do  so  much 
as  drive  a  nail  without  charging  it  up  to  the 
owner." 

Miss  Clegg's  participation  in  the  Christ- 
mas dinner  at  her  neighbors'  was  twofold. 
She  took  part  in  its  preparation  as  well  as  in 
its  discussion.  It  was  her  soup  which  began 
it,  it  was  her  "stuffing"  which  added  zest  to 
292 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  roast  turkey,  it  was  her  cranberry  sauce 
which  sweetened  contrastingly  the  high  sea- 
soning, and  it  was  her  mince  pie  which 
brought  the  repast  to  a  fitting  and  enjoyable 
close.  Seated  opposite  to  Mr.  Kettlewell, 
where  she  could  revel  in  a  full  view  of  his 
shining  pate  and  his  warmly  comforting 
whiskers,  her  enjoyment  was  ocular  as  well 
as  gustatory ;  and  under  the  caressing  sweet- 
ness of  his  voice  it  was  likewise  auricular. 
For  the  occasion  Jathrop  had  provided  a  fine 
vintage  champagne,  and  though  Miss  Clegg, 
whose  total-abstinence  principles  forbade 
her  to  even  taste,  refrained  from  so  much  as 
touching  her  lips  to  the  edge  of  her  glass,  she 
unquestionably  warmed  in  the  stimulating 
atmosphere  of  the  sparkling,  bubbling, 
golden  juice  of  the  grape.  To  her  it  was  in- 
deed the  red-letter  Christmas  of  her  life,  and 
every  incident,  of  the  dinner  especially,  was 
a  matter  for  reflection  and  rumination  in  the 
succeeding  hours. 

In  this  vale  of  tears,  however,  there  is  ap- 
parently no  great  joy  without  its  compensat- 
293 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ing  sorrow;  and  in  Susan  Clegg's  case  the 
one  followed  swiftly  on  the  heels  of  the  other. 
In  the  pale  gray  of  the  dawn  of  the  following 
day,  Susan  Clegg  dashed  wildly  out  of  her, 
kitchen  door  and  flitted  with  lifted  skirts 
across  the  brief  intervening  space  that  led  to 
Mrs.  Lathrop's  back  door.  As  pallid  as  the 
morning  itself,  her  scant  hair  streaming,  her 
eyes  wide  with  mixed  terror  and  indignation, 
she  burst  into  her  neighbor's  kitchen,  where 
to  her  great  relief  she  found  her  old  friend 
already  up  and  occupied. 

One  glimpse  of  Susan  was  enough  for 
Mrs.  Lathrop.  Up  went  her  hands  and 
down  went  she  on  to  the  nearest  chair  with 
an  inarticulate  gasp  of  horrified  yet  question- 
ing astonishment,  while  Miss  Clegg  flopped 
limply  into  another  at  the  end  of  the  kitchen 
table. 

There  she  must  have  sat  for  a  full  minute 
before  she  could  get  breath  to  utter  a  word, 
which,  being  contrary  to  all  her  habits,  was 
in  itself  terrifying  to  her  friend.  Eventu- 
ally, however,  she  forced  herself  to  assume 
294 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

an  upright  position  and  simultaneously 
attained  a  somewhat  feeble  attempt  at 
speech. 

"Well,  of  all  things  in  this  world  to  happen 
to  me!"  Then  she  paused  for  a  fresh 
breath,  which  being  utterly  without  prece- 
dent, added  mightily  to  Mrs.  Lathrop's 
alarm.  "And  even  now  at  this  minute  I 
don't  really  know  whether  I'm  more  dead 
than  alive,  or  more  alive  than  dead." 

Mrs.  Lathrop,  believing  that  the  situation 
being  extraordinary,  some  extraordinary  ef- 
fort on  her  part  was  demanded,  stirred  her- 
self to  a  prolonged  speech. 

"Don't  tell  me  I'm  looking—" 

"No,  I'm  not  a  ghost,  if  that's  what  you 
mean.  You  are  looking  at  Susan  Clegg  in 
the  flesh — all  the  flesh  that  ain't  been  scared 
clean  off  her.  But  it's  the  greatest  miracle 
as  ever  happened  in  this  community  that  it's 
my  body  and  not  my  spirit  as  is  here  to  tell 
the  tale.  My  house  was  broken  into  by  a 
burglar,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  I  was  tied  up 
and  gagged  in  one  of  my  own  chairs." 
295 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

Mrs.  Lathrop  just  gasped.  Susan  drew 
herself  up  a  little  straighter,  gaining  courage 
from  the  sound  of  her  own  voice,  and  strik- 
ing something  like  her  old  oral  gait. 

"I  was  gagged  for  five  hours,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, and  knowing  me  as  you  do  for  all 
these  years  and  years,  maybe  you  can  feel 
what  being  gagged  for  five  hours  and  not 
able  to  say  even  'boo'  meant  to  a  active  per- 
son like  me.  Every  one  of  those  hours  was 
like  a  eternity  in  a  Spanish  inferno  of  tor- 
ture. And  everything  I  possess  in  this 
world,  from  my  bonnet  and  striped  silk  dress 
to  Father's  deeds  at  the  mercy  of  that  gagger. 
And  all  I've  got  to  say  is  this:  If  I  hadn't 
of  been  built  over,  it  never  in  the  wide  cre- 
ation would  have  happened.  And  if  your 
son  Jathrop  thinks  he  can  ever  make  up  to 
me  for  being  gagged  by  inviting  me  to  a 
Christmas  dinner,  most  of  which  I  cooked 
with  my  own  hands,  and  offering  to  give  me 
strange  pieces  of  furniture  to  take  the  place 
of  pieces  as  is  old  friends  and  dearer  than 
the  apples  of  my  two  eyes,  he'd  better  do 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

some  more  thinking.  There  never  was  noth- 
ing about  the  house  I  was  born  in  and  my 
mother  and  father  died  in  to  make  a  burglar 
look  at  it  twice.  No  burglar  as  had  any 
respect  for  himself  or  his  calling,  Mrs.  La- 
throp,  would  have  looked  at  it  once  or 
knowed  as  it  was  there.  But  built  over  it's 
as  different  as  diamon's  is  from  pebbles.  It 
looks  money  from  the  tips  of  its  lightning 
rods  to  its  cellar  windows  and  is  as  inviting  to 
robbers  as  if  it  had  a  sign  on  the  gatepost, 
reading :  'Walk  in !'  So,  however  you  look 
at  it,  there's  nobody  responsible  for  my  gag- 
ging and  for  whatever  is  missing  but  one 
man,  and  that  man  is  Jathrop  Lathrop.  It's 
easy  to  be  seen  as  he's  no  more  fit  to  have 
money  than  a  crow  as  steals  gold  trinkets 
that  cost  fortunes  and  goes  and  hides  'em  in 
hollow  trees.  He  was  born  poor,  and  the 
Lord  meant  him  to  stay  poor,  no  matter  what 
Mrs.  Allen  and  her  Persian  religion  has  to 
say  about  things  as  happens  being  meant  to 
happen.  The  Lord  hadn't  nothing  to  do 
with  Jathrop  going  to  the  Klondike  and  get- 
297 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ting  rich,  you  can  be  certain  about  that.  If 
he  hadn't  been  fool  enough  to  take  a  kicking 
cow  for  a  perfectly  good  debt  and  then  let  it 
loose  to  ride  over  a  peaceful  and  long-suffer- 
ing community,  he'd  'a'  lived  and  died  a 
pauper  in  this  here  very  town.  So's  far  as 
I  can  see  it  was  the  devil  and  not  the  Lord 
as  guided  Jathrop  from  the  first,  and  every- 
thing as  has  happened  since  shows  the  devil 
is  still  guiding  him.  Everything  he  turns  his 
mind  to  goes  by  contraries.  I'm  not  saying 
anything  against  the  goodness  of  Jathrop's 
intentions,  mind  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  no 
matter  how  good  they  are,  evil  and  misery 
certainly  seems  sure  to  follow." 

The  tirade  stirred  Mrs.  Lathrop  to  her 
feet,  but  she  was  not  resentful.  She  knew 
that  Susan  Clegg's  bitterness  was  confined  to 
her  tongue,  and  that  even  with  that  she  could 
salve  as  well  as  sting. 

"Can't  I—?"  she  suggested. 

"Indeed  you  can,"  answered  Miss  Clegg. 
"I  never  felt  as  I  needed  a  cup  of  tea  more, 
and  if  the  doughnuts  I  brought  you  ain't  all 
298 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

eat  up,  I'd  relish  four  or  five  of  'em  right 
now." 

"You  haven't — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
taking  down  the  teapot. 

"No;  but  I'm  coming  to  it.  I  begun  with 
the  cause,  and  the  effect'll  come  trailing  after 
like  the  tails  of  Mary's  little  lambs.  Only 
the  tails  in  this  case  was  bigger  than 
the  sheep.  It  may  have  been  hearing  the 
noise  Jathrop  makes  when  he  eats,  or  it  may 
have  been  your  turkey  gravy  or  your  bis- 
cuits, Mrs.  Lathrop,  or  all  of  'em  put  to- 
gether. Not  knowing  which,  I'm  not  foolish 
enough  to  blame  one  more'n  the  other.  But 
it's  a  fact  as  is  undeniable  that  I  never  slept 
poorer  than  last  night.  I  was  in  bed  by 
nine,  but  I  never  closed  my  eyes  till  eleven, 
and  I  certainly  heard  the  clock  strike  mid- 
night. I  counted  goats  jumping  over  a  stile, 
and  I  counted  'em  backward  as  well  as  for- 
ward, but  I  heard  one  struck,  and  I  heard 
two.  And  then  I  heard  something  as  set  my 
hair  up  on  end  and  the  gooseflesh  sprouting 
all  over  me.  It  sounded  like  footsteps  in  the 
299 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

'But.  Pan./  and  they  was  too  heavy  for  the 
cat's,  I  could  tell  that  at  once,  though  at  two 
in  the  morning  it's  surprising  how  loud  a 
cat's  footsteps  can  sound,  especially  when  it's 
reached  the  pouncing  stage,  and  the  rat  ain't 
got  no  hole  to  run  to.  I'd  forgot  to  put  the 
turkey  leg  in  the  ice-box  as  I'd  carried  home 
with  me,  and  all  I  could  think  of  was  that  if 
it  was  the  cat,  there'd  be  nothing  left  on  that 
bone  by  morning,  unless  I  stopped  things 
right  then  and  immediately.  You'd  never 
believe  how  cold  a  house  can  be  at  two 
o'clock  in  the  morning  of  the  day  after 
Christmas  unless  you'd  got  up  in  it  as  I  did ; 
and  now  to  look  back  at  it,  I  see  how  lucky 
it  was  as  it  was  as  cold  as  it  was,  for  if  it 
hadn't  of  been,  I'd  a  gone  down  just  as  I 
was,  and  I  was  in  no  trim  to  meet  a  man 
burglar,  I  can  tell  you  that.  So  I  just 
slipped  into  this  flannel  wrapper  and  a  old 
pair  of  slippers,  which  I've  got  on  now  under 
these  arctics,  and  I  picked  up  the  candle  as 
I'd  lit,  and  down-stairs  I  went.  Well,  Mrs. 
Lathrop,  I  hope  you  may  never  in  your  born 
300 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

days  in  this  world  or  the  other  have  such  a 
shock  as  met  me  there  face  to  face  in  my 
own  new,  built-over  kitchen.  If  there  wasn't 
the  biggest  giant  of  a  man  I  ever  see  coming 
out  of  the  shadows  between  the  cookstove 
and  the  cellar  door.  And  he  with  his  head 
all  wrapped  around  in  one  of  my  best  plaid 
roller  towels,  so  that  nothing  of  him  was  to 
be  seen  but  two  fierce,  staring,  bloodshot  eyes 
as  gleamed  like  a  wild  beast's.  Oh,  my  soul 
and  body,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that  minute !  How 
I  ever  kept  my  senses  I  don't  pretend  to  say, 
more  especially  as  he  was  on  me  with  one 
jump.  There  was  no  such  thing  as  hold- 
ing on  to  the  candle,  you  can  see  that.  It 
dropped,  and  I  never  knew  I  dropped  it. 
For,  of  course,  I  shut  my  eyes,  and  when 
your  eyes  is  shut,  there's  no  knowing  whether 
there's  a  lighted  candle  about  or  whether 
there  isn't." 

In  her  agitation  over  the  recital,  Mrs.  La- 
throp, who  was  placing  cups  and  saucers  on 
the  table,  let  one  of  the  cups  slide  crashing 
to  the  floor.     "Oh,  Su — !"  she  exclaimed. 
301 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

"You  may  well  say :  'Oh,  Susan  P  "  Miss 
Clegg  continued.  "There  is  times  when 
'Oh,  Susan'  don't  half  express  the  state  of 
affairs,  and  this  was  one  of  'em,  Mrs.  La- 
throp.  It  wasn't  in  nature  for  me  not  to 
scream,  so  I  screamed,  and  it  was  that  scream 
that  did  the  business.  It  showed  the  bur- 
glar I  wasn't  deaf  and  dumb,  and  people  as 
isn't  deaf  and  dumb  is  looked  on  by  burglars 
as  their  natural  enemies.  Maybe  some  peo- 
ple can  scream  without  opening  their  mouths, 
but  I  never  was  one  of  that  kind,  and  the  kind 
as  open  their  mouths  when  they  scream  is 
the  kind  that  all  burglars  prefer.  It  saves 
'em  the  trouble  of  forcing  apart  their  jaws. 
I  never  shut  my  mouth  after  opening  it ;  for 
the  burglar  just  shoved  something  in  it  as 
quick  as  scat,  and  then  he  tied  a  bandage 
around  back  of  my  head  so  I  couldn't  spit  it 
out.  Then  he  picked  me  up  and  plumped  me 
down  hard  in  a  chair  and  tied  me  fast  to  it 
with  my  own  clothesline.  And  all  the  time 
he  never  no  more  opened  his  lips  to  speak 
than  if  he  couldn't.  It's  my  opinion  he  must 
302 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

have  had  a  cold  and  lost  his  voice.  Either 
that,  or  his  voice  was  such  a  unpleasant  voice 
he  was  ashamed  to  let  anybody  hear  it.  For 
it  ain't  in  common  sense  as  a  man,  even  if  he 
is  a  burglar,  could  keep  as  still  as  he  did,  if 
he  had  a  speaking  voice  that's  in  any  way  fit 
for  use.  I  know  in  the  time  he  took  there 
was  a  lot  of  things  I  felt  to  say  to  him,  and 
would  if  I  could,  and  common  sense'll  tell 
you,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  that  he  must  have  felt  to 
say  a  lot  of  things  to  me.  But  he  didn't 
make  so  much  as  a  peep  behind  his  roller 
towel." 

"Did — ?"  asked  Mrs.  Lathrop,  pouring  the 
tea. 

"I  can't  say  as  he  did  or  he  didn't.  I 
haven't  missed  nothing  yet,  but  then  I 
haven't  looked.  Still,  if  he  didn't  I  can't  say 
as  I'd  have  much  respect  for  him.  What 
sort  of  a  burglar  would  a  burglar  be  to  take 
all  that  trouble  of  breaking  in,  binding  and 
gagging,  and  then  go  away  without  helping 
himself  to  something  for  his  trouble.  I  ain't 
got  no  love  for  burglars  in  general  or  in  par- 
303 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ticular.  But  any  burglar  as  'Id  do  a  fool 
trick  like  that  I  ain't  got  no  respect  for 
neither." 

"How — ?"  queried  her  neighbor  as  she 
passed  Susan  her  cup. 

"It  was  something  of  a  job  I  can  tell  you, 
but  when  I  sets  my  mind  to  a  thing  I  sets  my 
mind  to  it,  and  ropes  and  a  kitchen  chair 
ain't  got  the  power  to  stop  me.  I  begun 
wriggling  as  soon  as  I  heard  the  burglar  shut 
the  door  behind  him,  and  I  kept  on  wriggling 
for  every  minute  of  the  five  hours.  A 
tramped-on  worm  never  did  more  turning 
and  wriggling  than  I  did  between  two  and 
seven  this  morning,  and  at  last  wriggling  be- 
ing its  own  reward,  I  wriggled  free,  first 
with  my  hands  and  then  with  my  feet.  But 
before  I  got  my  feet  free,  I  undid  the  band 
and  ungagged  myself  and  said  just  a  few  of 
the  things  that  was  bottled  up  all  that  time. 
The  Bible  says  there's  a  time  to  talk  and  a 
time  to  be  still,  but  there's  such  a  thing  as 
overdoing  the  still  time,  I  think,  and  when 
you're  gagged  by  a  burglar  is  one  of  'em." 
304 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

Susan  sipped  her  tea  for  a  moment  in  si- 
lence. 

"Where's  Jathrop  and  Mr.  Kettlewell?" 
she  asked  at  length.  "Ain't  they  up  yet  ?" 

Mrs.  Lathrop  nodded.  'They  start — " 
she  began. 

"You  don't  mean  they've  both  lit  out  al- 
ready?" asked  Susan  in  surprise.  Then: 
"I  was  hoping  to  see  Mr.  Kettlewell  again. 
But  it's  a  long  journey  back  to  New  York,  so 
I  suppose  they  set  off  before  light." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  nodded  once  more. 

"Aren't — ?"  she  questioned. 

"I  certainly  am.  I'm  going  to  report  the 
burglary  at  once.  I've  got  a  clue,  and  it 
ought  to  be  easy  enough  to  run  down  that 
burglar."  She  drew  from  her  bosom  a 
rather  damp  handkerchief.  "That's  what 
he  left  me  to  chew  on  for  five  hours,"  she 
said,  as  she  spread  it  out.  "And  there's  the 
clue  right  there  in  the  corner." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  took  it  to  the  window  and  in- 
spected it  through  her  glasses.     The  hand- 
kerchief was  initialed  with  a  "K." 
305 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

The  New  Year  came  and  January  was 
passing  and,  so  far  as  Susan  Clegg  cared  to 
divulge  at  least,  there  was  no  news  of  her 
burglar.  It  was  noted,  however,  not  only 
by  Mrs.  Lathrop,  but  by  Mrs.  Macy  and 
Gran'ma  Mullins,  and  indeed  by  all  the  ladies 
of  the  Sewing  Society,  that  Miss  Clegg  had 
adopted  an  air  of  secretiveness  concerning 
the  matter  that  was  quite  foreign  to  her  usual 
frank,  unreserved  communicativeness.  But 
the  curiosity  provoked  by  this  strangely  un- 
familiar attitude  was  swallowed  up  in  the 
sensational  tidings  which  spread  throughout 
the  community  shortly  after.  Without  so 
much  as  a  hint  of  warning,  Susan  Clegg 
had  vanished  between  dark  and  dawn,  leav- 
ing her  house  locked,  bolted,  and  barred,  the 
blinds  drawn,  and  the  shutters  fast  closed. 

For  once  Mrs.  Lathrop,  thus  deprived  of 
her  prop  and  her  stay,  evinced  sufficient  in- 
itiative to  have  the  cellar  door  forced  and 
a  search  of  the  premises  made ;  a  rumor  hav- 
ing got  abroad  that  the  burglar  had  returned, 
this  time  more  murderously  inclined,  and 

306 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

that  Miss  Clegg' s  mangled  corpse  would  be 
found  stiff  and  stark  within  her  own  dark- 
ened domicile.  To  every  one's  infinite  relief 
the  search  proved  the  rumor  utterly  un- 
founded; and  it  proved  something  more,  as 
well.  It  proved  that  Susan's  departure  was 
plainly  premeditated — "with  malice  pre- 
pense," to  quote  Judge  Fitch — since  all  her 
best  clothes  had  gone  with  her.  Whereupon 
sentiment  switched  to  the  opposite  pole,  and 
it  was  openly  declared  that  Miss  Clegg  had 
gone  after  the  burglar. 

The  wonder  was  of  a  magnitude  calculated 
to  extend  far  beyond  the  proverbial  nine 
days,  and  it  probably  would  have  greatly  ex- 
ceeded that  limit,  had  not  the  heroine  of  the 
affair  chosen  to  cut  it  short  of  her  own  voli- 
tion by  reappearing  quite  as  suddenly  as  she 
had  vanished,  at  the  end  of  a  single  week. 

Mrs.  Lathrop,  looking  across  from  her 
bedroom  window  as  she  arose  from  her 
night's  sleep  on  the  morning  of  the  eighth 
day,  was  joyously  startled  to  see  the  Clegg 
windows  unshaded,  and  the  house  otherwise 
307 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

displaying  signs  of  rehabitation.  Nor  did 
she  have  long  to  wait  for  the  explanation  of 
the  mystery,  which  to  the  exclusion  of  every- 
thing else  had  filled  her  mind  ever  since  her 
friend's  going.  With  a  shawl  over  her  head 
and  shoulders,  she  hastened  through  the  per- 
gola, and  the  next  moment  was  facing  her 
neighbor  with  glad  eyes  across  four  yards  of 
kitchen  floor  space. 

"Oh,  Susan !  Such  a  f  ri — "  These  were 
her  four  and  a  half  words  of  greeting. 

"I  knew  it  would,"  Miss  Clegg  caught  her 
up,  beaming  as  Mrs.  Lathrop  couldn't  re- 
member ever  to  have  seen  her  beam  before. 
"I  knew  it  would  frighten  you  all  half  to 
death,  but  when  a  thing's  to  be  done,  it's  to  be 
done,  and  there  ain't  no  use  shirking.  I  had 
to  go,  and  I  had  to  go  quick,  and  I  was  never 
so  glad  of  anything  in  my  life,  past  or  pres- 
ent, as  that  I  went.  Of  course,  it  was  all 
along  of  that  burglary,  as  any  fool  might 
have  guessed  if  they  took  the  trouble.  In  the 
first  place,  I  don't  mind  telling  you  now,  I 
went  straight  to  Mr.  Weskin  the  morning 

308 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

after  it  happened,  and  I  took  him  the  clue 
and  showed  it  to  him.  The  way  he  spun 
around  in  his  spinning  chair  was  fit  to  make 
even  a  level-headed  person  like  me  dizzy. 
He  examined  the  linen,  and  he  examined  the 
way  the  K  was  worked,  and  then  he  says,  no 
it  couldn't  possibly  be  Mr.  Kimball's.  Now, 
what  do  you  think  of  that  ?  Just  as  if  I  ever 
suspected  it  was.  I  guess  I  know  Mr.  Kim- 
ball  well  enough  to  know  him,  even  if  he  has 
got  his  head  wrapped  up  in  one  of  my  new 
roller  towels,  and  I  told  Lawyer  Weskin  so. 
Mr.  Kimball,  indeed!  But  Lawyer  Weskin 
said  as  he  didn't  never  hear  of  a  burglar 
whose  name  commenced  with  K,  and  he 
didn't  know  a  soul  in  these  parts  either,  bur- 
glar or  no  burglar,  whose  name  did,  except 
Mr.  Kimball.  There's  only  one  way  to  fer- 
ret out  the  perpetrator  of  a  crime,  he  says, 
and  that's  by  deduction,  and  the  first  rule  of 
deduction  is  to  guess  what  the  K  stands  for. 
I  never  thought  much  of  Lawyer  Weskin, 
I'm  free  to  admit  that,  but  if  he  don't  know 
nothing  else,  it's  as  clear  as  shooting  that  he 
309 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

does  know  about  education.  For  in  the  end 
it  worked  out  just  as  he  said,  and  the  Lord 
be  praised  for  it." 

"You  don't — "  began  Mrs.  Lathrop  in  as- 
tonishment. 

"I  don't  say  as  Mr.  Kimball  had  a  thing  to 
do  with  it.  I  certainly  don't.  In  the  first 
place,  Mr.  Kimball  would  never  dare  to  come 
to  my  house  at  such  a  hour  of  the  morning, 
and  in  the  second  place  Mr.  Kimball  never 
carried  as  fine  a  handkerchief  as  the  one  I 
chewed  on.  So  that  put  it  past  Mr.  Kim- 
ball. And  the  only  other  K  I  could  possibly 
think  of  was  old  Mrs.  Kitts  over  to  Mead- 
ville,  who  could  no  more  of  got  over  here 
than  could  the  king  of  the  Sandwich  Islands, 
whose  name  begins  with  K,  too.  There  was 
the  Kellys,  of  course,  but  the  Kellys  couldn't 
qualify  neither,  for  they're  too  rich  to  need  to 
do  any  burglarizing.  Well,  I  can  tell  you,  I 
soon  come  to  a  point  where  I  didn't  know 
where  to  turn,  and  I  never  would  of  turned 
neither,  if  it  hadn't  of  been  for  a  letter  I  got 
the  day  of  the  night  I  went  away.  You'd 
310 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

never  guess  in  the  world,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  who 
that  letter  was  from  so  I  may  as  well  tell 
you  first  as  last.  It  was  from  Mr.  Kettle- 
well/' 

Mrs.  Lathrop  opened  her  mouth  in  aston- 
ishment, but  no  sound  came  forth. 

"I  knew  it'ld  surprise  you,  but  it's  as  true 
as  we're  both  standing  in  this  kitchen  at  this 
minute.  It  was  a  Very  nice  letter,  and  it  said 
as  how  he  had  admired  me  from  the  first 
minute  he  saw  me,  but  more  particularly 
after  he'd  sat  opposite  to  me  at  the  table  and 
eat  my  cranberry  sauce.  He  said  he'd  al- 
ways loved  cranberry  sauce,  but  as  he  felt 
he'd  never  tasted  none  until  he  tasted  mine. 
I  certainly  never  see  a  more  complimentary 
letter  than  that  letter  of  Mr.  Kettlewell's. 
But  it  was  the  end  of  the  letter  where  he 
signed  his  name  that  lit  me  up  with  the  clear 
light  of  revelation.  Until  I  see  his  name 
spelled  out  there  in  black  and  white,  I  never 
once  believed  it  begun  with  a  K.  I'd  thought 
all  along  as  his  name  was  Cattlewell,  with  a 
C.  Far  be  it  from  me,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  to 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

ever  have  suspected  as  Jathrop's  friend 
would  stoop  to  housebreaking  and  to  binding 
and  gagging  a  lone  woman,  but  there's  other 
ways  as  his  handkerchief  might  have  got  to 
my  mouth,  and  I  felt  to  know  the  truth.  His 
address  was  on  the  letter,  and  there  was 
nothing  as  could  have  stayed  me  from  get- 
ting to  that  address  as  fast  as  steam  and 
steel  could  carry  me.  I  left  in  the  middle  of 
the  night,  and  I  got  to  New  York  in  the 
morning,  and  I  didn't  have  that  feeling  for 
nothing.  Mr.  Kettlewell  was  at  his  hotel, 
and  in  all  my  born  days  I  never  see  a  person 
gladder  to  see  anybody  than  Mr.  Kettlewell 
was  to  see  me.  It's  marvelous  what  a  im- 
pression a  little  good  cooking  will  make  on  a 
man,  even  if  it's  only  in  cranberry  sauce. 
His  mouth  actually  hadn't  stopped  watering 
yet.  Leastwise  he  said  it  hadn't,  and  I'd  be 
a  fool  not  to  believe  him.  He  begun  talking 
about  it  right  away,  and  I  let  him  talk,  just 
so's  I  could  look  at  his  shiny  bald  head  and 
his  red  whiskers  without  having  to  think  of 
anything  else  except  the  sound  of  his  milk- 
312  - 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

and-honey  voice.  Finally  he  said  he  sup- 
posed I'd  come  to  the  city  to  select  Jathrop's 
Christmas  present  of  furnishings,  and  if  I'd 
like  him  to  help  me  select  'em,  he'd  be  glad 
enough  to  go  along  aiid  lend  a  hand.  Well, 
nothing  could  of  been  nicer  than  that,  now, 
could  it?  But  I  told  him  I  wasn't  one  as 
traveled  all  the  way  to  New  York  under  false 
pretences,  and  that  if  he  must  have  the 
truth,  I'd  never  give  one  thought  to  Jathrop's 
present  since  he  mentioned  it.  All  my 
thought,  I  said,  had  been  give  to  finding  a 
handkerchief  with  a  K  onto  it,  which  I'd 
washed  and  ironed  with  my  own  hands  and 
brought  to  him,  believing  I  must  of  picked  it 
up  at  the  Christmas  dinner  by  mistake,  and 
not  wanting  him  to  feel  the  need  of  it  any 
longer.  And  you  can  believe  me  or  not, 
Mrs.  Lathrop,  just  as  you  feel  about  it,  if  he 
didn't  right  then  and  there  on  seeing  that 
clue,  confess  that  it  did  belong  to  him,  and 
that  he  couldn't  for  the  life  of  him  remember 
where  he'd  left  it." 

Mrs.  Lathrop,  who  had  been  standing  all 
3-3 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

the  while,  dropped  into  a  chair  at  this  point 
in  dumb  stupefaction.  But  Susan,  who  had 
been  caught  with  a  bowl  of  batter  in  one 
hand  and  a  spoon  in  the  other,  paused  only 
to  do  a  little  more  stirring. 

"Yes,  sir,"  she  went  on,  still  apparently  as 
pleased  as  punch.  "The  clue  belonged  to 
Mr.  Kettlewell  and  no  one  else,  which  led  me 
to  suspect  right  away  that  the  burglar  must 
have  robbed  your  house  first.  I  knowed 
very  well  that  I  never  carried  that  clue  home 
myself,  though  I'd  said  I  might,  just  for 
the  sake  of  drawing  Mr.  Kettlewell  on.  And 
so  how  could  it  have  got  into  my  mouth  un- 
less the  burglar  got  it  from  Mr.  Kettlewell 
himself?  But  there  is  stranger  things  in 
this  world  than  you  and  me  ever  dreamed 
of,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  and  that  was  one  of  'em. 
Mr.  Kettlewell  is  a  very  frank  and  open 
gentleman,  and  seeing  how  disturbed  I  was 
over  something,  though  I'd  never  so  much  as 
breathed  burglar  or  burglary,  he  made  an- 
other confession.  And  when  it  comes  to 
dreaming,  there  is  very  few  people,  he  said,  as 
3H 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

has  the  power  to  dream  the  way  he  does.  He 
don't  just  lie  still  in  bed  and  picture  things 
out  in  his  sleep,  but  he  gets  up  and  does  the 
things  he's  dreaming  about.  He  ain't  got  no 
limitations  in  it,  either.  Sleepwalkers  is 
more  or  less  common.  But  sleepwalkers  just 
walk,  and  that  ends  'em.  Mr.  Kettlewell 
says  he  very  seldom  walks.  He  usually 
drives  a  automobile  when  he's  dreaming,  just 
as  he  does  when  he's  wide  awake.  Some- 
times he  comes  to  while  he's  driving,  and 
he's  found  himself  often  as  much  as  a  couple 
a  hundred  miles  from  home,  and  without  a 
cent  in  his  clothes,  the  clothes  usually  being 
just  pajamas  with  nothing  but  a  handker- 
chief in  the  pocket.  Now,  if  you  had  any 
imagination  a  tall,  Mrs.  Lathrop,  you'd  see 
what  I'm  coming  to,  but  as  you  haven't  you 
don't,  I  can  tell  by  the  way  you  look.  So 
you'll  get  the  full  benefit  of  the  surprise  when 
I  say  that  on  Christmas  night  Mr.  Kettlewell 
distinctly  remembers  he  dreamed  of  com- 
mitting a  burglary.  He  says  it  wasn't  my 
mince  pie  as  did  it,  because  he's  often  eaten 
315 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

mince  pie  before  and  never  dreamed  nothing 
worse  than  going  to  the  electric  chair ;  and  it 
wasn't  my  stuffing  neither,  for  turkey  stuf- 
fing when  it's  indigestible  always  makes  him 
dream  he's  a  monkey  climbing  trees.  He 
says  once  he  woke  up  sudden  and  fell  and 
broke  his  arm,  but  that  that  was  a  long  while 
ago.  Now  he's  had  more  experience,  he 
never  wakes  up  till  he's  safe  back  in  bed 
again.  And  he  says  doughnuts  causes  his 
dreams  to  run  back  to  when  he  was  a  boy, 
and  one  time  he  come  to,  after  a  after-dinner 
nap,  when  he  had  doughnuts  for  dessert, 
playing  marbles  in  the  back  alley  with  a  lot  of 
street  urchins.  I  can  tell  you,  Mrs.  Lathrop, 
he  was  most  interesting.  He's  got  all  his 
dreams  sort  of  classified  in  that  way,  and  can 
almost  tell  to  a  dot  what  he'll  dream  about  ac- 
cording to  what  he  eats.  And  he  says  soggy 
biscuits  always  makes  him  dream  he's  rob- 
bing a  house  or  killing  somebody.  It  was 
mighty  lucky  for  me,  as  you  can  see  for 
yourself,  that  this  time  he  only  dreamed  of 
binding  and  gagging.  If  he'd  dreamed  of 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

murder,  I'd  not  be  here  now  to  tell  the  tale. 
And  it's  clean  to  be  seen  that  your  biscuits 
would  of  been  an  accessory  before  the 
fact." 

"Then  he—" 

"Yes,  it  was  him  as  done  it,  and  without  no 
moral  blame  attaching  to  him  a  tall.  If  he'd 
killed  me,  the  law  couldn't  of  touched  him 
either,  for  the  law  takes  no  account  of  what 
a  person  does  while  they're  asleep.  But  as 
you  made  the  biscuits  in  your  full  senses  and 
with  your  eyes  wide  open,  you'd  of  been  the 
only  one  to  blame." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  groaned.  "You  know, 
Sus — "  she  protested. 

"Of  course  if  I  was  alive,  I'd  never  hold  it 
against  you,  because  I  know  very  well  you 
can't  make  biscuits  no  better,  and  ain't  never 
had  sense  enough  to  learn.  But  if  I  was 
murdered,  my  ghost  couldn't  testify,  and  I 
don't  see  as  how  you  could  be  saved  from  the 
law  taking  its  course." 

At  this  juncture  there  was  a  sound  over- 
head, and  both  ladies  started,  Mrs.  Lathrop 
317 


SUSAN  CLEGG  AND 

in  surprise  and  her  friend  in  sudden  realiza- 
tion of  neglected  duties. 

"What  is — ?"  inquired  Mrs.  Lathrop. 

"It's  him,"  answered  Susan.  "Mr.  Ket- 
tlewell.  And  the  coffee's  boiled  now  till  it's 
bitter,  and  there  ain't  a  single  cake  on  the 
griddle."  She  was  turning  back  to  the  stove 
as  Mrs.  Lathrop's  exclamation  caught  her 
and  switched  her  around. 

"Why,  Susan  Clegg!" 

"Don't  Susan  Clegg  me,  Mrs.  Lathrop," 
she  commanded.  "There  ain't  no  Susan 
Clegg  any  more.  When  Susan  Clegg  disap- 
peared a  week  ago  last  night,  she  disappeared 
for  good,  never  to  return.  And  if  you 
suspect  anything  else,  it's  best  I  should 
introduce  myself  here  and  now, — Susan 
Kettlewell,  from'  this  time  forth,  if  you 
please." 

Mrs.  Lathrop  sprang  up  and  dropped  back 
again. 

"You  don't—" 

"I  do.  I  do  mean  to  say  I'm  married  at 
last.  We  was  wedded  with  a  ring  in  New 

318 


HER  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

York  last  Wednesday,  and  it's  my  husband's 
footsteps  you  hear  up  there  in  the  new  bath- 
room." 

She  dropped  three  spreading  spoonfuls  of 
batter  on  the  greased  griddle  and  gave  Mrs. 
Lathrop  a  full  minute  to  absorb  the  an- 
nouncement. Then,  as  she  drew  the  coffee 
pot  to  one  side,  she  continued : 

"And  it  was  purely  a  love  match,  make  no 
mistake  about  that.  He's  got  money  enough 
to  buy  and  sell  Jathrop,  but  he's  as  simple- 
minded  and  simple-tasted  as  a  babe  in  arms. 
And  there's  nothing  I  can  think  of  that  he's 
not  ready  and  willing  to  give  me.  Besides, 
he's  frank  and  open  about  everything.  He 
says  his  teeth  is  false,  and  he  has  a  bullet  in 
his  right  leg,  got  one  time  when  he  dreamed 
somebody  was  shooting  him ;  but  that  other- 
wise he's  as  perfect  as  a  man  of  his  age  can 
be.  He  says  he'll  buy  a  wig  if  I  want  him  to, 
and  that  if  I  don't  like  the  color  of  his 
whiskers,  he'll  have  'em  dyed  whatever  color 
I'd  like  best,  and  the  wig'l  be  made  to 
match.  But  I  wouldn't  have  him  changed 
319 


SUSAN  CLEGG'S  LOVE  AFFAIRS 

the  least  mite.  And  if  there's  one  thing  in 
the  world  I'm  thankful  for  it  is  that  I  got 
him  and  not  Jathrop.  And  I'm  not  thinking 
from  the  financial  standpoint,  neither." 


THE  END 


320 


Distinctive  Fiction  by  Anne  Warner 


The  reading  world  owes  Anne  Warner  a  vote  of 
thanks  for  her  contributions  to  the  best  of  American 
humor.—  New  York  Times.  Anne  Warner  has  taken 
her  place  as  one  of  the  drollest  of  American  humorists. 
—  Century  Magazine. 


The  Gay  and  Festive  Claverhouse 

Illustrated.    $1.00  net 

A  story  of  the  desperate  attempt  of  a  supposedly  dying  man  to 
lose  the  love  of  a  girl. 

Sunshine  Jane  Frontispiece.    $1.00  net 

The  joyful  story  of  a  Sunshine  Nurse  whose  mission  was  not  to 
care  for  sick  bodies  but  to  heal  sick  souls. 

When  Woman  Proposes.  Illustrated  in  color.  $1.25  net 

A  clever  and  entertaining  story  of  a  woman  who  fell  in  love  with 
an  army  officer. 

HOW  Leslie  Loved  Illustrated  in  color.    $1.25  net 

Not  only  a  buoyant  love  story  but  a  penetrating  satire  on  modern 


Just  Between  Themselves        Frontispiece.    $1.30  net 

A  vivacious  satire  on  married  life  which  is  full  of  mirth  of  the 
quieter,  chuckling  variety. 


Little,  Brown  &  Co.,  Publishers,  Boston 


Distinctive  Fiction  by  Anne  Warner 

The  Taming  of  Amorette  illustrated.    $1.00  net 

A  clever  comedy  telling  how  a  man  cured  his  attractive  wife  of 
flirting. 

Susan  Clegg,  Her  Friend,  and  Her  Neighbors 

Illustrated.     $1.30  net 

A  study  of  life  which  is  most  delectable  for  its  simplicity  and 
for  the  quaint  character  creation. 

Susan  Clegg  and  a  Man  in  the  House 

Illustrated.     $1.30  net 

The  remarkable  happenings  at  the  Clegg  homestead  after  the 
boarder  came. 

The  Rejuvenation  of  Aunt  Mary,  illustrated.  $1.30  net 

The  pranks  of  a  scapegrace  nephew  who  was  showing  his  old 
aunt  a  "good  time." 

In  a  Mysterious  Way  illustrated.    $1.30  net 

Compounded  of  amusing  studies  of  human  nature  in  a  rural 
community. 

A  Woman's  Will  Illustrated.    $1.30  net 

Describes  the  wooing  of  a  young  American  widow  on  the 
continent  by  a  musical  genius. 


Little,  Brown  &  Co.,  Publishers,  Boston 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


DUE  3  MONTHS  FROM 
DAIS  RECEIVED 

EC'D  LOW 


1 2  1996 


orm  L9-40m-7,'56(C790s4)444 


PS 


French  — 


1719 
F88sL 


Susan  Clegg  and 
her  love  affairs 


PS  , 
1719 
F88sSL 


